Sexy Librarians v2
Jake and David sedue librarians to get out of paying overdue fees. Contains an alternate scene.
Tags: sex sexy librarian librarians library books
Added: 5 years ago
[scene opens with two young guys sitting on the couch talking to each other]
DAVID: So Jake, you remember those books that we rented out from the library?
JAKE: Oh yeah, for that ... that like, school project thing?
DAVID: Yeah. The biography.
JAKE: Oh, yeah yeah. What about it?
DAVID: I just got a letter saying that we owe, like, three hundred dollars for them.
JAKE: Seriously, you lost yours? Yeah, I lost mine too.
DAVID: Yeah, so did I.
JAKE: How many did you take out? One?
DAVID: Yeah, one.
JAKE: So if I took out two, that means ...
DAVID: You probably owe a lot.
JAKE: Like, six hundred! So, what do I do?
DAVID: I dunno, we gotta go ... We gotta go see those librarians.
JAKE: Yeah, but we gotta have sex with their asses, dude!
[they both laugh]
DAVID: I know! But, I mean, we gotta do what we gotta do, right?
JAKE: Yeah, I guess ... So what do we do, like, seduce 'em or something?
["If we have sexual intercourse with those physically unattractive librarians ... " appears on screen]
DAVID: Yeah, we gotta try to hit on 'em.
JAKE: Yeah, but they're so ugly!
[" ... our fees will be waived." appears on screen]
DAVID: Yeah, but it's worth getting--
JAKE: Yeah, I guess they don't get laid that often, so it can't be that hard. Probably pretty desperate.
DAVID: Yeah, we gotta get that fee waived.
JAKE: Yeah ...
[cut to Jake and David spying on two young attractive female librarians from the bookshelves]
DAVID: Hey dude, look at those librarians!
JAKE: I know!
DAVID: Yeah, I know, they're so hot! They're not like those old librarians!
JAKE: Yeah, the digusting ones with the bugs up their asses.
DAVID: That one's got a nice ass!
[a young guy wearing glasses walks up behind them]
NERD: You didn't hear about the old librarians, Betty and Veronica?
DAVID: Wait, what?
NERD: They left because they were sleeping with the customers in exchange for books.
JAKE: No way, that was our plan!
[the nerd laughs]
DAVID: That's what we came here for!
JAKE: So what, are we screwed now?
NERD: Oh no, these librarians here, they're really ... Like, they know their Dewey Decimal System!
JAKE: Oh yeah! Did you, uh, did you do that with the old ones? Did you, uh, sleep with them?
NERD: Uh, no ...
JAKE: No? Oh, that's too bad ...
NERD: I tried.
JAKE: You tried? You asked to?
JAKE: Oh well. So, what, do we got a chance, you think?
[he gives them two thumbs up]
[cut to David as he walks up to one of the librarians and drops a book]
DAVID: Excuse me, ma'am. You dropped something.
HOLLY: Oh yeah. Your eyes, in my cleavage! Might wanna fix that!
[cut back to Jake and David hiding]
JAKE: Smooth, dude!
DAVID: Do better, buddy!
JAKE: Dude ...
DAVID: Go ahead!
JAKE: Watch and learn.
[cut to Jake talking to the other librarian]
JAKE: Nikki, uh, do you mind if I call you Nikki?
[she turns to leave]
JAKE: How about ... Nicole?
[she ignores him]
JAKE: Uh, I have a library card, because I'm definitely checking you out.
NICOLE: Oh please! I've rejected better-looking men than you!
[she leaves, so Jake walks dejectedly back to David]
JAKE: Dude, it didn't work.
DAVID: Oh, was that, was that your good line? About the library card?
JAKE: Well, it usually works, dude!
DAVID: Yeah, I heard that.
JAKE: Dude, they're just like, they're harder than usual.
DAVID: No, dude, that was miserable. I'm sorry, but--
JAKE: Oh, yours was better?
DAVID: Yeah! It was!
JAKE: Oh yeah? Oh yeah?
DAVID: Yeah, she looked at me!
[cut to David walking up to Holly as she types at her computer]
DAVID: Excuse me. Do you have an atlas? Because I'm lost in your eyes.
[she doesn't look up from her computer]
HOLLY: You're not looking at my eyes.
DAVID: Uh, how do you know?
HOLLY: Because I know you're not looking at my eyes.
DAVID: No? Alright, well tell me, what line works on you?
[she takes off her glasses]
HOLLY: What's your name?
DAVID: [pause] David.
DAVID: Yes. What's your name, beautiful?
[she puts her glasses back on]
HOLLY: The name's Holly, but you can call me "Never."
DAVID: Geez! Why are you being so feisty? I, I was just trying to call you beautiful ...
[cut to Jake waiting in the stacks as Nicole walks into the scene]
JAKE: Geez, you took long enough.
NICOLE: You were waiting for me?
JAKE: You're worth waiting for ...
NICOLE: You're not!
