Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Case Study No. 0165: 1952 Convention of Librarians

Martin and Lewis - Intro (librarian convention)
4:55
From April 27th, 1952 - Dean and Jerry try to entertain librarians, followed by a monologue Jerry attempts to do while lying on the floor.
Tags: dean martin jerry lewis colgate comedy hour
Added: 3 years ago
From: JillLovesJer
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[scene opens on a sign reading "Annual Convention of Librarians", as the camera zooms out to reveal a large group of librarians sitting around a podium, with one male librarian standing there preparing to speak]
MALE LIBRARIAN: Fellow librarians ...
[they all put their fingers to their lips and loudly shush him]
MALE LIBRARIAN: [quietly] Oh, I'm sorry ... I'm awfully sorry. Welcome to our 1952 librarians' convention.
[they all move their hands as if they're clapping (but without actually making any noise)]
MALE LIBRARIAN: I'm sure you remember our last convention. We had a jolly good time, didn't we?
[they all act like they're laughing (but again without making a sound)]
MALE LIBRARIAN: And this year, we have a grand surprise for you. As our guests, we have two wonderful entertainers. I'm very happy to present, those two wonderful comedians, the fabulous Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
[Jerry and Dean walk into the scene, as again the librarians "clap" their hands without making noise]
JERRY: [loudly] Uh, well, thank you very--
[they all shush him]
JERRY: Uh, we want--
[they all shush him again]
JERRY: But I only want--
[they all shush him again]
DEAN: Can't you get it through their, through your little head that ...
[he puts his hands on his partner's shoulders and raises the volume of his voice]
DEAN: [yelling] They want you to keep quiet! Keep quiet!
[Jerry looks around the room, confused that the librarians have no reaction to Dean's outburst]
JERRY: Yeah, but they didn't yell--
[they all shush him again]
DEAN: [yelling] That means keep quiet, you shouldn't yell in a library!
JERRY: Yeah, but when you said--
[they all shush him again]
DEAN: [yelling] Do you get it yet?!
JERRY: But I was--
[they all shush him again]
JERRY: He--
[they all shush him again]
JERRY: I--
[they all shush him again, as Jerry begins dancing to the rhythm of the "Shh! Shh! Shh!" sound]
JERRY: [singing] We been shuffling along ...
[Dean grabs him and shakes him]
DEAN: Will you stop it?
JERRY: [yelling] Aw shut up! I'm only talkin' ... We came here to entertain you! I'm gettin' outta here!
[he turns to leave]
DEAN: No, you ... C'mere, look now.
JERRY: Well, they keep yelling at me everytime I talk ...
DEAN: Alright, we're gonna entertain them. I'm gonna sing about three or four thousand songs, and then--
JERRY: Well, ya can't, because I gotta get outta here! According to my alarm-clock Dick Tracy watch radio, I gotta get outta here because the alarm is gonna go off and I gotta get a tattoo!
DEAN: Gotta get a tattoo?
JERRY: Yes, I hafta hurry downtown right away.
DEAN: Why don't you get your ears pierced while you're there?
JERRY: [laughs] That's a funny one ...
[the alarm on Jerry's wristwatch goes off]
DEAN: Turn it off, turn it off!
JERRY: Well, the alarm is ... Here, alright, the alarm.
[they all shush him again]
JERRY: [to the librarians] I can't help it, the alarm!
[the alarm gets louder, and the librarians get more agitated, until they finally throw both men out of the library]

---

From amazon.com:

THE COLGATE COMEDY HOUR, which ran from 1950 through 1955, was a wildly popular weekly variety show filled with funny monologues and comic sketches. And it was broadcast live. The rotating roster of hosts included such entertainment giants as Fred Allen, Eddie Cantor, Abbott & Costello, and Jimmy Durante, but best remembered are the shows hosted by the white-hot comedy team of DEAN MARTIN and JERRY LEWIS. Here on 10 DVDs is all the funny stuff from all 28 shows hosted by Martin & Lewis at their spontaneous best, unencumbered by plot-heavy scripts, rigid film schedules, or elaborate production numbers.

[...]

Disc Five 4/27/52 – Jerry upsets a librarians' convention, while Dean spoofs "The Continental" and does a Brando impersonation. With Danny Arnold.

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