Case Study No. 0028: Myrna Bookbottom/Margaret Basher

Freaky Flyers - Myrna Bookbottom Cutscenes
9:27
From the game Freaky Flyers, all of Myrna Bookbottom's cutscenes. Jolly good show.
Tags: Freaky Flyers Myrna Bookbottom Margaret Basher
Added: 2 years ago
From: thevillipeople
Views: 3,134

[scene opens with a young woman (with a bun in her hair and wearing glasses) sitting in a room filled with books and cats]
NARRATOR: Myrna Bookbottom. Librarian. Cat lady. Extremely polite.
MYRNA: Hello. I'm very pleased to meet you, guv'nah.
NARRATOR: Now, what is a nice young woman like you doing in this race, Myrna?
MYRNA: Well, you see, I have always wanted a life of adventure. But I work in the local library, and things just never seem to happen there ... until Margaret Basher came along.
NARRATOR: Margaret Basher?
MYRNA: She is my alter ego. When I get angry, I turn into Margaret ... and bad things happen.
NARRATOR: But you seem so sweet and helpless ... And boring. Boringly helpless.
[her eye begins twitching and her head starts spinning, before she spins around and transforms into Margaret]
MARGARET: [sneering] Helpless, eh?
[she pulls out a machine gun and begins firing randomly]
NARRATOR: The moral is, you can't judge a Bookbottom by its cover ... [chuckles]
[cut to Myrna flying her plane]
NARRATOR: Godspeed, Myrna Bookbottom.
[the plane spins around and transforms into Margaret's jet/rocket]
MARGARET: Oi!
NARRATOR: Oh, and Margaret Basher ...

[...]

[Myrna is flying through the air, carrying a Yeti in a large net attached to her plane]
MYRNA: Upon my return to England, I'm going to report Andre Latoilette to the Humane Society. It is dreadful how he's been treating this poor little apeman!
[the French-Canadian lumberjack Andre Latoilette flies into the scene]
ANDRE: Put down my property immediately, femme d'Angleterre!
MYRNA: Well, if you ask politely, perhaps I shall ...
[she suddenly transforms, to Andre's surprise]
MARGARET: Squirrel-sucking tree hugger! Just try and stop me!
[she flies off with Andre in pursuit]

[...]

[the screen reads "Somewhere between Canada and Mexico ... " as Myrna parks her plane at a hangar and enters the womens' bathroom]
ANDRE: [enters the scene] Hello? Madame Bookbottom?
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Yes? Who is that?
ANDRE: It is I, Andre Latoilette!
MARGARET: [from behind the door] Oi! It's the squirrel-sucking tree hugger!
ANDRE: I wanted to apologize for yelling at you earlier. I get sensitive with matters concerning my Bigfoot.
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Oh, that's quite sweet of you, love.
MARGARET: [from behind the door] Yeah, real sweet ... now bugger off!
ANDRE: Excusez moi?
MYRNA: [from behind the door] Call meeee ...
MARGARET: [from behind the door] On second thought ... don't, you tosser!
[dejected, he walks off]
ANDRE: [sighs] English women! They are so complicated ...
[the sound of a flushing toilet is heard]

[...]

[camera zooms in on book entitled "Dewey Decimal Digest: Pip! Pip! Jolly Good Show!" with a picture of Myrna on the cover]
NARRATOR: Librarian card-holders with overdue books! Is it laziness, or a desperate cry for help? Details inside ... Also, an update on flying librarian Myrna Bookbottom, who is about to begin the next leg of the Freaky Flyers race in Chicago. For more information about Chicago, see "North American Reference, Comma, Chicago" in the card catalog.

[...]

[the two Marcel Moreso Brothers are sneaking around an open field, while Margaret spies on them from inside a trashcan]
MARGARET: If I ever get me hands on those blokes, I'll crush their crumpets!
[the smaller brother notices Margaret and winks at her]
MARGARET: Although, he is kinda cute for a mime ...
[she suddenly transforms]
MYRNA: I quite fancy the little chubby one ... [giggles]

[...]

[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: The Brits Are Back!", now with Margaret on the cover]
NARRATOR: After many high-level talks, it has been agreed that the industry-standard shush for a loud library visitor will be 2.5 seconds. Anything longer is frowned upon, as it only adds to the noise problem ... We also catch up with Myrna Bookbottom, who's fresh off a Nose Goblin killing spree, and is now set for the next stage of the Freaky Flyers race in Danger Island!

[...]

[Margaret is flying her jet, when the mysterious Pilot X pulls up alongside her in his spaceship]
PILOT X: Hold on, violent yet somehow very attractive Earth creature! I have a proposal for you!
MARGARET: How 'bout I propose to demolish you and your spacecraft?
PILOT X: Aren't you tired of that wimpy Myrna Bookbottom? Wouldn't you like to take control, to be Margaret Basher ... forever?!
MARGARET: I'm listening ...
PILOT X: Then I'll make you a deal! I'll make sure you never have to be Myrna again, if you help me win the race!
[she begins thinking it over, when she transforms back into Myrna]
MYRNA: Oh, hello ... Uh, what may I do for you, sir?
PILOT X: How would you like to make a deal?

[...]

[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: Oi! We Kicked Their Bloomin' Crumpets!!"]
NARRATOR: Emily Stokes Trent, a librarian from Newbury-On-Tyne, tells the Dewey Decimal Digest that library hours have been extended there in recent years to accomodate slower readers ... Also, we check in on Myrna Bookbottom, who is now in the Freaky Flyers finals in Germany!

[...]

[Myrna flies alongside the Marcel Moreso brothers]
MYRNA: Bonjour, monsieurs!
[the fatter one smiles upon seeing her]
MYRNA: I baked you a cake, you attractive little French street performer!
[she holds out a cake, but the smaller brother slaps it into her face]
MYRNA: Oh my ...
[the smaller one laughs silently, but the fatter one is angry and starts choking him ... the smaller one responds by repeatedly punching him in the face]
[meanwhile, Myrna removes the cake from her face to reveal that she has transformed into Margaret]
MARGARET: Somebody's going to pay for this ...
[the smaller of the Siamese twin mimes continues punching his brother in the face]
MARGARET: [rubbing her hands together] And I know just who ...
[Margaret grabs the smaller one by his ear and pulls him in for ... a kiss]

[...]

[Myrna crosses the finish line to win the Freaky Flyers race]
MYRNA: So much excitement! A good spot of tea is just what I need ...
[she pulls out a cup and teapot, which suddenly starts vibrating as Pilot X pops out of it]
PILOT X: Aha, Myrna Bookbottom! Just as I planned! You're the winner of the Freaky Flyers competition! The weakest, most timid aviator in the game! You'll have no chance against me!
MYRNA: Well, I shall do my very best. At least I will not have to turn into that dreadful Margaret Basher again.
PILOT X: Um, well, actually you will. Because I have no idea how to do anything about that!
MYRNA: What? Why, you ... you lied to me!
[she transforms into Margaret]
MARGARET: I challenge you to a battle in outer space!
PILOT X: Hey, I'm the one who does the challenges!
[both are captured in tractor beams and are lifted off the ground]
PILOT X: Is this womens' lib? Because if it is, I-I don't like it!

[...]

[after defeating Pilot X, Myrna finds herself inside Buckingham Palace]
ROYAL GUARD: [from off camera] Your Majesty, Myrna Bookbottom.
[the Queen of England approaches as Myrna curtseys]
QUEEN: Myrna Bookbottom, you are hereby awarded the highest medal of the British Empire.
[she tries to pin the medal to Myrna's lapel, but misses and pricks her]
MYRNA: Ow!
[this causes her to transform into Margaret]
MARGARET: God won't save the Queen this time, dearie!
QUEEN: Oh my!
[she tackles the Queen and begins beating her up off camera]

[...]

[camera zooms in on "Dewey Decimal Digest: Wedding Belles! Couples to Honeymoon in Hawaii ... and Libya"]
NARRATOR: Wedding bells are ringing! The librarian social event of the year ... well, really the only librarian social event of the year ... okay, ever, was the marriage of Myrna Bookbottom and Margaret Basher to their respective Marcel Moreso brother. Well, when asked what attracted her to her husband, Myrna answered "He's very quiet." Sounds like true love, indeed!

