Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Case Study No. 1276: "Librarians and the dangers they pose to a utopian society"

librarians high school satire
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Tags: librarians highschool satire
Added: 3 years ago
From: livelongjack
Views: 41

["Librarians: and the dangers they pose to a utopian society" appears on screen]
["No games???" appears on screen]
[scene opens with a male student playing a Flash game on the computer in the school library, when another male student (pretending to be the librarian) walks in]
LIBRARIAN: Excuse me, I ... What the fuck are you doing?
MALE STUDENT 1: Uh, I'm playing games ... it's educational!
LIBRARIAN: I don't care if it's educational, this is social studies class!
[cut to another shot of the librarian yelling at the student]
LIBRARIAN: What the hell, this isn't ... you're not supposed to have fun! This is social studies class!
[he slaps the student on top of the head]
LIBRARIAN: Get down and do twenty push-ups right now!
[the student starts doing push-ups, as the librarian sits on his back]
LIBRARIAN: Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine--
[cut to the student getting up off the floor]
LIBRARIAN: Get your ass up and go to the principal's office!
LIBRARIAN: And tell him, if he doesn't give you detention, I'm showing all the faculty the pictures of him at the party last night! Now go!
[the student runs off crying, then cut to a group of five students sitting at a table in the library, when the librarian enters the scene]
LIBRARIAN: [yelling] What the hell are you doing?!
FEMALE STUDENT 1: [quietly] We were just studying.
LIBRARIAN: Yeah, just studying my ass! Do you realize what you've done?
FEMALE STUDENT 1: Not really.
LIBRARIAN: You put a fifth chair at a four-chair desk!
FEMALE STUDENT 2: So, who gives a crap?
LIBRARIAN: Because it's my library! I do, and everybody has to do what I say, no matter how ridiculous it may seem! Now put the chair back where it belongs!
MALE STUDENT 2: But then where will I sit?
LIBRARIAN: At the table with the chair!
[he points at a smaller desk on the other side of the room]
MALE STUDENT 2: But then how will I study?
LIBRARIAN: Libraries aren't for studying, they're for following my rules!
[another student walks in]
MALE STUDENT 3: You're not the boss around here, the principal is ...
[he slaps the student across the face]
LIBRARIAN: Get me a Pepsi!
FEMALE STUDENT 3: Why should I do anything for you, okay? You need some Diet Pepsi!
[one of the students punches another one (who had his head down on the table, sleeping)]
MALE STUDENT 2: Wake up and get him a Pepsi!
[the student gets up and runs off]
LIBRARIAN: Tired of seein' your freakin' ugly stupid kid faces, now leave here!
[he turns towards the camera and grabs at it]
LIBRARIAN: No electronics in the library!
[the screen goes blank]

Awesome video editing
done by Joe

Special thanks to
Mr. Guc
for not failing us ...
and allowing our foul language

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