Conan The Librarian
The story of a down-on-his-luck actor forced to work in the book reposession industry.
Tags: Terminator Anold Schwarzenegger Kindergarten Cop Predator Conan The Barbarian Total Recall I'll Be Back Bad To Bone
Added: 3 years ago
["The Librarian" appears on screen, then cut to a young man wearing sunglasses as he walks up to a person's house and knocks on the door ... eventually, a young woman answers]
[the man addresses her with a ridiculous Austrian accent]
CONAN: Are you Sarah Connor?
[he pushes the door open (as the scene plays in slow motion and the theme from "Terminator" plays) ... but instead of pulling a gun, he just stops and looks at her]
CONAN: You have an overdue library book!
SARAH: I didn't know the library made house calls ...
CONAN: Yeah, well ... now they do! And now, you must pay the price!
SARAH: Oh, I know what you're talking about ... I'll go get it, just a sec.
[she turns and leaves, then returns with a copy of the "Conan" manga]
SARAH: You're a librarian? Don't seem like the type ...
[he grabs the book away from her]
CONAN: Yeah, well, I wasn't always a librarian! Once, I was a movie star!
[the woman loudly chews her gum, obviously bored]
CONAN: Yes, I was in all sorts of movies! I was in, like ... The Predator! And y'know, the one with all the people who became politicans later! And um, y'know, Jingle All the Way! That was a Christmas classic! And um, yeah, and Total Recall! And all those great movies, but I never won an Oscar! I was Mister Universe, but I never got an Oscar, it was very disappointing!
SARAH: [pause] Hey, were you that kindergarden teacher in Kindergarden Cop?
CONAN: Yeah, I was the guy in Kindergarden Cop! I-I played John Kimball, I really liked my car!
SARAH: And did you think about that?
CONAN: No, not really ...
[he holds up the book]
CONAN: Well, you're getting off this time! But next time ... I'll be back!
[he slowly backs out of the doorway]
SARAH: Okay ...
[she closes the door, then cut to outside as he walks up to his scooter (as "Bad to the Bone" plays) ... he turns and gives a nod to the camera, then rides away]
An Absolutely Badass Production
The Wrong Sarah
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2nd Unit Photography