Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Case Study No. 1997: Dina Dubov

The Librarian - Film Trailer for the Brattle Theatre 2014 Trailer Smackdown
Fictitious film trailer created for the 2014 Brattle Theatre Trailer Smackdown in Cambridge, MA.

Written & Directed by Roger Metcalf
Starring: Lacey Hochman & Aaron Block
Production by Roger Metcalf
Music by Lino Rise
Tags: librarian heinlein stranger in a strange land tom sawyer soviet russia Enceladus (Moon) saturn space thriller movie trailer film contest film festival boston cambridge
Added: 10 months ago
From: rogerdalemetcalf
Views: 158

[scene opens with a young female librarian (short black hair, overcoat) speaking to a male patron in a bad Russian accent]
LIBRARIAN: Welcome to the moon, Mister Badcocke ...
["The Librarian" appears on screen]
PATRON: I was told you were the librarian.
[she rolls her eyes, then launches into what appears to be a pre-rehearsed "sales pitch" in a monotone dialogue]
LIBRARIAN: We have wide variety of reading material for you to enjoy here during your stay.
["A faraway moon, knownst to some as Enceladus ... " appears on screen]
PATRON: I was hoping to check out a book by Heinlein.
[she holds up a book with the cover title "Stalin in Not So Strange (But Rather Quite Nice) Stalingrad" by Heinlein/Dubov]
LIBRARIAN: We have "Stalin in Not So Strange But Really Quite Nice Stalingrad!"
[cut to the librarian flipping through the pages of the book]
LIBRARIAN: This may be little advanced for you ...
[she tosses the book off camera]
["Is knownst to others as New New New Stalingrad" appears on screen]
LIBRARIAN: How about instead ...
[she holds up another book, with the cover title "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer in Siberia" by Twain/Dubov]
LIBRARIAN: "Adventures of Tom Sawyer in Siberia!"
[cut to the librarian opening the book]
LIBRARIAN: In it, Huckleberry Finn gets sent to gulag for stealing loaf of bread!
[cut to another shot of the librarian speaking to the patron]
LIBRARIAN: "Book" so soon, Mister Badcocke?
PATRON: I need a book on botany.
["A ninja ... a flower ... a wish ... " appears on screen]
LIBRARIAN: Hmph, botany! What, you--
[he holds up a small flower pot]
PATRON: I have a plant.
LIBRARIAN: You have a plant?
PATRON: Flower, actually. It's dying.
["To check out a book to save his dying flower ... " appears on screen]
LIBRARIAN: Well, of course it's dying, Mister Badcock! We are in middle of great Soviet winter!
["But in Soviet Russia ... " appears on screen]
PATRON: Still, I'd like to save it. I'm pretty handy, actually, on account of my ... ninja training.
[she holds up another book, with the cover title "Keep Your Plants Alive On The Moon" (where "Alive" and "The Moon" are written in tiny font) by Dubov]
LIBRARIAN: "Keep your plants" ...
[she lowers her voice]
LIBRARIAN: "Alive" ...
[she talks loudly again]
[she lowers her voice again]
LIBRARIAN: "The Moon."
["Book checks out you!" appears on screen, then cut to the patron reading from the book]
PATRON: "In Soviet Russia, you do not garden plants. Plants garden you. To keep plant alive, feed plant. In Soviet Russia, plant feeds you. One bag Soviet plant food, available in downtown Moscow between One and One Thirty Four every third Tuesday."
LIBRARIAN: Mmm. Helpful, yes?
PATRON: Right, but ... how do we get to Moscow? I'm assuming they're talking about the Moscow on Earth, not on Enceladus.
[the librarian gets an angry look on her face]
LIBRARIAN: Is New New New Stalingrad! Not Enceladus!

"The Librarian"

Written & Directed by Roger Metcalf

Dina Dubov (Librarian) - Lacey Hochman
Jeremy Badcocke (Ninja) - Aaron Block

Camera, Sound & Film Editing by Roger Metcalf

Music by Lino Rise
www dot linorise dot com

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