---

From wikipedia.org:

Freaky Flyers is a 2003 video game developed internally by Midway San Diego for Xbox and PS2 while the GameCube version was developed by Point of View, Inc. and published by Midway Games. Freaky Flyers is a comical, plane racing game which incorporates other modes which make the game more open to larger audiences. The game is suitable for up to two players although some modes are not available in single gameplay.

[...]

Myrna Bookbottom is a meek, soft-spoken, well-mannered, cat loving librarian from England. A lifetime of reading adventure novels has left her with a desire to lead a life of real adventure outside of books. This has caused her to enter the Freaky Flyers competition for some real adventure. It is also implied that a lifetime of being ridiculously proper and restrained with no outlet has caused her to develop an alter ego in the persona of Margaret Basher. Myrna dresses in 1940s era female aviator's garb, large round glasses, and keeps her red hair in a typical librarian's bun. During the course of the competition, Myrna develops a crush on "the little chubby" Marcels Moreso Brother, eventually marrying him at the end of her storyline.

Margaret Basher is Myrna Bookbottom's much more violent, outspoken, and downright rude alter ego. It's implied that Myrna developed Margaret after being so prim and proper with no outlet for her more undesirable traits. They share a "Jekyll and Hyde" type of relationship. Anytime Myrna gets angry or frustrated, she turns into Margaret and, in Myrna's words, "bad things happen." Margaret's solution to just about every problem is violence and more violence. The official biography in the game instruction manual states that Margaret has an extensive small arms collection and kicks cats in her spare time. Both Myrna and Margaret wish they could be rid of the other, and both make deals with Pilot X to help him win the competition, provided he helps them become separate. When he reneges on the deal, they challenge him to a final battle in outer space. This ending is slightly different from the other characters, where Pilot X challenges the winner of the race to a final battle for the title of Freaky Flyers Champion.During the course of the competition, Margaret develops a crush on the skinnier Marcels Moreso Brother, following a spirited chase across a European meadow, and eventually marries him at the end of her storyline. Margaret dresses in a black open collared shirt, white pants, knee high black boots, a red tie, and a pair of rainbow lensed sunglasses. Her red hair flows freely with the addition of a black hairband.

Case Study No. 0027: Miss Bundt and Mackintosh

Brixton Brothers The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity by Mac Barnett,
1:28
Book Trailer for Brixton Brothers The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity by Mac Barnett. Book Trailer by Jennifer Bednorz
Tags: jennifer bednorz book trailer brixton brothers mac barnett
Added: 9 months ago
From: jenniferbednorz
Views: 810

The Brixton Brothers: The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity
by Mac Barnett

Steve Brixton loves detective novels

When he heads to the library to research for a book report ...

He gets caught up in a mystery ...

that involves quilts ...
librarians ...
and National Security ...

Can Steve become a real detective and solve the mystery?

Book trailer by Jennifer Bednorz
jennifer [at] jenlibrarian.com

---

From amazon.com:

"The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity" (Brixton Brothers No. 1)
Written by Mac Barnett
Illustrated by Adam Rex

"Since when can librarians rappel from helicopters? Does Steve have any brothers or sisters? If not, then why is this series called The Brixton Brothers? You will solve all these mysteries and many more by the time you finish The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity!"

Aspiring detective Steve Brixton, 12, gets more than he bargained for when he becomes mixed up with crime-fighting and undercover operatives who are also-librarians! Steve, an avid reader, has been diligently studying The Bailey Brothers' Detective Handbook and has turned into quite a supersleuth. He is working on a social-studies project on early American needlework (definitely not his choice) at the library, and checks out An Illustrated History of American Quilting when a man holds a gun to his head. It seems that all books have coded information in their Library of Congress numbers for the Librarians, who are highly trained intelligence agents. This clandestine society of crime-fighters suspects Steve is working for the mysterious Mr. E., who sells America's secrets. They plan on charging him with treason if he does not come clean about his involvement with the villain and his knowledge about a missing historical quilt that has major information embroidered on it. Barnett's fast-moving plot is sure to hold readers' attention, and children will love Steve's ability to outsmart many of the adults in the story. Incorporating mistaken identities, kidnapping, and a secret underground society, this is a fun, humorous adventure.

---

From google.com:

In the Bailey Brothers novels, libraries are exciting and mysterious places, often located on the third floors of mansions owned by eccentric millionaires, many of whom are British. In Ocean Park the library was a squat building with peeling paint and orange couches. Dim light came from yellow tubes that buzzed in the ceiling. Nobody could tell whether the carpet was originally that horrible shade of grayish brown, or whether it had just gotten that way after thirty years without cleaning.

It wasn't all bad. The library had a pretty good collection of Bailey Brothers novels. And he liked the huge bronze sculpture of a book on the front lawn. Back when Steve was a little kid, he would climb on top of the sculpture and beat it like a drum. Still, it was safe to say that the Ocean Park Public Library was not the place you would want to spend a Saturday afternoon.

When he typed "early American needlework" into one of the library's ancient computers, only one entry came up:

TITLE:
An Illustrated History of American Quilting
AUTHOR:
J. J. Beckley
CALL NO.:
746.46 BECKLEY

Steve decided on the spot that An Illustrated History of American Quilting must be the most boring book ever written. Sighing, he picked up a stubby pencil and wrote down the call number. Steve sighed again, stood up, and went to find his book.

Walking down through the stacks, Steve searched for titles that sounded worse than the one he was looking for. He couldn't find one. Not "Footnotes and You." Not "The Serious Skald's Guide to Medieval Icelandic Poetry." Not even the "1993 Rotary Telephone Pricing Guide" was worse than "An Illustrated History of American Quilting."

Finally, Steve found his aisle: NONFICTION SHELF #26B: 745-749.3. He scanned the books haphazardly, half hoping that the one he was looking for wasn't there. But then, on the bottom shelf, he saw it, the words "An Illustrated History of American Quilting" etched in its spine in gold. When Steve took the book off the shelf, a pillow of dust rose like genie smoke in front of his face. The book was big and heavy and bound in deep brown leather. Its pages were thick and yellowed. Its spine quietly cracked when Steve opened it. He was surprised to find himself excited. This looked like the kind of book that could contain magic spells or treasure-maps or tales of long-lost lands.

But it didn't. Inside there was just a bunch of pictures of quilts.

Ms. Bundt was working the checkout desk and loading books onto a rolling cart. She was a round, prim, and kindly woman. Her face brightened when she saw Steve approach.

"Happy Saturday, Steve," she said.

Steve halfheartedly slapped his book on the checkout desk.

"Hello, Ms. Bundt."

Steve noticed Ms. Bundt was wearing a brooch shaped like a cat. This wasn't unusual-she was always wearing brooches shaped like cats-but this was a new one. Which meant she would want to talk about it.

"How do you like my new cat pin?" Ms. Bundt asked.

"Oh, it's really great," Steve said, pretending to be interested. The Bailey Brothers always say: It pays to be polite.

"It's Rumpelteazer, from Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats," she said.

"Cool," said Steve. He had no idea what she was talking about.

[...]

The man continued down the aisle until he was just next to Steve. Then he stopped. Steve looked down onto the top of the man's head. He was so close that Steve could smell his shampoo. It smelled like peaches.

The man was staring right at the books Steve had moved.

His forehead wrinkled.

He scratched his nose.

Then, quietly, almost silently, the man whispered, "What's Plato doing in Native American Literature?"

Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he tilted his head toward the top shelf.

Steve's hiding place was blown!

In one fluid motion Steve swung off the top shelf and leapt onto the library cart. It was positively amazing: He didn't know he had ace moves like that. But before he could congratulate himself, the cart went flying from underneath his feet. Steve hit the floor face first. His nose was pressed into the brown carpet. It definitely had never been cleaned.

Dazed, Steve scrambled to his feet and spun around, throwing his fists in front of himself. He was ready to fight, even if he had never thrown a punch before, even if his first opponent was almost seven feet tall.

But there was no need. His pursuer was slumped over the library cart, groaning. The cart must have rolled right into him! Elated, Steve made a run for it.

[...]

Steve knew he should never get into a stranger's car, but he looked at the gun and realized he didn't have much choice. So he sighed, slumped his shoulders, and climbed into the back of the limo. Mackintosh got in behind him and closed the door.

