Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Case Study No. 0784: "Chainsaw" Sally Diamon

Tags: Librarians
Added: 3 years ago
From: deanxavier
Views: 140



Burril, Jimmyo (Director). Chainsaw Sally. United States: Redfield Arts, 2004.

Starring: April Monique Burril (Sally Diamon, Librarian)

There are shelves and some books so this must be a library. The sign on the wall in the opening scene says, "ssssshhh! Quiet Please." Students sit at tables with the librarian at her desk nearby. She's young but clearly the stereotype, wearing a drab brown suit, hair pulled up, and wire glasses. When one young man -- long hair, fat, rude, a slob -- gets loud and belligerent, he is asked politely to be quiet. He continues to rant, and the librarian steps forward and asks him again to be quiet or she'll have to ask them to leave. Her voice is modulated and calm. "Frigid little freak," he snorts, and heads to the men's room. While he's using the urinal, the librarian strong-arms him from behind, whispers in his ear ("I said, be quiet in the library!"), then slits his throat. This is the ultimate librarian-gone-bad flick. When she's at work, she's prim and proper. Out in the field, however, she's gothy-freaky and vengeful. Granted, she's offing jerks, but still ... We see her skimpily dressed, chasing Tina (blond hair, pink streaks) through the woods, brandishing a chainsaw which she rips on now and then for effect. "Teeeeena, come out come out wherever you are!" she calls. Eventually she corners the girl and rips open her shirt. As the blonde lays on her back crying, Sally explains:

Sally: I've been looking for you. Waiting, waiting ... you never came back. Why, Tina?
Tina: Why? I don't know what you're talking about.
Sally: Don't pretend you don't know.
Tina: Please! I have no idea what you're talking about!
Sally: No idea? NO IDEA?? Is it not true that in June of last year you checked out a book from the public library? Is it not true that you, Tina Gray, checked out Atkins for Life by the late Robert C. Atkins? (Shouting) And is it not true that since then that book has not been able to be checked out by any other patron of the Porterville Public Library? Is it?
Tina: (sobbing) Yes! I guess so!
Sally: And why is that, Tina? WHY IS THAT, TINA!!!
Tina: Because! I never brought it back!
Sally: That's right. You never did. And now your fine is in the double digits. But, Tina, you only live four blocks away. I sent notices. I sent letters. What the fuck is wrong with you, girly girl? Now there are a bunch of freakin' fat asses waddling around Porterville, and it's all thanks to your complete and utter LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY!!

At which point ... well, they don't call her Chainsaw Sally for nothing. We do see Sally help a patron research local history, but she goes to extremes when an ice cream clerk misspells "malt" on the order pad by, later, carving the correct spelling into her stomach. (Thank goodness for fast-forward buttons.) Anyway, the library is obviously a set (actually some of the interiors seem to be the same set), just a few shelves of unlabeled books. Her assistant is a blind man who serves only as background dressing. This film is porn with violence instead of sex, filmed on the cheap, with not a smidgen of acting talent anywhere but, hey -- the main character is a librarian. And she does maintain her own warped standards. This is a gosh-awful movie, but it makes no pretense about being anything else. We can hear the chainsaw but it's obvious the blade isn't moving. The ending is nonsensical. Mercifully, it's a short film.

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