Freaky Flyers - Myrna Bookbottom Cutscenes
From the game Freaky Flyers, all of Myrna Bookbottom's cutscenes. Jolly good show.
Tags: Freaky Flyers Myrna Bookbottom Margaret Basher
Added: 2 years ago
[scene opens with a young woman (with a bun in her hair and wearing glasses) sitting in a room filled with books and cats]
NARRATOR: Myrna Bookbottom. Librarian. Cat lady. Extremely polite.
MYRNA: Hello. I'm very pleased to meet you, guv'nah.
NARRATOR: Now, what is a nice young woman like you doing in this race, Myrna?
MYRNA: Well, you see, I have always wanted a life of adventure. But I work in the local library, and things just never seem to happen there ... until Margaret Basher came along.
NARRATOR: Margaret Basher?
MYRNA: She is my alter ego. When I get angry, I turn into Margaret ... and bad things happen.
NARRATOR: But you seem so sweet and helpless ... And boring. Boringly helpless.
[her eye begins twitching and her head starts spinning, before she spins around and transforms into Margaret]
MARGARET: [sneering] Helpless, eh?
[she pulls out a machine gun and begins firing randomly]
NARRATOR: The moral is, you can't judge a Bookbottom by its cover ... [chuckles]
[cut to Myrna flying her plane]
NARRATOR: Godspeed, Myrna Bookbottom.
[the plane spins around and transforms into Margaret's jet/rocket]
NARRATOR: Oh, and Margaret Basher ...
[Myrna is flying through the air, carrying a Yeti in a large net attached to her plane]
MYRNA: Upon my return to England, I'm going to report Andre Latoilette to the Humane Society. It is dreadful how he's been treating this poor little apeman!
[the French-Canadian lumberjack Andre Latoilette flies into the scene]
ANDRE: Put down my property immediately, femme d'Angleterre!
MYRNA: Well, if you ask politely, perhaps I shall ...
[she suddenly transforms, to Andre's surprise]
MARGARET: Squirrel-sucking tree hugger! Just try and stop me!
[she flies off with Andre in pursuit]
[the screen reads "Somewhere between Canada and Mexico ... " as Myrna parks her plane at a hangar and enters the womens' bathroom]
ANDRE: [enters the scene] Hello? Madame Bookbottom?
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Yes? Who is that?
ANDRE: It is I, Andre Latoilette!
MARGARET: [from behind the door] Oi! It's the squirrel-sucking tree hugger!
ANDRE: I wanted to apologize for yelling at you earlier. I get sensitive with matters concerning my Bigfoot.
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Oh, that's quite sweet of you, love.
MARGARET: [from behind the door] Yeah, real sweet ... now bugger off!
ANDRE: Excusez moi?
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Call meeee ...
MARGARET: [from behind the door] On second thought ... don't, you tosser!
[dejected, he walks off]
ANDRE: [sighs] English women! They are so complicated ...
[the sound of a flushing toilet is heard]
[camera zooms in on book entitled "Dewey Decimal Digest: Pip! Pip! Jolly Good Show!" with a picture of Myrna on the cover]
NARRATOR: Librarian card-holders with overdue books! Is it laziness, or a desperate cry for help? Details inside ... Also, an update on flying librarian Myrna Bookbottom, who is about to begin the next leg of the Freaky Flyers race in Chicago. For more information about Chicago, see "North American Reference, Comma, Chicago" in the card catalog.
[the two Marcel Moreso Brothers are sneaking around an open field, while Margaret spies on them from inside a trashcan]
MARGARET: If I ever get me hands on those blokes, I'll crush their crumpets!
[the smaller brother notices Margaret and winks at her]
MARGARET: Although, he is kinda cute for a mime ...
[she suddenly transforms]
MYRNA: I quite fancy the little chubby one ... [giggles]
[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: The Brits Are Back!", now with Margaret on the cover]
NARRATOR: After many high-level talks, it has been agreed that the industry-standard shush for a loud library visitor will be 2.5 seconds. Anything longer is frowned upon, as it only adds to the noise problem ... We also catch up with Myrna Bookbottom, who's fresh off a Nose Goblin killing spree, and is now set for the next stage of the Freaky Flyers race in Danger Island!
[Margaret is flying her jet, when the mysterious Pilot X pulls up alongside her in his spaceship]
PILOT X: Hold on, violent yet somehow very attractive Earth creature! I have a proposal for you!
MARGARET: How 'bout I propose to demolish you and your spacecraft?
PILOT X: Aren't you tired of that wimpy Myrna Bookbottom? Wouldn't you like to take control, to be Margaret Basher ... forever?!
MARGARET: I'm listening ...
PILOT X: Then I'll make you a deal! I'll make sure you never have to be Myrna again, if you help me win the race!
[she begins thinking it over, when she transforms back into Myrna]
MYRNA: Oh, hello ... Uh, what may I do for you, sir?
PILOT X: How would you like to make a deal?
[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: Oi! We Kicked Their Bloomin' Crumpets!!"]
