Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Case Study No. 0514: "1 800 Librarians"

1 800 Librarians: Hot Smart Girls
1:27
Call Now to have your brain teased! (note number is NOT real)




Sketchywhenwet
Freddy
Fenix
Ilectra


Music by : Ilectra
Filmed by : Edwoodv2
Edited by: Sketchywhenwet
Tags: 800 900 hot girls smart bods books brains librarian teacher tease call line freddy fenix Ilectra funny comedy
Added: 3 years ago
From: Sketchywhenwet
Views: 797

[scene opens with three young women (wearing glasses and fanning themselves with books) as they look seductively into the camera while "sexy" guitar music plays]
["Hot Smart Girls Ready for You, Reading Books" appears on screen]
[cut to one of the librarians carrying a stack of books and speaking directly to the camera, as "Smarts not tarts!" appears on screen]
FREDDY: Don't waste your smarts on tarts!
[cut to another librarian sitting on the bed with a book]
ILECTRA: Let a girl who can read ... give you what you need!
[cut to the third librarian speaking directly to the camera, as "Stacked" appears on screen]
FENIX: We're stacked ... with books!
[cut to Freddy sitting on the toilet, with a book in her lap]
FREDDY: Do you want a librarian whose night deposit is always open?
[cut to Ilectra speaking directly to the camera, as "Brains and Bods" appears on screen]
ILECTRA: We may wear glasses, but we have nice ... assets!
[cut to Fenix lying on the bed, with a book entitled "I *Heart* Female Orgasm"]
FENIX: And only the square root of ten dollars!
["1-800-Librarians, $3.19 per min" appears on screen]

Monday, August 20, 2012

Case Study No. 0513: Keith Johnson

Librarian's Blues
2:43
This is a blues song about . . . well, listen to the lyrics. As a lark I wrote this song about overdue library books. Maybe only librarians can relate. Written, performed, sung, and played by Keith Johnson. But don't blame me. The "B-B-B-Bad to the Bone" reference is from a George Thorogood song of the same name. I do play a little non-librarian, non-blues music on the side. We call ourselves "Celtic Cat & Prairie Dog" and you can find out more about this at: http://www.celticcatprairiedog.com
Tags: Library Librarian Books Blues harmonica acoustic guitar music Media Center Taylor folk
Added: 4 years ago
From: guitarmandoguy
Views: 8,873

"Librarian's Blues"
(Bring us back our books)
by Keith Johnson

[scene opens with a man holding a guitar and wearing a harmonica rack, speaking directly to the camera]
KEITH: Hi there, YouTubers. I have a stupid, inane, original song that will have limited appeal to most people ... or, I guess, limited appeal to anybody other than librarians, of which I happen to be one.
[he starts to play]
KEITH: It's about overdue books ...
[he plays to the tune of "Bad to the Bone"]

Bring us back our books!
The ones that you took
Bring us back our books
Ya dirty little crooks!
We know that you got 'em
And that is a sin
We're not gonna be happy
Till you bring 'em back again!

Second verse!
Same as the first!

Bring us back our books
Ya dirty little crooks!
Bring us back our books!
The ones that you took
We know that you got 'em
And that is a sin
We're not gonna be smilin' happy
Till you bring 'em back again!

I say "B-O-O-K-S"
Some of ya know what that spells!
Books, books
Buh-buh-buh-buh-books!
Buh-buh-buh-buh-books!
Buh-buh-buh-buh-bad!
I'm mad to the bone!
I'm muh-muh-muh-muh-mad!
I'm mad to the bone!

Not really ...
Don't be scared
I'm just a librarian,
A librarian who cares.

Case Study No. 0512: "The lunching librarian"

The Book of Life
3:53
Another panegyric to the academic life!

(Copyright reserved)
Tags: Book Life poem poetry reading fun academic library futility research xyphoon
Added: 4 years ago
From: jyamamo
Views: 589

From blogspot.com:

The book of life

I searched through the card catalogue
under book and under life
pored over microfiches
tried every category of computerised search
and scrutinised the list of periodicals

Then the hard work started.
Filling in requests for books stacked underground
scanning the open shelves systematically
checking to see if what was between the covers of each book
was really what was written on the spine

I took copious coffee breaks
tea breaks, sausage sandwich breaks
breaks to perform various bodily functions
and even found a corner of the west wing
to bed down in at night

My personal life suffered
my clothes began to smell bad
my bills went unpaid
the phone was cut off, then the gas, the trickery, the water.
It was worth it, though, in the end.

