Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Case Study No. 0684: "Nothing Beats a Real Flesh and Blood Librarian"

Nothing Beats a Real Flesh and Blood Librarian
Librarian vs Google
Google is not the only source of information- try your library!
Tags: librarian google libraries library flesh blood Information book reading
Added: 1 year ago
From: TAFESILibraries
Views: 363

[scene opens inside the TAFE (NSW) Sydney Institute library, as a female student is searching through the stacks, when the living embodiment of Google (i.e. a young man wearing a "Google" t-shirt over a black spandex body suit that obscures his face) jumps into the scene and frightens her]
GOOGLE: Hello! I'm Google, the world's most powerful search engine! How can I help you?
STUDENT: Uh, hi ... Yeah, I'm just looking for information on how--
GOOGLE: How to make your own bread!
STUDENT: [pause] No ...
GOOGLE: How to ... defeat the Rebel Alliance?
STUDENT: No, I'm just looking for information on how to feed my goldfish, actually.
[he reaches off camera and produces a laptop]
GOOGLE: Here ya go!
[she smiles, but then points to the screen]
STUDENT: Uh no, this is on salmon fishing.
GOOGLE: Oh, you're right ...
STUDENT: That's not what I want.
[he starts typing]
GOOGLE: How about that?
STUDENT: Ugh, that's on dead fish!
[she pushes the laptop away]
GOOGLE: Uh, yeah ... Uh, lemmee see--
[he starts typing again, when an older female librarian approaches]
LIBRARIAN: Hi, I'm the librarian, can I help you?
STUDENT: Oh, hello! Yes, I was just looking for some information on what to feed my goldfish?
LIBRARIAN: I'll just be one moment.
[she turns and leaves]
STUDENT: Okay, thanks!
[Google looks up from the laptop and points at the librarian]
GOOGLE: Huh, this is gonna take forever!
[he continues typing, as the student shrugs her shoulders]
STUDENT: We'll see ...
[the librarian almost instantly returns and hands the student a book]
LIBRARIAN: Here you are!
LIBRARIAN: Does that help you?
STUDENT: Yeah, that looks exactly right, thanks so much!
[the student turns to leave, but Google stops her and points at the librarian]
GOOGLE: No one needs you here, they have me!
LIBRARIAN: That's where you're wrong ... I give relevant and updated resources. Your information is so extensive, it can be overwhelming! Even sometimes unreliable and downright misleading!
GOOGLE: Such as?
[she takes the laptop and holds it up to the camera, showing the homepage for Elvis-Is-Alive Dot Com]
LIBRARIAN: Well, I've heard that Elvis is alive and well!
GOOGLE: Oh, yes he is! He's working in a fruit shop!
[she holds up the laptop again, showing the homepage for Cosmic Conspiraces ("Evidence of NASA Airbrushing Out Moon Anomalies")]
LIBRARIAN: And Neil Armstrong never landed on the moon!
GOOGLE: Ah yes, that's a conspiracy ... They filmed it in a studio!
LIBRARIAN: And apparently, men can get pregnant!
[she holds up the laptop, showing the homepage for the RYT Hospital-Dwayne Medical Center]
GOOGLE: [pause] Yeah, not so sure about that one ...
[he makes the "so-so" hand gesture]
LIBRARIAN: Well, you're a useful corporate algorithm, whereas I'm a trained human, with no hidden agenda ... except for helping you find the information you need!
GOOGLE: Yeah, but I've got all the stuff the kids want! I've got movies, music, all the good things!
LIBRARIAN: Most libraries have DVDs, CDs, books, magazines, comics ... and it's all free!
GOOGLE: Hey, my stuff's free, too ... and most of it's legal! You're making me very angry! I'm what the kids want, I'm hip, and I'm now!
LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
GOOGLE: I'm not leaving without a fight!
[the librarian (who suddenly has an over-sized boxing glove on her right hand) punches him in the face, as he goes down in a heap ... vanquishing her foe, the librarian turns and speaks directly to the camera (as the student smiles behind her)]
LIBRARIAN: Nothing beats ... a real flesh and blood librarian!

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