Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Case Study No. 1291: Sandy Piper and Cynthia Brass

doctors 16.11.10_01 The Stripper And The Librarian
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[scene opens in a public library, as a young female librarian (brown hair in a ponytail, glasses, pink sweater) at the front desk hands a book to a young male patron]
SANDY: I love this, "She Walks in Beauty." That's my favorite ... We have a poetry reading group on a Thursday, if you're interested.
[an older female librarian (blonde hair, low-cut white blouse, blue sweater, long brown skirt) walks up from behind and puts her arm around Sandy]
CYNTHIA: I'm more of a Pam Ayres fan, myself.
[the patron walks away without saying a word, as Sandy has a sad look on her face]
CYNTHIA: You having a moment?
[she quickly shakes her head]
SANDY: No no, I'm fine.
CYNTHIA: Y'know what "fine" stands for, don't you? "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional" ... Oh, cheer up love. You never know, next person who walks through that door might just be the love of your life.
SANDY: Fat chance ...
[Cynthia turns and leaves, then Sandy stands up and takes off her glasses (staring at something off-camera, as if mesmerized)]

[...]

[flashback to the night before, as Sandy walks into a bar (cleaning her glasses) and sees a male stripper performing for a bachelorette party]
[cut to a closeup of Sandy's face, as she puts on her glasses and realizes that the stripper is her boyfriend Danny Fox ... he turns and notices her as she starts to leave, then quickly picks up his clothes and chases after her]
DANNY: No! Oh please, wait!
[cut to the entranceway of the bar, as Danny (in a g-string while putting his shirt back on) grabs her by the shoulder]
DANNY: Please Sandy, just let me explain!
SANDY: Explain? Explain what? Look at you!
DANNY: I'm sorry! I wanted to tell you the truth ...
SANDY: I have never been so humiliated in my whole life! That's all the people I work with in there!
DANNY: Please--
SANDY: Stay away from me!
[she leaves]

[...]

[Danny is at Sandy's doorstep, handing her a bouquet of flowers and pleading his case]
SANDY: You think you can turn up here with a bunch of flowers and that makes everything alright?
DANNY: Just give me another chance, please.
SANDY: All that stuff about liking art and poetry ... Well, last night's performance was very artistic!
DANNY: It's only a job.
SANDY: The way those women were touching you ... You were enjoying it!
DANNY: I wasn't ... I was doing it for you.
SANDY: For me?
DANNY: I mean, I was only doing it to earn some money so I could take you away somewhere. Somewhere romantic.
SANDY: So you could get me into bed?
DANNY: No! I care about you ...
SANDY: Danny, if you cared about me, you wouldn't have lied to me ... You're a cad, and a bounder!
[she shoves the flowers back into his chest]
SANDY: Don't ever come here again!

[...]

[cut to back inside the library, as Cynthia Brass is checking out a book for a patron at the front desk, when she notices Sandy walk in]
CYNTHIA: Morning!
SANDY: Morning ...
[with a depressed look on her face, Sandy opens a book on the desk ... only to find a picture of "The Naked Cowboy" clipped from a magazine slipped inside (with the word "Danny" written across it in magic marker)]
[cut to a closeup of Sandy's face, as she grimaces and then looks over at two female library workers in the background giggling]
CYNTHIA: Ignore them, love, they're just jealous ... He did have a nice bum, though.
[Sandy stares at her angrily]
CYNTHIA: Oh, I take it you didn't know he was a--
SANDY: He said he was an accountant.
CYNTHIA: Right ... I think the only thing he was cashing up last night were the fivers in his knickers.
[she starts to cry]
SANDY: I can't believe I fell for it ...
CYNTHIA: Oh, there sweetheart.
[she hands her a tissue]
CYNTHIA: Here, love. Oh ... you really did like him, didn't you?
[she nods, then composes herself]
SANDY: I might work on the computer for a bit, do those additions to the catalog. Is that alright?
CYNTHIA: Of course, love ...
[she turns to leave, then stops]
SANDY: If anyone asks about last night ...
CYNTHIA: I'll tell them to mind their own business.
[she leaves, as Cynthia opens the book and stares at the picture]
CYNTHIA: Ooh ...

