Let's Play - Kirjastotati (A Librarian)
1:03:27
A small Finnish-made AGS game this one. Seemed funny enough so I decided to do a little LP video of it. Unfortunately the fact that the game is originally in finnish and I'm translating on the fly makes this video less than optimal to watch.
Oh well, hope you still enjoy, I know I did!
Tags: AGS Big Blue Cup Library Librarian Brains Goth Cat Robot Boss Coffee Hemuuuli WHAM WHAMGAMES
Added: 6 months ago
From: whamtheman
Views: 164
[scene opens inside a library, with a male librarian (with a beard) talking to a female librarian (in pigtails and glasses)]
MALE LIBRARIAN: Welcome to the wonderful world of libraries! In your work, you're going to need a good back, quick fingers, and sharp wits. With first-timers, I'm always emphasizing patience; in the library, you should never lose your nerves. You may even lose your job if you do.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: But I've worked here for twenty years ...
MALE LIBRARIAN: Oh, don't try to fool me, little girl! I never forget a face!
[the player is prompted to ask a question]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: How many books does this library have?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Two hundred thirty five thousand, eight hundred and eighty four ... For you, you only have permission to touch twelve books in the following categories. Adult, guides, magazines, philosophy and religion.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Why?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Do not question God's will!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So I can only touch twelve books ...
[the player is prompted to ask a question]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: When is the coffee break?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Not now.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Ten o'clock?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Nope.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Twelve o'clock?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Nope.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Two o'clock?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Nope. It's roughly after serving your fifth customer.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What do we have for our coffee break?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Coffee.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Anything else?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Not for you. And you wouldn't have time to get anything else, anyway.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: How long is the coffee break?
MALE LIBRARIAN: You should ask how short is it ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Well, how short is it?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Enough about coffee!
[the player is prompted to ask a question]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I already know everything.
MALE LIBRARIAN: But I know more ... I'll be on my coffee break, try not to destroy the library.
[he exits a door behind the front desk, as a pimply-faced goth kid approaches]
[she checks a sign above the desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: "Workplace rules. 1. The boss is always right. 2. If the boss is wrong, the first rule will immediately be enforced."
[she checks the desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's the ring bell, so the customers can call me ... I don't like the ring bell. It reminds me of being busy.
[she approaches the male patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Good morning, how can I help you?
GOTH KID: Ummm ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What kind of book are you looking for?
GOTH KID: That kind.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Uh, can you be more specific?
GOTH KID: Kinda like, about ... that. Y'know.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Do you know the name of the book?
GOTH KID: Uhhh ... Some kind of guide.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What's it about?
GOTH KID: About ... that.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Where might it be?
GOTH KID: Young people section?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Gotcha! Wait here, I'll find your book.
GOTH KID: Yeah ...
[she looks at the bookshelf behind the desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Those are reserved books.
[she leaves the desk and checks the stacks]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Only a select few are able to read these call numbers, filled with cryptic symbols ...
[she looks at one of the shelves, which has been cordoned off with black and yellow police tape]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] A crime scene. If a book is stolen from us, the boss will look into it personally.
[she looks at a statue of a stuffed cat sitting near the window]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] I love cats. They're fluffy and wuffy and soft ...
[she looks at the shelf marked "Guides"]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [reading the titles] "Lace Crafts." "Do It Yourself Television." "Being a Teenager: Sex."
[she takes the sex guide and heads back to the front desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Have a book, kid!
GOTH KID: Thank you, this is the book I was looking for.
[he leaves, then an elderly bald man approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Looks rich ... Although I like bald people, I'd like to know them a little bit better before touching them.
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What're you looking for?
BALD MAN: Good day ... Don't they teach you any manners in here? It is rude not to greet a paying customer properly!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: The last time I checked, the library was free.
BALD MAN: But it works on tax payers' money!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Yes.
BALD MAN: Well, I pay taxes, thus I pay for the library!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Right.
BALD MAN: Besides, I pay more taxes than you do! We rich people pay a larger percentage of taxes, you know! More than likely, I'm paying more taxes than you get paid!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Now who's being impolite?
BALD MAN: Keep up that attitude, I'll tell your superior, and he's going to lower your salary!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Now you're rubbing salt in my wounds!
BALD MAN: Happily! In Finland, income inequality rises all the time, and social services will deteriorate as a result! Soon we'll be doing it like the Americans; low wage workers such as yourself are practically slaves for us rich folk! You'll be paying your debts happily ever after, working the sweat on your brow, day after day, twenty four hours a day! That's what we rich bankers would like!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So, if you're that rich, why not just buy the book instead of coming here and pissing people off?
