Friday, August 17, 2012

Case Study No. 0508: Mr. Penduhdinkduhdinsk

Your crazy librarian right on your own computer!
Tags: crazymikeyx100
Added: 1 year ago
From: crazymikeyx100
Views: 214

["Library Rules with ... Mr. Penduhdinkduhdinsk" appears on screen, then cut to a young male librarian (brown hair, glasses) being interviewed by a woman]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Hello, we're at the library of Mister Johnson Penduhdink ... duhdinsk, and we're here to ask some questions for our interview documentary. Hi, Mister Penden-duh-dursky. How are you?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: It's actually "Penduhdinkduhdinsk."
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Pendun ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: "Penduhdinkduhdinsk" ... You kinda have to tense up your neck when you say it, "Penduhdinkdaaaaaahhh!" Sorry, I've got a mild form of Tourette's.
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] That's okay ... Um, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, and your mission of the library and what it stands for--
[he adjusts his glasses and composes himself]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, well ... I actually work at the Sherlock Holmes Library, and my main mission is to keep all guidelines safe at the library!
[he twitches again]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, I wanna keep the library a very flowing place, where lots or children are reading books and following the rules! And, um, I think that it's very important to follow the guidelines ...
[he pulls his glasses down and stares into the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: When you're at the library.
[he puts his glasses back]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Okay ... So, first rule. Always keep a safe distance from pedestrians walking on the other side of the library. Now, when you're in the library, you gotta find a book, not messin' around with your little friends like all those little brats do! Y'know what I'm talking about, right?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Of course.
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Anymore questions?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Um ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: I wanna elaborate on these little details!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Okay, what's your favorite book?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um. Well, that's kinda hard. Uh, my favorite book is probably the one with the nice lady with the ... I forgot what they call it. Uh, the big tush!
[he laughs]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: She's right on the cover with that red latex mini-skirt, and it just ... makes me go wild!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Uh, how old are you?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, I'm actually gonna be forty two in the Mayan calendar soon.
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Forty two ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: And there's actually books about that, how ... Y'know, people are saying the world is gonna end and all that, I don't think it is!
[he holds up a plastic coat hanger]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: I don't think it is, and I'm gonna use this for my protection! This is to whip all those little kids out there!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Isn't that just a regular hanger?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Isn't that just a regular hanger, that you find in the closet?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Well, that's a secret and you're not supposed to ...
[he suddenly squints his eyes and grits his teeth]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Tell ... any-body!
[he relaxes]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Um--
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Be safe in the library, careful around the books, don't mess around, and keep your little pie-hole shut!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Okay.
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Because we're very strict in there! Very strict!
[he holds up a shoe and scratches the top of his head with it, then "Our top rule for you fellow citizens!" appears on screen]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Number tres! If you're walking through the library, make sure you're gonna find a book!
[cut to another angle of the librarian speaking directly to the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Number dos! If you're in the library, and you go in the bathroom and you come out, make sure you find a book!
[cut to another angle of the librarian speaking directly to the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: And the number uno rule, is if you're goin' outta the library, make sure you got a book!
[the last sentence is repeated in slow motion, then cut to the interviewer walking through the hall]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] We should go see what Mister Pen-duk is doing ...
[the camera stops as the librarian is dancing awkwardly in a room by himself, then he notices the camera and charges]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: What are you doing?!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Ahhh!

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