Friday, December 9, 2011

Case Study No. 0112: Mariah

fall in love with a librarian
I am a library school student. So, I of course adore this scene.
Tags: libraries love troy abed
Added: 8 months ago
From: IrishTwilight
Views: 11,263

[scene opens inside the Greendale Community College library, as Troy and Abed are staring at the attractive young librarian while she is reshelving books]
TROY: [whispering] Why does being a librarian make her even hotter?
ABED: They're keepers of knowledge. She knows the answers to all of our questions ... "Will you marry me?" and "Why are there still libraries?"
TROY: I wanna be a book. She could pick me up. Flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew weiners in me.
ABED: Mm-hmm. Hey, maybe if we're too loud, she'll shush us ... [yells] Books!
[the librarian looks up]
TROY: Pretend like you're asleep!
[they both put their heads down on the table and start loudly "snoring"]
MARIAH: [gets a confused look on her face, then returns to shelving books]
[Jeff enters the library]
TROY: [stops pretending to sleep] Jeff! What do you do when you and your best friend wanna ask the same girl to the Valentine's dance but neither of you have dibs because you both fell in love with her at first sight?
JEFF: Well, I don't believe in dibs, or love at first sight, or love, or best friends, or doing things. But it's good you brought this to me.


[Troy (carrying a briefcase) and Abed walk up to the librarian sitting at her desk]
ABED: Ahem! Mariah, my name is Abed Nadir. My associate, Troy Barnes.
TROY: Charmed, I'm sure.
MARIAH: Are you the guys that keep staring at me and intermittently yelling out "Books"?
TROY: The very same. We are both interested in taking you to the Valentine's dance, but we are also best friends with each other.
ABED: It is of utmost importance we protect that friendship from the stresses of courting you, so we're trying to be as direct and above-board with this as possible.
TROY: Will you go to the dance with one of us, and if so, which one?
MARIAH: We need to get something straight first. This is the cutest thing that's ever happened to me ...
[Troy and Abed high five each other]
MARIAH: But, I don't know either one of you.
ABED: Give us a moment ...
[the walk off to confer with one another]
ABED: New proposal. Get to know us at the dance, and decide there which of us you'd like to see again.
MARIAH: Okay, deal.
ABED: Yes ...
MARIAH: [points to Troy] What's in the briefcase?
TROY: Oh, tacos. You want one?
TROY: Great. We really wanted them.
ABED: Yeah, we're gonna eat them.



Valentine's Day is supposed to be about hearts, romance and "I love you," right? Well, not at Greendale, where Cupid seems to be MIA. On this Feb. 14 (OK, Feb. 10, but that's only because of NBC scheduling), friendships are sorely tested.

Let's start with Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi), a match made in nerdy heaven if there ever was. They've both fallen for Greendale librarian Mariah (Maite Schwartz). I'm sure it has nothing to do with her low-cut top and glasses. No, not at all. They finally introduce themselves -- M: "Are you the guys who keep staring at me and intermittently yelling out 'Books!'?" T: "The very same." -- and ask her to the Valentine's Day dance. "This is the cutest thing that's ever happened to me."

OK, they're set. Now it's on to group therapy ... I mean a gathering of the study group in the library. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) oh, so nonchalantly waltzes in and brags about her new friend Page (Brit Marling), who is "A friend of Ellen," as Annie (Alison Brie) puts it. A crabby Pierce, meanwhile, is popping painkillers like candy. He's confronted and storms out. Annie and Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) suggest an intervention, and they appeal to Jeff (Joel McHale) for help. He's having none of it, and then starts a fight about the Barenaked Ladies. BNL is just the surface, of course. Really, it's all about Jeff not wanting to be the center of this solar system of misfits.

Jeff is then buttonholed by resident Brit Ian Duncan (John Oliver), who wants to come over and watch Man United play Liverpool on Jeff's big screen ("God gave you a British friend and a massive TV for a reason."). Gravedigger's biscuits, indeed.

Meanwhile, Annie finds out that Page is straight, and that she's only hanging out with Britta because she thinks Britta is a lesbian. Of course, Britta is doing the same thing. Page and Britta decide to do a little consciousness-raising at Greendale and go to the dance together. Perhaps it's Puck in the house, and not Cupid after all. And then there's Mr. Mood Swing Pierce, who's orbiting outer space. No little green men, though -- just the Tiny Man You See When You Take Enough Pills (a "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"-size Andy Dick) in the water fountain, who informs Pierce that he's not sharing him with the group. Will he "Be Mine," or not? Stay tuned, kids.