NARRATOR: Emily Stokes Trent, a librarian from Newbury-On-Tyne, tells the Dewey Decimal Digest that library hours have been extended there in recent years to accomodate slower readers ... Also, we check in on Myrna Bookbottom, who is now in the Freaky Flyers finals in Germany!
[Myrna flies alongside the Marcel Moreso brothers]
MYRNA: Bonjour, monsieurs!
[the fatter one smiles upon seeing her]
MYRNA: I baked you a cake, you attractive little French street performer!
[she holds out a cake, but the smaller brother slaps it into her face]
MYRNA: Oh my ...
[the smaller one laughs silently, but the fatter one is angry and starts choking him ... the smaller one responds by repeatedly punching him in the face]
[meanwhile, Myrna removes the cake from her face to reveal that she has transformed into Margaret]
MARGARET: Somebody's going to pay for this ...
[the smaller of the Siamese twin mimes continues punching his brother in the face]
MARGARET: [rubbing her hands together] And I know just who ...
[Margaret grabs the smaller one by his ear and pulls him in for ... a kiss]
[Myrna crosses the finish line to win the Freaky Flyers race]
MYRNA: So much excitement! A good spot of tea is just what I need ...
[she pulls out a cup and teapot, which suddenly starts vibrating as Pilot X pops out of it]
PILOT X: Aha, Myrna Bookbottom! Just as I planned! You're the winner of the Freaky Flyers competition! The weakest, most timid aviator in the game! You'll have no chance against me!
MYRNA: Well, I shall do my very best. At least I will not have to turn into that dreadful Margaret Basher again.
PILOT X: Um, well, actually you will. Because I have no idea how to do anything about that!
MYRNA: What? Why, you ... you lied to me!
[she transforms into Margaret]
MARGARET: I challenge you to a battle in outer space!
PILOT X: Hey, I'm the one who does the challenges!
[both are captured in tractor beams and are lifted off the ground]
PILOT X: Is this womens' lib? Because if it is, I-I don't like it!
[after defeating Pilot X, Myrna finds herself inside Buckingham Palace]
ROYAL GUARD: [from off camera] Your Majesty, Myrna Bookbottom.
[the Queen of England approaches as Myrna curtseys]
QUEEN: Myrna Bookbottom, you are hereby awarded the highest medal of the British Empire.
[she tries to pin the medal to Myrna's lapel, but misses and pricks her]
[this causes her to transform into Margaret]
MARGARET: God won't save the Queen this time, dearie!
QUEEN: Oh my!
[she tackles the Queen and begins beating her up off camera]
[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: Wedding Belles! Couples to Honeymoon in Hawaii ... and Libya"]
NARRATOR: Wedding bells are ringing! The librarian social event of the year ... well, really the only librarian social event of the year ... okay, ever, was the marriage of Myrna Bookbottom and Margaret Basher to their respective Marcel Moreso brother. Well, when asked what attracted her to her husband, Myrna answered "He's very quiet." Sounds like true love, indeed!
Freaky Flyers is a 2003 video game developed internally by Midway San Diego for Xbox and PS2 while the GameCube version was developed by Point of View, Inc. and published by Midway Games. Freaky Flyers is a comical, plane racing game which incorporates other modes which make the game more open to larger audiences. The game is suitable for up to two players although some modes are not available in single gameplay.
Myrna Bookbottom is a meek, soft-spoken, well-mannered, cat loving librarian from England. A lifetime of reading adventure novels has left her with a desire to lead a life of real adventure outside of books. This has caused her to enter the Freaky Flyers competition for some real adventure. It is also implied that a lifetime of being ridiculously proper and restrained with no outlet has caused her to develop an alter ego in the persona of Margaret Basher. Myrna dresses in 1940s era female aviator's garb, large round glasses, and keeps her red hair in a typical librarian's bun. During the course of the competition, Myrna develops a crush on "the little chubby" Marcels Moreso Brother, eventually marrying him at the end of her storyline.
Margaret Basher is Myrna Bookbottom's much more violent, outspoken, and downright rude alter ego. It's implied that Myrna developed Margaret after being so prim and proper with no outlet for her more undesirable traits. They share a "Jekyll and Hyde" type of relationship. Anytime Myrna gets angry or frustrated, she turns into Margaret and, in Myrna's words, "bad things happen." Margaret's solution to just about every problem is violence and more violence. The official biography in the game instruction manual states that Margaret has an extensive small arms collection and kicks cats in her spare time. Both Myrna and Margaret wish they could be rid of the other, and both make deals with Pilot X to help him win the competition, provided he helps them become separate. When he reneges on the deal, they challenge him to a final battle in outer space. This ending is slightly different from the other characters, where Pilot X challenges the winner of the race to a final battle for the title of Freaky Flyers Champion.During the course of the competition, Margaret develops a crush on the skinnier Marcels Moreso Brother, following a spirited chase across a European meadow, and eventually marries him at the end of her storyline. Margaret dresses in a black open collared shirt, white pants, knee high black boots, a red tie, and a pair of rainbow lensed sunglasses. Her red hair flows freely with the addition of a black hairband.