Friday, March 21, 2014

Case Study No. 1316: Unnamed Female Librarian (mythorfact100)

why: librarians? #1
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Tags: library books fact myth hat
Added: 3 years ago
From: mythorfact100
Views: 43

[scene opens with a young girl portraying a librarian (red glasses, hair in a bun) as she sits behind a desk with a piece of paper reading "Library" taped to the front]
PATRON: [from off camera] Um, hi ...
[a young girl walks past a chair with another paper sign (reading "Book Return") taped to it, and approaches the librarian]
PATRON: I'm looking for a book, "The Hobbit" ...
[she points to a book on the desk]
PATRON: Oh, it's ... Can I just take it?
[she reaches for the book, but the librarian slams her hand down on top of it]
PATRON: Uh, why not?
LIBRARIAN: [pause] Because it's not ready!
[she gives her a condescending look, then proceeds to "stamp" another book]
PATRON: Um, it's perfectly ready!
[she flips open the book]
PATRON: The cover's fine, the pages look great--
[the librarian slams the book shut]
LIBRARIAN: Um, excuse me, can you not touch the books?!
PATRON: I need the book! I thought the whole point of a library is to touch the books?
LIBRARIAN: [calmly] Yeah, well, not that one ...
PATRON: Well, I need this one. I have a huge English project due!
[the librarian (not even looking at the patron anymore} re-arranged some books on the floor behind her]
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] Well, you can't have it ...
PATRON: But I need it!
[the librarian stops and gives her a fake smile]
LIBRARIAN: That's great, honey. Um ...
[she hands the patron a bag of candy]
LIBRARIAN: Why don't you skedaddle along and take your chocolates?
PATRON: I don't need chocolate, I need a book!
LIBRARIAN: Well, you can't have it ...
PATRON: Then I'll go to some other library ... Thank you for your "service!"
[she storms off, as the librarian grabs a bottle of disinfectant and sprays the area around her desk]
LIBRARIAN: I hate teenagers, and they smell!
[she sighs in frustration, then starts to caress the book and speaks to it in "baby talk"]
LIBRARIAN: Oh, she touched you?
[she hugs the book]
LIBRARIAN: Oh, my poor baby! It'll be okay ... it'll be okay!

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