Monday, November 12, 2012

Case Study No. 0646: Mr. Librarian

Mr. Librarian- Gay librarian gets fired but redeems himself
A moment in a day of the life of a librarian. These people have feelings to folks, they deserve our respect.
Tags: librarianmustache
Added: 3 years ago
From: 1neveroddoreven1
Views: 632

[scene opens inside a library, as a young male patron comes running in]
PATRON: National Reading Week! Yeah, lemmee get some books!
[the effeminate male librarian at the front desk shushes]
LIBRARIAN: Shh! Shh! Oh my god, what're you doing? We're in the library, you can't yell!
[the patron looks at some of the books on the shelves]
PATRON: Oh, Stephen King, I heard he had some princely books, but ... this one sucks!
LIBRARIAN: Mister, you can't yell in the library!
PATRON: Shut up, okay?
LIBRARIAN: Oh my god, you can't just be yelling in the library! My boss could come in here any second!
PATRON: Y'know what? Jam your thumb up your asshole!
[cut to a large man (with a fake mustache) entering the library]
MR. MONSIEUR: What? What? Where's all the noise? What? What?
LIBRARIAN: Look! Mister Monsieur, he's being like ... That guy's being mean and making noises!
MR. MONSIEUR: What? What? Looks fine to me! What? He's quiet! What? What?
LIBRARIAN: But he's--
[the librarian flops down into his chair in frustration]
MR. MONSIEUR: What? You come in here, you accuse little kids! What?
[he starts to cry]
MR. MONSIEUR: Hey, hey! You're fired!
LIBRARIAN: No, you can't fire me!
MR. MONSIEUR: Hey, hey ... Fired!
LIBRARIAN: You, you can't ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Hey hey hey! Before you go, gimmee a little smooch!
LIBRARIAN: No, you can't ... You can't fire me!
MR. MONSIEUR: Hey, gimmee a smooch!
LIBRARIAN: You can't fire me!
MR. MONSIEUR: Fired! Smooch!
LIBRARIAN: You can't fire me!
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, fired! Fired, smooch!
LIBRARIAN: I won't ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch ...
[cut to the librarian pouting in his chair, as the patron walks up to the desk]
PATRON: Uh, sorry, I was being a total dick to that guy and I don't think you should fire him. I mean, he's actually doing a pretty good job.
PATRON: Yeah ...
MR. MONSIEUR: You guilty?
PATRON: I'm guilty ...
PATRON: Yeah ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Alright!
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] He's guilty!
PATRON: See ya ...
[the man points to both of them, then to each of his cheeks]
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, smooch, he's hired!
[the patron starts walking out]
PATRON: I'll see ya, dude ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch! Smooch!
PATRON: Sir ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, he's hired!
PATRON: Sir, I don't believe in kissing the same sex.
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, he's hired!
PATRON: It's kinda weird ...
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, he's hired!
[the patron points to the librarian]
PATRON: He'll smooch! I can't smooch ...
LIBRARIAN: I'm hired?
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch, or you're fired!
LIBRARIAN: Am I hired?
MR. MONSIEUR: Smooch or you're fired!
[he jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek]

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