It came to me in a vision
on the twenty ninth day
of the second month
of the twelfth year of my search.
Alleluia!

It was one of those visions
that blind you on the spot (the spot
being in the middle of the tenth of twenty eight racks
nine feet high by sixty seven long
on the third floor of six on the south front)

I still had a long way to go; I hadn't
been vouchsafed the book, just the location code.
I scrambled to the desk as best I could
wrote the code down on one of the forms
(this was no problem, by now I could do it blindfold)

then, with trembling hands
passed it to the aged clerk saying
as I did so, I think it may have been misfiled.
He took it, though, with fingers like dried leaves
and with a voice like dried leaves

told me to return an hour later.
He was waiting for me. He took me aside.
He whispered in my ear
the book of life is out on loan
I'm terribly sorry

I could see he knew it meant a lot to me.
He said, We'll put out a recall on it.
We'll get it back. He patted me on the back.
I could see he felt sorry for me
he was just being a good old boy

But they didn't get it back
and after that my hearing went.
It took me a while to learn to read Braille
and even longer to write it
but in the end I put in a request

I want to speak to the librarian.
The clerk took me aside
and tapped a message in Morse code on my palm.
The librarian is out to lunch. Permanently.
Undeterred

I played my trump card
(there's no point embarking on a search like this
without one). At last
the sacred book of life was in my hands
the rest would come by grace

I took it to the library clerk, rejoicing
he led me personally to the lunching librarian
we turned the pages reverently
and turning into angels
the clerk and librarian restored my sight and hearing

a heavenly choir filled my ears
my aged bones were charged with youthful vigour
and I read (the text was cunningly disguised
as a telephone directory for Stevenage)
my name was not listed

About John Yamamoto-Wilson:
I'm English, but I lived in Spain for several years, and now here I am in Japan!
I used to do quite a lot of stuff connected with rare and collectible books, but I just haven't had the time recently. The website's still there, though (http://rarebooksinjapan.com/).

Case Study No. 0511: Mary Anne Hodel

WWE - SummerSlam Reading Jam
1:07
WWE Superstars give back to the community by helping children get excited about reading. For more, please visit http://wwe.com
Tags: wwe wrestling action news rumor raw smackdown ecw cena edge hardy jeff orton hhh triple wrestlemania reading children education learning school community outreach linda mcmahon teachers
Added: 3 years ago
From: WWEFanNation
Views: 28,976

[various clips of WWE wrestlers are shown]
ANNOUNCER: While the Superstars and Divas of the WWE will rule the stage at Summer Slam, it will be the youth of America who will steal the show, with their commitment to broadening their horizons as part of the Summer Slam Reading Jam. The WWE has teamed up with more than five hundred libraries nationwide, to encourage children and teens alike to visit their local libraries and read throughout the summer.
[cut to the director of the Oranga County Library System speaking, as various shots of children reading in the library are shown]
MARY ANNE HODEL: World Wrestling Entertainment really has helped put the library on the map. I've noticed a lot more kids coming in ...
[various shots of wrestlers standing with children in the library are shown]
ANNOUNCER: World Wrestling Entertainment is proud to contribute to the education of America's youth.
[cut to WWE Superstar Montel Vontavius Porter speaking, while standing in the library]
MONTEL VONTAVIUS PORTER: Anytime I have an opportunity to interact with children in a positive way, that's more rewarding than I have words to express ... and I always have words to express!
[more shots of libraries and WWE wrestlers are shown]
ANNOUNCER: It's been said that reading is fundamental, but the WWE Superstars make reading just plain fun!

---

From wwe.com:

WWE and YALSA kick off SummerSlam Reading Jam
June 17, 2009

In support of President Barack Obama's new "United We Serve" initiative (http://serve.gov), WWE and the Young Adult Library Services Association are teaming up for the SummerSlam Reading Jam, which kicked off Wednesday, June 24, in libraries nationwide. Across 47 states and the District of Columbia, more than 500 libraries are participating in the program to encourage teens and tweens to visit their local libraries and read throughout the summer.

