Friday, June 15, 2012

Case Study No. 0386: Joyce the Librarian

Liz Ryan - "Joyce the Librarian"
Liz Ryan, Mezzo-soprano and Deborah Kelleher, piano, perform "Joyce the Librarian".
Visit Liz's web site
Tags: Liz Ryan eclectic mezzo Deborah Kelleher mezzo-soprano opera singer comedy songs Joyce Librarian
Added: 3 years ago
From: jryan63
Views: 9,512

Joyce the librarian
Strict vegetarian
Forty and living with mum.
Wears sandals and glasses
Attends evening classes
And wishes that romance would come.
Though she'd never been kissed
It's not something she'd missed
Until some weeks before
When George, the rotarian,
Handsome lotharian,
Walked through the library door.

George was unmarried
And the torch that Joyce carried
Was burning a hole in her heart
She wanted to know him
But couldn't yet show him
She didn't know where to start
So with growing abhorrance
She read D.H. Lawrence
To glean a few ideas ...
Which she turned down flat
She couldn't do ... that!
Not in a million years!

Joyce the librarian
Strict vegetarian
Was burning with animal lust
Alarming sensations
Strange palpatations
A mix of delight and disgust
So she busied herself
Rearranging her shelf
To try to control her dreams
Joyce the librarian
Was falling apart at the seams

The very next day
She kept out of his way
When George returned his books
But with growing conviction
As he wandered through "Fiction"
She threw him some longing looks
And when George joined the queue
She knew what to do,
She smiled and removed her specs ...
Then looked with horror
For he'd come to borrow
"The Further Joys of Sex"

Perhaps because latterly
She'd read "Lady Chatterley"
Something went "Snap!" in her head
She gave herself gladly,
Wildly, madly
That night to George in his bed
But then just as she'd feared
George disappeared
Some other librarian to woo ...
Now there's a sob in her voice
For both book and Joyce
Are a fortnight overdue

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