Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Case Study No. 0336: Staff of Unnamed Library (Rugrats)

Quiet Please 1 of 2 High Quality
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Tags: Quiet Please 1 of 2 High Quality
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From: emilyphiphi
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[Chucky's father Chas and his stepmother Kira are cleaning up a mess made by the Rugrats, when he notices a book lying on the floor, so he picks it up and reads the title on the cover]
CHAS: "The History of Nasal Inhalers" ...
[he takes the "due date" slip out of the back of the book]
CHAS: Oh my! It's due back at the library today ... I've got an idea Kira, let's take the kids.
[cut to the babies listening in on their conversation]
KIMI: What's a "liberry," Tommy?
TOMMY: I dunno. Uh, maybe it's a berry that makes you tell lies ...
LIL: I think it's a big bootiful berry that you lie on like a big soft bed ...
CHUCKY: I hope not, once I sat on a blueberry and I still got the mess on my pants!
[he points to the blueberry stain on the back of his pants, then cut to everyone entering the public library, as Tommy looks up at a giant dictionary sitting in the middle of the room]
TOMMY: That'd probably take my Grampa a jillion years to read to us!
[Kira takes her daughter Kimi and points to a sign on the wall]
KIRA: Oh look, Kimi! There's even a special storytime area!
[Chas kneels down to talk to his son]
CHAS: The library's a special place, Chucky. There's books in here that can take you on adventures to anyplace you wanna go. The library's your special ticket to the world!
[Chucky starts fantasizing about things like becoming a fish, playing a saxophone, and becoming an alien in outer space, then cut back to Chas getting excited]
CHAS: Chucky, Kimi, I'm gonna get you your very own library cards!
[Chucky walks off and talks to the other babies]
CHUCKY: Didja hear that, guys? Kimi and me are getting liberry cards!
TOMMY: What's a liberry card?
CHUCKY: I don't know, but I think it's a ticket to the world, and Kimi and I are going on lots of adventures with it!
LIL: I want the liberry card!
PHIL: I want a juice box!


[Chas walks up to the front desk, where an elderly female librarian is typing on the computer]
LIBRARIAN: Yes, may I help you?
CHAS: I'd like a library card for my son Chucky and my daughter Kimi.
LIBRARIAN: No problem. You'll just have to fill out this little stack of forms ... in ink, printed. Neatly.
[she puts a large stack of papers on the desk]
CHAS: I'm very good at filling out forms. I'm a bureaucrat, y'know.
LIBRARIAN: How fascinating ...
[she looks down at the two babies]
LIBRARIAN: Now, Chucky and Kimi, there are a number of important library rules. One, you must be very quiet while in the library.
[Chas suddenly yells as he knocks a cup of pencils off of the table, then the librarian (after giving him a dirty look) continues talking to the babies]
LIBRARIAN: Two, there is no food allowed anywhere in the library. And three, all books must be returned to the shelves.
[she takes the completed forms and starts typing on the computer ... Kimi reaches up and starts playing with the stapler on the table, so the librarian quickly grabs it before handing Chas the library cards]
LIBRARIAN: And here are your new library cards!
[she pats Kimi on the head]
LIBRARIAN: They're adorable ... if they remember the rules. Have a nice day!


[Chas brings Chucky and Kimi to the childrens' area, with the other Rugrats]
CHAS: Well Chucky, remember. That card is your ticket to the world. Hold onto it tight, because there's lots of great things in here for you to discover. So, go discover, little fella!
[Chucky joins the others]
CHAS: [to himself] Oh, I almost forgot. I gotta return this book.
[he takes "The History of Nasal Inahlers" and leaves, then cut to Lil looking at Chucky's library card]
LIL: Oooh, it's so pretty-ful!
PHIL: So, waddaya do with it?
CHUCKY: Well, I gets to look at all the books, and I gets to take some of 'em home, and I gets to use the liberry potty ... It's my ticket to the world!
PHIL: Sounds like it's your ticket to the potty ...
[Chucky angrily grabs his card back from him]
TOMMY: I think it sounds real 'portant, Chucky!
LIL: Yeah! Can we go on adventures to the world with you?
CHUCKY: Well, first you gots to learn the rules!
[in the background, Kimi has been absent-mindedly pulling books off of the shelves]
KIMI: Who cares 'bout rules?
CHUCKY: Don't listen to her, guys! The liberry lady says the rules are really really 'portant!
TOMMY: Like the rule at home that we has to sleep 'til the sun comes up?
PHIL: Or that we can't put Lil in the diapey pail?
CHUCKY: Sort of, but these are special liberry rules ...


