Case Study No. 0398: The Moist Librarian

Two Children Left Behind - Shatner: The Moist Librarian
6:11
Two Children Left Behind are an improv duo at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. For Shatner, each actor says one word at a time. Chapter 2 features two words from each actor. The topic suggestions are taken from the audience.
Tags: two children left behind shatner ren fest renaissance festival improv theatre
Added: 9 months ago
From: windysdays
Views: 30

[scene opens with Butch Roy (dressed as a court jester) and George Grubb (dressed as a peasant) performing on stage]
GEORGE: Once!
BUTCH: I!
GEORGE: Was!
BUTCH: In!
GEORGE: Side!
BUTCH: Of!
GEORGE: A!
BUTCH: Local!
GEORGE: [pause] Library!
BUTCH: Where!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Searched!
GEORGE: And!
BUTCH: Searched!
GEORGE: For!
BUTCH: Knowledge!
GEORGE: But!
BUTCH: Could!
GEORGE: Not!
BUTCH: Find!
GEORGE: Any!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Because!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Was!
GEORGE: Stupid!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: Unteachable!
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: [pause] Lonely ...
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: So!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Proceeded!
GEORGE: To!
BUTCH: The!
GEORGE: [pause] Desk!
BUTCH: Where!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Saw!
GEORGE: Love!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Looking!
GEORGE: Right!
BUTCH: Back!
GEORGE: Through!
BUTCH: Me!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: Because!
BUTCH: [pause] What?
GEORGE: Because ...
BUTCH: I!
GEORGE: Am!
BUTCH: Translucent!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: And!
BUTCH: Lonely!
GEORGE: And!
BUTCH: Stupid!
GEORGE: So!
BUTCH: Very!
GEORGE: [laughs] Stupid!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: She!
GEORGE: Was!
BUTCH: The!
GEORGE: Most!
BUTCH: Intelligent!
GEORGE: Librarian!
BUTCH: I!
GEORGE: Had!
BUTCH: Ever!
GEORGE: Seen!
BUTCH: [pause] There!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: She!
BUTCH: Was!
GEORGE: Beautiful!
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: Moist!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: Had to come up somewhere ...
BUTCH: I!
GEORGE: Was!
BUTCH: Assuming!
GEORGE: [laughs] So!
BUTCH: Very!
GEORGE: Assuming!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Because!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Am!
GEORGE: Lonely!
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: Aggressive!
BUTCH: Ly!
GEORGE: Lonely!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: We!
GEORGE: Fell!
BUTCH: Deeply!
GEORGE: Apart!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: She!
BUTCH: Could!
GEORGE: Not!
BUTCH: Tolerate!
GEORGE: My!
BUTCH: Stupidity!
GEORGE: Or!
BUTCH: Loneliness!
GEORGE: So!
BUTCH: Very!
GEORGE: [laughs] Loneliness!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Was!
GEORGE: I?
BUTCH: With!
GEORGE: Yoda!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Huh?
GEORGE: I'm sorry ...
BUTCH: Oh, the sentence structure ...
GEORGE: Word order ...
BUTCH: Yeah, got it ...
[they try to compose themselves]
BUTCH: Had!
GEORGE: Thought!
BUTCH: [pause] This, really, this is a left turn even for us!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Range ...
[he shakes his head]
BUTCH: To!
GEORGE: Equip!
BUTCH: Me!
GEORGE: With!
BUTCH: A!
GEORGE: Translator!
BUTCH: For!
GEORGE: My!
BUTCH: [pause] Stupidity!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: And!
BUTCH: Talking!
GEORGE: [pause] So!
BUTCH: There!
GEORGE: I!
BUTCH: Stood!
GEORGE: Translating!
BUTCH: To!
GEORGE: The!
BUTCH: Beautiful!
GEORGE: Moist!
BUTCH: Librarian!
GEORGE: When!
BUTCH: Suddenly!
GEORGE: There!
BUTCH: Came!
GEORGE: A!
BUTCH: Noise!
GEORGE: From!
BUTCH: The!
GEORGE: Depths!
BUTCH: Of!
GEORGE: The!
BUTCH: Reference!
GEORGE: [laughs] Section!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Where all the action happens ...
GEORGE: Oh yeah ...
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: It!
GEORGE: Was!
BUTCH: Terrifying!
GEORGE: And!
BUTCH: Horrible!
GEORGE: Because!
BUTCH: It!
GEORGE: Was!
BUTCH: The!
GEORGE: [pause] Super!
BUTCH: Natural!
GEORGE: [pause] Book!
BUTCH: Eating!
GEORGE: Monster!
BUTCH: Oooh!
[the audience laughs, as Butch turns to George]
BUTCH: Chapter two?
GEORGE: Chapter two!
BUTCH: The Moist Librarian, chapter two!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: She leapt!
GEORGE: Menacingly towards!
BUTCH: The monster!
GEORGE: With her!
BUTCH: Pen and!
GEORGE: Catalog!
[he turns to Butch]
GEORGE: Cataloging, it's the ...
BUTCH: You've got two words.
GEORGE: Oh! I was sorta confused ...
BUTCH: Catalog!
GEORGE: Of!
BUTCH: Cards held!
GEORGE: Firmly in!
BUTCH: Her grasp!
GEORGE: Plunging it!
BUTCH: Deep into!
GEORGE: The monster's!
BUTCH: [pause] Favorite eyeball!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: The monster!
BUTCH: Howled!
[George taps him on the shoulder to remind him he has two words]
BUTCH: "Aiiyi!"
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: She laughed!
BUTCH: "Ha ha!"
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: That one word or two?
BUTCH: Sure ...
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: And!
GEORGE: Then stepped!
BUTCH: Out of!
GEORGE: Her ... armor!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: I was!
GEORGE: Enthralled by!
BUTCH: Her Now!
GEORGE: Moist ... face!
BUTCH: Which glistened!
GEORGE: Beautifully in!
BUTCH: The ... fluourescent!
GEORGE: Lighting from!
BUTCH: The overhead!
GEORGE: Fixtures! I!
BUTCH: Fell deeply!
GEORGE: In love!
BUTCH: And pursued!
GEORGE: Her ... frequently!
[the audience laughs]
BUTCH: Until the!
GEORGE: Day she!
BUTCH: Killed me!
[the audience laughs]
GEORGE: With her!
BUTCH: Pen and!
GEORGE: Card catalog!
[they bow, and the audience cheers]

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From facebook.com:

Two Children Left Behind is a ridiculous mix of improvisation, Shakespeare, pop culture, public schooling and heatstroke. Butch Roy and George Grubb mix improvisation, Shakespeare and all the issues of a 20 year friendship to create a fun and frenetic experience.