Case Study No. 0842: Indian Trail Academy Librarian

Things To Do At The Library (National Library Week)
1:55
A list of things to do at the library...
Tags: national library week list books comedy dark humor
Added: 3 years ago
From: Frozensquirrel
Views: 8,506

NARRATOR: National Library Week is now! Here are some things to do at the library ...
[cut to the inside of the Indian Trail Academy Library Media Center, as a young male patron (played by Josh Grube) is reading a book entitled "Muscle Cars"]
NARRATOR: Read a book ...
[cut to the female librarian at the front desk handing the patron a book]
NARRATOR: Check out a book ...
[he gives the camera a thumbs up, as heavy metal guitar music plays, then quickly cut to the patron putting a book in the return slot]
NARRATOR: Return a book ...
[cut to the patron reading a copy of Sports Illustrated]
NARRATOR: Read a magazine ...
[the magazine slips down to reveal that he is actually reading a copy of Seventeen]
NARRATOR: Secretly read a magazine ...
[cut to the patron reading a book entitled "101 Easy To Do Magic Tricks"]
NARRATOR: Learn magic tricks ...
[cut to the patron sharpening his pencil]
NARRATOR: Sharpen your pencil ...
[he pulls the pencil out to reveal it's just a stub, as heavy metal guitar music plays, then quickly cut to the patron reading a book entitled "America in the 1960s"]
NARRATOR: Find a date, historical ...
[cut to the patron hitting on a young female patron]
NARRATOR: Find a date for tonight ...
[cut to the patron holding his ear over the printer]
NARRATOR: Listen to the printer ...
[cut to the patron dashing around the bookshelves]
NARRATOR: Play secret agent ...
[cut to the patron staring at another male student at the table across from him]
NARRATOR: Watch people read ...
[cut to the patron with a creepy smile on his face]
NARRATOR: Smile at the librarian ...
[cut to the patron arguing with the librarian at the front desk]
NARRATOR: Annoy the librarian ...
[cut to the patron with his head down on the table]
NARRATOR: Take a nap ...
[cut to a closeup of the patron writing in his notebook, which reads "Hayley Williams, you are the wind underneath my"]
NARRATOR: Write a love letter ...
[cut to a closeup of the patron writing in his notebook, which reads "Dear Kevin Falcon, if you ever want to see your Big Macs again, you must pay me $10000000000000"]
NARRATOR: Write a ransom letter ...
[cut to a closeup of the patron writing in his notebook, which reads "Upon my death I give all my Big Macs to Kevin"]
NARRATOR: Write your will ...
[cut to the patron reading a dictionary and laughing]
NARRATOR: Look up bad words in the dictionary ...
[cut to the patron rubbing sanitizer into his hands]
NARRATOR: Use hand sanitizer ...
[cut to a closeup of a stock portfolio on the computer]
NARRATOR: Check your stocks ...
[cut to the patron leading another young male student to the bathroom (who doesn't seem to be too happy with the help)]
NARRATOR: Help people find the bathroom ...
[he gives the camera a thumbs up, as heavy metal guitar music plays, then quickly cut to the patron looking at a cookbook]
NARRATOR: Find recipes for good food ...
[he turns the page]
NARRATOR: Find recipes for bad food ...
[cut to the patron putting a dollar bill in the middle of a book entitled "Guevara", then putting it back on the shelf]
NARRATOR: Hide money in the books ...
[cut to the patron looking at a book entitled "Tuberculosis" with a horrified look on his face]
NARRATOR: Diagnose yourself with diseases ...
[cut to the patron walking through the stacks, pointing at each book as he passes by]
NARRATOR: And if all else fails, you can count the number of books in the library!