Charles deLuge and Books.mp4
3:50
An educational video for parents and other adult like people from book lover and self proclaimed worlds greatest Librarian, Charles deLuge (Mike D. Burke, CHET from COMMERCIALS EXTRAS). Join him as he tells of a disturbing epidemic.
Parents are welcome to watch this video before subjecting their kids to this sense of humor.
Tags: mike burke mike burke comedy funny saturday night live snl acting comedic acting auditions commercials extras bboyawesome
Added: 2 years ago
From: BBoyAwesome
Views: 52
["Charles deLuge and Books" appears on screen, as scene opens with a young male librarian (black hair, blue shirt, black pants, black tie) sitting on the floor reading a book, when he looks up and speaks directly to the camera in a thick "Thurston Howell III"-style accent]
CHARLES DELUGE: Mmm, hello ... Why, hello there! I'm Charles deLuge!
[he chuckles to himself]
CHARLES DELUGE: I was just finishing up reading HP Lovecraft ...
[he holds up the book he was reading, then laughs maniacally]
CHARLES DELUGE: Not, not really a comedic writer ... but he did write some weird stuff. His fiction's some weird shit!
[he chuckles to himself]
CHARLES DELUGE: Pardon my French.
[he puts the book down behind him]
CHARLES DELUGE: Now, while I've got you here, I'd like to talk to you about something important. I'd like to talk to you about your children. Your children ... and books.
[he breathes in deeply]
CHARLES DELUGE: Increasingly, I've heard some disturbing things ... I've heard, as I'm sure you have, that children are now hollowing out their books and putting tiny bags of crack in them.
[a canned laughtrack plays in the background, as he attempts to "compose" himself]
CHARLES DELUGE: Sorry to have to take a moment of silence, but ...
[he breathes in deeply, then continues]
CHARLES DELUGE: I was appalled when I heard this ... as I'm sure that you were. Such a terrible abuse of these sensitive creatures!
[he pauses]
CHARLES DELUGE: The books.
[the canned laughtrack plays again]
CHARLES DELUGE: Such misuse of such classical, classical beasts of literary ... iron!
[he turns and grabs a copy of Ellen Hopkins' "Crank"]
CHARLES DELUGE: "Crank" ...
[the canned laughtrack plays again]
CHARLES DELUGE: Now why would you put crack in "Crank?" I don't get it!
[he runs his hand over the cover]
CHARLES DELUGE: You see this? Paper. Beauty. Love.
[he leans in close to the camera]
CHARLES DELUGE: I would make love to "Crank" ... I would!
[he waves his finger at the camera, then puts the book down]
CHARLES DELUGE: Another example is ...
[he stops (as if trying to think of an example), then grabs another book from the shelf behind him]
CHARLES DELUGE: The complete works of Lewis Carroll!
[the canned laughtrack plays again]
CHARLES DELUGE: Now I know for years there have been rumors of his ... deranged sensibility, but there's no reason to contrariwise crack it open and slip crack inside of a rabbit hole-shaped square!
[the canned laughtrack plays again]
CHARLES DELUGE: Square-shaped rabbit hole ... Um, and put the crack bag in there and then write on it "For Alice!"
[he makes air quotes with his hands, then shakes his head before putting the book back behind him]
CHARLES DELUGE: Yes yes, and that ... is important.
[a female voice interrupts him, as someone reaches in from off camera and hands him a book]
ASSISTANT: [from off camera] Mister deLuge, we finished hollowing out this book as deep as we can for your crack, sir.
[he gives a nervous laugh, then grabs the book]
CHARLES DELUGE: Oh!
[he tries to hide the book behind his back, all the way smiling broadly at the camera (as if he's got nothing to hide)]
CHARLES DELUGE: Ahem. Um ... So, keep these classic literary beauties out of your childrens' hands, and let them find something else for their "drug needs."
[he makes air quotes with his hands again, then wags a finger at the camera]
CHARLES DELUGE: I'm Charles deLuge ... Goodnight.
[he smiles as the camera begins to pan back, then takes the book behind his back and opens it up ... when he gets a confused look on his face, and starts yelling to his assistant off camera]
CHARLES DELUGE: You, you forgot to put the crack in here! Where's the, the hollowed out ... there's no bag!
Cast
Mike D. Burke
Charles deLuge
Rachel Kelley
Assistant
Written, Directed and Edited
Mike D. Burke
Camera
Rachel Kelley
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