Overdue library fine - Lead Balloon - BBC sitcom
Rick Spleen tries to get out of paying an over due library book fine with little success. Hilarious short from BBC sitcom Lead Balloon.
Tags: BBC Jack Dee Rick Spleen Comedy Funny Sitcom Lead Balloon Laugh Joke Short Free Video
Added: 5 years ago
[scene opens with Rick Spleen entering the public library, where (after looking at a poster of his face up on the wall) he walks up to the young female librarian (long brown hair, glasses, brown blouse) at the front desk]
RICK: Hi ...
[she slowly turns in her chair and faces him (a bored look on her face)]
RICK: Is, uh, Fiona around?
FIONA: I'm Fiona.
RICK: [pause] Oh, right ... Is there another Fiona works here?
FIONA: No. Why?
[he pauses, then tries to laugh it off]
RICK: Nah, I just wondered, y'know. Sometimes that happens ... Get two people with the same name working at the same place. That can cause confusion.
[he shakes his head]
RICK: Uh, I'm Rick. Uh,Rick Spleen. I-I'm doing the thing here on the Seventeenth, to save the library--
[she smiles (her demeanor immediately changing to a more friendly tone)]
FIONA: Oh, you're Michael's friend!
RICK: Well, I ... I'm just gonna do the--
FIONA: I thought I recognized you from all the posters ...
RICK: Yeah, well, that's actually not the official poster. I'm gonna do something much better, but uh--
FIONA: Well, it's very good of you to come and help us out.
RICK: Well, I'm just doing my bit.
RICK: Oh, and, um ...
[he reaches into his plastic bag and takes out a childrens' book]
RICK: I, uh, I found this at home so I thought I'd better bring it back in. Sorry.
[she takes the book and giggles]
[she scans the book and begins typing on the computer]
RICK: So, um, is it gonna be okay if I move some of the furniture? I wanna put all the chairs and tables to the back, maybe black out the windows. I suppose there's gonna be quite a lot of people, actually ...
FIONA: There's an overdue charge of six pounds to pay on that.
RICK: [pause] Sorry?
FIONA: That'll be six pounds, please.
RICK: Nah, I was just thinking under the circumstances you could waive the, uh, fine.
FIONA: Oh, I understand, but there is an overdue charge of six pounds.
RICK: Yeah, I know, I'm just saying--
FIONA: Fifteen pence a day, to a maximum of six pounds.
RICK: Yes, but considering the fact that I'm gonna be doing a show for you--
FIONA: I'm sorry, we can't make exceptions.
RICK: Not even for someone who's gonna be saving your library?
FIONA: No ...
[she remains polite but firm, as they both just stare at each other for a moment]
RICK: You didn't even know that was missing!
FIONA: You would've had a letter at the time ...
RICK: I didn't get a letter at the time!
FIONA: You waited ten years to return this ...
RICK: I didn't wait ten years to return it, I just forgot that we had it at home!
FIONA: Please don't raise your voice.
RICK: I'm just saying I forgot that I had it at home, it's not like I was sitting around going--
[he grabs the book out of her hands, then starts waving it around while talking in a sarcastic tone]
RICK: "Ha ha ha, we got the library book!"
FIONA: Please don't snatch!
RICK: Oh forget it, I'll take the bloody thing home ...
[he turns to leave]
FIONA: I must warn you that if you remove a library book without checking it out, that is viewed as theft.
RICK: Alright, here ...
[he drops the book loudly on her desk]
RICK: I'll give it back.
[she pushes the book across the desk back towards him, addressing him tersely]
FIONA: I can only accept the book when you pay the outstanding fine.
RICK: Great ... Well, you know what? Let's talk about this again on the Seventeenth, yeah?
[he turns and leaves]
RICK: When I've got an audience!
Lead Balloon (Series 2, Episode 9)
Original Airdate: 29 November 2007
Rick is caught speeding and risks a driving ban if he gets three more points on his driving licence. His attempts to persuade Mel and Marty to admit they were driving his car prove futile and he believes there is no hope, until he learns Magda has recently passed her driving test. Michael convinces Rick to appear at an event to save the local library but later informs him his appearance has been cancelled because Rick refused to pay a 6-pound fine on a late book and threatened the librarian (played by Matilda Zeigler). As a result of his threats Rick has to attend an anger management class.