Night falls and the action moves to Jeff's strangely bland living room, where Duncan's proudly wearing red and white (Is he supposed to be from Merseyside? He doesn't sound like it). Ding, dong, it's Chang (Ken Jeong) at the door, who's traded in his usual guayabera for an outfit in Liverpool FC's colors too and who promptly destroys Jeff's lamp with some nunchuks. Nice going. Further testing the Winger welcome mat, Chang calls up Star-Burns (Dino Stamatopoulos) and pals for a "Wingding at Wingers."

Back at Greendale, Mariah the librarian is wooed with the "Saw" franchise and premium movie channels (Abed) and slick dance moves (Troy). The slick moves win out and soon the awkward couple is on the dance floor, while Pierce is in his own little world and Britta and Page are giving Greendalers "something to really talk about." How do you top that? Try a little lip lock, where it comes out that neither is actually a lesbian. Well, that's one shallow friendship down the drain. Britta and Annie, on the other hand ... shippers, avert your eyes; fan-fiction writers, ready, set, go!

It also looks like the bromance survives Mariah -- our favorite nerd boys wind up in a sweet Valentine's Day hug after Troy dumps the librarian for calling Abed weird. Will these two ever find girlfriends? "There's someone out there for us." Awwww.

Sweetness is not what's happening at Jeff's apartment, however, where the party's out of control and Chang is doing laundry in Jeff's dishwasher and wearing Jeff's underwear (OK, that's beyond creepy). Turns out Chang's wife found out about Shirley and kicked him out for good. And he's still got nowhere to go after Jeff gives him the boot too. Quickly followed by the rest of the party. A puzzled Jeff asks Duncan, "What is it about me that broken people flock to me? Is it my height? Do huddled masses mistake me for the Statue of Liberty?" Great writing there.

Our reluctant hero figures he'll have 39 messages waiting from a certain six people when he turns his phone back on, but is surprised (humbled?) to find none. Guess they don't need him after all. So he rescues Chang from the dumpster and calls the six who mean the world to him to apologize: "Caring about a person can be scary. Caring about six people can be a horrifying, embarrassing nightmare, at least for me. I love you guys." I knew it! Under that glib exterior lies a guy with a heart. And he's going to need it with Pierce. Pierce, oh, Pierce, what have you done to yourself?



'Community' Season 2, Episode 15: "Early 21st Century Romanticism"

To lesbian or not to lesbian? To threesome or not to threesome? To stay addicted to painkillers or revert to being an insufferable ass? These are the questions in this week's 'Community.'

Starting with Troy and Abed both lusting after the same hot librarian. Being best friends, they approach Jeff for advice on how not to ruin their friendship over a lady, but Jeff doesn't believe in love or best friends or anything, apparently.

Jeff is gonna have to open his heart one day, and in a great classic sitcom-y move, today is that day people.

But back to Troy and Abed and BOOKS! When the guys approach Mariah the librarian with their dating proposition, she adorably replies: "This is the cutest thing that's ever happened to me." You better believe it is lady, and Troy and Abed's instant high five then was even cuter.

They're so in synch, as was their decision to let her get to know them both at the dance before choosing. Sadly, any fan of the show -- or anyone who saw Troy's sweet dance moves -- knows that Abed probably isn't her type, but luckily that doesn't lead to too much heartbreak.

Meanwhile back at the dance, Troy and Abed were pulling out all the geek stops vying for Mariah's love. I mean, it might just sound expensive to Mariah, but for a girl like me, Abed really is the complete package. "HBO, Showtime, Starz, Starz Black." Sure his two-hour analysis of the 'Saw' movie franchise might've been a bit painful to sit through, but as Troy said in his defense "There are eight of them, and they're two hours a piece and the first one did redefine the genre ... "

You can't not smile at how close those two have become, and when you realize that no woman, no matter how hot and dressed like a librarian she is, could ever come between them.



Welcome to the Greendale Community College Library Page. The staff of gifted librarians is available, during working hours of course, to service all your book and research needs.

The GCC library is a wonderful place to meet students from other academic disciplines and see the variety of academic opportunities that GCC offers first hand. But remember, it is a library, so keep the chatter to a minimum.