Mackintosh took a seat across from Steve and put the gun in his suit jacket. To Mackintosh's right was a console lined with buttons. He pressed one, and Steve heard the doors lock with a dull thud.

Steve looked around. There was a small refrigerator in the back of the car. Mackintosh opened it, removed a water bottle, twisted off its cap, and took a long sip. He held the bottle with just four fingers, keeping his pinkie extended.

Steve was thirsty after all that running. "Can I have a water?" he asked.

"No," said Mackintosh. He took another sip. There was a gold ring on his little finger. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Steven Brixton."

This was insane.

"I have a lot of explaining to do?" Steve said. "Just who do you think you are?"

"I'm a Librarian."

That was not the answer Steve was expecting.

"And who were all those people back there?"

"Also Librarians."

Steve thought back to the dark figures somersaulting through windows and shooting guns. They sure didn't seem like librarians.

"Are you joking?"

"Oh, there's no joke," said Mackintosh. "Of that I assure you. You see, Steven, Librarians are the most elite, best trained secret force in the United States of America. Probably in the world."

"No way."

"Yes way."

"What about the FBI?"

"Featherweights."

"The CIA?"

Mackintosh snorted. "Don't make me laugh. Those guys can't even dunk a basketball and read a book at the same time. Every Librarian is a highly trained agent. An expert in intelligence, counterintelligence, Boolean searching, and hand-to-hand combat."

"Every Librarian? What about Ms. Bundt? She's just an old lady."

Mackintosh gave Steve a severe look. "Before Ms. Bundt worked the reference desk in Ocean Park, she was undercover at Biblioteca Nacional de Nicaragua. She got into some pretty heavy stuff down there. They call her la Gata de la Muerte."

Steve didn't even pretend to know what that meant.

This was a lot to take in.

"I thought Librarians just loaned people books for free," Steve said.

Mackintosh winced. "Just loaned people books? Listen, Steven: Librarians are the guardians of knowledge. And yes, we make sure knowledge is available, gratis, to everyone. 'Just loaning them books,' as you so crudely put it, is an important job." He paused and looked right at Steve. "But it's not the reason we're proficient in seven different kinds of martial arts."

Steve shifted in his seat.

"You see, Steven, some information is so secret that only a highly trained secret-keeper can keep it. United States Librarians make sure America's secrets don't fall in front of the wrong eyes. Trust me, Steven: Librarians are just about the only thing holding this country together."

Steve thought for a second before speaking. "I don't believe you."

Mackintosh leaned back in his seat and folded his hands across his lap. "Steven, have you ever wondered why it costs so much to replace a library book when you lose one?"

Steve had wondered about that. A lot, actually. Last year he had lost a copy of "Bailey Brothers #33: The Case of the Missing Briefcase," and he'd had to pay thirty-five dollars. It had totally wiped out his savings. He'd had to use all his birthday money plus the secret roll of quarters he'd had stashed in the battery compartment of an old flashlight. He even had to break open his old piggy bank, which, embarrassingly, was shaped like a cartoon puppy. But it's upsetting to take a hammer to a cartoon puppy's head, no matter how old you are, and to this day Steve felt bad about it.

"Yeah, what's the deal with that?" he asked.

"It's because they're filled with top secret information. Microfilms. Microfiche. Microbooks. And then there are the secret codes."

"Codes?" asked Steve. Steve loved codes.

"I thought you might be interested," said Mackintosh slyly. "Detectives love codes. Every book published in the United States is given a number by the Headquarters, a.k.a the Library of Congress. These numbers hold encoded information for operatives at our various branches. Let me give you an example."

Mackintosh slid an alligator-skin attache case out from under his seat. He unfastened a pair of gold clasps and pulled out a neon green book. Multiple bookmarks poked out from its pages. Steve leaned forward to get a better look. The cover showed a man standing on his head next to a title that was written to resemble graffiti: "Slide Slides and Body Glides: A Beginner's Guide to the Funky, Fresh Art of Break Dancing."

Mackintosh opened the book to its copyright page and ran the well-manicured nail of his index finger along a row of numbers and letters: P6.A8S.C7BS2.Z51 SF.

"It's a cipher," said Mackintosh. "Code for 'Mouse Linebacker.'"

"Mouse Linebacker?" asked Steve.

"Quiet like a mouse, strong like a linebacker. Operation Mouse Linebacker was a Library program in East Berlin. And though few people know it, Mouse Linebacker was directly responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall."

"East Berlin?" asked Steve. "That was a long time ago."

"It's an old book," said Mackintosh sheepishly.

"Then why is it in your briefcase?"

Mackintosh said nothing. Instead he quickly gulped down a mouthful of water.

"Are you learning to break-dance?"

"This is my interrogation," snapped Mackintosh. His tone was harsh, but his cheeks were pink.

Case Study No. 0026: Onett City Librarian

Earthbound Playthrough #4
6:43
Check out the Onett Library.
Tags: Earthbound Playthrough Onett
Added: 5 years ago
From: Tork110
Views: 11,430

[Ness is walking around the city of Onett when he finds the library]
SIGN IN FRONT OF LIBRARY: "Onett Public Library." Use the library more!
GIRL IN FRONT OF LIBRARY: A library is a nice place to learn stuff. I got a lot of info about EarthBound. You can borrow maps for nothing!
[he enters the library and talks to the female librarian at the front desk]
LIBRARIAN: Hi! Kids can borrow only maps at this library. Do you want to borrow one?
[choose "No"]
LIBRARIAN: A man without a map isn't popular with the girls. Do you want one now?
[choose "Yes"]
LIBRARIAN: Here's a map. Onett isn't the only thing on the map. All the info is there, except for the info that isn't there. Pressing the X Button allows you to view the map at any time. How convenient! You know, the X Button... located near the top. Ha ha ha.
["Ness got the Town map."]
PATRON 1: I'm cramming for the big test tomorrow. It's about games. "Hotel Rule" ... if you stay at a hotel, you'll wake up with full HP and PP. "Life Recovery Rule" ... recovering your life will give you full HP, but zero PP. Hmmm ... I bet this stuff will be on the test ...
[tries talking to another patron sitting at a desk]
PATRON 2: ...
[tries again]
PATRON 2: Quiet!
[tries again]
PATRON 2: Shh! Shh! You're too loud! Try to move around quietly, Mr. Noisy pants.
PATRON 3: At Giant Step, there's a monster guarding that spot from the outside world. No one knows when the monster made Giant Step its territory. I wonder if he's stronger than my wife ...
[walks up to a patron wearing a hockey mask]
PATRON 4: ... ... ... (A man of few words. It's useless talking to him now.)
[enters another room]
PATRON 5: Recently, I sensed the presence of UFO's flying around ... or am I just dreaming?
PATRON 6: ... Shhh! You're bothering people!
[tries again]
PATRON 6: The truth is, I like to talk! Since I'm in a library, I'm trying to be quiet. Oh man!
[talks to another patron sitting at a desk]
PATRON 7: I recently read a book titled "Our Convenient Society." It said that our modern society demands that there always be an ATM in hotels and drugstores. Just knowing that is convenient! I'm glad I read the book ... I can't believe I didn't know this stuff. I'll check whether or not we have an ATM in our drugstore ...
[talks to another patron sitting at a desk]
PATRON 8: I read the book called "Our Society is Convenient." It said that these days, there are always telephones in hotels and drugstores. I also learned that to use a green pay phone costs a dollar, while the black phones are free. If you weren't aware of this, all your money could get eaten up by your phone calls. I'm glad I read that book ...
[walks up the stairs to the second floor and enters the room]
PATRON 9: I can't believe I saw it with my own eyes. I was staring out the window and there it was, just fluttering there ... I'd only seen it in the encyclopedia before. What was it? A Magic butterfly! If you get close to a Magic butterfly, all your cares fly away, just like a fluttering butterfly. Yep, yep! That's the effect of the legendary Magic butterfly. I love talking about it! Ooops! Sorry about the outburst ... I got carried away with all the talk about lovely butterflies ...
[talks to another patron sitting at a desk]
PATRON 10: I'm researching "Giant Step." It's located north and west of Onett. I heard it possesses a special power!
[walks toward the restroom, when a man runs across the screen and enters the restroom, locking the door behind him]
MAN IN LIBRARY RESTROOM: [after Ness knocks on the door] Don't talk to me! I ... I'm thinking ... !
[tries knocking again]
MAN IN LIBRARY RESTROOM: Uh no, I'm in here. Don't try to come in ... especially if you don't need to use the bathroom!
[tries knocking again]
MAN IN LIBRARY RESTROOM: Doesn't it seem like restrooms in bookstores and libraries are always crowded?