[...]

[Cherry Malone, a nurse at Mill Health Centre, is attending to Danny]
CHERRY: So why's your girlfriend so upset?
DANNY: Because I didn't tell her I was a stripper.
CHERRY: Why not?
DANNY: I was embarrassed.
CHERRY: You didn't seem shy last night.
DANNY: That's different. Y'know, when I'm doing a gig, I can pretend to be someone else. It's just an act.
CHERRY: Well, if it is just an act, why not tell her?
DANNY: Because, because she's old-fashioned ... Oh, who am I trying to kid? I was ashamed. I wanted her to think that I was intelligent. Now I've ruined everything.
CHERRY: Now you haven't ... How did you meet?
DANNY: She works in the library. I've never taken out so many books in my life!
[she laughs]
DANNY: Everytime I tried to talk to her, I'd end up bottling it. And then when we did get talking, it turned out that we had things in common.
CHERRY: Like?
DANNY: Well, literature. The classics?
CHERRY: What, like ... "Bridget Jones"?
[they laugh]
DANNY: Not exactly. Sandy likes the romantic poets. Byron, Keats, Shelley. She invited me to this poetry-reading evening.
CHERRY: Oh yeah?
DANNY: Not like that ...
[she laughs]
DANNY: Sandy's different. She's shy, intelligent ... she's beautiful. Not that she knows it. She thinks that she's invisible, but I can't keep my eyes off her.
[he notices Cherry staring at him]
DANNY: What?
CHERRY: You've fallen for her.
DANNY: [pause] I've blown it, haven't I?
CHERRY: No you haven't. We all make mistakes ... Talk to her. She'll come round.

[...]

[Danny is standing outside of the "Library and Information Centre", mumbling to himself as he's holding a box of chocolates]
DANNY: Come on Danny, you can do this ...
[he finally drums up the courage to walk inside ... just as Cynthia is walking out]
CYNTHIA: Here, where do you think you're going?
DANNY: In ... In there, to see Sandy.
CYNTHIA: Oh, I don't think so, sunshine.
DANNY: What?
CYNTHIA: Hmm, I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
DANNY: You're Cynthia, aren't you?
CYNTHIA: Mm.
DANNY: Sandy's told me about you ... Says you're like a big sister.
CYNTHIA: That's right. I'm big, and I'm scary. So why don't you turn around and do on?
DANNY: No please, wait. I ... I just wanna talk to her.
CYNTHIA: Ha! Don't you think you've done enough damage after last night?
DANNY: It was a misunderstanding ...
CYNTHIA: Oh, please! So what, you were just fillin' in for a mate at the last minute, were ya? Oh, pull the other one!
DANNY: [pause] I just wanna apologize.
CYNTHIA: She doesn't want to hear it! So why don't you do the decent thing ...
[she shoves him]
CYNTHIA: And push off!
[he turns to leave, then she points at teh box of chocolates]
CYNTHIA: Oh, are those .... are those for Sandy?
DANNY: Yeah.
CYNTHIA: Well, I'll look after them for her.
[she motions towards them]
CYNTHIA: Come on ...
[he slowly hands her the box, then she waves him away]
CYNTHIA: Go on, soddle off!
[he leaves with a depressed look on his face, as she watches him leave before looking down at the box]
CYNTHIA: Ooh, my favorites ...
[she puts them under her jacket and walks off]

[...]