Participating libraries will award a poster featuring Rey Mysterio, Evan Bourne, Beth Phoenix and Eve to the first 25 teens and tweens between ages 10 and 18 who check out two books. The posters, which are numbered, are available until July 16 or as long as supplies last.

On Friday, July 17, two poster numbers will be drawn determining the grand prize winners along with alternate poster numbers. These winning numbers will be posted on WWEKids.com. The two grand prize winners will win airfare to Los Angeles for two, two nights' hotel, two tickets and $200 spending money for WWE's SummerSlam on Sunday, Aug. 23, at the STAPLES Center in Los Angeles. Ten first prize winners will win copies of the WWE Encyclopedia.

"The SummerSlam Reading Jam allows WWE the opportunity to again join forces with YALSA to promote youth literacy and support this new initiative from President Obama," said Michelle Wilson, WWE's Executive Vice President, Marketing.

"Building upon our success in working with school and public libraries on our annual nationwide WrestleMania Reading Challenge during the school year, this new initiative gives us the opportunity to use our most popular summer pay-per-view, SummerSlam, to extend our efforts to get young people to read into the summer," she continued.

"Reading for fun during the summer months is crucial for young people as it helps them retain reading skills they acquire during the school year," said Sarah Cornish Debraski, YALSA president. "Summer reading initiatives, such as this new SummerSlam Reading Jam, are great ways to encourage teens and tweens to keep reading over the summer. We are excited to launch this project with WWE and Mattel."

If you are not eligible to be part of the SummerSlam Reading Jam, that doesn't mean you can't be part of the fun. Consider volunteering at your local library -- maybe even one of the libraries participating in the SummerSlam Reading Jam -- to read to kids or to just help out. You can find a list of participating libraries at http://ala.org/ ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/ ssrj_librarylist.pdf. In addition, libraries across the country will be posting volunteer opportunities at http://serve.gov, so check that Web site to learn how you can help your local library and your community this summer. Remember, United We Serve.

---

From ala.org:

YALSA and World Wrestling Entertainment have joined forces, with support from Mattel, for the SummerSlam Reading Jam, a pilot project with two great prizes: your library could win $1,000 for teen and tween materials for your library's collection and two of your tween and teen library patrons can win a free trip for two to WWE's SummerSlam pay-per-view event in Los Angeles.

Five hundred libraries signed up for the pilot project. If you are one of the participating libraries, here's what to expect:

* Each participating librarian will receive 25 WWE mini-posters, which should be distributed to any library patrons between the ages of 10 and 18 who take out two books between June 24 and July 16. The posters are all numbered. Distribute all your posters by July 16. You should receive your posters by June 22.
* Two lucky poster holders each will receive a Grand Prize of a free trip for two to WWE's SummerSlam pay-per-view event in Los Angeles, Calif., on August 23, 2009. In addition, they will receive $200 in spending money. WWE will also be giving away 10 copies of the WWE Encyclopedia, which recently made the New York Times Bestseller list. The libraries that distributed the winning posters for the two Grand Prizes will each receive a stipend of $1,000 from WWE for teen and tween materials for your library's collection.

The winning numbers will be posted on WWEKIDS.com on Tuesday, July 17, 2009, at 3 p.m. Eastern/12 p.m. Pacific. Winners will need to verify they have the winning numbered mininposter at the participating libraries. The library should then contact WWE at (206) 353-5066 to notify them of the winning patrons' names.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Case Study No. 0510: Unnamed Male Librarian (Kill List)

Mark Kempner LIBRARIAN SCENE from KILL LIST.f4v
3:37
Showreel scene THE LIBRARIAN from the movie KILL LIST
Tags: KILL LIST THE LIBRARIAN SHOWREEL SCENE MARK KEMPNER
Added: 7 months ago
From: Markkempner
Views: 2,434