[...]

[Ness is staying at the Onett Hotel, where the bellboy delivers a complimentary issue of the Onett Times]
BELLBOY: [reading headline of the newspaper] "Onett Library facing crisis! Many book borrowers giving library books away or never returning them!"

[...]

[Ness and his friends have defeated the Starman Deluxe and freed its prisoners, including Apple Kid]
APPLE KID: What? You're looking for the book "Overcoming Shyness"? I returned it to the Onett library. Please use the book to help the shy Tenda tribe ... Anyway, because I knew you, I had an incredible experience ... wow! I was kidnapped by some of Giygas' toadies!
[Ness and his friends teleport back to the Onett Library]
LIBRARIAN: Hi! It's not necessary to return the map now. Come back in the year 2001 to return it.
NESS: [checking the bookshelves] (There are books other than "Overcoming shyness.")
NESS: [checking another bookshelf] (You found the book "Overcoming Shyness"!)
["Paula got the Shyness book."]
PATRON 4: Hi! Nice to meetchya! I'd really love to sit down and chat with you someday. I'll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all of your mistakes.
[Ness and his friends teleport back to Tenda Village]
TENDA CHIEF: ... We're all shy. Rumor, I heard a book to fix shyness, there is. Where? Don't know. Just a rumor.
[Paula gives him the Shyness book]
TENDA CHIEF: ... ! Book! Can fix shyness. Thanks. Relax. I'll read to everyone. Oh! Just holding this book in my hands makes me feel like I'm overcoming my shyness already! I'll really take time to read it to everyone!
["The leader of the Tenda tribe reads "Overcoming Shyness" to everyone."]
TENDA CHIEF: Chat, chat whisper, whisper ... I'd like to give you some "Tendakraut" in return. "Tendakraut" is a type of dish that all Tenda like. It stinks, but it tastes wonderful.
["Ness lends the leader of the Tenda tribe the book "Overcoming Shyness."]

[...]

[Ness visits the Onett Library to return the copy of "Overcoming Shyness"]
LIBRARIAN: ... Finally, you've come to return the book. Seems like you finished it. You're such a good boy. As a reward, I'll give you a kiss. Smack!

---

From gamefaqs.com:

Walk south and then west to the Library. Enter the Library and talk to the librarian near the entrance to receive a Map, an item that lets you see the layout of all major towns in the game. Press the X button to see a map of the town you are in. If you decide you don't need the Map, give it to Tracy or call Escargo Express. To learn Escargo Express's phone number, simply call Ness's mom from a telephone (see EXTRAS section below).

To the north of the library is a kid with shaggy hair. Enter the small recess in the cluster of trees next to the kid and walk north to enter the nearby tree house. Talk to the kid wearing the large red cap to receive the Mr. Baseball Cap and equip it on Ness.

[...]

After defeating the Starman Deluxe and talking to Apple Kid, teleport to Onett and go to the Library.

"Check" the bookshelves on the first floor of the Library for the Shyness Book. The book seems to always be on the left-most section of the bookshelf in the room on the right.

Teleport to Tenda Village and "use" the Shyness Book next to the Chief. The Chief will read the book to everyone in the village and give the party the Tendakraut, an item that will help you later.

Case Study No. 0025: Tammy Swanson

Parks and Recreation - Deleted Scene - Ron & Tammy
1:50
Parks and Recreation - Deleted Scene - Ron & Tammy

MEGAN MULLALLY SITES:

http://www.meganmullally.net


YOU CAN FOLLOW US AT:

http://www.megansmadams.com

http://www.twitter.com/megansmadams

http://www.myspace.com/madamsaj

http://www.facebook.com/ pages/ Megans-Madams/ 133075875832? ref=ts
Tags: megan mullally nick offerman parks and recreation ron and tammy karen walker will and grace party down starz ron swanson Leslie Knope Amy Poehler
Added: 1 year ago
From: megansmadams
Views: 13,371

[Leslie walks into Ron's office]
LESLIE: Hey, you wanna hear some amazing news? Your ex-wife Tammy works at the library, and they're trying to steal Lot 48 from us.
RON: Ohhh ...
LESLIE: She's that bad?
RON: Oh, it's like Hannibal Lector had sex with a car alarm, and their offspring made a baby with the ghost of Saddam Hussein.
LESLIE: What you're saying is that you two don't get along ...
RON: Not so much.
[cut to Leslie and Tammy walking down the hallway]
LESLIE: I don't wanna tell tales out of school, Tammy, but Ron was so wrong about you!
TAMMY: Oh, I'm sure he had some unkind words to say about me.
LESLIE: Well ...
[back to Ron's office]
RON: Tammy is the manipulative bitch by which all other manipulative bitches should be judged! A genetically mutated demon from hell, who was sent to Earth to castrate noble men! Tammy doesn't just destroy happiness where she finds it, she actively seeks it out and demolishes it! If happiness were truffles, Tammy would be a gigantic repulsive hog. Tammy's vagina is like if you took the tractor beam from the Death Star and inserted it where Jabba the Hutt's poo-hole is.
[back to Leslie and Tammy]
LESLIE: There's some anger there.
TAMMY: Y'know what? It's okay. I did some things that I really regret when I was married to Ron.
LESLIE: He said you seduced his father?
TAMMY: That was a misunderstanding. Ron's dad was hard of hearing, and I made a joke, and ... it was only one time and then we called it off, but y'know what? No. No excuses. It's just sad because I'm such a happier person now, and I just wish that Ron and I could have some closure.
LESLIE: Like when you slammed that door on Ron's face?
TAMMY: Not a horrible closure. Oh my gosh, is he okay?
LESLIE: Well, he still can't smell.
TAMMY: Oh ...
LESLIE: And he screams everytime he sneezes.
TAMMY: Oh my god, see? That's my fault.
LESLIE: Yeah ...
TAMMY: Listen, the important thing is that was the old Tammy. The new Tammy just wants Ron to be happy.

---

From wikipedia.org:

Tammy Swanson (played by Megan Mullally) made her first "Parks and Recreation" appearance during Season 2, Episode 7 ("Ron and Tammy").

She is one of two characters with the name Tammy Swanson, both of whom were formerly married to Ron Swanson. She is the Deputy Director of Library Services in Pawnee, Indiana. She and Ron briefly dated after the divorce but it ended shortly. However, Ron still has sexual feelings for her and Tammy is not afraid to use this to her advantage. Megan Mullally is Nick Offerman's wife in real-life. The other Tammy Swanson is just mentioned but never seen, and Ron has negative feelings towards her. She has the same name as her former mother-in-law, Ron's mother, Tammy Swanson.

---

From knopeknows.com:

[Mark enters the office to deliver some bad news to Leslie about her plans to build a park on Lot 48]
MARK: I don't wanna freak you out, but another department filed a planning claim for Lot 48 ...
LESLIE: ... Who?
MARK: ...
LESLIE: No ...
MARK: Yeah.
LESLIE: Dammit! The library?
[cut Leslie addressing the camera directly, as shots of the exterior of the Pawnee Library building are shown]
LESLIE: Pawnee's library department is the most diabolical, ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen! They're like a biker gang ... but instead of shotguns and crystal meth, they use political saavy and shushing!
[back to the office, where Mark has pulled Leslie aside to calm her down]
MARK: It's gonna be okay, it's not a done deal.
LESLIE: Yeah, you're right. Thanks for pulling me out of there. I need a good plan, though. I don't wanna cause a panic ...
[cut to Leslie addressing the rest of her staff]
LESLIE: Newsflash, we're screwed! We've got a big problem with the library!
TOM: Punk-ass book jockeys!
ANN: Wait, why do we hate the library?
LESLIE: The library is the worst group of people ever assembled in history! They're mean, conniving, rude, and extremely well-read which makes them very dangerous ... and they're trying to steal Lot 48 for a new branch!
EVERYONE: What?!?
LESLIE: Yeah, yeah!
JERRY: On 48?
LESLIE: Yeah!
[cut to Ann addressing the camera directly]
ANN: I actually think a library would be nice that close to my house ... [looks behind her as group is now talking about burning down the library] ... but I'm not about to say that in there.
[back to the group]
TOM: A new branch?
ANN: [forced anger] Aw, I hate them ...
LESLIE: Okay, we need to make contact with someone there. Does anyone know anybody that works at the library?
MARK: Uh, well, we actually kind of do. The new deputy director of the department is Tammy Swanson.
LESLIE: Ron's ex-wife? That's terrific! Or is that awful? I mean, he hates her, but he knows her. Everything's okay ... or is it just the same?
TOM: Leslie, you're thinking out loud again.
LESLIE: Am I? I am ...
[cut to Ron's office]
RON: Of course, that bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library. Now, that is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world!
LESLIE: I have to go talk to her, and you gotta give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
RON: No.
LESLIE: What do you mean, no? Everybody has a weakness.
RON: Not machines ... I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.

