PUT THE BIBLE IN THE FICTION SECTION
Tags: PUT THE BIBLE IN FICTION SECTION CENSORED Library Atheist Agnostic The Religious Antagonist Fiction Section Bible Blasphemy God Theist Lies Hot Librarian KING JAMES VERSION NEW TESTAMENT OLD RELIGIOUS ANTAGONIST SUCKS INTERNATIONAL KJV NIV BILLY GRAHAM SATAN TOILET PAPER KLEENEX BOOBIES showreel hollywood actor contest entertainment gospel jesus christ poop prophecy pumpkins book holy books reading spirit music festival your hand hands star keep war games football
Added: 2 years ago
[video opens with a young man standing outside of the public library]
MIKE LEE: Hi, my name's Mike, and I'm the Religious Antagonist! Yeah!
["Mike Lee, Religious Antagonist" appears on screen]
MIKE LEE: Today what we're doing is we're at the public library, where I will be moving the Bibles into the Fiction section. Let's see what happens.
[cut to Mike and his cameraman walking through the stacks]
MIKE LEE: [whispers] Alright, as you can see, I've found the Bibles.
[he begins putting on latex gloves]
MIKE LEE: [whispers] Now, what we're gonna do is you need to wear gloves, okay? Anytime you touch these Bibles, they are known to be very toxic, so when you touch these, when you want to move them into the Fiction section, it's always a good idea to wear protection.
[he puts on a face mask, then begins taking the Bibles off of the shelves, holding one up to the camera]
MIKE LEE: The New Introductory Study Bible ... Come on, let's go.
[he heads for the fiction section and begins randomly placing the Bibles onto different shelves]
MIKE LEE: [whispers] Okay, I ... I'm so surprised nobody's done anything yet! So, let's go back, we're gonna get more Bibles.
[he heads back and grabs an even bigger stack of Bibles]
MIKE LEE: Y'know, I think I'm gonna need a cart. Let's ... let's see if we can find a cart.
[he walks off, then finds a female librarian (face blurred) pushing a booktruck]
MIKE LEE: Hey, I just ... I was, I saw some of these books and I was trying to move them into the right section.
LIBRARIAN 1: Mm-hmm.
MIKE LEE: I was wondering if maybe you had a cart? Maybe I could help?
LIBRARIAN 1: I do have a cart.
MIKE LEE: Do you?
LIBRARIAN 1: Yes.
MIKE LEE: If you had a cart, I could help you guys. I just saw they were filed in the Historical section, they belong in the Fiction.
[cut to the librarian wheeling another booktruck over]
MIKE LEE: Thank you! Thank you, I just wanted to help you guys. You guys do a lotta work tax-free, so I just wanna put these where they belong. Thank you!
LIBRARIAN 1: You're welcome ...
[as the librarian walks away, he begins placing the Bibles on the truck]
MIKE LEE: Great citizen!
[he wheels the truck back to the Fiction section]
MIKE LEE: Now, the question arises ... Where do you put the Bible exactly, when you move it from the Historical section and the Religious section? Does it go into Horror? Maybe.
[he places one of the Bibles on the shelf]
MIKE LEE: Does it go into Mystery, because it makes no godamn sense? Maybe.
[he puts another Bible randomly on the shelf]
MIKE LEE: I guess you could also put the English Bible, file it under Intolerant and Ignorant.
[he puts another Bible on the shelf]
MIKE LEE: I don't really know what section, and it doesn't really matter, but we're putting it into Fiction.
[he points to the "Fiction" sign on the shelf, then picks up another pile of Bibles]
MIKE LEE: So, it kinda frustrates me that these Bibles were placed the wrong way, and I had to come in and place them into the Fiction section. So what I'm gonna do now, is I'm gonna go up front, I'm gonna explain to them where these Bibles go. Let's go.
[he heads to the front desk, where he speaks with another female librarian (face blurred)]
MIKE LEE: So, this is the situation.
LIBRARIAN 2: Yeah?
MIKE LEE: I found these books ...
LIBRARIAN 2: Mm-hmm?
MIKE LEE: And they appear to be filed in the wrong section. And I just wanted to let you know that, that they appeared to have--
LIBRARIAN 2: They appear to be what?
MIKE LEE: [whispers] They belong in Fiction. They were actually in the Historical section, so ...
[the librarian suddenly realizes what he's getting at]
LIBRARIAN 2: Ooookay. Alright.
MIKE LEE: I just wanted to let you guys know!
[she takes the stack of Bibles from him and puts them behind the desk]
LIBRARIAN 2: Thank you for letting us know.
MIKE LEE: I know, it's a public service. Our taxes, libraries, I just wanted to let you know. Okay?
LIBRARIAN 2: [deadpans] Appreciate it.
MIKE LEE: Thank you.
LIBRARIAN 2: You're welcome.
MIKE LEE: Have a good night.
LIBRARIAN 2: You too.