[Jay and his partner Gal ambush the male librarian in front of his home, then cut to the librarian tied up in his kitchen (with a bloodied nose) as the two assassins calmly stand in front of him]
LIBRARIAN: [breathing heavily] There's been a mistake ...
GAL: Oh yeah?
LIBRARIAN: Mistaken identity ...
GAL: Ay, just remembered we're your burglars?
LIBRARIAN: Really? Well, if you are, take what you want ...
GAL: First, I could do with some reassurances that the world is not full of murdering perverts ...
JAY: We saw the lockup ...
LIBRARIAN: [under his breath] Christ ...
GAL: Yeah ... It's game on, big lad.
[the librarian begins to cry]
JAY: Yeah, don't bother ... Fucking freak!
[Gal moves closer]
GAL: Listen, mate. I've seen your wee film.
LIBRARIAN: I'm just a librarian ...
GAL: Who for?
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] This is not fair ...
JAY: I'll show you not fair!
[he punches the librarian in the face, then cut to the librarian spitting up blood as Jay lights a cigarette]
LIBRARIAN: [weakly] Please ...
JAY: Don't, 'cause it makes me hate you more, hear?
GAL: [calmly] Who films it?
LIBRARIAN: [doesn't look up] I ... can't tell you that.
[Jay walks over and puts the lit cigarette against the librarian's neck, causing him to scream in pain]
LIBRARIAN: [yelling] He lives at Greenweld Street! 15 Greenweld Street!
GAL: [calmly] Where do you keep your money?
LIBRARIAN: [weakly] In a safe.
GAL: Which room?
LIBRARIAN: [sighs] Top of the stairs, on the right.
[he gets up to check, as Jay sits down]
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] Does he know?
JAY: [looks up confused] What?
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] Who you are?
[Jay stares blankly]
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] He doesn't, does he?
JAY: What the fuck are you talking about?
LIBRARIAN: Before he comes back, I just wanna say ...
[he leans in close]
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] Thank you.
JAY: For what?
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] I'm glad to have met you.
[cut to Jay getting a hammer out of the nearby toolbox]
LIBRARIAN: [calmly] I understand. You have to do what you have to do. Eh?
[Jay begins smashing his left knee with the hammer, as the librarian screams in pain]
LIBRARIAN: [weakly] Thank you ...
[Jay moves onto his right hand, and begins smashing his fingers with the hammer, as the librarian screams in pain]
[cut to Gal in another room, listening to the muffled sounds of the librarian's screams]
[cut back to the kitchen, where the librarian - nearly unconscious - has his head down on the table]
LIBRARIAN: [weakly] Thank you. Thank you ...
[Jay rears back with the hammer, brings it down towards the librarian's head, then the scene quickly cuts to black]

---

From markkempner.co.uk:

Following the success of DOWN TERRACE, in which I played dodgy councillor Dave Berman, Ben Wheatley's KILL LIST is receiving rave reviews and reviews everywhere it plays. In Kill List, I play THE LIBRARIAN, a paedophile who collates video material for clients, for which he receives a good deal of violence via a hammer!

---

From empireonline.com:

"Kill List" (2011)
Directed by Ben Wheatley

Jay (Neil Maskell), a freelance assassin running short of funds, is nagged by his wife Shel (MyAnna Buring) into taking on a new client. Jay and his partner Gal (Michael Smiley) accept a 'kill list' of three successive targets. As Jay and Gal execute the commissions, it becomes apparent that the list is longer than it seems.

In its opening scenes ben Wheatley's second feature, Kill List, seems to take place in the same sort of world as his first, the Brighton-set domestic gangster black comedy Down Terrace. Jay (Neil Maskell), a bullet-headed ex-soldier-turned-sometime-hitman, struggles to pay the bills — the Jacuzzi he needs for his perhaps-illusory ‘bad back' wants an expensive fixing — and settle down with his tough, practical wife Shel (MyAnna Buring) — also, in a crucial detail, an ex-soldier who has done her time in Swedish national service — and raise their young son in suburbia. There's mention of a job gone wrong in Kiev and too many conversations turn into arguments. As in Down Terrace, Wheatley shows he's a master of disastrous dinner parties as verbal and physical violence always erupts when his characters settle down to a nice meal.

