The Librarian and the Bureaucrat Discuss Love of Reading
A fashionable school librarian visits a mid-level district bureaucrat hoping to get funding for a visiting author.
Added: 2 years ago
[scene opens with a female librarian (short brown hair, leopard-print shirt, black pants) speaking to man (blonde hair, dark suit and tie) sitting in a chair]
LIBRARIAN: Thanks so much for agreeing to meet with me, Mister Mid-level District Bureaucrat.
BUREAUCRAT: Well, Miss School Librarian, it's true. My time is valuable. I have papers to push, pencils to sharpen, nickels to count ... That's my life.
LIBRARIAN: Very fulfilling, I'm sure. At the same time, I believe we share a common goal ... encouraging our students to love reading.
BUREAUCRAT: Uh, don't many of the children already know how to read? I thought we still taught it to the younger ones ...
LIBRARIAN: Yes, teachers and librarians want them to love reading. Reading will acquaint them with culture and history. Reading will enrich their lives and expand their imaginations. Reading will familiarize them with the vastness both of the universe and of experience beyond their own.
BUREAUCRAT: You must have been an English major.
LIBRARIAN: So what I've come about today is funding for an author visit to support our mutual goal ... encouraging the love of reading.
BUREAUCRAT: Such a shame that I have another appointment.
LIBRARIAN: When librarians and teachers sponsor an author visit, our students' enthusiasm for reading grows exponentially. The students never forget the experience ... So, may we have the funding?
BUREAUCRAT: Before we get to that, I'm wondering what author you have in mind? I liked a book once, it was by that "Doctor Seuss" fellow ... there was a cat.
LIBRARIAN: "The Cat in the Hat" by Doctor Seuss? But Doctor Seuss cannot visit our school ... I'm afraid Doctor Seuss is dead.
BUREAUCRAT: In that case, what about the author who wrote about the CEO of a candy business?
LIBRARIAN: I think you mean Roald Dahl. He wrote "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ... Unfortunately, Roald Dahl is also dead.
BUREAUCRAT: Or that book about the moon, what was it called ... "Goodbye Moon?" "Go Away Moon?" "Why Are You Up There Anyway, Moon?"
LIBRARIAN: "Goodnight Moon" by Margaret Wise Brown ... I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but Margaret Wise Brown died in Nineteen Fifty Two.
BUREAUCRAT: These authors should take better care of themselves ... they are dropping like flies!
[he shakes his head]
BUREAUCRAT: Wait, I know ... How about that Henry Porter person? The children are crazy about him! Does he visit schools?
LIBRARIAN: Harry Potter is imaginary ... but the author, JK Rowling, is still alive.
LIBRARIAN: Forget it. We can't afford her. There are many other authors, excellent authors who will inspire our students ... but we need funding.
BUREAUCRAT: Before we get to that, I want to ask you a question ... Do you really believe what you said? That "love of reading" stuff? That "expand your mind, vastness of the universe" stuff?
LIBRARIAN: Yes, I do ... because if I did not, I could not muster the strength to come to work in the morning.
BUREAUCRAT: Then perhaps I should read a book sometime ...
LIBRARIAN: Perhaps you should ... and the funding?
BUREAUCRAT: [pause] You are in luck, because I have an idea ... what about if you librarians get together with the teachers and have a bake sale?
LIBRARIAN: That is brilliant ... I see now why you are a mid-level district bureaucrat.
BUREAUCRAT: Thank you ... I know I am clever, and I have every confidence that you and your teacher colleagues will whip up some really really mean cupcakes!
[the librarian turns to the camera and shakes her head]