Friday, September 13, 2013

Case Study No. 0986: Unnamed Female Librarian (Big Girl's Blouse)

[BIG GIRLS BLOUSE] Librarians Discuss Relationships
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Tags: Fast Forward (TV Show)
Added: 5 months ago
From: FastForwardAU
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[scene opens with a split screen of a female librarian (blonde slicked-back hair in a bun, glasses, dark blouse) sitting at the returns desk in the library while talking to her girlfriend over the phone, both speaking in detached monotone voices]
LIBRARIAN: Can you talk?
LIBRARIAN: So, who rang who?
FRIEND: I rang him.
[cut to a closeup of the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Did you do what I said? Did you meet him for coffee?
FRIEND: [from off camera] Yeah.
[cut back to the split screen]
LIBRARIAN: Did he look at you?
LIBRARIAN: In the eye?
FRIEND: Well, in the eye-al area ... Coulda been my forehead.
LIBRARIAN: But it was in the general facial region?
FRIEND: Aw yeah, it was definitely in the vicinity of my head.
[cut to a closeup of the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Well, I'd say you're definitely in. I mean, you don't look at someone in the head if you're not interested. I know I've said that.
[cut back to the split screen]
LIBRARIAN: Now tell me, what exactly did he say?
FRIEND: Well, I can't remember exactly 'cause I was a bit pissed, but I do remember at one stage that he told me to get out, that he didn't love me, that he never loved me, that he never would ... Wadda ya think that means?
LIBRARIAN: Mixed messages.
[cut to a closeup of the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Look, if that is the case, then how does he explain the chewing gum incident?
[cut back to the split screen]
FRIEND: I know. I said to him, "If you have no interest in me sexually, what is your story with the chewing gum?"
LIBRARIAN: Everyone knows what chewing gum means these days. Listen, if you don't wanna kiss someone, you certainly don't offer them chewing gum. How many pieces did he offer you?
LIBRARIAN: Two? That's practically a cup of Listerine, for chrissake!
[cut to a closeup of the librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Look, I'm sorry, but if that's his way of trying to tell you that he only wants to be your friend, then he is one very confused emotional cripple.
[cut to a closeup of her friend]
FRIEND: I suppose it could just mean he thought I had bad breath.
[cut back to the split screen]
[cut to a closeup of her friend, as she breathes into her hand and smells it]
FRIEND: Well, I certainly do now. But that could just be the stress of the whole situation.



Big Girl's Blouse is an Australian skit program that aired in the mid-1990s on the Seven Network. The show was created by Gina Riley, Jane Turner and Magda Szubanski who all went on to star in Kath & Kim. There were four one-hour episodes, plus the pilot, which are usually shown as eight half-hour episodes. The phrase "Big Girl's Blouse" is a British English idiom meaning "ineffectual or weak, someone failing to show masculine strength or determination".

In Australia The Comedy Channel currently airs the series as part of their Aussie Gold block hosted by Frank Woodley. In America it occasionally appears on the Sundance Channel.

The show has been released in its entirety by Shock DVD in Australia.

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