[...]

[Leslie is addressing the camera directly]
LESLIE: I'm just looking forward to a thoughtful debate with Tammy about the relative merits of parks versus libraries ... and in case something bad goes down, I wore my sharpest rings.
[cut to inside of Tammy's office in the library]
TAMMY: Hello.
LESLIE: Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, I called a little while ago.
TAMMY: You have a lotta nerve showing your face here.
LESLIE: Excuse me?
TAMMY: You have overdue book fees totalling three dollars, Missie ...
LESLIE: That is so typical, I should've known you'd use a low-blow dirty-pool BS move like that! That's why everybody hates the library! Here, y'know what, here's your three dollars [takes change out of her pocket and throws it on the desk] ... and I'll see you in hell!
[Leslie starts to leave but Tammy calls her back]
TAMMY: Leslie Leslie Leslie, I'm just kidding! My gosh! I mean, you did have three dollars worth of fines, but I cleared them. We government gals have to watch each other's backs, right?
LESLIE: I know this is a trap, but I don't know how ...
TAMMY: Okay, did you talk to Ron? Um, Ron tends to exaggerate when it comes to me. I swear I don't have cloven feet [laughs]. Please, sit down.

[...]

[Leslie confronts Tammy after she had sex with Ron in order to secure the rights to Lot 48]
LESLIE: Tammy, can I speak with you for a second? I know what you're doing. You don't care about Ron, you're just using him to get Lot 48 for your library!
TAMMY: Leslie, that's crazy ... and correct.
LESLIE: Why are you doing this?
TAMMY: Les, there are two kinds of women in this world. There are women who work hard and stress out about doing the right thing, and then there are women who are cool. You could either be a Cleopatra, or you could be an Eleanor Roosevelt ... [whispers] I'd rather be Cleopatra.
[cut to Leslie addressing the camera directly]
LESLIE: What kind of lunatic would wanna be Cleopatra over Eleanor Roosevelt?!?
[back to Leslie and Tammy in front of the elevator]
TAMMY: Haven't you ever messed with a man's head just to see what you could get him to do for you? We do it all the time in the library department, you should come join us sometime ... [gets on elevator]
LESLIE: I would never work at the library department! I'm gonna tell Ron what you just said, and this little game that you're playing is going to be over!
TAMMY: Okey doke ... [door closes]
LESLIE: Yeah, you'd better run! We're no longer government gals ...
[cut to Ron's office]
LESLIE: Look, we need to talk ... [sees him holding a piece of paper] Ron, no! [takes document out of his hand] "The Planning Department Reprioritization Document"?
RON: Calm down, I haven't signed it yet.
LESLIE: Yeah, well, you're going to, because Tammy wants you to and you do everything that she wants.
RON: She made some really good points about libraries ...
LESLIE: Are you even listening to yourself? You're defending the library now? Ron, the library! Of all the horrifying miserable things in the world ...
RON: Some people like libraries ...
LESLIE: [laughs] I can't even believe what I'm hearing! "Some people like libraries" ... Ron, she's in your head! You said that she was a manipulative monster and you were right.
RON: No no, Tammy's changed ...
LESLIE: Look me in the eye and tell me she's changed ... Look me in the eye!
RON: [he starts to crack] ... I'm so screwed, Knope! Her hooks are in my brain!
LESLIE: Yup.
RON: She has all the power, and I have nothing. I'm so little ... [starts crying]

[...]

[Leslie, waiting outside the library for Ron's decision, changes the sign outside to read "LIEBRARY SERVICRS"]
RON: [runs out of the building out of breath]
LESLIE: You didn't give her the lot!
RON: Let's get out of here ...
LESLIE: Is part of your moustache missing?
RON: Yes, just keep walking.
LESLIE: There's a pushpin in your face!
RON: Leave it in ... Can't you walk faster?
LESLIE: My legs are shorter than yours!

[...]

[Ron and Leslie are celebrating their victory]
LESLIE: Thank you for saving my future park. I know that must've been hard for you ... You didn't kill Tammy, did you?
RON: I'm afraid she can't be killed ... Tammy is a mean person.
LESLIE: Come on, Ron. You can do better than that.
RON: She's a grade-A bitch.
LESLIE: There we go.
RON: Everytime she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her?
LESLIE: She works for the library.
RON: She works for the library ...

Case Study No. 0024: Mrs. Davis

Librarians Dangereuse #1 Revised
3:36
What happnens when some guys cross a Cheerleader AND a Librarian ...

Revised version fixing up some things I was not happy with ... now, if only YT will allow me to upload the d**n thing ;-)
Tags: tg bodyswap m2f f2m revenge TheMovies
Added: 3 years ago
From: aspqrz
Views: 20,100

Lionhead Movies Presents
Librarians Dangereuse

[inside of Moore Valley High School]
NARRATOR: Good old MVH ... and only two weeks to Summer Break! Troy and Lara were just arriving. And, as usual, arguing about what they planned to do for the break, the last one before College.
[scenes of more students]
NARRATOR: They weren't the only one wondering what to do. A lot of couples were having the same "discussions". Well, that's what the girls tended to call them ... the guys called them "arguments." But not around their girlfriends, or girlfriends' girlfriends, if you get my drift.
[Troy and Lara head for the school library]
NARRATOR: The guys were looking forward to going away for College, rarely the same one as their girlfriends' choice ... and wanted to be "faithful" during the coming break, but "play the field" on Campus.
[Troy and Lara are sitting on the floor of the library and arguing]
NARRATOR: The girls weren't impressed ... they knew they were being dumped! Lara had known Troy since 1st Grade, and been in love with him as long. So they were having THE talk, and Troy was putting the word on Lara.
TROY: That's the way it's gonna be ...
NARRATOR: With the subtext "Take it or leave it!"
[Lara turns and stares at the bookshelves]
NARRATOR: Lara was devastated. She'd thought HER Troy was different ... but he wasn't. Or not enough. As she pretended to look at the books to hide her tears, Mrs. Davis the Librarian came over.
MRS. DAVIS: Tell me all about it, dear ...
[Lara and Mrs. Davis are walking through the library]
MRS. DAVIS: Men can really be inconsiderate pigs! It hasn't changed since I was your age ...
LARA: Really?
[they stop at a table where other girls are sitting]
MRS. DAVIS: Yes, but there's something we can do! Lara, you know Helen and Crystal? They've been dumped as well ... And they want to teach their cheating boyfriends a lesson, and this is the "Introductory Briefing" to see if you're committed enough to follow through. You see, it's pretty drastic ... won't actually HURT them. But it WILL be a "life changing" experience!
LARA: Well, count me in! What exactly is it we are going to do?
MRS. DAVIS: Well, that's something that's, well ... a HUGE secret. ALL of you have to PROMISE to NEVER tell.
NARRATOR: "We agree! Anything! Sure thing!" came the chorus of replies.
MRS. DAVIS: Great. Then come over to the Reserved Books shelving ... [mutters to self] Now, where WAS that book? Let me see, now ... Ah, THERE it is.
["A section of shelving swings open silently"]
LARA: Well, where's SHE gone?
MRS. DAVIS: [calling from inside the secret room that's opened up] Lara! Helen! Crystal! Over HERE! Quickly ... and be quiet!
NARRATOR: Mrs. Davis led us down a dark passage and down some stairs ... Into an Office.
MRS. DAVIS: [looking over a stack of papers] Part of the Regional Government program, a "secret" CD program from the '50s. NOTHING'S a secret from a LIBRARIAN! Of course, those fools didn't know they'd built on an old Spanish settlement, but we found these documents and the hidden cache ...
[camera focuses on a metal object on top of the desk]
MRS. DAVIS: ... and that's it, the Amulet of Avesta!