[Chas brings his book to the front desk]
CHAS: Got it back just in time!
LIBRARIAN: Yes you did ...
[she suddenly pulls out a magnifying glass and inspects the book]
LIBRARIAN: What's this?
[a very tiny tear can be seen on the spine]
LIBRARIAN: This book is damaged, Mister Finster.
CHAS: Oh, well that musta happened when Kimi tipped over the table.
LIBRARIAN: No problem ...
CHAS: Oh, that's a relief.
LIBRARIAN: I'm just going to have to ask you for your library card.
CHAS: But ... my library card? But I've had it for thirty years!
LIBRARIAN: You must be proud.
[she grabs it out of his hand]
CHAS: But I can explain!
LIBRARIAN: I'm sure you can ... if you'll just step into our interrogation area.


[Kira has left the Rugrats with a group of other children and the male storyteller, as the scene opens with him halfway through his book]
STORYTELLER: "Then, the eensie weensie centipede walked all the way to the end of the leaf!"
[cut to Chucky, who is fidgeting and checking his pockets]
CHUCKY: [whispers] Hey, guys ...
STORYTELLER: "That's when the eensie weensie centipede met a little wittle cricket!"
LIL: Shh, it's the part with the cricket!
CHUCKY: But I losted my liberry card! Now the whole world's gone, just like that!
TOMMY: Don't worry, I'll help you find it!
PHIL: Yeah, we'll help!
LIL: We'll help you, Chucky!
[they get up to leave, but the storyteller notices them]
STORYTELLER: Children, stay right there!
CHUCKY: Uh oh, how we gonna get away from him?
[as the storyteller gets up, his glasses fall off]
STORYTELLER: Oh, my glasses!
[unable to see, he gets on the ground and starts reaching around for his glasses]
PHIL: I gots this one, guys ...
[he picks up the glasses and takes them with him]
KIMI: Nice work!
PHIL: Piece'a cape ...
TOMMY: Come on guys, let's find Chucky's card!


[inside the interrogation room, the librarian is pacing back and forth, grilling Chas under the hot lights]
LIBRARIAN: Mister Finster, that's a very very interesting story ... but we have ways of dealing with lawbreakers like you!
[Chas leans forward in the chair and puts his head in his hands]
CHAS: But it was an accident! I'm not a criminal, I'm a bureaucrat!
LIBRARIAN: A bureaucrat! Well, bureaucrats do excel at mindless work. Perhaps there is a way we can settle this.
CHAS: Anything, I just want my library card back ...


[Chucky has been looking for his card in another section of the library, when he catches up with the other Rugrats to find them pulling books off the shelves and checking to see if the card is in one of them]
CHUCKY: What're you guys doing?!
LIL: Looking for your liberry card ...
[nonplussed, he continues shaking a book to see if the card falls out, as Chucky dejectedly turns away]
CHUCKY: Oh, what's the difference? They can't take your liberry card away if you don't even gots one ...
[as he starts walking away, Kimi looks at him]
KIMI: Hey, Chucky! There's something on your pants!
CHUCKY: That's just the blueberry stain!
TOMMY: No, Chucky! Look!
[he reaches and pulls his library card off the stain]
CHUCKY: Oh! Look guys, it's my liberry card!
[everyone cheers, as Chucky picks up one of the discarded books]
CHUCKY: We gots to hurry and get those books back on the shelves!
[cut to the storyteller approaching with an angry look on his face, so the Rugrats try to hide the rest of the books under the rug, but he stops them and holds up his glasses]
STORYTELLER: Um, somehow these found their way into the book return bin!
[Kira walks into the scene and talks to the Rugrats]
KIRA: Did you all enjoy the story?
[before he can continue, Kira looks down and sees that each of the babies is holding a book]
KIRA: And look, they each found a book!
[she turns to the storyteller]
KIRA: Oh, thank you very much!
[the storyteller can only mutter to himself in anger, as Kira takes the children with her]
KIRA: Come on, children ...


[Chas is at the front desk typing on the computer, when his wife and the Rugrats approach]
KIRA: There you are!
CHAS: Oh, sorry dear. There was a little problem with the book I returned, but I've taken care of it. I just re-alphabetized the library's card file, balanced their budget, and revised their Dewey Decimal System!


From tv.com:

"Rugrats" (Season 8, Episode 20) - Quiet, Please

First episode to feature Nancy Cartwright as the voice of Chuckie. And she already does a great job of sounding just like Christine Cavanaugh's Chuckie.

When Chas's library book is due, he takes the Rugrats to the library to return it. While there, Chas decides to get library cards for Chuckie and Kimi, saying that they're the "ticket to the world". But, will the Rugrats obey the librarian's rules to keep quiet, not eat, and to put the books back? Meanwhile, Chas's library privileges are revoked when the strict librarian notices a microscopic tear on the book's cover, forcing him to make a deal.

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