Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Case Study No. 0136: Mrs. Beamster/The Laminator

The Libraian From The Black Lagoon - Full Film!
The search is over. I finally found the 2007 Weston Woods program of The Librarian From The Black Lagoon. Since I can't find one on YouTube, I'm probably the first one to upload it.

Please Enjoy!

Taken from "The Teacher From The Black Lagoon" 2010 DVD.
Tags: black lagoon
Added: 11 months ago
From: gforcebackup
Views: 13,000

[scene opens in Hubie's classroom]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Today, our class is going to the library. We've been hearing some really scary things about the place!
HUBIE: Oh no!
[Hubie starts to imagine what the library must be like]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] The library is somewhere behind the boiler room. It's called "Media Center of the Earth!"
[the librarian appears as an ugly pink monster wearing a blue dress]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Misses Beam--
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Misses Beamster is the librarian. The kids call her ... The Laminator!
[the librarian grabs a talkative student and puts him into a weird machine]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] They say she laminates you if you talk in the library!
[the librarian whistles, and a three-eyed reptilian monster comes and takes the newly-laminated student away]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] She also has a library assistant named Igor!
[cut to Hubie creeping along a dark dungeon hallway]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] You know you're getting close to the library, by the signs on the wall ...
HUBIE: [reading the signs] "No Talking Beyond This Point" ... "No Whispering Beyond This Point" ... "No Breathing Beyond This Point!" [holds his breath]


[the librarian appears before a group of students]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Everyone says the best part of a library visit is story time. All the kids stand at attention, while Misses Beamster reads one of the cards from the card catalog.
LIBRARIAN: [clearing her throat] "Percy Woodrow Benter. Basket Weaving. 96 pages, illustrated" ...
[the students give a round of forced applause]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Or, if you catch her in a good mood, she'll recite the Dewey Decimal System by heart.
LIBRARIAN: [closing her eyes and concentrating] Botany, 580. Budgets, 332. Business, 3-3-8 ... [gets emotional]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] They say Misses Beamster has a crush on Mister Dewey, and that she carries his picture in a lead locket around her neck.
[she kisses the locket, then starts running around the library and laughing]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] She also has rubber stamps on the soles of her shoes, and wherever she steps, it says "Overdue!"
[she stops when she hears students whispering]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] She seems to have ears on the back of her head. If she catches you whispering ...
[she flips a lever that sucks the students up into a series of tubes that deposits them into the laminating machine]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] You're laminated!


[Igor wheels a projector to the middle of the room]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Then, she shows you slides of all her vacations since 1902! She goes to the same place, every year. The Library of Congress.
[the students feign excitement]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Misses Beamster also subscribes to three magazines ... "The Mortician's Monthly," "The Complete Pamphlet of Zip Codes," and "Spots Illustrated: The Magazine for Cleaner Laundry." These, you do get to read.


[Hubie's fantasy ends]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Well, it's time to go ...
[cut to the students walking down the hallway]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] As we get near the library, there are lots of signs.
GIRL: [reading a sign] "Books Are Fun!"
BOY: [reading a sign] "Books Are Joy!" I'm so happy!
BOY 2: [reading a sign] "Read!"
GIRL 2: [reading a sign and chuckling] "We Spray For Bookworms!"
HUBIE: [reading a sign] "Books Can Take You Everywhere!" Cool!
[the door to the library opens]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] We march right in and sit down in little chairs ... These must be the ones without glue. Misses Beamster comes over with an armful of books ... and puts them on the table!
[Hubie recoils in horror, but Misses Beamster appears as a normal female librarian]
LIBRARIAN: Hello, children!
HUBIE: Hello, Misses Beamster!
LIBRARIAN: Hi, kids ...
HUBIE: [in voice-over] Then she smiles and hands me one. It's a book of knock-knock jokes!
LIBRARIAN: I saved this one for you ...
HUBIE: [to another student] Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Dishes.
BOY 3: Dishes who?
HUBIE: Dishes a nice place to be!
[they both laugh]
HUBIE: [in voice-over] I'm going to love the library!
HUBIE: Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Rita.
BOY 3: Rita who?
HUBIE: Rita good book at the library ... Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Anita.
BOY 3: Anita who?
HUBIE: Anita check out this book ... Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Lettuce.
BOY 3: Lettuce who?
HUBIE: Lettuce come back to the library tomorrow ... Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Danielle.
BOY 3: Danielle who?
HUBIE: Danielle in the library, whisper ... Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Ammonia.
BOY 3: Ammonia who?
HUBIE: Ammonia a kid, but I have a library card ... Knock knock.
BOY 3: Who's there?
HUBIE: Thaddeus.
BOY 3: Thaddeus who?
HUBIE: Thaddeus the best book I've ever read!
BOY 3: Okay Hubie, I have one for you ... Knock knock.
HUBIE: Who's there?
BOY 3: Candice.
HUBIE: Candice who?
BOY 3: Candice be the last knock-knock joke?
[they both laugh]



The animated film centers around a boy named Hubie, the star of the many "Black Lagoon" books by Mike Thaler and Jared Lee. Hubie's class is going to visit the library for the first time, and rumor has it the library is a dark dungeon of rules and misery. Presiding over the ghastly proceedings is Mrs. Beamster, better known as: The Laminator! Hubie is sure he's doomed...but when he actually gets to the library, will things be as he expected?

The film The Librarian from the Black Lagoon is based on the book of the same name, written by Mike Thaler and illustrated by Jared Lee. Galen Fott adapted and directed. Alexander Gould (voice of the title character in "Finding Nemo") stars as Hubie, with Diana Canova as Mrs. Beamster. Animation is by Bigfott Studios. The music is composed by Scotty Huff and Robert Reynolds. The film is produced by Paul R. Gagne and Melissa Reilly at Weston Woods Studios, Inc.

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