Thursday, February 5, 2015

Case Study No. 1823: Unnamed Female Librarian (Massage Mustard)

Massage Mustard, Ep. 11 | Librarian | Chicago Comedy Film Festival
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An improvised web series from Jack Farrell.

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Added: 5 months ago
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[scene opens with a man (wearing a fake-looking blonde wig) talking to a young female librarian (curly black hair, glasses, blue sweater, white blouse covered with flowers)]
LIBRARIAN: I received your electronic message--
LIBRARIAN: It came directly into my Wild Blue account, and I logged on, and I understand you're ... you're massaging.
["Massage Mustard, An Improvised Experiment" appears on screen, then cut back to the two shaking hands (as the man pulls his hand away in apparent pain)]
REGINALD: Ah, that's a handshake!
LIBRARIAN: Oh, it's just ... I've got strong wrists from all that gardening I've been doing!
REGINALD: Jeez ...
[he starts putting on a pair of gloves]
LIBRARIAN: Yeah, in and out!
REGINALD: You do everything! A librarian, gardener ...
REGINALD: You're so handy!
LIBRARIAN: Well, I try! Y'know what they say about idle hands ...
[cut to a security officer in the room eating a banana]
LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Ya gotta use your hands!
[cut back to the masseur and the librarian]
REGINALD: That's very true.
LIBRARIAN: It's very important ...
REGINALD: If you don't use your body, it falls apart.
LIBRARIAN: Ya gotta stay young, ya gotta stay active, ya gotta use your brain! I do crosswords, I do--
LIBRARIAN: I do ... I do, uh, reading.
REGINALD: Well hey, pop a squat and-and-and I'll start on the shoulders, I guess.
LIBRARIAN: Oh, sure! Sure!
[she sits down]
REGINALD: And work down ... Just be careful, it's a workout bench slash massage bench.
LIBRARIAN: Well, it's got padding, and that's all that matters for my little boney bum!
[he laughs, then starts adjusting his gloves]
REGINALD: I'm just gonna fix my gloves, they're not working with me today ...
LIBRARIAN: Okay ... I gotta warn ya, I-I played some sports in my day. My muscles are not small, so you can really be rough with me!
[cut to a closeup of the back of the librarian's neck, which features a giant tattoo reading "Born 2 Kill"]
REGINALD: [from off camera] Alright, here we go ...
[cut back to the masseur, as he looks at her neck and jumps back in shock/fear]
REGINALD: Oh god! Oh! Whoo! Oooh!

Michael Carothers
Alex Moffat
Becca Levine

Director and Creator
Jack Thurston Farrell



The Story
Reginald Sunday(Mike Carothers) was put on room arrest in his departed sons's old bedroom after his wife left him. He was required to do a years worth of community massage to avoid jail time for impersonating a cop. This all took place under the watchful eye of Officer Crumpkey(Alex Moffatt).
From Jack Farrell.



Monday, August 4
at 8:30pm - 12:00am in CDT

CIC Theater
1422 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, Illinois 60613

This is the official launch party of the completed series Massage Mustard. All are invited. We will view whole series which will be 90mins, break for beverages and bathrooms then a 20 min improv set with all who were involved. There will be free drinks, specials and more. No cost to go.

Popcorn Productions is the result of comedic minds Jack Thurston Farrell and Michael Carothers. Sit back relax and enjoy this ride :)

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