JAKE: Well, I can do things to you that you couldn't--
NICOLE: Oh really?
[cut to Holly and Nicole talking alone in the stacks]
NICOLE: Did you hear the stuff those boys were saying to me?
HOLLY: Oh my god, yes! That was hilarious!
NICOLE: Well, they seem to have some balls, huh?
HOLLY: Oh yeah ... but then again, don't all high school boys act like that?
NICOLE: Well, until they meet us!
HOLLY: Oh yeah, we whip 'em into shape!
NICOLE: Mm-hmm. Care to have a bit of fun?
HOLLY: Well, you know what they say ... All work and no play makes Nicole and Holly two very dominant vixens!
HOLLY: Mm-hmm. Ready?
NICOLE: Let's go.
HOLLY: Let's go.
[cut to Holly looking at a book on the bottom shelf (bending down in a seductive pose) as David walks in and bends down next to her]
DAVID: Hey, you look busy down here. What're you doing?
HOLLY: Well, I have a lunch break in a couple minutes. You wanna join?
DAVID: I'd love to ...
[cut to Nicole reading a copy of "Are Men Necessary?" by Maureen Dowd, as Jake walks up to her]
JAKE: So, what's your ... uh, favorite book?
NICOLE: C'mere, I'll show you ...
[she grabs him by the collar and drags him to a secluded section of the stacks, then shows him a copy of the "Position of the Day Playbook"]
JAKE: Uhhh ...
NICOLE: See, I like the kinky sexual stuff.
JAKE: Ahhh ...
[she gets real close and puts the book right up into his face]
NICOLE: Like waxing your entire body, and penetrating you with my penis ... How's that sound, my detachable penis?
JAKE: Uhhh ...
NICOLE: How does seven-point-five inches sound? Eh?
JAKE: Uhhh ...
NICOLE: Eh? Do you like the kinky stuff?
[Jake bites down on his notebook and begins whimpering]
JAKE: Uhhh ...
[cut to David and Holly by themselves in the parking garage]
DAVID: So Holly, where's your car?
HOLLY: Well, who said that we needed to get to my car? Why can't we just do it here? Now?
[she pushes him up against wall, as David slowly slides down to the ground]
HOLLY: See, I don't like waiting ...
DAVID: Really? Neither do I.
[she takes off her jacket]
HOLLY: So, uh ...
[she crouches down in front of him]
DAVID: Wait, what're you, what're you doing? I--
HOLLY: No, what do you mean, what am I doing?
DAVID: No, I have a girlfriend.
HOLLY: So? I'm engaged!
DAVID: Yeah, but ... I have a girlfriend.
HOLLY: So, I'm engaged and ...
[she suddenly stops and asks sad]
HOLLY: Oh my god ... You don't think I'm pretty.
DAVID: No no no no, you're pretty.
HOLLY: You don't want me!
DAVID: Look, I have a girlfriend ...
HOLLY: That's what my fiance says, he won't sleep with me because I'm pregnant! I mean ...
DAVID: [pause] You're pregnant?
HOLLY: Yeah! I'm pregant, but I mean--
DAVID: Are you really pregnant?
HOLLY: That doesn't make me unattractive, does it?
DAVID: But ... Wait, you're pregnant?
[cut back to Nicole getting uncomfortable close to Jake]
NICOLE: Ever heard of a Dirty Sanchez?
JAKE: Uhh ...
NICOLE: It's when I stick my finger up your butthole, stick it in your mouth, then stick it into mine. How does that sound? Wanna try it?
[Jake runs away, then cut back to David and Holly]
DAVID: I really don't think I should do this with a pregnant girl.
HOLLY: Why not? What's wrong? What could go wrong?
DAVID: What couldn't go wrong?
HOLLY: [pause] You just don't think I'm pretty anymore, do you?
DAVID: No, no that's not it. That's not it ...
[two random guys walk through the background]
DAVID: I think this guy thinks you're pretty too. But that, that's besides the point.
[she starts to cry]
DAVID: No, seriously, you're pretty and everything, but please--
HOLLY: Well, why won't you sleep with me?
DAVID: Because you're pregnant!
[she gets up and leaves]
DAVID: I'm sorry ...
[cut to Nicole and Holly talking]
NICOLE: Well, those boys are definitely paying their late fees!
HOLLY: Oh yeah, they're not coming back here anytime soon, try to clear 'em!
[Nicole looks at something off camera]
NICOLE: Hey Holly, check it out ... Two more victims.
HOLLY: Mm-hmm, you know what that means.
NICOLE: Mm-hmm, put on your glasses and lower your blouse ... It's time for us to get back to work!
HOLLY: Oh yeah!
Nicole ... Melody
Holly ... Sophia
Jake ... Aiden
David ... Alex
Library Nerd ... Austen
Reader ... Justin
Created by ... Sophia and Austen
Written by ... Sophia
Directed by ... Austen
Edited by ... Austen
"Straight to ... Number One (Dreamcatcher's Mix)" ... Touch and Go