Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Case Study No. 1261: Unnamed Male Librarian (The Unpaid Internship)

The Unpaid Internship
A library school graduate with an MLIS degree applies for a librarian job, only to find out it's yet another unpaid internship.
Tags: xtranormal MLIS librarian library information science unpaid internship student loans graduate school field experience volunteer work resume credentials salary
Added: 2 years ago
From: saratoga7771
Views: 219

[scene opens with a female bear speaking to a male rabbit librarian]
GRADUATE: I am applying for the librarian position.
LIBRARIAN: What are your credentials?
GRADUATE: I have a master's in library and information science. I have a four-point-zero grade-point. And I have done one thousand hours of field experience and volunteer work.
LIBRARIAN: What else?
GRADUATE: I am a published writer. I belong to many professional organizations.
LIBRARIAN: You can work here.
GRADUATE: How much does it pay?
LIBRARIAN: It is a non-paid internship ... You will gain valuable experience that you can put on your resume.
GRADUATE: But I have bills to pay ...
LIBRARIAN: That is not my problem.
GRADUATE: How do the other interns live without a salary?
LIBRARIAN: They live with their parents ... Why don't you live with your parents?
GRADUATE: They are dead.
LIBRARIAN: Oh, sorry ... Did they leave you any money?
LIBRARIAN: That is not my problem.
GRADUATE: Can I apply for one of the paying jobs? You have two hundred people working here.
LIBRARIAN: Nobody is paid ... They are all unpaid interns.
GRADUATE: How do they survive?
LIBRARIAN: They live with their parents.
GRADUATE: I must pay student loans. I must pay rent and the electric bill and buy food.
LIBRARIAN: You could sleep in the park ... Lose weight. You could read by candlelight.
GRADUATE: I must buy cat food.
LIBRARIAN: The cat can catch mice ... Cats today are too lazy.
GRADUATE: But why should I work for no pay?
LIBRARIAN: Because you will gain valuable experience to put on your resume.
GRADUATE: My resume is thirty pages long ... I need a job!
LIBRARIAN: Good luck.
GRADUATE: Why do all of these people work here for free?
LIBRARIAN: They are gaining valuable experience to put on their resumes.
GRADUATE: Do you know any place that pays a salary anymore?
LIBRARIAN: Starbucks, down the street ... I cannot afford the coffee there because, even though I am the director, I am still an unpaid intern.
GRADUATE: [pause] You are not paid either?
LIBRARIAN: No ... but I am gaining valuable experience to put on my resume.

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