[...]

MRS. DAVIS: The amulet is, well, magic ... to change into someone else, simply by wearing it along with an item of the other person's. Clothing, or some other personal item. It's all quite simple, really. We can use it to teach those boys a serious lesson!
LARA: OK, Helen, let's see if this thing works as advertised!
HELEN: OK, Lara, you give me the amulet and an earring ...
LARA: Sure thing! Here you go!
[Helen transforms into a mirror image of Lara]
LARA: Oh ... my ... GOD!!! You're ... you're ...
HELEN: Lara?
LARA: You could be my identical twin!!! Why, even Troy wouldn't see any difference!
HELEN: So why don't we swap for tonight ...
LARA: A sort of "test run," you think?
HELEN: Sure, it will be fun ... and Dave will be as clueless as Troy!
NARRATOR: So Lara turned into Helen ... And Mrs. Davis and Krystal swapped as well.
[they emerge from the secret bookcase]
NARRATOR: And off the "girls" went to have some "fun" ...

[...]

KRYSTAL: So, we've seen how the Amulet works ...
MRS. DAVIS: The POWER it gives us!
HELEN: All we need now are some "props" ...
ALL: Retail therapy!
[they walk outside]
KRYSTAL: I want something suitably ... slutty for Steve!
LARA: And I saw the most darling "bridal lingerie" ... for Troy!
MRS. DAVIS: [they all get into Lara's car] Well, off to Centro Mall ... and Henry's Boutique!
[they arrive at the mall]
HELEN: I want something EMBARRASSINGLY revealing for Ben!
LARA: Of course! They have to feel like pieces of meat on display! [looks at brochure] See! Don't you think Troy will look really "bridal" in it? It's wonderful the contacts Agnes has!
[Lara goes up to the counter to pay]
STORE CLERK: That comes to $643.27, including tax. Cash or charge?
LARA: 10 percent off for cash?
STORE CLERK: Sure, like always! That's some pretty sexy stuff ...
LARA: Sure is, it's a wedding present for my Cousin!
STORE CLERK: She's lucky to have such a discerning cousin!
[the girls meet up outside the store]
LARA: Well, did you find something suitable?
KRYSTAL: Sure did! Steve will look like a little tramp!
LARA: And how about you, Helen? Some good shopping?
HELEN: You have no idea! I have the cutest dress for Ben!
LARA: Well, that's the guys "done" ... now for OUR outfits!
[the girls meet back up with Mrs. Davis]
MRS. DAVIS: So, Lara, I've found a bride who is happy for Troy to be her for her Honeymoon ... Helen, my friend the waitress is ready to swap with Ben. And Crystal, I've lined up a streetwalker to swap with Steve!
[cut to Lara waiting for Troy]
LARA: Dear! I look fine. I hope that Troy doesn't suspect anything! And I hope Helen, Crystal and Agnes are ready!
[Lara ends up in a hotel room with Troy, then spikes his drink to knock him unconscious]
LARA: Good. Completely out of it! He won't be aware of a THING ... until LATER. If only the rat had been more understanding!
MRS. DAVIS: [enters hotel room] Ah. Unconscious, I see. Ready for the next part?
LARA: Sure! Let him have a taste of ... marriage.
MRS. DAVIS: [throws him over his shoulder and carries him out of the room] From a perspective he never thought he'd experience!

[...]

[Troy wakes up in a remote cabin, only "he" is now in the body of a woman wearing lingerie]
TROY: Oooohhhhhh!!!!! Wha ... where ... the drink ... was SPIKED!!! Why would Lara do that? Where am I ... where's Lara? Oh my HEAD!!! I feel ... strange.
[looks in a mirror]
TROY: Oh ... MY ... GOD ... NOOOOOOOOO!!! It's not POSSIBLE!!! It CAN'T BE!!!!
[a nearby phone rings]
TROY: Who would be ringing here? [picks up phone] Hello? Who is this?
LARA: Hello Troy, or should I say ... Belinda ...
TROY: Lara? Is that you?
LARA: Sure is, lover ... And you better listen, and listen good! There's a letter on the top of the table behind you. It explains everything. [click]
TROY: [reading letter] Dear Belinda, as you know by now, you're NOT what you used to be. Dump me, will you? "Only sex is important!" Well, you'll learn ... GIRL. You're Belinda Goldman, age 32, and engaged to be married, TOMORROW. And if you ever want to pee standing up again, you WILL be getting married. And HONEYMOONING, AS Belinda. She's been very helpful to me, and will be VERY unhappy if you wreck her marriage! There's a picture of Greg Wilson, you fiancee, by the wall. And there's a packet of papers on the bookshelf, crib notes on "your" life. You better learn them well, or ... well, you may end up having Greg's children!

[...]

[Troy confronts Lara]
TROY: Do you realize what I've had to do the last 10 days? I had to sleep with Greg Wilson ... Bitch!
LARA: [crying] I'm sorry, but ... I, I loved you so much. I shouldn't have been a part of it, but I ... I wanted YOU to feel as used and dirty as I felt!
TROY: Well, that's simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! Playing God with my life ...
LARA: Well, it wasn't JUST you. Helen and Crystal ... well, they had Ben and Steve ... changed ... just as you were. But I found something scary in an old MVH Yearbook.
[she takes out the yearbook and the two look through it]
LARA: 30 years ago there was a spate of ... insanity, that hit the Cheerleading squad REALLY badly. Six of them were committed for treatment in the State Asylum, claiming they were actually guys from the team. Two committed suicide while in there, and another one did when "she" was released, supposedly "cured." I think they had done to them what ... I helped do to you! And I'm ... scared. Mrs. Davis didn't mention any of this. She MUST have known, and what she told us about the Amulet, well, it's obviously not the whole story!
TROY: So, you're saying that she ... tricked you? Why would she do that? What would her motive be?
[it is further revealed that "Ben" the hooker and "Steve" the waitress have both been murdered while in female form]
TROY: We've got to figure out what to do NEXT! I need to know ... EVERYTHING.
LARA: So, ask away. I'll tell what I know.
TROY: Well, how did you change us into girls?
[after Lara explains]
TROY: So, you drugged us and then used this ... Amulet of Avesta. A MAGIC Amulet.
LARA: Yes, Mrs. Davis said "they" found it ...
TROY: Yeah, in some "secret" bunker ... and you fell for it!
LARA: Well, when she showed us it WORKED, why would we ask any more questions?
TROY: Or, maybe because what you planned was morally WRONG!?
LARA: Yeah, I guess we weren't thinking clearly!

[...]

