Monday, January 16, 2012

Case Study No. 0173: Holo Woman

Poet Man
Droppin' those SUPER NOVA rhymes, yo ... character/ ch0082607/
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Added: 2 years ago
From: ExxPoet
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[the crew of the spaceship Lexx is flying over the lifeless surface of the planet Brunnis, when security guard Stanley Tweedle notices a structure shaped like a giant head jutting out of the landscape]
STANLEY: What is that?
KAI: The Memory Chambers. Everything they knew was kept in there.
[the crew lands and approaches the entrance to the structure]
STANLEY: Now that's one big head ... Just how exactly do you plan to get us through those doors?
[an "eye" above the door scans them, which triggers a hologram of a woman (played by Kate Rose) to start playing]
HOLO WOMAN: Greetings, travellers. I bid you welcome. Here on Brunnis, within these walls, you will find the combined knowledge of countless generations ...
[the hologram flickers, then is replaced by a different hologram of the Poet Man]
POET MAN: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!
[as the crew looks on in confusion, he starts reciting poetry]
POET MAN: Dullness. Ethereal, ephemeral, allegorical dullness! The blunted boredom rises from the gorge of her insufferable lips, and floats like the tedious feather of a long dead bird until it lands naked with tired memory next to your fleshy feet. Ha! Oh, but she's gone now, away away. Like all the others, away away ... Only I, Poet Man, have chosen to stay.
[he switches back to plain speech]
POET MAN: Well, okay. So the truth be told, it wasn't exactly a choice. But, be that as it may, I welcome you, travellers, to the Memory Catacombs of the Brunnen-G!
[the hologram fades]
STANLEY: Who's he?
KAI: Poet Man.
[the doors slowly swing open]
STANLEY: I take it we're going in?
ZEV: Of course.
STANLEY: Of course ...
[they walk into the giant chamber]
STANLEY: Uh, who's Poet Man?
KAI: A poet, perhaps ...
[inside, the Poet Man hologram reappears]
POET MAN: [reciting poetry] Days filled with whispers and murmur and moans, nights filled with longings and leavings alone.
[he suddenly turns serious]
POET MAN: You know, it was my fault after all. I knew we were leaving Brunnis. The sun was dying. But we had this farewell party and I did a few Kaboo flowers and ... well, you know those Kaboo! [laughs] Boom! One too many and "whoo hoo!" You wake up four days later and the whole planet's empty! [snickers to himself] And then like the singing of a sad silent song, you awaken from slumber ... and everyone's gone.
[he laughs again, then disappears]


[the crew continues inspecting the Memory Chambers]
KAI: I remember pictures of this place. It is a type of library.
[they enter a room, and the hologram of the librarian appears]
HOLO WOMAN: Welcome, friends, to the Index Chamber. In this place, you may experience for yourself the many wonders of life's rich bounty here on Brunnis.
[she is again replaced by the hologram of Poet Man]
POET MAN: Oh, enough of her! Come on in, pick a door!
[he fades away, as Zev looks around at all the doors in the room]
ZEV: Maybe we can find something here that will help you.
KAI: I do not seek help.
ZEV: What do all these symbols mean?
[she accidentally steps on a lever in front of the door marked with an hourglass symbol, causing the librarian to re-appear]
HOLO WOMAN: History. The dust that shall be remembered--
[she is again replaced by Poet Man]
POET MAN: Dust! Who wants to be remembered by their dust?!
[Zev steps off the lever, and Poet Man disappears, then Stanley steps on the lever in front of the door marked with two crossed plants, and the librarian re-appears]
HOLO WOMAN: Nature. Rich bounty of life.
[she is again replaced by Poet Man]
POET MAN: Nature! Oh, please! Pound nails in my head, but don't ask me to frolic in the wilderness kissing a duck!
[Stanley quickly steps off the lever to stop the hologram]
STANLEY: So which one?
ZEV: That one ...
[he walks towards the door marked with the symbol of a bird with wings outstretched]
KAI: The bird is the Brunnen-G symbol for life.
[the librarian re-appears]
HOLO WOMAN: Life, the sweetest mystery.
[she is again replaced by Poet Man]
POET MAN: Mystery? Ha! Life is the sweetest misery!
ZEV: How does it work? I'm going to bring you back to life, Kai.
POET MAN: That's all I have left here ...
KAI: Zev, that symbol is not just life.
POET MAN: I still can't believe they could've forgotten about me ... Did not even one person care?
[Zev presses a symbol on the wall near the door]
POET MAN: We are talking about a superior understanding of contemplative art! Not that they ever recognized the beauty of my work! But do they, can they realize the value of their loss?
[the bird suddenly comes to "life" and flies to the middle of the room]
POET MAN: Is this a test? I mean, they did not have the right to leave without me, and they will pay for their loss! That's why I'm talking to you, I am the man! Brunnis is my planet now!
[the bird suddenly surrounds Zev, leaving her unable to move]
ZEV: Kai! Aah!
[she suddenly turns into energy and is pulled behind the door, which does not open]
KAI: I remember ... That symbol means "burst of life."
STANLEY: What's the difference?
KAI: I do not know. We should follow her.
STANLEY: We? Don't look at me, pal. She likes you.
[Kai steps on the lever, which replays the previous holograms of the librarian and Poet Man, while the bird again sucks him in behind the door]
STANLEY: Hey, wait a sec! What'm I supposed to do?


