Thursday, March 28, 2013

Case Study No. 0877: Mister Membrane

"Zot Away" advertisement
Sister Euthanasia from up at the high school gets some friendly personal hygiene advice from the school librarian.
Tags: Zot Away Sister Euthanasia advertisement Dick Geier
Added: 6 months ago
From: Dick Geier
Views: 54

[scene opens in a library, as a nun is looking at the card catalog (while scratching her backside), and the male librarian (next to a "Library Quiet" sign) watches her from behind the front desk ]
LIBRARIAN: [to himself] Hmm, there's Sister Euthanasia, from up at the high school.
[cut to a closeup of the nun's backside]
LIBRARIAN: [to himself] That picking and pulling at her habit ... It's a sure sign of dingleberries.
[cut to a closeup of the librarian, shaking his head with a concerned look on his face]
LIBRARIAN: [to himself] I sure wish she'd ask me about new "Zot Away" ...
[cut to the nun closing the drawer on the card catalog, then walking up to the librarian]
NUN: Mister Membrane, we're friends. Have you ever gotten those ... you know, those little furballs in your rear end?
[he reaches under the counter and pulls out a gallon of water (with a piece of paper reading "Zot Away" taped to the side)]
LIBRARIAN: And I use new "Zot Away" everyday!
[cut to a closeup of the gallon of water]
LIBRARIAN: It has twice the dingleberry-killing ingredients as the leading brands, special anti-bacterial compounds slow the accumulation of smegma ...
[cut to a closeup of the librarian's face]
LIBRARIAN: And, it's gentle on the ol' keister ... seester!
[he smiles and winks, then cut to the nun]
NUN: Hmm, "Zot Away" ...
[she looks up at the heavens]
NUN: I'll try it.
[cut to the librarian standing near the entrance to the library and reading a book (as "Weeks Later" appears on screen), when the nun enters]
LIBRARIAN: Hey sister, how's the ol' bunghole?
NUN: Great! Thanks to you and new ...
[she reaches under her habit and pulls out the same gallon of water]
NUN: "Zot Away"!
[cut to a closeup of the gallon of water next to a caulking gun (also labelled "Zot Away")]
ANNOUNCER: "Zot Away!" Sold at any drug store, and now with a convenient applicator!

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