Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Case Study No. 1926: Dexter Ward and Ephram

Teri Copley - Just Give Me Action - Video Clip from the movie Transylvania Twist
You have to see her shooting machine gun, punching people's faces, blowing TONS of stuff up and throwing a cream pie in the Ayatollah's face! She's Hillarious!

Teri Copley in the Horror Parody Spoof "Transylvania Twist" directed by Jim Wynorski in 1989, produced by Roger Corman.


I don't like stamp collecting, I don't play chess

I'm just not used to second best

I don't watch Wheel of Fortune, or meet the press

I'm not the kind who gets depressed

Just give me action, your love is the attraction

It's pure satisfaction, it's...

I don't mind blasting out of here, screw gun control

I want some fun before I get old

I don't mind causing accidents, I'm on a roll

Who cares if I'm on parole

Just give me action, your love keeps me in traction

It's pure satisfaction, it's...

Let's start a revolution, call-in John Wayne

Your love is driving me insane

Let's storm a foreign missile base, start World War 3

Knock-off the Ayatollah for me

Just give me action, your love is the attraction

It's pure satisfaction, it's...

Come on and give me a little action, will you hon?

Vocals: Stephanie Stephens
Music: Chuck Cirino
Lyrics: Jim Wynorski

Teri Copley (born May 10, 1961) is an American actress. She was best known for her roles on the American television series We Got it Made and I Had Three Wives. She posed nude for Playboy for the November 1990 issue.

Shortly thereafter, Copley became a born-again Christian and slowly eased her way out of celebrity Hollywood.

As of December 2005, she was still living in California and very involved with her family. She is a published author of Conversations Between a Girl and Her God and professional speaker. Her first interview in nearly a decade appeared around June 2005 on Free MP3 Bible website and again at Christian Hollywood website where she spoke about appearing in Playboy.
Tags: Terri Copley Transylvania Twist Jim Wynorski Roger Corman Just Give Me Action Stephanie Stephens Chuck Cirino Soundtrack 1989 Catchy New Wave Not of This Earth We Got it Made Had Three Wives Playboy Kelly Maroney Cameo NRA girl shooting machine gun fighting Conversations Between Girl and Her God Christian Hollywood Free MP3 Bible
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[Dexter is speaking with his uncle, an older male librarian, in the stacks of the Arkham Public Library]
EPHRAM: It's a great favor to ask, but--
DEXTER: Hey, don't, don't ... Y'know, I owe you more than I could ever repay. You gimmee that address, I'll find that book!
EPHRAM: Orlock's daughter is named Marissa.
[he takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to him]
DEXTER: Marissa ...
EPHRAM: You can contact her here.
[cut to the Miracle Pictures studio, where Marissa is filming a music video]



"Transylvania Twist"

A librarian from Transylvania must collect the fines on a 200-year overdue book "The Book Of All Evil." During his trip to the castle he meets Marissa a gorgeous rock star and heir to the castle's fortune. There they must confront the only other heir to the fortune and the book Uncle Byron; and Uncle Byron has a very very very broad smile.



One of the last motion pictues of the 1980s with male librarians, "Transylvania Twist" (1989), is a lighthearted comedy about vampires. The film, a horror spoof, is pure verbal and visual comedy, belonging to and resembling the type of comedy showcased in "Airplane!" and the many films that attempted to emulate its success.

The story begins in Arkham, Massachusetts, as librarian Dexter Ward (Steve Altman) attends the funeral of his Uncle Ephram (Jay Robinson), head librarian of the Arkham Public Library. As Dexter views the body, his uncle rises up from the casket and grabs his nephew's tie, insisting that Dexter must find The Book of Ulthar. Ephram climbs out of the casket, berating the physician who pronounced him dead and the mortician who failed to embalm him.

The next scene is the film's only library scene. As Ephram and his nephew walk through the nonpublic book stack area, Ephram explains the importance of The Book of Ulthar and urges Dexter to locate Lord Byron Orlock (Robert Vaughn) and recover the book that he checked out two decades ago. As they walk through the book stacks, Ephram and Dexter engage in the following type of verbal banter that permeates the film:

EPHRAM: Ulthar was a sorcerer at a time before history when all the world was in darkness and chaos prevailed.
DEXTER: Oh yeah, I remember, the Reagan administration.

The film's treatment of Ephram and Dexter as librarians is inconsequential, as all characters are subjugated to the film's overall purpose of comedy. Ephram, however, decidedly approximates the stereotypical image - elderly, receding hairline, and dressed in dark slacks, red sportscoat, white shirt, and neckwear that resembles an ascot scarf. Dexter wears stonewashed jeans and a blue long-sleeve T-shirt. Both librarians wear white athletic shoes.

Dexter's pilgrimage to Transylvania is successful; The Book of Ulthar is recovered. The filmmakers attempt to be cute with this film, from its opening scene through its closing credits, as evidenced by the last two lines of the credits:

"The Book of Ulthar"
Available soon in paperback



The film proper sees Dexter Ward (Steve Altman), whose name is a Lovecraft reference, attending the funeral of his uncle Ephram (Jay Robinson) who wakes in the coffin, as he wasn't actually dead. Ephram is the librarian of Arkham University and "accidentally" lent one Marinas Orlock (Howard Morris) the Book of Ulthar, many years before, and has never had it back. Ulthar was a sorcerer who managed to bind the Evil One and the book contains the counter-spell that will release the entity and bring chaos to the world. He has now discovered that Marinas has a daughter, Marissa (Teri Copley), and sends Dexter to see if he can locate her father and bring back the book.

Marissa is a pop star, shooting a video in LA. Unfortunately we have to sit through the whole God-awful faux pop song before the film continues. There is another musical number at the end unfortunately. In a, frankly, un-amusing scene, where the two enter an old sit-com set and so are in black and white and have a laugh track playing against their conversation, we discover that she doesn't know where her father is, indeed she has never met him. A messenger enters with a telegram from Victor Van Helsing (Ace Mask) informing her that her father has died and she must go to Transylvania for the reading of the will.

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