Case Study No. 0589: Mrs. Scott

Tarnnia- Overdue Books
3:00
The librarian calls Tarnnia because she has some overdue books, see what happens when Tarnnia explains why they are late.
Tags: tarnnia library prank call funny over due books karma sutra sexual positions sexy back man
Added: 4 years ago
From: iloveBTV
Views: 711

[scene opens with a female librarian (thick glasses, with tape over her nose to make it look like a pig's snout) putting a stack of books onto her desk]
LIBRARIAN: Hmmm ...
[she checks a list next to her phone]
LIBRARIAN: Tarnnia hasn't returned her books!
[she dials the phone, then cut to Tarnnia in her room when the phone rings]
TARNNIA: [into the phone] Hello?
LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Hello? Tarnnia?
[cut back to the library]
LIBRARIAN: It's Misses Scott!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room]
LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Y'know Tarnnia, you have a book here!
[cut back to the library, as the librarian checks her list]
LIBRARIAN: It's ... "Karma Sutra" books? I don't know what you kids are reading these days, but your book's about a month late, and I'm gonna need you to return that book as soon as possible, hon!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room]
TARNNIA: Um, well, I don't really know where they are. I kinda lost them. Um, been really busy, so I haven't really been into the library in awhile. I'm kinda busy, uh, I'm pretty much a superstar now.
[cut back to the library]
LIBRARIAN: A superstar?!
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Yeah, I don't know if you've ever heard of YouTube ...
LIBRARIAN: No, can't say that I have, hon.
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Well, y'know, I've got a big show on there ... Yeah, "IloveBTV."
LIBRARIAN: Like a TV show, like Martha Stewart?
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Way better ... I mean, way. Like pretty much, I'm too good for libraries.
LIBRARIAN: Excuse me? What did you just say? You're too good for libraries?!
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Yeah ...
LIBRARIAN: Tarnnia, you used to come in all the time and read to the children and you don't anymore!
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Yeah, but--
LIBRARIAN: And y'know, everybody in the book club's always asking me, "Where's Tarnnia?" And I don't know what to tell them!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room]
TARNNIA: Well, um, what I'm doing is ... I really feel that me reading to the children was detrimental. Um, because they've gotta learn to read by themselves, is what I decided.
[cut back to the library]
LIBRARIAN: Tarnnia, they're two. They're three years old. They cannot read on their own.
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Genius starts early ...
LIBRARIAN: Yeah, hon.
TARNNIA: [in voice over] If they were smart like me, they'd be superstars.
LIBRARIAN: Okay hon, well, y'know what? I'm gonna have to ask you to bring your Karma Sutra book back, and your "How to Find Your ... Sexy Man" book back, because they're overdue, and you know how strict I am about overdue books! Okay, hon? So I'm gonna have to have you bring them back ASAP!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room]
TARNNIA: Well, um, alright. Y'know, I'll see what I can do. I'll see if I can work it in my schedule. Um, I'm on YouTube a lot, so I'm pretty famous. So, I'll see what I can do.
[cut back to the library]
LIBRARIAN: And I'll charge you ten cents each day that your book is out! Now Tarnnia, I'm getting upset, and I'm having a hot flash, and I do not need this today, okay?
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Ten cents?
LIBRARIAN: Ten cents each day your book's late ... You have--
TARNNIA: [in voice over] Just ten cents?
LIBRARIAN: You have two books out, Tarnnia, so you do the math and it's twenty cents a day! Now I want those books back as soon as possible, lady!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room, as she's yawning, then back to the library]
LIBRARIAN: Y'know what, I've had enough of you and I'm hanging up right now! Goodbye!
[cut back to Tarnnia's room]
TARNNIA: I don't give a [beep]!

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