1966 Model Librarian
Sometimes we feel like things never change in the library...This is part of a longer video I produced on Classroom Teacher and Librarian collaboration.
Tags: loopy library librarian digital mckillop valentine reading parody elementary teacher professional development comedy support
Added: 2 years ago
[scene opens with black and white stock footage featuring a group of people standing outside of an observatory]
MOVIE NARRATOR: You are about to know the thrill of seeing that which has never been seen before! You're about to enter a beautiful exciting wonderful new world ... The world of 1960!
[a shooting star appears]
MOVIE NARRATOR: For the first time in history, you'll see ...
[cut to shooting star "landing", as new footage (still in black and white) showing the star transforming into a stereotypical female librarian (grey hair in a bun, thick glasses, frumpy dress, sensible shoes) hunching over and putting a finger to her lips]
NARRATOR: It's here! It's now! It's groovy! The 1966 model librarian! No changes for over forty years! Now that's quality!
[cut to two young girls reading books in the library, as "Powerful standard shusher!!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: All of these features are standard ... A powerful shushing finger, able to quiet even the noisiest of children!
[the librarian sneaks up behind them and shushes them]
[cut to a sign reading "No students at the card catalog! You might mess up the card order", as the girls are standing around reading books]
NARRATOR: Each librarian comes equipped with a standard card catalog!
["No additional cost!!!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: So difficult to understand that only they control the flow of information!
[she points at the sign]
[she shooes them away]
GIRLS: Aww ...
[the girls leave, as the librarian suddenly hugs the card catalog and chuckles in a menacing fashion]
[cut to the librarian approaching the girls and holding a rulebook, as "Rules for everything!!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: And just look at this list of rules for proper library use!
[she hands the book to the children, who can barely lift it off the ground since it's so big and heavy]
[cut to the girls pleading with the librarian to help them, but she's sitting at the desk with "blinders" (i.e. two piece of paper) glued to the sides of her glasses as "Space age blinders!!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: Let's not forget the blinders, so the librarian can't be distracted!
[cut to one of the girls trying to get the librarian's attention, but she's looking the other way while a picture of a block of ice is super imposed on her shoulder as "Brrr!" flashes on screen]
GIRL: Um, excuse me?
NARRATOR: Each 1966 librarian also comes equipped with this, a cold shoulder!
CHILD: Please, can you help me?
[cut to the librarian making an ugly face at the camera]
NARRATOR: And a piercing stare that will have you looking under your bed!
[cut to the little girls dropping their books and hugging each other in terror]
[cut to the girls sitting and reading, when the librarian appears and grabs the books out of their hands]
NARRATOR: But wait!
[she hands them each a much thicker book, as "Titles such as: Little Women, The Iliad, Moby Dick" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: Each librarian also has plenty of thick books with no distracting pictures!
[cut to the girls reading a book and giggling, as the librarian approaches while "The biggest ears allowed by law!!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: And of course, don't forget the standard big ears ...
[the librarian takes the girls and bonks their heads together]
NARRATOR: To pick up the sound of the slightest bit of fun so it can immediately be extinguished!
[cut back to the original image of the librarian hunched over in shushing mode, as "Unchanged for forty years!" flashes on screen]
NARRATOR: Don't miss out! The 1966 model librarian! She keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going ...
[the screen fades to black]