Gal (Michael Smiley), Jay's seemingly less screwed-up partner in crime, cajoles him into that staple of the hitman/heist movie, 'one last job', which turns out to be less straightforward than advertised. Even in the early stretches, there are hints — a dinner guest surreptitiously draws a mystic symbol on the reverse of a bathroom mirror — that this isn't going to be a straight-up heist movie. When Jay and Gal meet with a shadowy employer (Struan Rodger), the film sub-divides into chapters checking off items on their list (The Priest, The Librarian, The MP, The Hunchback) and the episodes get stranger. As things proceed, the film gets deeper into the bizarre, as if Get Carter were successively rewritten by Harold Pinter and Dennis Wheatley.

Mysteries abound. Why do victims take the trouble to thank Jay for their executions? Just how terrible is the porn (if that's what it is?) archived in a lock-up by The Librarian (Mark Kempner) to prompt Jay into going off-mission with torture and some unpaid-for murders? Why won't Jay's doctor (Damien Thomas, a Hammer horror face from Twins Of Evil) pay attention to the obvious symptoms of some rotting disease that spreads from a cut inflicted on his hand by the client? What is Gal's weird new girlfriend (Emma Fryer) playing at? And who is the hunchback who gets to be a last-minute addition to the list? It's a sign of confidence that the climax, which has a wonderfully Gothic bravura, answers all these questions but leaves you to make many of your own connections. It's not going too far to say Wheatley has a very British version of David Lynch's knack for that disturbing twilight area which exists between the crime movie and the horror film.

Maskell, a very busy British actor who's played a lot of hard blokes on either side of the law, is an unlikely leading man, but holds Kill List together, grounding even its surreal touches in something like everyday behaviour. Smiley, a character actor on his way from you-know-the-face to national treasure, is outstanding as Maskell's chattier, apparently more grounded sidekick, bringing some Irish warmth into a chilly world, yet plainly as cracked as everyone else in sight. When Jay says that they should accept inevitable doom as comeuppance for all the terrible things they've done, Gal is genuinely puzzled and muses, "I haven't done all that many terrible things," even though they're on a road trip which involves checking into anonymous hotels and murdering strangers.

Case Study No. 0509: Amy Blevins

Night Watchman
1:00
Laupus Library
600 Moye Blvd.
Greenville, NC 27858
(252) 744-2230
http://www.ecu.edu/ laupuslibrary/

Producer: C.W. Elton
Director: Tom Skinner
Phil the Security Guard: Michael Tucker
Amy the Librarian: Amy Blevins
Tags: librareo contest Laupus Library ECU promotional video
Added: 3 years ago
From: LaupusLibrary
Views: 632

[scene opens with an exterior shot of the library, as "Laupus Health Sciences Library" pops up on screen, then cut to a male security guard playing with a barcode scanner when a young female librarian ("A Real Librarian!") enters]
AMY: Alright Phil, I know it's your first night as a security guard in the library. You're probably nervous, but don't worry. You'll do just fine.
[she puts some books on a cart, then leaves]
AMY: [from off camera] I will see you at seven o'clock in the morning.
PHIL: Bye, Miss Amy ...
[he absent-mindedly looks down at the scanner and accidentally flashes it into his eyes, temporarily blinding him]
[cut to Phil talking to three medical skeletons next to the DVD and Multimedia Collection]
PHIL: Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Slim, you take the first floor. Bob, third. Jenkins, fourth. If we work together, we can be done in about thirty minutes. After that ...
[he holds up a deck of playing cards]
PHIL: I've got the cards!
[cut to Phil walking through the Journals section and tripping over one of the step stools]
[cut to Phil playing cards with the skeletons, as he peeks at Bob's hand]
PHIL: Aw man ...
[cut to Phil putting his cards on the table]
PHIL: Alright, let's see what you've got.
[he looks at the cards on the table in front of Bob]
PHIL: Wha, how?
[he looks up and notices a card stuffed into Bob's skull]
PHIL: Wait a minute ...
[he pulls the card out and throws it on the table]
PHIL: I knew it, cheater!
[cut to Phil having a conversation with Slim, as "One of 154 models!" pops up below the skeleton]
PHIL: It was Nietzche who said, "Hell is other people" ...
SLIM: I think that was Sartre!
[cut to Phil riding a chair through the stacks, as "Over 44,000 books!" pops up on screen]
PHIL: I'm king of the library!
[cut to Amy returning in the morning, as Phil is quietly sitting at the front desk]
PHIL: Good morning!
AMY: Hope your night wasn't too boring.
PHIL: Oh, it wasn't, Miss Amy. I found a way to pass the time somehow.
AMY: Filling out reports?
[he gets a nervous look on his face, and reaches for some papers on the desk]
PHIL: Uhhhh, yeah ... filling out reports.
[cut to an exterior shot of the library in the daylight, as "Power to the user" appears on screen]
ANNOUNCER: The William E. Laupus Health Sciences Library. We're even more fun, when we're open!