[Troy and Lara are inside her house]
TROY: I need to check out something on the Internet ... [types at computer] There's another possibility. But I'll need to hack into some heavy duty databases. Let's see ... ah, username, six alphanumeric ... Passcode. Backdoor ... Slipshod programming ... YES! I've got it! Mrs. Davis was at MVH 30 years ago! Which means Mrs. Davis played you right from the START!
LARA: And Helen, Crystal and I fell for it ... hook, line and sinker. We were FOOLS!!!
TROY: But if she was involved 30 years ago, why wait till now? And HOW was she involved ... she's no Cheerleader type! Unless, she was a VICTIM, and kept quiet!
[sound of a bottle smashing]
TROY: What's that sound?
[Troy opens the door and screams]
TROY: The house is on FIRE! We've got to get OUT of here! Someone threw a fire bomb! Which means that Mrs. Davis is probably behind it! How can we get out of here?
LARA: Follow me, Troy! QUICKLY ... RUN!!!
[Lara runs out the front door]
TROY: [still in the house] I'm right behind you, Lara!
[Lara is suddenly confronted by "Helen", who has apparently switched bodies with Mrs. Davis]
LARA: Wait a minute ... What are YOU doing here, Helen? What's going on?
MRS. DAVIS: You mean you, and dear sweet "Belinda" haven't figured it out YET?
["Belinda", who is still in the body of Troy, runs in from behind and grabs Lara, as Mrs. Davis begins punching her]
MRS. DAVIS: Well, it doesn't matter ... all we want for the moment is YOU!
TROY: [has finally gotten out of the house] Lara! What's going on?
MRS. DAVIS: Quick, get in the car and let's go!
[they drive off with Lara unconscious in the back]
MRS. DAVIS: See you later ... Belinda!
TROY: They've got Lara ... I've GOT to get her back! I've got to find out what's going on!
[Troy eventually tracks down their car parked in front of the school after hours]
TROY: There's the car they used, in the Faculty Parking area! Looks like I was right ...
[she enters the school's front entrance]
TROY: And the front door's open ... Better be careful. Might be a trap, and I'm in no shape to fight ... "Troy", damn those rotten SOBs to Hell! They're gonna PAY if I have anything to say about it! Still, better be careful ... and QUIET, you never know!
[she enters the library]
TROY: They're in here, I can hear them ... better be sneaky! Now, where ARE they?
[the two are arguing in front of the fake bookshelf]
BELINDA: But this isn't what we agreed to! We never said ANYTHING about all these DEATHS!
MRS. DAVIS: Oh darling, you're PRICELESS ... Shipping them off to some Asian or Central American whorehouse for the rest of their lives, servicing men's lusts with their bodies. THAT was BETTER than being DEAD?
BELINDA: I don't think Steve or Ben would agree ... But we didn't want any KILLING. Not after--
MRS. DAVIS: Last time? Well, what I found out about the Amulet makes your squeamish "morality" quite irrelevant. We really had no choice, you see ... Oh! You're such a FOOL. Well, come with me. I can see that you'll have to see it in black and white!
TROY: They planned to sell us as whores? That's ... that's twisted. Evil. Someone has to STOP them. For Ben and Steve ... and ... Lara. And I guess it's up to ME. I can hardly call the cops! They'd just think my story was crazy!
MRS. DAVIS: Damn! I can never find that damned book first time! Not even after all these years! Ah ... fourth row from the top ... THERE it is!
[she pulls the book and opens the secret entrance]
TROY: Well, they're gone ... I need to have a quick look around! Maybe there's some clues as to what's going on. Let's see. Hmmm.
[he stops at a file cabinet]
TROY: This filing cabinet, it's been left unlocked ... and it's ALWAYS locked during school hours! I wonder, let's see what she's got in here.
[he pulls out a folder]
TROY: Troy Nichols! Ben Hollows! Steven Jeffers! Files on US! These go back to Kindergarten! Surveillance photos, school reports ... we've been targetted all along! Maybe I've been too tough on Lara. Mrs. Davis, she's obviously been working on this a LONG time. Poor Lara was targetted as much as I was.
[he starts to cry]
TROY: The Librarian's gotta be a nut job! A manipulative ... SICK ... Nut Job! Well, she's gonna find that, whether I'm Troy Nichols or Belinda Goldman, I'm gonna kick some bookbinding Butt!
[he heads for the bookshelf]
TROY: Now, where's that secret door? Aha! There it is ... it hasn't locked properly! Well, it's ASS WHOMPIN' TIME ... I've got me some PAYBACK coming!
[he heads down the secret entrance]
TROY: [to himself] It's so dark, and scary, down here. I, I hope there aren't any ... RATS. Or ... BUGS.
[he hides behind a flight of stairs]
TROY: [to himself] I hear voices BEHIND me ... I better find a hiding spot! The voices are getting closer. It sounds like ... MY voice. But I don't recognise the other one ... or is it two? These tunnels distort all the sounds! Wait! The footsteps are coming closer ... Yes. Sit still, girl. They're right on top of you!
BELINDA: [carrying "Lara" over her shoulder] Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go ... Why do I get all the dirty work? Well, maybe I'll get to "have" her before they change her!
[she walks into a room and closes the door behind her, as Troy tries to eavesdrop]
TROY: [to himself] What's going on inside? It sounds like he's dumping her on the floor, and making a phone call ... "Almost ready" ... "Nine o'clock" ... "Robes" ... "Athame" ... "Incense" ... It sounds like they're planning some sort of Cult ritual! Damn! It's not just a magic amulet, it's some weird ass bunch of looney tunes cultists as well! Wait ... he's hung up!
[he hides as Belinda and "Helen" walk out of the room]
TROY: Where did Helen come from?
[he opens the door and finds Lara on the floor]
TROY: They're gone, I can rescue Lara! There she is! She's unconscious!
[he kneels down next to her]
TROY: Lara, honey! Are you alright? Is she ... have they DRUGGED her, or what? She's breathing, so she's alive! Lara, honey ... LARA ... I need you to WAKE UP! Come on! We've got to get OUT of here! There's no way I can carry you all by myself, not while I'm still Belinda. C'mon, honey!
["Lara" starts to stir]
TROY: Oh, thank GOD! She's coming around!
["Lara", who turns out to be Mrs. Davis newly transferred into her body, slowly stands up]
MRS. DAVIS: Unnggghhh ... argghh ... errr ... ummm. Where am I? What hit me? A truck? Troy! What are YOU doing here?
TROY: Well, when whoever "Helen" and "Troy" are snatched you, SOMEONE had to rescue you ... which meant, well, ME, pretty much!
MRS. DAVIS: So you didn't call the cops ... or tell anyone?
["Steve" comes up from behind and grabs Troy]
TROY: What! Lara! HELP!
HOOKER: Well, Billy-Bob ... what d'ya wanna do with this little lady?
MRS. DAVIS: Oh, if it weren't for what I found out, that Guatemalan whorehouse would be just about right!
["Lara" starts punching Troy in the face]
MRS. DAVIS: As it is, just a little roughing up will have to do!
[the scene changes to Mrs. Davis smoking a cigarette, while Belinda continues to punch Troy, who is now tied to a chair]
HOOKER: So, you stupid bitch ... who else did you tell? Poor little Belinda can't take it like a man, can she?
TROY: No no ... please stop. I can't tell you anything more!
MRS. DAVIS: Yeah, I guess she can't Jeffy ... Leave her alone for now.
TROY: What have you done with Lara?
MRS. DAVIS: Oh, she's the VIRGIN sacrifice to recharge the Amulet!

[...]

MRS. DAVIS: The plan is going well ... so far. But to make the changes reversible, we need at least one Virgin to be sacrificed. You see, Belinda dear, the Amulet is tricksy ... The FIRST change works fine, you can even change BACK. But after a Lunar month, regardless, of what body you're in, even your ORIGINAL one, you revert back to the FIRST! Of course, I didn't tell Lara, Helen or Crystal any of THAT! I let them think their revenge was ... reversible. So, BELINDA, I'd get used to that body if I were you!
[Mrs. Davis and her cohorts leave the room and lock the door]
TROY: Damn! Lara was a fool ... I'm stuck, unless this talk about "Virgin Sacrifices" is something to do with a way to prevent the reversal? And why are they talking of LARA as a sacrifice? I guess it's Mrs. Davis in her body. But Lara isn't a virgin ... hasn't been for three years now! So what is their plan?

[...]

[Troy has escaped the room by incapacitating the biker guard, and has snuck out of the school library]
TROY: [to himself] The Sacrifice ... something about the Old Church Library. I THINK they meant the University Theology Library.

[...]

[after finding out that "Belinda Goldman" was just an alias and his new body was really named Sharon Williams, Troy visits the Metro State University Library for clues]
TROY: Aha. The Head Librarian!
HEAD LIBRARIAN: Glad to meet you, Ms. Goldman, how can I help you? We don't get many celebs brightening up this dull place! Ah, Local Mysteries. Yes, I believe we have what you want! And the "Amulet of Avesta"? Mythology, Iberian. And, I believe, Mexican. Yes, I do believe there was something about it in ...
[cut to Troy sitting and reading a book]
TROY: [to himself] Wow! He practically fell all over himself to help! Being female was certainly an advantage THIS time! [starts reading] "Mysteries of Metro Valley" ... Hmm. The story goes back to Spanish colonial times, and a curse brought over from the Old World.
[he continues to read the book]
TROY: "Death" ... "insanity" ... I guess the Spanish couldn't cope with having NO cojones! "Roughly 28-32 year cycles" ... But no details that mention bodyswaps, though it's pretty obvious that's where the insanity comes in ... "Avesta = Goddess of Changes."
[he starts typing at a computer]
TROY: Let's see if I can match the MVH Yearbook database from 30 years ago with the people involved NOW ... Me. Lara. Ben. Steve. Mothers. Fathers. Or both. Holy crap! "Sharon Williams" is part of it, too ... I've got to talk to my parents and find what THEY know!