BALD MAN: Do you think I'd be rich if I hadn't used every opportunity to be cheap?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So what kind of book are you looking for?
BALD MAN: Something to get me more money ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So why are you in the library, looking for something that would help you make more money?
BALD MAN: Because I saw a product in the store today which interests me.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: And you decided to come to the library to get it?
BALD MAN: Of course! Why should I waste my money for something that I'm only going to read a part of?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Was it a thick book?
BALD MAN: It was a flat one!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What was the name of the book, if you saw it in the store already?
BALD MAN: I can't remember ... It was green.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I think I can find it for you now.
BALD MAN: That's the spirit! That's how you serve a customer!
[she leaves the desk and checks the magazine rack]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [reading the titles] "Schoolgirl." "Health Journal: Asthma, Diabetes, Allergies." "Garden."
[she takes the gardening magazine]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] This magazine about gardening tells about growing a money tree.
[she heads back to the front desk and gives the magazine to the man]
BALD MAN: This is the right book ... Goodbye!
[he leaves, then an old woman with a walker approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Old granny. Roughly seventy five to eighty years old. Looks like she needs help moving around.
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Hello! How can I help you?
OLD LADY: Oh, what a young and pretty librarian!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Thank you.
OLD LADY: I remember when I was young like that ... I might've been prettier than you, though. Nowadays I'm all wrinkled. Got to use all kinds of waxes nowadays to make myself look like a human being! Aloe vera is very good stuff, smells good too! Reminds me of the flowers of my childhood.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I like flowers, too.
OLD LADY: There used to be so much more flowers. Now there's only those grey boxes of concrete everywhere! The forests of my childhood, chopped down! Even the old berry bushes are gone! When I had the energy, I used to go away every summer, picking berries out of bushes! Do you go picking berries?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I ...
OLD LADY: Don't you care about the beautiful forests of Finland? My husband died during the War, you know. Defending the forests of this country, and the country itself! Did my husband die for nothing?!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I didn't mean that--
OLD LADY: Excuses! I'm going to tell your manager! Manager, you have a rude librarian here!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Shh!
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Shut up! Can't I even eat some pastries in peace over here?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: You must have a lot of wisdom to share ...
OLD LADY: I don't know, I just came here to get a book, not to gossip ... but did you know that in the next county over, there was a nice young man working in a library? You two would fit well together! You look just like him, both wearing huge glasses on top of your noses! Is that called fashion?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Yes, the latest.
OLD LADY: And you're wasting your money on the latest fashion? I've got stuff like that in my attic! They don't even know how to value money anymore ... It was better when we used the markka; they should bring the old currency back! I've got a lot of old Finnish markkas in my sock drawer!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Why? They're not worth anything anymore.
OLD LADY: In our bobbin lace shop, we still pay each other in markkas. We don't trust these new-fangled Euro thingies!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Right ... so, what book would you like?
OLD LADY: I already told you!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: No you didn't.
OLD LADY: You are not going to tell me that I have a poor memory! I demand to see your superior!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: But--
OLD LADY: They're telling me I'm demented!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Hey! I didn't say that!
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Accept the facts!
OLD LADY: Huh?
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] You are demented! Now, for god's sake, let me have these chocolate cookies in peace!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I want to help you find your book.
OLD LADY: Young people today are so lazy!
[she leaves the desk and heads for the "Guides" section, grabbing the "Lace Crafts" book]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] As a child, I used to often borrow craft guides ... I did skip this one, though.
[she heads back to the front desk and gives the guide to the old woman]
OLD LADY: Thank you, now my pension days will be much nicer! How long can I borrow this again?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Four weeks.
OLD LADY: I'll be back to return it, then ... Bye bye, I'm leaving now.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Have a good rest of your life!
[she leaves, then a little baby crawls up to the desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's a baby. Some people think they're cute, I think they're a little bit gross.
[she inspects the baby again]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Kick the baby!
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Hi! Good day! How are you doing?
[the baby gives no reaction]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm talking to myself here ... I'm the librarian. Hey! I'm still talking to myself!
[she tries again]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Goood mor-niiing ...
BABY: Goo goo!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Do I have to serve a baby?
BABY: Gaa gaa!
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Don't underestimate the customers!
BABY: [babbles something like "That's what you get!"]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Where are your parents?
BABY: [babbles something like "At home!"]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What kind of book are you looking for?
BABY: [babbles something like "The works of Plato!"]
[she leaves the desk and checks the "Philosophy/Religion" section]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [reading the titles] "Religions of the World." I'm not interested in religion, I make my own fortunes ... though not very well.
[she continues reading the titles]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: "Plato's The Republic."
[the last book in the section is written in Braille]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [spelling out the title] "The Bible."