[after hearing about Danny's rejection, Cherry goes to the library (without his knowledge) in order to plead with Sandy on his behalf]
CHERRY: Listen Sandy, just give him a chance to explain. He's not the man that you think he is.
SANDY: You don't even know him.
CHERRY: Trust me, he's not the love-'em and leave-'em type. He's--
[Cynthia enters enters the scene]
CHERRY: He's shy.
CYNTHIA: Shy, oh! Should've seen him last night in his trolleys, grinding away.
CHERRY: He really cares about you.
SANDY: But ... he's never even kissed me. No, Cynthia's right.
[she walks back to the front desk, as Cherry confronts Cynthia]
CHERRY: Thanks a bunch.
CYNTHIA: I'm just looking out for her.
CHERRY: Yeah, now two people that may have been made for each other are gonna throw it away over some silly stripshow.
CYNTHIA: It's not my fault!
[Cherry turns to leave the library, as Cynthia shouts after her]
CYNTHIA: Oh, sorry! Remind me, what does any of this got to do with you?
[cut to outside of the library, as Cherry is walking away when Cynthia runs out after her]
CYNTHIA: Oy, Nurse Cleverdick! I'm looking out for Sandy because she's ... well, inexperienced.
CHERRY: Well, maybe you're just a bit jealous?
CYNTHIA: Jealous? Oh, do me a favor! I've had more men than are named in the Bible, sweetheart ... Old and New Testament!
[Cherry smiles]
CYNTHIA: No, the thing about Sandy is she's into all this "true love waits" malarkey.
CHERRY: True ... oh, I see.
CYNTHIA: Oh blimey, is that ... is that the sound of a penny dropping?
CHERRY: So she's never actually ...
CYNTHIA: Not a sausage.
CHERRY: Mm.
CYNTHIA: Poor love. She spends her time reading these drippy love poems and novels with women with bonnets and ... bullet-proof knickers. So if our young Danny's gonna win her back, he's gonna have to do better than turning up with a box of Black Magic. If you ask me, I think he's all pecs and no imagination.
CHERRY: Hmmm, we're gonna have to help him with that ...
CYNTHIA: What do you mean?
CHERRY: You've just given me an idea.
[she reaches into her pocket and hands Cynthia a cell phone]
CHERRY: Here, call him. There's the number.
CYNTHIA: I'm not ringin' him!
CHERRY: Yes you are, and you're gonna start with an apology.

[...]

[cut back to the original scene in the library (where Sandy is staring at something off-camera), when the camera pans around to show that it's Danny walking through the door in an old-fashioned gentleman's jacket and tights (as "O mio babbino caro" plays in the background)]
SANDY: Danny!
[he walks up to her, reciting lines from Byron's "She Walks in Beauty"]
DANNY: She walks in beauty, like the night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright. Meets in her aspect and her eyes ...
[he undoes the bun in her hair and takes off her glasses, then they kiss (as Cherry and Cynthia look on from the background)]
SANDY: That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done!
DANNY: Sandy, about last--
[she kisses him again]
CYNTHIA: I don't care what you say, I think men should be more like library books. Long loan, short loan, ten minutes upstairs in the reference section ...
CHERRY: Cynthia, you're spoiling the moment ...

---

From imdb.com:

"Doctors" (BBC) - Season 12, Episode 144: The Stripper & the Librarian
Written by Tom Ogden
Original Air Date — 16 November 2010

Madeleine Herrington as Sandy Piper
Hettie Baynes as Cynthia Brass

A soft spoken librarian gets a shock when she discovers that her boyfriend is the male stripper at a hen party she's attending. Cherry steps in to try and put their love life back on track. Heston's back is even worse after Cherry's suggested help, so he turns to Elaine for some hands-on treatment. Jack and Tony start arguing over a sexy blonde girl they meet at the gym, with Jack particularly making a fool of himself.

---

From digitalspy.com:

In today's story of the day, Karen, Cherry, Jimmi and Simon have a drink in The Icon after work when suddenly stripper Danny Fox starts to strut his stuff. All except Jimmi are enjoying the view when Danny's act grinds to a halt as his librarian girlfriend Sandy Piper is appalled to see him like this. The next day, Danny is desperate to make amends and turns up at the library, but Sandy is unforgiving, thinking that Danny only wants to get her into bed, but he insists that's not true.

Danny sees Cherry at The Mill for the sores on his back caused by his baby oil. She recognises him from The Icon and Danny gets upset. Meanwhile, at the library, Sandy is comforted by big-sisterly colleague Cynthia Brass. Danny tells Cherry how in love he is with old-fashioned Sandy - he met her at a book club and wanted her to think he was intelligent. Danny returns to try once again to talk to Sandy but Cynthia stands in his way. He tells Cherry who goes to see Sandy herself, before teaming up with Cynthia with a plan to reunite the two lovebirds ...

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