Thursday, August 21, 2014

Case Study No. 1522: Peterkin

Rod, Jane and Freddy - The Dragon in the Dungeon
The tale of Princess Angelica, Peterkin the librarian and the brave but boring knight, Sir Brian de Bolfrey. One of them will kill the dragon, to win the hand of the beautiful princess but who will it be?
Tags: Rod Jane Freddy
Added: 4 years ago
From: lisaglitters
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[scene opens outside of a fairy tale-style castle]
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a castle.
[cut to the princess inside the castle, looking bored]
NARRATOR: She could never marry, because many years ago, a wizard cast a spell on the owner of the castle, a wicked baron, and turned him into a dragon. The story goes that should the princess marry, the dragon in the dungeon would carry her off and eat her. Unless, of course, someone could kill the dragon.
[the princess sighs, then starts singing to herself]
ANGELICA: Ah, me! Fiddle dee dee! Does anybody want to marry me? Ah, me! Ah me ah me ah me! It doesn't matter who, anyone will do!
[cut to a closeup of the princess, as she continues singing]
ANGELICA: A knight in shining armor, this is all I ask ... He's got to kill the dragon, not such a dreadful task! It's very very boring, living all alone! Where have all the knights gone, I'm always on my own!
[she spins around]
ANGELICA: Ah, me! Ah, me! Fiddle dee dee!
[she slumps down in her chair, then cut to a young male librarian (red frizzy hair, red and grey tunic) sitting in the castle's library, transcribing a parchment]
NARRATOR: The only person the princess ever saw was Peterkin the Librarian, who did love the princess, but was much more interested in books than dragons ...
[he goes to pick up a book, when a gust of wind from outside blows a wadded up piece of paper out of the crack in the window (causing all the parchments on his desk to fly around)]
[a bell rings, then cut back to the princess' chamber, as Peterkin enters (humming while carrying a stack of books)]
ANGELICA: Oh Peterkin, not more books!
PETERKIN: Ah well, I brought you two books of poetry, and a book all about chivalry. Y'know, all the good deeds the knights do ...
[he looks at her dress]
PETERKIN: Oh Angelica, you do look lovely today! Oh, if only--
ANGELICA: Oh Peterkin, you know you can't marry me! You'd never be able to kill the dragon ... Although if you spent more time practicing with your spear and your lance and things instead of squatting over all your books all the time, you might stand a chance! Anyway, you're not a knight.
PETERKIN: I'm not sure I want to be a knight! I mean, what's the point of knocking people off horses? What good does it do?
ANGELICA: Well, it proves that you're brave!


[after Sir Brian appears and impresses Angelica with his tales of chivalry, Peterkin winds up moping in the library (as he sings solemnly to himself)]
PETERKIN: So what? So what? I couldn't care a jot! This bragging boring type, he talks a lot of trype! Just see, just see, that all this chivalry ... doesn't mean a thing! The man can't even sing!
[he gets up out of his chair, then cut to a closeup of his face (as he continues singing)]
PETERKIN: But she's found her knight in armor, it's very clear to see ... He's going to kill the dragon, so that's the end of me! He's strong and he is fearless, there's nothing more to say! A knight in shining armor will always win the day!
[he sighs and walks over towards his desk]
PETERKIN: Ah, me! Ah, me! Chivalry ...
[the wadded up piece of paper once again flies out of the crack in the window (blowing more parchments around the room), but this time he picks it up ... he stops and actually uncrumples the paper, reading it over]
PETERKIN: Wait a minute ... This is the spell! Oh, it's been here all these years!
[he looks around the room excitedly]
PETERKIN: Where's my dictionary?
[cut to Sir Brian preparing to enter the chamber where the dragon lies]
BRIAN: A broadsword and a strong arm, m'dear!
BRIAN: Ha ha!
[Peterkin runs into the room]
PETERKIN: Angelica! Angelica, you'll never believe it!
ANGELICA: Not now, Peterkin!
PETERKIN: But I've found it--
ANGELICA: Peterkin!
[she hands Sir Brian his shield]
ANGELICA: Good luck, Sir Brian!
BRIAN: Thank you, m'dear!
BRIAN: Stand well back!
[Sir Brian enters the chamber, but it soon sounds like he's losing the battle]
ANGELICA: Peterkin, do something!
[he looks down at the spell written on the paper]
PETERKIN: I will! I'm off to the kitchen!
[he turns to leave]
ANGELICA: The kitchen?! This is no time for eating!
PETERKIN: But I've got to get something!
[he leaves, then Brian exits the chamber (with a broken sword and covered in soot)]
ANGELICA: Oh, Sir Brian!
[he coughs up some more soot]
BRIAN: That dragon! Never again!
ANGELICA: Sir Brian, did you ... did you kill the dragon?
[he wanders around the room, seemingly in a daze from the battle]
BRIAN: What?
[Peterkin returns, holding a soup bone in his hand]
PETERKIN: Right, time I had a go at this dragon, isn't it?
ANGELICA: Peterkin, what are you doing?
[he holds up the bone]
PETERKIN: Well, some of us need shields and swords and battle axes, and some of us have got a bit of brains!
PETERKIN: Right! I shant be long!
[he enters the chamber]
BRIAN: No, boy!
[Angelica screams, as the knight tries to hold her back]
BRIAN: Oh dear, oh no. It's not a pretty sight, my dear. Don't look, don't look ... Come away, we shall both miss him, I'm sure.
[Peterkin comes out of the chamber carrying a small dog]
PETERKIN: All over!
BRIAN: What?
ANGELICA: Peterkin!
PETERKIN: Oh, what?
[he holds up the dog]
PETERKIN: That's the dragon!
ANGELICA: Oh, Peterkin ...
PETERKIN: You see, the old wizard who turned the wicked baron into a dragon meant to turn him into a dog. Only he got the words mixed up! I just read out the right spell, gave the dragon the bone and, well, you see? Books do have their uses after all!
ANGELICA: Oh, Peterkin ... my hero!
[everyone starts to sing]
ALL: Hooray! The dragon is dead, the dragon is dead, the dragon is dead! Hooray! We've got a doggie instead, and all the rest is history!
[cut to a closeup of the knight]
BRIAN: I've seen a lot of action in me time, but nothing as extraordinary as that! There's something to be said, for all those books you've read ... Maybe you and I should have a chat!
[as Angelica looks on, Sir Brian knights Peterkin]
BRIAN: Come on ... No no, kneel there.
[he gets down on one knee, and Brian places the bent sword once upon each of his shoulders]
BRIAN: Alright, good ... Arise, Sir Peterkin!
BRIAN: Ha ha!
ANGELICA: Oh, Sir Peterkin! My knight!
[she begins to sing]
ANGELIC: I've found a knight to marry, he's wonderful and wise! All these years I've known him, I didn't realize ... Took a lot of courage, waiting every year! It must have been frustrating, Peterkin my dear!



Rod, Jane and Freddy: Season 4, Episode 4
The Dragon in the Dungeon (27 Jan. 1988)
TV Episode - 10 min - Family | Music

Once upon a time there was a princess in a castle who couldn't marry, for all her suitors had to fight the dragon in the dungeon first. Sir Brian is the latest one to try, but her loyal librarian Peterkin may have found a way to defeat the dragon.

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