Monday, September 23, 2013

Case Study No. 1003: Courtney Bates

Is There A Librarian In The House??
Cortny Bates helps me return a long-overdue book.
Tags: Joseph Bridwell biography
Added: 1 year ago
From: leeb831
Views: 61

[scene opens with the host of the "Happy Hour in Texas" podcast speaking into a microphone, in front of a studio audience]
LEE B. WEAVER: I have a quick question ... Is there a librarian in the house?
[the audience murmurs]
LEE B. WEAVER: Is there a librarian in the--
[he nearly knocks his microphone over]
LEE B. WEAVER: Whoa! In the house?
[someone from the audience yells "Why yes there is!"]
LEE B. WEAVER: Librarian, come up here, please!
[the audience applauds]
LEE B. WEAVER: Y'know, we have ... we have, we have firsts all the time on this show, and that was one right there.
[the audience laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: No one's ever said, "Is there a librarian in the house?"
[a woman (brown hair, glasses, orange dress) walks up on stage and sits down next to him]
LEE B. WEAVER: We have a Dewey Decimal System emergency!
[the audience laughs, as she holds a finger up to her lips and "shushes" him]
LEE B. WEAVER: Oh, that's right! That's right ...
[he laughs, then looks out into the audience]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, could you shush those people?
[she turns towards the audience and repeats the move, as they laugh]
LEE B. WEAVER: Oh, well ...
[someone in the audience yells "Play the game!"]
LEE B. WEAVER: I may be.
[he turns to the librarian]
LEE B. WEAVER: You wanna play the question--
[she shakes her head]
COURTNEY BATES: No thank you.
[he laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, here's the deal. I wrote a book, um, last year. The year before ... both of those years, and along the way I borrowed a book from the MSU library.
[the audience laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: And, um, it was sort of ... co-stolen by an employee and myself. Like, she smuggled it out past the little--
[he starts gesturing with his hands, as the librarian looks at him accusingly]
LEE B. WEAVER: She didn't know if it would trip the alarms, but she didn't wanna find out.
[he holds up a book]
LEE B. WEAVER: So, it's the ... it's the, uh, it's a doctoral thesis on Joseph Bridwell, written by one of the premiere early historians of Wichita Falls when she was still a graduate at MSU.
[the librarian shakes her head]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, published in Nineteen Sixty Seven ... I've had it for a year and a half, and I can't go back there. So--
[he hands the book to the librarian]
LEE B. WEAVER: And, of course, my fingerprints aren't on it. No one knows I have that book. Uh, but if you want to sneak that back in someday--
COURTNEY BATES: I'm gonna tell on you!
LEE B. WEAVER: I don't care, but ...
[he laughs, as the librarian starts leafing through the book]
LEE B. WEAVER: Can you do that for me? Thank you so much, Courtney!
[he points at her]
LEE B. WEAVER: Courtney Bates, MSU librarian!
[she gets up and walks off camera as the audience applauds, then "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction begins to play]
LEE B. WEAVER: Been caught stealin' ...



Happy Hour In Texas with Lee B Weaver

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