Thursday, March 20, 2014

Case Study No. 1313: Maureen DeChico (student library worker)

katy Perry SNL elmo bounce!!!
Katy Perry wears the the elmo shirt mocking Sesame Street....and bounces around looking hot!!!! Gotta love her!

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Katy "Too Bodacious for Little Kids" Perry used her stint on Saturday's SNL premiere to joke about the controversy over the dress she wore in a shelved guest spot on Sesame Street. Parents' panicked complaints about "too much cleavage" pushed the show's producers to pull the future Mrs. Russell Brand's kid-friendly version of her hit song "Hot N Cold." I still don't see what all the fuss was about, the girl's got some serious curves – what did they expect her to wear, a turtleneck? After a week of commentary firing back and forth about the video, Perry finally nabbed a chance to speak her peace...well, sort of.

Saturday night's premiere saw the return of SNL darling, Amy Poehler, and the talkshow sketch, Bronx Beat – basically two Bronx moms gabbing on a couch. Perry took the chance to step in as the show's guest, Maureen DeChico, a teenager who really developed over the summer. ("Kaboom!")

Like Perry, her spoof character is under fire for showing too much cleavage, but in this case she's been reading to the kids at the local library and there's been a "hullaballoo" about it. But unlike Perry's performance with Elmo, Miss DeChico is really giving them a reason to be worried – she's literally busting out of a deep cut Elmo t-shirt. If you take a look at the video of Perry's intended guest spot on Sesame Street, she's really dressed rather tamely and besides, "Who cares if kids are looking at boobs? Boobs feed babies."



Season 36: Episode 1
September 25th, 2010

Bronx Beat with Betty & Jodi

Summary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with a provocatively dressed teenager (Katy Perry) who volunteers as a children's story reader at the local library.
Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz

Betty Caruso: Alright, let's get to our first guest.
Jodi Deitz: Oh god, that's right. We have a guest.
Betty Caruso: Alright. There's been a lot of hub-bub, a lotta hullabaloo ...
Jodi Deitz: Hullabaloo is right!
Betty Caruso: Hullabaloo is right, hello!
Jodi Deitz: Hullabaloo, hullabaloo!
Betty Caruso: Hullabaloo down at the public library about this girl. She's sixteen, she volunteers reading books to kids.
Jodi Deitz: Oh, that's wonderful.
Betty Caruso: Yeah.
Jodi Deitz: And y'know what? She used to babysit for me, she is adorable. Let's bring her out here, Maureen DeChico!
Betty Caruso: Here she comes!
[Katy Perry comes bouncing out, wearing a short skirt, glasses, pigtails, and a low-cut Elmot t-shirt]
Maureen DeChico: Hey everybody! Hey, Misses Dietz, how are you? How's Joe Junior?
Betty and Jodi: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ...
Jodi Deitz: Oh my goodness, oh ... Holy moley, Maureen. You have really developed over the summer.
Betty Caruso: Yeah, developed. Honey, you've exploded.
Jodi Deitz: Kaboom! Those are some bazooms.
Betty Caruso: Kapow!
Jodi Deitz: Kablooey!
Betty Caruso: Bing bang boom.
Jodi Deitz: Va va vooey.
Betty Caruso: Va va vooey, ba ba booey!
Jodi Deitz: Ba ba booey! I hardly knew ye ... Maureen, what the hell happened to your shirt?
Maureen DeChico: Oh ...
Betty Caruso: Looks like today's show is brought to you by the number 38 and the letter double-D!
Maureen DeChico: Well, I guess I-I developed over the summer ...
Jodi Deitz: [laughs] You guess? Look at Elmo, his head's all stretched out!
Maureen DeChico: It is?
Jodi Deitz: Yeah!
Betty Caruso: Yeah. You remember when Jerry Lewis had to take all those steroids and his head blew up? That's what Elmo's head looks like right now!
Maureen DeChico: It does?
Betty Caruso: Yeah!
Jodi Deitz: Yeah. Lemmee tell you what you need to do, Maureen. Listen closely, tell your ma to take you down to Kohl's, and get yourself a good bra-rh.
Maureen DeChico: A good bra-rh?
Jodi Deitz: Yeah.
Maureen DeChico: Okay.
Betty Caruso: Okay? And ask for Paula.
Jodi Deitz: Paula!
Betty Caruso: She's a miracle worker!
Jodi Deitz: Unbelievable.
Betty Caruso: She doesn't even use a tape measurer.
Jodi Deitz: Mm-mmm.
Betty Caruso: She just walks around in a circle and eye-balls you. She's like a oracle.
Jodi Deitz: What're you, honey, are you a 32?
Betty Caruso: 32?
Jodi Deitz: Are you a 32?
Betty Caruso: Yeah, you a 32?
Jodi Deitz: What're you, a 32?
Maureen DeChico: Uh ...
Jodi Deitz: What're you, a double-D?
Betty Caruso: Double-D?
Jodi Deitz: You a double-D?
Betty Caruso: 2D?
Jodi Deitz: 3D?
Betty Caruso: Double-D? More like 3D!
Jodi Deitz: Ooh, tell me about it! With those glasses!
Betty Caruso: Cowabunga!
Jodi Deitz: Ay-yai-yai!
Betty Caruso: Ay-yai-yai-yai-yai ...
Maureen DeChico: Yeah, well, the library told me to wear some looser-fitting clothing. Um, it's so embarrassing.
Betty Caruso: Hey, listen to me. Never be embarrassed about your body.
Jodi Deitz: Never.
Betty Caruso: Never be embarrassed about your body.
Jodi Deitz: Never.
Betty Caruso: It's beautiful.
Jodi Deitz: Beautiful.
Betty Caruso: In France, everybody walks around with no shirt on whatsoever!
Jodi Deitz: Yeah.
Betty Caruso: Everyone! Boobies as far as the eye can see!
Jodi Deitz: It's a booby-ville!
Betty Caruso: La boobies! And y'know what, good for them! They know how to do things over there.
Jodi Deitz: Yeah.
Betty Caruso: I'm this close to moving to France, except that I can't speak the language and I hate the people.
Jodi Deitz: Also, y'know what? Who cares if kids are looking at boobs? Boobs feed babies, alright? Boobs feed babies! I turn on CSI the other night, and there's a dead guy with a worm in his eye! But we can't look at the tops of boobs? So dumb, America!
Betty Caruso: So dumb, so dumb, so dumb!
Jodi Deitz: Anyway ...
Betty Caruso: Y'know what? You do your thing at the library. The kids come for the boobs, they stay for the books, everybody wins!
Jodi Deitz: That's right!
Maureen DeChico: Oh my gosh! You're right! [starts bouncing] Yeah, yeah!
Jodi Deitz: No no no! Honey, don't bounce!
Betty Caruso: Don't bounce! No bouncing!
Jodi Deitz: Ya gotta cool it, Maureen.
Betty Caruso: Cool it, Maureen.

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