Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Case Study No. 1954: The Librarian (Missing Link Movies)

The Librarian (Trailer Smackdown 2014)
Billy was just your average, ordinary lonely guy. Until he discovered something... out of this world. As Billy uses the mystical powers of his intergalactic friend to help rebuild his broken life, evil forces from across the galaxy do everything in their power to come in between their love.

The Librarian was selected as a finalist in the 2014 "Trailer Smack-down" competition at The Brattle Theater in Cambridge, MA.

Missing Link Movies is Jasper Yeo, Amos Stillwell, and James Johnston -- three filmmakers in love with video games, movies, and weird media. We make films about games, pop culture, and other related goofs/spoofs. Located in the Greater Boston Area. Please subscribe for laffs.
Tags: Brattle Theatre (Theater) Trailer Smackdown The Librarian (Film Series) Soda Pop Books Library Reading Trailer (Award Discipline) Writing Comedy (Film Genre) Alien E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (Award-Winning Work)
Added: 9 months ago
From: Missing Link Movies
Views: 588

["The following preview has been approved for idiots by The Moms of America Inc." appears on screen, then cut to a nerdy-looking man walking down the street]
ANNOUNCER: Billy was just your average, ordinary, lonely guy.
[Billy stops and opens a garbage can, then cut to a shot from inside the garbage can looking up at him]
[cut to Billy bouncing up and down on a trampoline]
BILLY: I feel like a boy again!
[cut back to the shot from inside the garbage can, as Billy adjusts his glasses and smiles]
BILLY: Yeah, that's trash!
[he chuckles and closes the lid, then cut to Billy's older brother yelling at him]
BROTHER: You don't have a job! You don't have any friends! You're the worst brother!
BILLY: What'm I supposed to do? I'm just a lonely boy!
[cut to Billy walking alone in a cemetery]
BILLY: Pop was a good man!
[he bends down and places a photograph of an older man against one of the tombstones]
BILLY: He just never learned how to read!
[cut to Billy fighting back tears]
BILLY: And it killed him!
[cut to Billy looking at a garbage can that's vibrating]
ANNOUNCER: Until one day ...
[cut to Billy opening the garbage can, as a green glow emanates from within]
ANNOUNCER: Billy found something ...
[cut to Billy watching a little alien puppet "float" out of the garbage can, causing him to scream]
ANNOUNCER: Out of this world!
[cut to Billy talking to the alien puppet]
BILLY: What are you?
LIBRARIAN: I am an arbiter of intergalactic knowledge. I am ... the Librarian.
[cut to Billy sitting on the floor and talking to the alien]
BILLY: Where did you come from?
[cut to a model of a UFO "flying" over a picture of the Earth]
LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Me and my armada fled from intergalactic asshole Crapmanus!
[cut to a man wearing blue facepaint]
CRAPMANUS: I will have all of the knowledge!
[cut back to Billy and the alien]
BILLY: Librarian, you need to use your intergalactic knowledge of knowledge to make me the man my father wasn't!
LIBRARIAN: We can try, Billy. We can try.
[cut to Billy trying to read Stan Berenstain's "Bears in the Night"]
ANNOUNCER: From the makers of a bunch of weird YouTube videos you've never seen ...
LIBRARIAN: Spell it, Billy. Spell it.
[frustrated, Billy throws the book to the ground]
BILLY: I don't know how to do it! I don't know how to read!
LIBRARIAN: Don't worry, Billy. I believe in you.
[cut back to the man in the blue facepaint]
CRAPMANUS: You think that stupid little boy can defeat me, Crapmanus?
[cut to a closeup shot of Billy's brother]
BROTHER: It's either me, or the weird-ass alien!
[cut to his brother (possibly being controlled by Crapmanus?) holding up a large knife]
BROTHER: I'm gonna kill it!
[cut to Billy kneeling on the ground and screaming to the heavens]
BILLY: Nooooo!
[cut to a shot of the alien playing the piano, then to Billy talking to the alien (while holding back tears)]
BILLY: I love you, Librarian!
LIBRARIAN: I love you too, Billy.
[cut to a shot of Billy bouncing on the trampoline in slow motion]
ANNOUNCER: The Librarian ... Rated NC-Seventeen.

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