Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Case Study No. 0471: Bellingham Public Librarian

Boycott the Library!
Edward the nerd decides to boycott the local library, after he is kicked out for using his cellphone...
Tags: Edward Gibbs Jacob Micah Knapp brothers nerd boycott library comedy funny cellphone protest documentary
Added: 6 years ago
From: Jakeknapp
Views: 3,131

[scene opens inside the Bellingham (Wa.) Public Library, as a nerdy-looking young man is sitting at a table and talking into his cellphone]
EDWARD: Okay, "The Loving Surrender." Have you heard of that one?
[an older female librarian approaches him]
EDWARD: I-I'm sorry?
LIBRARIAN: No phones in the library.
EDWARD: Oh, really? Oh. Well, if it's an emergency, is that possible, or--
[cut to Edward storming out of the library, tripping and dropping his books]
EDWARD: Geez! Kinda clumsy today ...
[he picks up his books and walks out the door, muttering to himself]
EDWARD: No cell phones, that's a joke! Gimme a break!
[cut to Edward protesting outside of the library, holding a sign that reads "No Cellphones Allowed. Boycott the Library!"]
EDWARD: No cellphones in the library!
[he puts the sign down and looks around]
EDWARD: Where's all these people at? It's Saturday!
[he checks his watch]
EDWARD: Jesus!

Rosebud Productions Presents

[cut to Edward speaking with a female patron outside the library]
EDWARD: They don't let you have cellphones inside!
PATRON 1: Well, that's a good thing ...
EDWARD: Why? I mean, what if it's an emergency and you need to talk to someone on the phone?
PATRON 1: Then I would go find the payphone and call somebody.
EDWARD: Well, what if I don't have any pocket change?
PATRON 1: Well ...
EDWARD: I mean, sometimes emergencies--
PATRON 1: Then that's your problem.
EDWARD: Sometimes emergencies--
PATRON 1: If it's an emergency--
EDWARD: Not necessarily, some people are poor! I mean, do you have a heart against people who are rich?
PATRON 2: It's not--
[cut to Edward holding the sign over his head, as a male patron wanders by]
EDWARD: And I'm just trying to get my point across here ... Uh, boycott the library!
PATRON 2: You know, some of those cellphones do have awfully loud ring systems ...
EDWARD: Oh, sure they do! I have mine on vibrate, so y'know, it's just like I feel it in my pocket, check it real quick ...
[he pretends to hold a phone to his ear]
EDWARD: Hello?
[cut to Edward pacing back and forth, whining with his hand to his forehead]
EDWARD: Well, they know my face now!
[cut to a woman in a passing car yelling out her window]
DRIVER: No cellphones allowed!
EDWARD: No cellphones allowed!
[she starts to drive off]
DRIVER: Hell yeah!
[cut to Edward yelling to someone off camera]
EDWARD: Do you go to WWU, 'cause you seem like a student!
[cut to another male patron getting into his car]
PATRON 3: Well, good!
EDWARD: Boycott--
PATRON 3: It's good they don't let them have them!
EDWARD: Well, why not? I mean, you can talk can't ya, in there?
[he laughs]
EDWARD: It's the same as talking ... Think about it!
PATRON 3: Oh no ...
EDWARD: Think about it ...
[cut to another shot of the man getting into his car]
EDWARD: Um, no. It was an emergency, actually. I, I had an emergency matter. My wife had explosive diarrhea.
[cut to another shot of Edward holding the sign above his head]
EDWARD: Boycott the library! I have something to say here, people! I will get my message across!
[cut to another older male patron (wearing shorts) exiting the library]
PATRON 4: No, but you need to go in the library, my friend!
EDWARD: I do? Oh, okay ...
PATRON 4: You Sure do!
EDWARD: Why's that?
[the man ignores him and keeps walking]
EDWARD: Um no, I'm a geophysicist. What's your IQ? Looks like you need to get some pants on!
[cut to another male patron talking to Edward]
PATRON 5: Because the sign says--
EDWARD: I don't see any signs.
PATRON 5: I'll show the sign to you.
EDWARD: I have problems reading.
PATRON 5: It's right here ...
[the man points to a sign posted on the door, but Edward just points to his glasses]
EDWARD: I just got a new subscription, and I have problems reading. So, I mean, how fair is that for me? I mean, it's like, discriminating!
[cut to the female librarian standing outside the library and talking to Edward]
LIBRARIAN: You're being very loud.
EDWARD: I am. Well, I ... Now, the problem, the volume of my voice is a problem?
[she turns and goes back into the library]
LIBRARIAN: That's fine, as long as you do it outside ...
EDWARD: Uh, no problem, no problem. I won't be coming in there anytime soon ... You fat [beep]. That's what I have to say about that.
[he starts walking away, muttering to himself]
EDWARD: What's your name? How come you talk loud? How come you wear glasses, huh? Oh, so suddenly I'm the bad guy here? Okay, I see how it is ...
[he holds the sign above his head and starts yelling]
EDWARD: Boycott the library!
[cut to another shot of Edward yelling some more]
EDWARD: This isn't China! And it certainly as hell's not Russia! Boycott the library!


From westernfrontonline.net:

Brothers Jake Knapp, 27, and Micah Knapp, 23, are the main creative minds behind Knapp Brothers Entertainment, but their brothers Marcus Knapp, 25, and Jared Knapp, 29, are sometimes featured in their videos.

Jake Knapp stars in their upcoming parody as Edward Gibbs, a recurring nerdy character in their films, who likes to protest against anything.

"He is a likeable character, but he also likes to get a reaction," Jake said. "Gibbs is a character that we created out of things we see in everyday life. A lot of our characters are based off real experiences."


From myspace.com:

Uhm, hello. My name is Edward Gibbs. I am a scientist/teacher, and I love teaching youngsters about science and geometry and math and physics, and how to acquire dates, etc. I firmly believe in and use my first amendment rights, because freedom of speech is just great. I regularly attend protests whenever my busy schedule allows. I love reading, although I have recently decided to boycott the library, because they don't allow cell phones inside. Just ridiculous! I love all kinds of people, especially people who are environmentally friendly. I also love dancing, learning, and experiences.

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