Case Study No. 1387: Unnamed Male Librarian (ponietus)

librarians!
1:40
they always pop up when you least expect it.
Tags: librarians library questions evil idiots opinions
Added: 2 years ago
From: ponietus
Views: 73

[scene opens with a boy in a red shirt pretending to be a hot dog vendor]
BOY 1: [from off camera] Hey, can I have a Polish dog?
BOY 2: Would you like some relish with that?
[a boy in a purple shirt enters the scene and pushes the other one to the ground]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe you should've asked ...
[he turns and points at the camera]
BOY 3: The librarians!
BOY 1: [from off camera] Bum bum bummmm!
["The Librarian" appears on screen, then cut to the boy in the red shirt pretending to propose to someone]
BOY 2: I have to ask you something.
BOY 1: [from off camera] What about?
[he gets down on one knee]
BOY 2: Carol, will you marry me?
[the boy in the purple shirt enters the scene and punches the other one in the face, knocking him to the ground]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe you should've asked ...
[he turns and points at the camera]
BOY 3: The librarians!
[the boy in the red shirt rolls over and looks at the camera]
BOY 2: Bum bum bummmm!
[the librarian kicks him in the face, then "Again" appears on screen, then cut to another boy in a blue shirt pretending to mug someone]
BOY 1: Kid! Gimmee all your money!
BOY 2: [from off camera] Do I have to?
[the boy in the purple shirt enters the scene and pushes the other one to the ground]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe you should've asked ...
[he flexes his muscle for the camera]
BOY 3: The librarian!
[the camera pans over to show the boy in the blue shirt]
BOY 1: Bum bum bummmm!
[cut to the boy in the red shirt lying in a hammock, when the boy in the blue shirt walks up to him]
BOY 1: Sir, would you like some lemonade to comfort you?
[the boy in the purple shirt reaches in from off camera and pushes him down on top of the boy in the red shirt (knocking him out of the hammock)]
BOY 3: [from off camera] I don't know! Maybe you should've asked ... a librarian!
BOY 2: [from off camera] Bum bum bummmm!
["Again" appears on screen, then cut to the boy in the red shirt speaking directly to the camera]
BOY 2: Tommy, do you think this is fun?
[the boy in the purple shirt enters the scene and pushes the other one to the ground, then repeatedly sticks his finger into his chest]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe! You! Should! Have! Asked! A! Librarian!
[he walks away]
BOY 1: [from off camera] Sorry I missed the "bum bum bum," guys ... I have a cold today.
["One more time we promise" appears on screen, then cut to the boy in the red shirt speaking into his cellphone]
BOY 2: Um, hello? Can I order a large pizza?
[the boy in the purple shirt enters the scene and punches the other one in the face, knocking him to the ground]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe you should've asked ...
[he puts his hands on his hips and strikes a dramatic pose]
BOY 3: A librarian!
[he bends down and picks up the phone]
BOY 2: Bum bum bummmm ...
[he walks away while holding the phone]
BOY 3: Nice phone ...
["(sorry we lied)" appears on screen, then cut to the boy in the red shirt talking to the boy in the purple shirt]
BOY 2: Hello, are you the librarian?
[the "librarian" punches him in the face, knocking him to the ground]
BOY 3: I don't know! Maybe you should've asked the librarian!
BOY 2: [pause] Bum bum bummmm ...