Urban Diction: Librarians
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Added: 2 months ago
[scene opens with a young man standing in front of a chalkboard (with "Today's Class: Shit I Hate!" written on it), rapping to the camera]
ALEX FOX: Librarians are glorified disciplinarians! You get paid to shush people, instead you just scarin' them! You sit alone in the dark, rubbin' out sad masties!
["Sad Masty: To masturbate while crying, and using the tears as lubricant" appears on screen]
ALEX FOX: Eating sad betty like a yeti, you nasty! They tell me no rappin' in the library! I say you hangin' where you shouldn't be, you dingleberry!
["Dingleberry: A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones boxers" appears on screen]
ALEX FOX: Yeah, and you smell like a dingleberry too! You know what else I really hate to do?
["Urban Dictionary" appears on screen]
1. Information Master. One to be worshiped.
Librarians wield unfathomable power, bring order to chaos, wisdom and culture to the masses, preserve every aspect of human knowledge and rule the information universe.
by BeckyIB February 03, 2004
2. well-minded angels with little street-sense or business-savvy, love to help and occasionally are reminded why, often experience burn-out due to low pay, bureaucratic management, and the discovery that the homeless and elderly are more familiar with libraries then your son or daughter, aspire to make a difference in a constantly changing world, are some of the most interesting individuals you will ever meet, are more excited about technology then you think.
The librarian smiled politely and said to the crazy patron, "I'm sorry Sir, but I can't help you print your email from hyperspace."
by Lucesco May 22, 2006
3. A chick who seems really sweet and nice and shy when out. But, once you get her alone turns into a raging sexaul freak.
Generally; their sado-masocistic, man beating, she-devils form hell. i.e. They freeakin rock!
Man that chick I met at the bible group was a total librarian.
by Betz March 06, 2005
4. A librarian is a person who is trained to help you find whatever information you might be looking for. Many people have an outdated stereotype of a librarian as an unmarried middle-aged woman who only cares about keeping kids away from her dusty old books. The truth, however, is that librarians come in all shapes, sizes, genders and ages; more important, librarians today are trained in Web design, online research (believe it or not, there's far more out there besides Google and Wikipedia), networking, and the latest Web 2.0 technologies. Books are still a huge part of the job, but librarians these days know far more about technology than most people, and are taught exactly how to use it to help you find what you need.
"The teacher loved my essay about World War I, but I would never have found all that stuff about it if I hadn't asked the librarian for help."
by brianeisley October 04, 2007
5. Technically, the term "librarian" refers to an individual who has obtained a Master's Degree in Library Science or Information Science, but is increasingly used to refer to any of a number of professionals and para-professionals employed in a library. The main function of a librarian is to connect individuals (patrons or customers) with information and entertainment, whether found in print, audio, video, or other (i.e. online) formats.
The librarian used the computer catalog to help Susie find a book about flesh-eating plants.
by dans tes reves October 08, 2007
6. Librarians are very misunderstood.Most people believe that librarians:
* are always under a pile of books
* don't have any connect to the real world
* are bitter and sarcastic
* don't have a life
* own a lot of cats
* are ugly
* are full of useless information
* like to show off their intellectuality
Well guess what,there are some who're like that,but the majority kicks ass.Librarians are the coolest human beings you can find.
WIT :A smart person's weapon against ignorance
LIBRARIAN:A person fighting ignorance with knowledge
WITTY LIBRARIAN:A Smartass
by Luna De Margarita's Sister February 08, 2010
7. A research and information geek.
Librarians desire to make the whole world of information available to people at the time they need it. Frustrated by the lack of interest in anything more complex than Britney Spears' bust size, some librarians withdraw into an autistic fantasy where everything is perfectly organized. Others catch unsuspecting researchers and brain-dump the contents of the British Library on them. Generally possessed of insane amounts of patience, as Garrison Kiellor pointed out.
"If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up." -- comic caption
by Jenne Bunny November 07, 2007
8. Code word for Lesbians when you want to talk about them but do not want them to know you are talking about them.
Wow, there are a lot of librarians in this bar.
I heard your sister is hanging with the librarians now.
by coltrane3456 October 08, 2009
9. Member of the political Libertarian Party.
Dorothy was neither a Republican or a Democrat. She was a member of the Libertarian Party and identified herself as a Librarian.
by Sassy Arkansassy February 01, 2009
10. see ugly old people that know a lot about books.
Can be used as an insult.
Librarians say "get out of my library you unlearning people"
by Merk November 21, 2003
11. General term to describe a library worker. A librarian is traditionally one who collects, catalogs and makes materials (usually books) available for library patrons. Presently, due to the increased popularity of alternative "information sources" (primarily the Internet), one can sense an inferiority complex within the profession as a whole. Because of these feelings of inadequacy, librarians are facing a collective identity crisis, trying to redefine their place in light of the more sophisticated information world. A modern definition that all can agree on has yet to be found. In reality however, the librarian is a breed dying at the hand's of technological Darwinism. Most librarians will vehemently deny this truth, arguing that, basically, the general populace is lost and greatly inconvenienced without their help. Time will certainly show us otherwise.
See librarian catalog. See librarian at the reference desk.
by maffei1 July 17, 2006
12. Those people who go off at you when you talk too loudly.
Librarian: *grabs their megaphone* 'Shhhhh!'
by Rock DJ June 18, 2005
13. A person who is so anal that they have sought a job to define their compulsive tendencies. As librarians, these 'overly enthusiastic' individuals can not only revel in their compulvieness, they can force it on other people too. Librarians often bait people into their dens by offering information or entertainment, usually of the wholesome kind.
Information in Librarian dens (often called Libraries) is sorted meticulously by a variety of nonsensical systems. Some libaries have been known to assign numbers to CDs in the order they purchase them and then organize them by number, effectively hindering any person from finding the CD that they want.
"Shh! This is a library!"
-Common Librarian Quote
by Tim Miller January 03, 2004
14. an overly anal retentive bitch that glares over your shoulder while you typing on the computer making sure the little 10 year old next to you doesn't see the porn youre watching
the librarians at wilson high
by Usomar December 08, 2006
15. a librarian is a weird usually older(middle aged) lonely woman. they have weird quirks and often don't know how to interact with children and normal people. they become librarians because they don't fit into the real world. they are ugly and wear hideous clothes. you can often find that they are obese or chubby. they usually live alone in a lonely little apartment in the suburbs with seven cats and don't answer the door to little trick or treaters or girl scouts. they will yell at you for the stupidest shit. they think theyre making the world better by being librarians but everyone really hates them because theyre mean and EVIL!
that bitch librarian just yelled at me for whispering
by lizzy 2992 November 02, 2005
16. a really big bitch that all of the world wants to die
omg my mom is a total librarian
by voice of the american people April 09, 2005