Monday, January 16, 2012

Case Study No. 0174: Angry Librarian

ANGRY LIBRARIAN
5:10
A frustrated state employee gives a spacey girl a hard time..

check out the other videos on tv12673 channel..some good funny stuff. Scenes from the new film 4th and Long..Thanks for watching!!
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Added: 5 years ago
From: tv12673
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[scene opens with a young female patron approaching an overweight male librarian who is sitting behind the front desk at a state college library]
PATRON: Hey, I have a question. Do you have, like, color ... printers?
LIBRARIAN: Yeah, we do. We have a color printer.
PATRON: Okay. Where are they?
[he points behind the desk]
LIBRARIAN: It's right there.
PATRON: There's none back here?
LIBRARIAN: Um, no. The color printer only prints from these two computers. Student computers don't go to that printer.
PATRON: So, I couldn't have, like, a page there ... go back there? Like, I couldn't send it?
LIBRARIAN: Um, no.
PATRON: Uh ... I need to get over there, because I have a color copy. It's for a statistics class, it's a graph. A pie graph.
LIBRARIAN: You have a color copy, and you wanted to bring it up here and make another copy of it?
PATRON: Yeah.
LIBRARIAN: So, just bring the piece of paper up here and I'll--
PATRON: Uh, no. It's not printed yet, it doesn't exist yet.
LIBRARIAN: Oh. Well then, that's gonna be a problem ... because it needs to exist before I can make a copy of it.
PATRON: So ... like you can't, there's no way, like, I could get a picture on a computer, and have it print out there?
LIBRARIAN: Well, what we could do, is you could pull the picture up on the computer--
PATRON: Okay.
LIBRARIAN: And load it onto a disk, and then you give me the disk--
PATRON: Floppy, or one of those hard things?
LIBRARIAN: Floppy. And then I would put it in this computer, and then I'd print it off.
PATRON: Okay ...
LIBRARIAN: Except I can't do that ... because we're not allowed to take your disk and put it in our computer, because it could put a bug in the system.
PATRON: What if it was your disk?
LIBRARIAN: You still could've gone over to that computer, loaded a nasty virus on it, just for spite, because you're angry with a faculty member, and then I would put it on the computer. They would know when it happened, and then I would get in trouble, because I bugged the whole system.
PATRON: What if you supervised me and the disk exchange, and watched and saw that I didn't put a virus?
LIBRARIAN: Well, I can't just be ... I mean, there's not, like, private customer service just for you. I'm an educator, and there are a lot of students here that require my services. And, y'know, I hafta man my post.
PATRON: But, what's your job? You're here for all students, but you don't actually serve any of them individually?
LIBRARIAN: I serve all of them ... a little bit, instead of every one of them a lot. I'm by myself, I'm the only one manning the post here.
PATRON: All you have to do is walk over there and make sure I don't put any "viruses" on a disk.
LIBRARIAN: I cannot leave my post. Who's supposed to walk over there with you? I've gotta stay here!
PATRON: It's not even busy! There are like three people in here!
LIBRARIAN: Well, three people is two more than I can handle if I'm giving one-on-one specialized service, okay? What about those other two people?
PATRON: What if we got an assistant to take me there and back here?
LIBRARIAN: Well, that would be great! Maybe you could talk the state government into funding us for a little more staff here, because I don't know if you noticed or not but there's just me. There's just me here runnin' this whole show. Y'know, maybe if I had a little help around here, y'know, but I don't. Maybe you should petition the governor, or the President of North Carolina to get us a little more tax money, so that we can hire somebody on. But, as of right now, the government doesn't care enough about education to wanna give every student an individual helper so they can make color copies, okay? So, excuse me if I can't cartwheel over to the computers and watch you load up some pictures of kitty cats so that you can make color copies for your refrigerator! Alright?
PATRON: It's a pie graph for my statistics class ... I don't like that tone!
LIBRARIAN: I don't care if it's kitty cats, pies, whatever you got. Um, you bring me a color picture of it, and I'll make another color picture of it with my color copier. But otherwise, there's really nothing I can do.
[he takes a piece of paper off the desk]
LIBRARIAN: I mean, do you wanna look in the manual right here? I got it right here.
[she reaches for the paper]
PATRON: Lemmee see the manual.
[he puts it back on the table, out of her reach]
LIBRARIAN: No. Um--
PATRON: You have, like, a manual?
LIBRARIAN: Well ... Staff only for the manual--
PATRON: Then why did you offer me the manual?
LIBRARIAN: I forgot for a second, alright? I've only been working here like four years. I forgot the policy for just, there's a lotta policies.
PATRON: Aren't you, like, supposed to help me? Isn't that your job?
LIBRARIAN: Um, I am helping you. In fact, I just answered, like, five questions. I gotta mark that on my chart ...
[he takes out his statistics sheet and writes it down]
LIBRARIAN: Five questions, right there.
PATRON: What chart is that?
LIBRARIAN: Thank you very much, for appreciating my services!

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From librarygarden.net:

Thanks to John V. Richardson and Ward Smith from UCLA who drew my attention to this "Angry Librarian" post from The Quattlebaum Comedy Troupe. How many "customer service" or service excellence mistakes does this librarian make?

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