[she takes "The Repulic" and heads back to the desk, where she gives it to the baby]
BABY: [babbles something like "Thank you!"]
[he crawls away, then a ninja suddenly appears before her in a cloud of smoke]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's either a cold blooded assassin, or a pathetic live action role player ... I'm not gonna start guessing with the threat of my life in the balance.
NINJA: Cough cough ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: How can I help you?
NINJA: You can serve me. I'm looking for a great treasure.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Is that a real sword?
NINJA: This sword is more genuine than the smile on the librarian's face.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: You're not allowed to bring weapons in the library.
NINJA: Enemy can strike at any time! Always need to be prepared!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Yes, but the security guard might not agree with you there ... Where are they, by the way? They should've stopped you outside.
NINJA: The enemy always is present!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Did you kill them?!
NINJA: He who stands in my way shall receive "cold pardon" ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Right, I won't stand in your way. Whatever the "cold pardon" is, I don't want it ...
NINJA: You have good sense of self preservation, librarian!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So, what is this great treasure?
NINJA: A book! Cough cough ... Mighty guide telling magics.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: What kind of magics?
NINJA: I have great problem! Smokey bombs make me cough! Cough cough ... I'd like to know how to breathe better.
[she leaves the desk and checks the magazine rack, taking the Health Journal]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] "Health Magazine Number 3." This one is all about asthma, diabetes, and allergies.
[she heads back to the desk, where she gives it to the ninja]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Here you are.
NINJA: I shall remember your brave deed. Future generations shall hear of your power.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Thank you for the honor. Now could you please leave? Bladed weapons make me nervous.
NINJA: Thy will be done.
[the ninja disappears in a puff of smoke]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It is time for lunch right about now ...
[she enters the door behind the front desk, where she finds her supervisor standing in the break room]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm here for my coffee break.
MALE LIBRARIAN: Ah yes, you workers expect to have stuff like that nowadays. Don't spend too long. You have one minute.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I better get started, then.
[she checks the coffee machine]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Most of this year's budget was spent on a new coffee machine ... Too bad only the boss can use it. All we have is this old one, which some antique collector might pay a good sum for.
[she opens the cabinet above the sink, and looks at all of the coffee mugs]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [reading the captions on one of the mugs] "I'm not a momma's girl."
[she looks at a paper cup]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] This one won't handle coffee.
[she looks at a red coffee mug]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] This is not my cup.
[she looks at an old chipped blue coffee mug]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] This will have to do ...
[she tries to bring the mug to the coffee machine]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's too dirty, I have to wash it first.
[she turns on the sink and rinses the cup]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It has been washed.
[she brings the mug to the coffee machine]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] I have filled the cup.
[she drinks the coffee]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Aaah!
[cut to the front desk, as the librarian's coffee break is over, when a crazy-looking man approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's a local hobo.
[she approaches the patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Good day, how may I help you?
HOBO: No! How can I help such a lovely creature as yourself? I don't see a wondeful package like that everyday!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Ahem, thank you ... I'm guessing you've indulged in something other than orange juice this morning?
HOBO: Maybe a little ... Hik! That won't slow me down, though. I'm in the best shape of my life!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Well, that's good for you ... So, what would you like?
HOBO: You!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Me?
HOBO: Well, I had something else in mind, but I forgot when I stepped through the door ... My feet go soft before you! My heart pounds, and the stuff in my pants gets hard!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Please spare me the details ...
[she takes a step back]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] I shall press the silent alarm.
HOBO: Hik! I think you're secretly trying to press the silent alarm ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: How did you know?
HOBO: Listen, young lady, you are talking to the former ... Hik! I can't remember exactly anymore. I've been a lot of things, maybe even a security guard in the past.
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Watch closely, rookie ... That man was once an employee of mine!
HOBO: Hik! No, that voice! You ... you took everything from me!
[he begins to cry]
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] I don't like failures!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: How terrible!
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] What did you say?!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I mean, how terrible the weather ... that the forecast promised for tomorrow. I just remembered.
MALE LIBRARIAN: I need to buy shorts!
HOBO: Boo hoo ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So, what book are you looking for?
HOBO: Oh, oh it's been such a long time ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Keep talking.
HOBO: When I last touched soft, sensual--
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Please do not continue.
HOBO: Womens' ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: No!
HOBO: Front cover.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Hmm? That's a strange euphemism for it, if I didn't know better.
[she leaves the desk and checks the magazine rack, taking the "Schoolgirl" magazine]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] A very popular magazine for little girls.
[she heads back to the desk, where she gives it to the hobo]
HOBO: Hik! I won't need this!
[she leaves the desk and checks the "Adults" shelf]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [reading the titles] "A Book of a Book of a Book." "Poems: Shortcuts to a Woman's Heart." "Women by Charles Bukowski."