[Zev wakes up in an empty room that appears to be in the middle of a spiralling galaxy]
HOLO WOMAN: [from off camera] Welcome, friend. You have chosen a glorious path. Our experiences become our memories. The remembered events of our lives remain potent, influencing us far beyond their actual time. We re-live them always ...
[Zev sees memories of her parents rejecting her and putting her in an orphanage]
HOLO WOMAN: [from off camera] These memories are your history, and as such, they cannot be changed. But you have chosen your own future. Here in this chamber, your suffering ends, and your burst of life begins.
[Kai appears to her as a dance partner in an ornate ballroom, but this scenario is eventually revealed to be an illusion, as she wakes up to find herself and Kai restrained on two tables]
ZEV: Kai, what is this?
KAI: I believe it is the burst of life.
[Poet Man suddenly appears on a video monitor positioned above the two tables]
POET MAN: "Burst" was the key word there. Life burst. Bubble burst. Bladder burst. See? Meaning is for sale, friends.
[saws suddenly appear at the end of Kai's table]
POET MAN: And you just bought it ...
[the screen changes to the librarian]
HOLO WOMAN: Citizen, you have chosen death. And through it, the gift of eternal life.


[the saws are spinning and moving towards the table]
HOLO WOMAN: Your death will not be quick. It will be played out to allow your thoughts, your knowledge, your memory to spill out at a rate that can be properly absorbed. But you will feel no pain, embraced as you are in the burst of life!
[the screen changes back to Poet Man]
POET MAN: So, you're on the slab and you've chosen to be sliced in two! Congratulations. I thought about taking the razor ride, but ... [laughs] No! They don't deserve my memory in their library of little minds!


[the saws are inching closer as Poet Man continues to pontificate on the screen]
POET MAN: Eternal life? Uh, not exactly. That's a sales job. It's just blades and bone and blood, friend. You're gonna be nothing but data on a disk, that no one will ever care about.
ZEV: Kai! Noo!!
[the saws cut him in half up to the chest, then a light begins scanning his face as another mechanism places a blank CD into a machine]
ZEV: [begins to cry]
[the saws start up again, and cut all the way through his head, until both sides of his body fall to the ground]
ZEV: Kai!!


[the CD with Kai's memory is taken away to be catalogued, as the voice of the librarian plays]
HOLO WOMAN: Two together, to share the burst of life with another is the greatest gift. And so it shall be.
[saws now appear at the end of Zev's table, as Poet Man's message about bone and blood replays]


[Giggerota (a "stowaway" on the Lexx) has entered the Memory Catacombs and diverted the main power supply, cutting the power to the saws ... unfortunately, it has also shut down the machinery that was keeping the sun of Brunnis from going supernova]
[cut to Stanley (badly wounded in a fight with Giggerota) as he stumbles into the room containing all of the CDs, and accidentally touches one of them, causing an image of the Time Prophet to appear (as if the CD is replaying a memory)]
TIME PROPHET: Stanley Tweedle!
BRUNNEN-G CITIZEN: [from off camera] Stanley Tweedle? Time Prophet, my name is not Stanley ... Tweedle? My name is, uh--
TIME PROPHET: It matters not! By seeing into the Future-Past, I know that five thousand years after your death, Stanley Tweedle will visit the Brunnen-G Memory Catacombs. He will touch your memory!
BRUNNEN-G CITIZEN: [from off camera] Uh, but my question was about the mineral deposits on Aurileon-4 ...
TIME PROPHET: Forget about the mineral deposits! This is important! Stanley, you are the only one who can save Kai and Zev!
BRUNNEN-G CITIZEN: [from off camera] Who?
TIME PROPHET: You must go to Section 83, Row 249, Block 35. There you will find a stone cover. Lift it!
BRUNNEN-G CITIZEN: [from off camera] Uh, but--
[the memory ends, and Stanley slowly gets up]
STANLEY: Section 83. Row 249. Block Thirty ... thirty ...
[he pauses, then goes back and touches the CD again]
STANLEY: Five! Alright, alright ...


[Stanley finds the right stone cover, opens it, and looks down a deep hole]
ZEV: Who is it? Who's there?
[the camera reveals that the hole actually leads to the room where Zev is restrained on the table]



Poet Man's only appearance was in Episode 2 of Season 1 ("Super Nova"). The plot involves Zev searching for the planet Brunnis - Kai's long lost homeworld - in order to find a way to keep him alive. Once he and his crew arrive, they stumble upon the planet's Memory Catacombs, an expansive library which is deserted save for a couple of holograms left over from the evacuation of the planet.

Tim Curry plays "Poet Man", nothing more than a remnant of a once living human being, now serving as a macabre guide/curator for visitors of the ill-fated planet.

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