Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Case Study No. 1713: Unnamed Female Librarian (Screwballs)

Screwballs library scene
A funny scene from a 1983 B-movie.
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Added: 3 years ago
From: lasergravy
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[scene opens with an older female librarian (grey hair pulled back in a bun, glasses, grey cardigan sweater, white blouse, black skirt) carrying a large binder while skulking around a high school library, when two female students (sitting at a desk with a giant black "Quiet!" sign) start whispering to one another when her back is turned]
[the librarian suddenly turns around and shushes them]
LIBRARIAN: Shh! No talking!
[they look back down at their books, so she continues on her way ... until she notices a male student humming while reading his book, so she grabs it and shoves it into the boy's mouth]
[cut to the librarian walking past two female students conversing in sign language ... so she slams her binder on the table, grabs their hands, and starts screaming]
LIBRARIAN: I said no talking!
[she pulls her sweater tightly around her shoulders as a point of emphasis, then turns as the PA system comes on]
MALE VOICE: Attention students, there will be a meeting today for all members of the glee club ...
[the librarian stares angrily at the speaker on the wall where the announcement is coming from, so the voice (seemingly sensing her annoyance) changes to a whisper]
MALE VOICE: Attention students, there will be a meeting today for all members of the glee club ...
[satisfied, the librarian smiles and continues her rounds]
[cut to a table where all of the male students (except for one nerdy looking individual) are looking at adult magazines hidden in their textbooks]
[cut to the librarian seated at the front desk, reading from her binder and smiling, when she suddenly notices that the students are starting to let out low moans of excitement]
[cut back to the male students, as the camera pans down to show one of them has a throbbing erection (which is somehow making a noise like a beating heart)]
[cut back to the librarian (as the moaning and the "throbbing" are getting louder), as she rips off her glasses and screams at the top of her lungs]
[the moaning stops (and their erections immediately subside), as everyone in the library turns to look at her]
[cut back to the librarian, as she puts her glasses back on and smiles, then returns to reading from her binder]
[cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of the librarian, revealing that she's actually hiding a magazine full of nude male models (their genital hidden behind orange stickers)]
[cut back to a shot of the librarian, when she notices that the moaning has started again, so she gets up with an angry look on her face]
LIBRARIAN: That's it! This table, out!
[cut back to the students as they literally carry the table out of the library, leaving the nerd all alone in his chair (reading a copy of "Hypnotism Made Practical")]


From google.com:

"Screwballs" features the antics of students at Taft and Adams (T&A) High School. Supporting actress Carolyn Tweedle portrays a librarian in stereotypical fashion in a comedy sketch. The scene begins with the librarian attempting to maintain silence. As soon as she walks by two girls at a table with a large QUIET! sign, they begin whispering. The librarian immediately returns to the table, uttering "Shush. No talking."

As she continues walking, the librarian hears a young student humming while reading a paperback; the librarian grabs the book from the student and shoves it into his mouth. She next passes two students using sign language to communicate; the librarian slams her notebook on the table, grabs their hands, and screams, "I said no talking!"

A loud announcement then comes over the school's public address system; the librarian snarls at the speaker, and the message is repeated in a very low whisper. The librarian then smiles and returns to her desk where she relishes looking at a magazine containing photographs of nude young men with red stickers placed on specific parts of their anatomy.

At a nearby table, four boys are looking at oversized books, all with adult magazines inside the open books. The students become visibly excited while looking at the magazines, causing the librarian to scream, "Quiet!" Silence returns momentarily, but the boys continue looking at the magazines. The librarian reacts by walking toward the table and announcing, "That's it. This table out!" The four boys stand up and carry the table out of the library.

Tweedle's makeup and dress project the stereotypical image. A bespectacled blonde (French braid on both sides, pulled into a braided bun at nape), Tweedle wears a long, pleated black skirt and a pink short-sleeve blouse (plain collar) under a gray cardigan sweater, with an extremely large white handkerchief hanging out of the sweater's right pocket. She repeatedly juts her chin out and up, or pulls her chin in and down, both expressions of disapproval. A mustache line, undoubtedly penciled in, is faintly visible on her upper lip. Because the librarian enjoys adult magazines and does not wear a wedding ring or band, she is evidently a single "only 38" woman.

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