Quiet and calm, Greendale's library is the perfect place for reading course material, writing a research paper, surfing the World Wide Web, flipping through magazines disguised as academic journals, soul-searching or manipulating a classmate into friendship under the guise of a "study date."

Our librarians look forward to your visit, during working hours.

Monday-Thursday: 8:00am - 8:00pm
Friday: 8:00am - 5:00pm
Saturday: 10:00am - 4:00pm
Sunday: A day of rest, Closed

Study rooms are available to students, faculty and staff of GCC during working hours. They must be reserved at least one hour in advance with the librarian on staff. Most of the study rooms are equipped with WiFi, a chalkboard, chalk, doorways, a table, chairs and some audio/visual devices.

If you have additional questions regarding the study rooms, please speak to a librarian at the information desk.

Please remember that the library is a communal place for all GCC students, faculty and staff. Please discard all trash when leaving a study area. And, due to frequent misuse, all window blinds must be left open or raised. Prepare accordingly.

While conversing with your fellow colleagues is natural, we ask you to please keep the noise level to a minimum in respect to others that are studying silently.

Food and drinks, with the exception of closed water bottles, are strictly forbidden in the library. However, they are allowed, within reason, within the study room walls only. Librarians will be walking around and monitoring the floors during working hours. If you are asked to discard of food or drink, please do so quickly and regretfully, as it is for the protection of our books and materials. No exceptions will be granted.



"Donde Esta La Biblioteca" is a basic Spanish phrase which means "where is the library?" in English. It's also remembered by second language students as one of the first phrases taught in beginner's Spanish class.

On YouTube, it also refers to a series of short rap videos based on the closing credits scene of American comedy series Community, wherein Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) are on the couch, throwing rhymes in Spanish vocabularies they've just learned in class.

The second episode of Community, Spanish 101, aired in the US in late September 2009.

Lyrics (Original in Spanish):

Donde, esta, la biblioteca.
Me llamo T-Bone
La arana discoteca.

Discoteca, muueca, la biblioteca
Esta en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca.

Manteca, bigotes, gigante, pequeno
La cabeza es nieve
Cerveza es bueno.

Buenos Dias, me gusta papas frias
Los bigotes de la cabra
Es Cameron Diaz.

Lyrics (English translation):

Where is the library
My name is T-Bone
the disco spider.

Disco, doll, the library
Is in big mustache, dog, lard.

Lard, mustache, huge, little
head is ice cream,
beer is good.

Good day, I like cold potatoes,
the goat's mustache
is Cameron Diaz.



[at the school dance]
Abed Nadir: And that is my analysis of the "Saw" movie franchise. That about does it so, um, I think it's time for you to choose.
Mariah: Abed, could you get us some punch?
Abed Nadir: On it! [he leaves]
Mariah: You guys are really cute together.
Troy Barnes: Thank you.
Mariah: But, y'know, having to actually choose, I--
Troy Barnes: Hey, we both agreed to this. We're both very comfortable with each other, so I won't be--
Mariah: No, I choose you, Troy.
Abed Nadir: [returns with the punch] Pew! Punch!
Troy Barnes: [flustered] Hey, Abed ...
Abed Nadir: Hey!
Troy Barnes: I, um ... She just, she chose me.
Abed Nadir: [nonplussed] Cool ... [hands him his cup of punch] You can have this, then. Thank you, Mariah, have a great night. [he leaves]


[Troy and Mariah are dancing]
Troy Barnes: So, curious about one thing ... What was wrong with Abed?
Mariah: Well, I mean, he did talk about the "Saw" movies for two hours.
Troy Barnes: Yeah but, there are eight of them, and they're two hours apiece, and the first one did redefine the genre, and--
Mariah: Troy, I would love to be his friend ...
Troy Barnes: I know you would, it's incredible!
Mariah: But romantically, he's ... you know.
[cut to Troy storming out of the dance and into the hallway where Abed is standing]
Troy Barnes: I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!
Abed Nadir: What happened?
Troy Barnes: She called you weird!
Abed Nadir: ... I am weird.
Troy Barnes: Not as weird as her! Who the hell is Nicholas Nickleby? She wouldn't shut up about it!
Abed Nadir: Mm, I know ...
Troy Barnes: There's someone out there for us.
Abed Nadir: Happy Valentine's Day.
Troy Barnes: It is now.
[they hug, as Mariah walks past them]
Troy Barnes: Ignore her.

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