[she takes the Bukowski book and brings it back to the hobo]
HOBO: That looks like a nice book ... Ahhh, hik! How pleasant it feels in my hands! I think I touched you when I picked up the book.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: The pleasure is all yours ...
[he leaves, then a blind man approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] He's got a note on his chest. He's deaf, mute, and blind.
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Hello!
BLIND MAN: ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: No answer.
[she leaves the desk and checks the "Philosphy/Religion" section, where she picks up the Braille Bible and brings it back to the man]
BLIND MAN: ...
[he takes the book and walks away, then a geeky-loving male teenager approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] Judging by the appearance and the smell, he hasn't showered in awhile.
GEEK: Hmmnhnhmmh ... Hey, man.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Nice glasses.
GEEK: ROFL!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Who's "Rofl"?
GEEK: It's what a n00b such as yourself seems to be.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about.
GEEK: You've never used the interweb? OMG! Everyone talks like this? Don't you have any tech books in this library?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm guessing you don't mean a barcode reader or digital directory?
GEEK: Well, you should have those in the library, at least ... How poor!
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Poorness is a state of mind!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So, what can I help you with?
GEEK: I'm looking for a book about something ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Yes?
GEEK: At my house, the internet connection is pretty slow, even though it's a 100mb WLAN, y'know?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So you're upgrading?
GEEK: No LOL! I wish, I might just end up moving out.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So you're looking for books on moving?
GEEK: Wut? Well no, I'm looking for something to improve my social skills. Get a little experience and bonus points in speechcraft, y'know?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm still not sure I understand?
GEEK: You'll know what I'm looking for if your perception skill is at least eight ... Judging by your glasses, it is.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'm going to go look for your book now. Just a minute.
GEEK: Roger that.
[she leaves the desk and checks the "Adults" section, where she picks up the book of poems and brings it back to the geek]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Here you go.
GEEK: Mmhmn, yeeesss ... "May the force be with you," y'know? Quite l33t of you! Well, been AFK in World of Warcraft for so long, the guild is gonna be angry. C U!
[he leaves, then a robot approaches]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] It's a talking tin can. It's a local mad scientist's invention. It talks a lot, but is mostly harmless.
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Good evening.
ROBOT: Good evening. I demand something to enslave mankind.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Please wait a minute.
ROBOT: I shall hold.
[she leaves the desk and checks the "Guides" section, where she picks up the book on "Do It Yourself Television" and brings it back to the robot]
ROBOT: Suitable object.
[it rolls away, then a zombie shuffles over to the front desk]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: It's one of the living dead.
[she approaches the new patron]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: We're going to close the library soon, but I'll serve you.
ZOMBIE: Braains!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Brains?
ZOMBIE: Nom nom braains!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Quite so ... This is not a restaurant.
ZOMBIE: Aaaiii ... Braains?!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I'll find you something with brains in it ...
ZOMBIE: Braains!
[she leaves the desk and inspects the cat statue near the window]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] The cat's head is loose. Children have torn it off before.
[she takes the cat's head off and opens it up to reveal the brains inside]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [to herself] A cat's head. It's smiling and looks cute.
[she heads back to the desk, where she gives the cat's head to the zombie]
ZOMBIE: Braains! Nom nom nom!
[he shambles off]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: The library will now close. The day is done.
[cut to the two librarians standing behind the front desk]
MALE LIBRARIAN: Well? How was the day?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Wonderful!
MALE LIBRARIAN: Don't be so smug! You'll be making mistakes in the future. Besides, the library didn't make any profit today.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: So how can I make profit, if nobody returns their books late for the late fee?
MALE LIBRARIAN: You have to complain that the books are damaged, or don't mark them as returned even if the customer asks. Just tell them that the return machine is now broken, and that it's too bad they'll be fined.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: But that's cheating!
MALE LIBRARIAN: That's why it's your job and not mine.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I quit!
MALE LIBRARIAN: You can't. Your contract says that you have to give me one month's notice if you're quitting ... Besides, the break room floor is dirty. Some of my chocolate chip cookies got crumbled up on it. Chop chop, you still have some work time left to clean up the mess.
[cut to the female librarian alone in the break room, holding a broom with a sad look on her face]
Samuli Jaaskelainen
Kriina Rytkonen
2011
Adventure Game
Game Studio 3.11
---
From adventuregamestudio.co.uk:
Kirjastotati
Author: Samuli Jaaskelainen
Resolution: 320x200 at 16-bit color
This game is about a normal day in a shoes of librarian in a small library. You encounter various customers as well as exciting coffee break during your day. The game takes about an hour to complete.
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