[he walks out of the library, then throws his gloves into a nearby trashcan]
MIKE LEE: Success!
I started at the library for my " NATIONAL BIBLE RELOCATION PROJECT" ........ Please "Like" my page if you enjoyed the Blasphemy.
I'd love to see people filming themselves moving bibles into fiction sections all across the nation and posting them as a response to this video.
I knew after making the "BETTER BIBLE USES" video that I needed to branch out in my filming style. I'm a terrible actor and I'm usually not impressed with secular humor when it's staged. I honestly felt that moving my shoots from a "safe" environment and out into the public helped legitimize my message. After all, it's religion that lives and thrives on the streets....why wouldn't critical satire of religion do the same?
Now, I always thought the idea behind moving bibles into the fiction section of a bookstore/library was pretty fucking funny. I went online and did some research to see if it had been done before...and all I saw were iphone recordings of really low quality. I saw some Facebook pages dedicated to this same idea...and I knew with a little production behind it - I could make something fairly entertaining.
The camera crew and I met on a freezing Monday afternoon in January and started filming. We were out shooting some random things and drove past a man in front of a Walmart holding a sign saying "god bless." Everyone knows how that turned out...
As it was getting later in the day...the original plan for moving bibles into the fiction section of a Barnes and Noble was scrapped since we were already so close to a library. (Due to the amount of flack I received, if I was to re-shoot this, I would have stuck to the original game plan. A library is probably NOT the best place to make a theological statement.) I went in solo and scoped out the library....and it was packed. There were barely ANY parking spaces left in the lot. Parents, kids - the library was crawling with activity...and I was about ready to barge in with 2 huge cameras, gloves and a face-mask. Nice.
Once we got inside and I started moving the bibles - I was completely shocked that no one was trying to stop me. The scene in the video where I whisper "I can't believe no ones said anything yet....." that wasn't me talking to the audience - that was me talking to the camera crew.
Funny side note: one of the cameras ran out of tape in the middle of this shoot...so me and a camera guy sat huddled with all of our equipment and a stack of bibles in an empty aisle, while the first camera guy ran to his car to get more tapes.
The first day I received almost nothing but positive comments. Thumbs up, likes and shares proved that there was certainly an audience for irreverent secular humor. I went to bed that first night with a massive head rush of positivity. I'd hit a home run.
Then I woke up the next day.
I checked my youtube account and the video literally had about 50 negative comments and was bordering a 40% ratio of "thumbs down." Comments ranged from "stop making atheists look like assholes" to "the douchebaggery is strong with this one." It was a virtual sea of shit comments, thumbs downs and rantings that the stunt was more destructive than positive.Where in the hell did this entire wave of "new" viewers to my channel come from? It took me a couple days, but I found out.
I stumbled across the friendlyatheist.com, who had written a blog entry about the library video...essentially calling me out for being an asshole. What followed on his blog was almost a hundred comments - every single one of them negative towards me and the video. AHA! I'd found the culprit!
The guy who runs the website (Hemant) had been in the news a few years back for selling his soul on ebay. I remember the story...and was flattered that he would do a blog post on me and get me so many comments. Even though the comments were negative, I still believe there's no such thing as bad publicity.(Don't start hating on Hemant for his nay-saying of me.....I'm the one that emailed him in the first place to review my work. And Since this video, I've had more dealings with him ("GOD vs $20 video) and Hemant has always proven professional, opinionated and honest. That makes him a good guy in my perception.)
The biggest critique from the "haterz" of the video, was an apparent mistake regarding the Dewey Decimal system. In the final cut of the video - I tell the librarian that gets me the cart, that bibles don't belong in the "historical section," but in "fiction." This is actually inaccurate...since technically, I got the bibles from the "religious studies" section, not the historical section. (I do counter this statement a minute later in the final cut of the video where I say bibles don't belong in history or the religious section - they belong in fiction.)
I got eaten alive for this error.
Clearly for the sake of pacing, I took liberties with the editing. Later in the video, I pretend to file bibles into the "horror" and "mystery" sections- which is incorrect; because once again (according to the Dewey Decimal system) - the fiction section is filed by author, not genre.
But all that aside - seriously - the video was supposed to be about making a statement as to the historicity of the bible - not my lack of regard for the libraries filing systems.(Besides, if anyone really wants to debate it - the "religious section" is filed under "non-fiction." So check-mate, I win that one.)
Just as a response to the people that say I was a COMPLETE asshole to the librarians and made all kinds of extra work for them...I've dug out a couple clips from the un-used footage. You'll see a couple bloopers, and then at one point I'm refiling some of the bibles that I grabbed earlier - and actually put them back where I got them. (Sure, call me a pussy for posting this after the fact - but I'd already shot the footage I needed....I was trying to make a statement with this video, not be a dick to underpaid librarians.) Also in the outtakes you'll see me make a comment regarding how much I love librarians. (This was while I was waiting for the cart to show up.)