Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Case Study No. 1684: Skellington Record Librarian

Let's Play Saturday: Arthur's Odyssey, part 5
now let's hope I didn't screw this one up, too.

wherein I get angry some more and stuff like that.

Tags: arthur yahtzee ben croshaw zero punctuation sexy librarians come to mind
Added: 4 years ago
From: riskyfish
Views: 59

[scene opens in the city of Skellington, as the player talks to a blind man sitting on a bench]
ARTHUR: Long shot, I know, but do you know a Doctor Schnitzelgeflogen?
BLIND MAN: Yes, he lives in the town. Don't know where, though.
ARTHUR: Could you tell me where I could find out?
BLIND MAN: Try the record library on Souffle Street. It'll be on the map.
ARTHUR: Thanks very much, mister. By the way, you are blind, aren't you?
BLIND MAN: Yes, and I appreciate that it's odd I like going to the library.
[cut to the player entering the Skellington Record Library, where an elderly female librarian is sitting at the front desk]
LIBRARIAN: Yes, can I help you, young man?
ARTHUR: Yes, erm, could you point me in the direction of the public address records?
LIBRARIAN: Well, we don't let just anyone in. Do you have authorisation?
[the player selects "First, last, and only resort"]
ARTHUR: No, but I have this pick axe which will shortly be violently forced up your--
LIBRARIAN: Ok, ok, sir, you don't need to get violent. If you're that desperate ...
ARTHUR: Yes? Yes?! Yes?!!
LIBRARIAN: I suppose I could let you have a look. Under supervision.
ARTHUR: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Of course! Of course! Of course!
[they head for the card catalog]
LIBRARIAN: Ah. Looks like some inefficient person has somehow neglected to fill in all the labels.
[the player checks a drawer, labelled "A-B"]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Artonson, Aaron; Artonson, Darren; Artonson, Warren; Ascot, C.; Asgard, P.; Baggaclough, S.; Beelzebub, L."
[the player checks another drawer, labelled "B-C"]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Blackadder, E.; Brick, I.; Bszk-lyn, Kkksk; Buckleby, A.; Completelystupidname, A.; Commelspurt, Doreen; Copply, Colin"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Cromwell, O.; Csamgot, Ishka; Cunningwood, C.; C*** (Name censored), Ivor; Denning, Dr. M.; Denning, L.; Dastard, W."
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Devilworshipper, Molly; Donaldson, B.; Drainage, V.; Dunbutchering, R.; Ekklewhite, Maurice; Eltuary, T.; Enning F."
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Enning, J.; Enoch, P.; Every, Avery; Farter, I.M.A.; Fickellbaboon, HaHa; Fiiiiiii, F.; Frankfurt, S."
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Frontbund, Lionel; Frellpike, C.; Fungus, Barry; Funlovingcriminals, K.; Gasping, H.; Gentwood, G.; Gentwood (No first name)"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Gossip, Maureen; Grandeur, Delusions Of; Greatbigfunbags, P.; Grossly-Overweight, I.; Hassunjobby, O.; Heraldry, M.; Henderson, Harry"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Hezzenwotsit, Hez; Hrolfsdaughter, Hrolf; Hindlegsoffadonkey, T.T.; Hunter, P.; Iambicpentameter, V.; Inthegroin, Knee; Innajockstrap, Dawn"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Williams, K.; Williams, R.; Williams, And-so-on; Xerxich, X.; Yakbutter, T.; Yaaaaargh, Z.; Zzzzzzzzz, Zeke"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Ishkible, Terry; Issensherry, Lard; Istanbul, Somewherein; Isabell, Isabell; Jonnton, Joan; Joonton, Jason; Jop-jop-jop, Sillyname"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Kissy, Gizza; Konivinglittletart, Ima; Khakhakhakha-kha, Khakha; K.J.; Laminated, Plastic; Lane, L; Londonborough, Ivor"
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Lessofyourlip, I-lay; Messyeater, W.; Nockabout, Q.; Pratchett, Terry; Russelsheim, Russel; Rundowntown, T.; Samsen, D."
[the player checks another drawer]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Sackofpotatoes, Facelika; Schnitzelgeflogen, Dr. H.; Than-theother, Won-Isaiah; Tunbrod, G.; Valerie, S.; Waren, V.; Woddley, Woddle"
[the player stops]
ARTHUR: Hmm ... This looks important.
[the player pulls out one of the cards]
ARTHUR: [reading] "Schnitzelgeflogen, Dr. H., Age: 58, Address: 19 Patella Street, Skellington"



Benjamin Richard "Yahtzee" Croshaw is an English comedic writer, video game journalist and author of adventure games created using Adventure Game Studio software.

Originally Croshaw created a series of adventure games with MS Paint starring his signature character Arthur Yahtzee. The "Arthur Yahtzee Trilogy" (as they became known) were a series of adventure games written in Visual Basic 3 during Croshaw's high school years inspired by his schoolmate Michael Dodson's Red Dwarf games, with the first being released on 1 January 1998. They star his signature character, from which his Internet alias is derived.

In "Friday: Death to Arthur Yahtzee", a group of mutants whom Arthur once defeated are back and out to get him. In "Saturday: Arthur's Odyssey" Yahtzee has to face forces trying to mess with time, a quest that leads into "Yesterday: The D-Gate" where Arthur faces the villain Cathode (and helped by Anode). He reveals himself to be the one responsible for all of Arthur's troubles in the previous games, and is now determined to gain the power to control travel between dimensions. The game ends with Arthur destroying the entire Multiverse in his quest to stop him.

These games showcase the first examples of the humour and writing style that Croshaw became known for in his AGS years. The games were created before Croshaw had his own site and thus were hosted on the site of a friend, once that site went down they were sent to Croshaw's Fully Ramblomatic.

A text adventure game, "Arthur Yahtzee: The Curse of Hell's Cheesecake", was also created but is not considered part of the actual trilogy.



So now you're stuck in the alternate reality. Jolly good. First of all, have another mini game. There is NO strategty to this, just move the crosshair a bit, and click like mad when he's under it. Once you've crashed, follow the arrow. Pick up the odd box, and follow the middle arrow, collecting the jagged glass. Go left, then down, then cut the paracute free with the glass.

Go back to the plane, and go up-right. Oh for silly luck, a cryogenic chamber! Just needs some nitrogen. Take the pickaxe, and go to the rock with the girder embedded in it. Hack away, and stick a girder in your trousers. Wahey! Now go find the lava pool just below where Module 12 was, and use your amazingly large phiallic girder to collect the random bucket. Head down, and tank up your bucket with nitrogen. Return to the cryogenic chamber, load it up from your bucket, and *ahem* chill for a bit...


There's nothing else to do. Go to the lake, and talk to the blind man. You need help, so ask for it. Leave the man to his devices, and go to the library. Threaten the lady with the pickaxe, so that you can see the records. Check the bottem right corner drawer, and the second folder from the top. Bingo. Off to the lab with you, sonny jim.

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