---

From ecu.edu:

Laupus Library (East Carolina University)
Posted on 05/29/2009

The library has submitted a video for a library promotion contest through Librareo. The video is titled The Night Watchman. Please feel free to comment on Youtube if you like the video.

Case Study No. 0508: Mr. Penduhdinkduhdinsk

FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE LIBRARY!
4:28
Your crazy librarian right on your own computer!
;]
Tags: crazymikeyx100
Added: 1 year ago
From: crazymikeyx100
Views: 214

["Library Rules with ... Mr. Penduhdinkduhdinsk" appears on screen, then cut to a young male librarian (brown hair, glasses) being interviewed by a woman]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Hello, we're at the library of Mister Johnson Penduhdink ... duhdinsk, and we're here to ask some questions for our interview documentary. Hi, Mister Penden-duh-dursky. How are you?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: It's actually "Penduhdinkduhdinsk."
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Pendun ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: "Penduhdinkduhdinsk" ... You kinda have to tense up your neck when you say it, "Penduhdinkdaaaaaahhh!" Sorry, I've got a mild form of Tourette's.
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] That's okay ... Um, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, and your mission of the library and what it stands for--
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Gaahh!
[he adjusts his glasses and composes himself]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, well ... I actually work at the Sherlock Holmes Library, and my main mission is to keep all guidelines safe at the library!
[he twitches again]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, I wanna keep the library a very flowing place, where lots or children are reading books and following the rules! And, um, I think that it's very important to follow the guidelines ...
[he pulls his glasses down and stares into the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: When you're at the library.
[he puts his glasses back]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Okay ... So, first rule. Always keep a safe distance from pedestrians walking on the other side of the library. Now, when you're in the library, you gotta find a book, not messin' around with your little friends like all those little brats do! Y'know what I'm talking about, right?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Of course.
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Anymore questions?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Um ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: I wanna elaborate on these little details!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Okay, what's your favorite book?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um. Well, that's kinda hard. Uh, my favorite book is probably the one with the nice lady with the ... I forgot what they call it. Uh, the big tush!
[he laughs]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: She's right on the cover with that red latex mini-skirt, and it just ... makes me go wild!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Uh, how old are you?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Um, I'm actually gonna be forty two in the Mayan calendar soon.
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Forty two ...
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: And there's actually books about that, how ... Y'know, people are saying the world is gonna end and all that, I don't think it is!
[he holds up a plastic coat hanger]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: I don't think it is, and I'm gonna use this for my protection! This is to whip all those little kids out there!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Isn't that just a regular hanger?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: What?
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Isn't that just a regular hanger, that you find in the closet?
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Well, that's a secret and you're not supposed to ...
[he suddenly squints his eyes and grits his teeth]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Tell ... any-body!
[he relaxes]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Um--
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Be safe in the library, careful around the books, don't mess around, and keep your little pie-hole shut!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Okay.
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Because we're very strict in there! Very strict!
[he holds up a shoe and scratches the top of his head with it, then "Our top rule for you fellow citizens!" appears on screen]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Number tres! If you're walking through the library, make sure you're gonna find a book!
[cut to another angle of the librarian speaking directly to the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: Number dos! If you're in the library, and you go in the bathroom and you come out, make sure you find a book!
[cut to another angle of the librarian speaking directly to the camera]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: And the number uno rule, is if you're goin' outta the library, make sure you got a book!
[the last sentence is repeated in slow motion, then cut to the interviewer walking through the hall]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] We should go see what Mister Pen-duk is doing ...
[the camera stops as the librarian is dancing awkwardly in a room by himself, then he notices the camera and charges]
MR. PENDUHDINKDUHDINSK: What are you doing?!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Ahhh!