[...]

[Troy finds out that his parents, along with Lara's father Officer Dave Williams, were involved in the MVH cheerleading incident thirty years ago]
DAVE: [driving Troy and his mother in his police car] Okay ladies, I've contacted Hugo ... That's Hugo Jankowski, er, "Sharon" nee Julie Brown. He's a professor of Anthropology at Metro State University. He's been researching our "little problem" for the last 25 years.
[they pull up outside of the university]
DAVE: Once I told him of Agnes Davis's interests ... well, he was able to find out what books she'd be accessing.

[...]

[Troy's mother Vicky and Lara's mother Sally confront the professor]
HUGO: Oh, hello "Sally" ... I've been researching, and I'm pretty sure I've found what Mrs. Davis did.
SALLY: Well? Don't keep it a secret! What IS it that's so important? You realize that the lives of my Lara and Vicky's Troy are at risk ... and those of several others as well!
HUGO: Yes, Dave said something of the sort. Well, it's like this ... she was using the "Codex Callemas", a new acquisition, and it includes a treatise on Hermetic Magic, including the "Avestan Apocalypse."
VICKY: Oh dear. "Apocalypse" as in "the end of everything?" Does that mean that Troy and Lara are doomed? Like WE were, back in '77?
HUGO: No! Not at all! "Apocalypse" means "revealing the hidden." The Manuscript tells of the creation of the Amulet, the nature of the curse ... which we experience. But it also tells more, MUCH more.
[the professor explains what he can decipher from the cryptic medieval Spanish verse, then Sally and Vicky leave]
VICKY: Well, I suppose it's SOME help. Since we know that this only started two weeks ago, and the sacrifice can't take place until the end of the 28-day active cycle of the changes, it means that Davis woman WON'T have sacrificed Lara yet. So she must have her stashed away somewhere ...
SALLY: Yes. But, well, you know as well as I do that Lara and Troy have almost certainly slept together, and if Lara ISN'T a virgin, and that part's EASY to translate, then Mrs. Davis has no reason to keep her alive! Which doesn't help us at all. She's probably killed her already, and it's just ... just ... that her body hasn't been found yet! Oh, my poor Lara ... I don't know what I'll do if she's dead!
VICKY: I don't think it's that clear cut, Sally ... Hugo made it clear he hasn't deciphered the whole text! He also made it clear that the meanings are ... ambiguous! I suspect Agnes Davis isn't taking any chances. That she's got Lara stashed somewhere ... for the moment!

[...]

[Troy and Dave have just returned from the secret headquarters of Los Diablos Muertes, who are somehow connected with Mrs. Davis, and where Dave was forced to shoot his daughter "Lara" ... however, it turned out to actually be a gang member in her body, and Lara is now in the body of Detective Adam Kosciosko]
TROY: "Adam", well, when your Dad and I had to kill the ... fake Lara ... well, I found this folder in the gang's HQ. And it's all about US ... and Ben, Steve, Crystal and Helen! I need a computer, you read the file while I get one set up.
LARA: Damn! You realize, "Sharon", that Mrs. Davis has been spying on us since before we were born.
TROY: [typing on computer] Yeah, but a lot is in code, and the rest is obscure, but I think there are some search strings I can run and some simple code-breaking sites I can access. How complex a code will some gangbangers use?
[the computer screen shows a "DNA Match" for Mrs. Davis]
TROY: Here's the first results. Mrs. Davis is ... interesting. Here's some footage of her at some "Rehab Ranch" for reforming ex-gang members in Arizona, and that guy with her is Miguel Gomez, the manager. The Rehab ranch is a cover, according to the file, and it has something to do with the Amulet! But that part's coded and I haven't cracked it ... yet!
LARA: So, you want to go and check it out, I guess, hey?
[Troy and Lara stop at a diner on their way to the ranch, when Troy gets a call on his cell phone]
TROY: Who is this? Mom? Mr. Williams?
MRS. DAVIS: No, Troy dear ... or should I say "Sharon" dear? Surely you recognise your OWN voice? But that doesn't help, does it? It's me, Helen Davis, in your body for the moment. Rumours of your death would seem to be an exaggeration, wouldn't you say? You're wondering how I got your new Cell number? Well, Librarians can find out ANYTHING. Especially when they have your Mother, Vicky!
TROY: Oh no, it can't be ... MOM! THEY HAVE MOM!
LARA: What's wrong, Sharon, honey?
TROY: What's WRONG?! That bitch Mrs. Davis has kidnapped my Mom! That's what's wrong! And it's ALL YOUR FAULT! If you hadn't got me mixed up in her mad scheme ... my family and I would be OK!

[...]

[Troy and Lara are spying on the ranch and the surrounding area]
LARA: Well, the General Store seems to be just that. The Hardware Store, looks like it's an equipment store. The Gunsmith ... no one's gone in. But it's padlocked. You getting all this down, Sharon, hon?
TROY: Don't you "hon" me, "Adam"! Yeah, I'm getting it down.
[Mrs. Davis, back in her librarian form, and a gangmember have snuck up behind them with guns drawn]
GANGBANGER: Right you motherfuckers ... HANDS UP! And don't do anything dumb!
MRS. DAVIS: My my my ... Lara and Troy, said the spider to the fly. How good of you to enter my web. Didn't you know Cell phones have GPS chips? We've known you were on your way here the WHOLE time! Didn't I TELL you, LIBRARIANS know EVERYTHING! And that includes knowing hackers who've cracked the secure GPS databases at Bell!
[she marches Troy and Lara towards her secret hideout in the ranch]
MRS. DAVIS: And now you two lovebirds are here ... how romantic! So, my plans are coming along nicely. If only your father was as naively trusting as you, Lara dear! As it is, he's been a major obstacle to "The Plan." But now that we have you, Troy, and Mrs. Nichols, we may be able to draw his teeth. He'll be so worried about me having you three, even if he doesn't do a deal, it will slow him down! And you two ... silly little fools, your presence will further my plans immeasurably ... thinking with your dick or twat will do it every time!
LARA: Well, what's this "plan" you keep ranting about?
MRS. DAVIS: You really don't have a clew? Well, it involves Sharon ...
TROY: Oh no! Not ME! What have Lara and I ever done to YOU? You've just GOT to change me back ... and Lara, too. And give up these crazy ideas!
MRS. DAVIS: You silly girl! Just what are YOU going to do to stop me!
LARA: Well, Troy and I may not be able to ... but my dad, you won't stop HIM. Even if you DO have us.
MRS. DAVIS: That, you little fools, is EXACTLY what I'm hoping for ... that he'll rush in carelessly and be an easy target!
[they descend into a basment level area]
MRS. DAVIS: In the meantime, let me show you to your quarters ... we reserve for SPECIAL guests like you two!
[they are put in a holding cell with Vicky]
MRS. DAVIS: Well, here we are ... enjoy your reunion!
VICKY: They got me by boxing my suppposedly "clean" car in on the I-678 and forcing me off the road. I don't understand HOW they ID'ed me ...
LARA: Mrs. Davis keeps on saying she finds these things because she's a Librarian ... but that's silly.
TROY: Don't you get it? She must have agents INSIDE Metro PD!

[...]

[federal agents have stormed the Rehab Ranch, giving the three prisoners a chance to escape while Mrs. Davis and her gangmbers exchange gunfire with the agents]
MRS. DAVIS: [shooting one of the agents] Take THAT you government swine!
[the three manage to escape the underground facility and head back to the ranch]
LARA: This is where Mrs. Davis questioned us, but there's no-one here ... Where'd your Mom go?
VICKY: [bursts through door] Well, we're safe ... for the moment. What next?
LARA: [opens another door] There must be something behind this Vault door ... and it's not locked.
[they run down the hallway behind the door]
LARA: Quick! There's a passageway at the back!
[the hallway leads to another trick bookcase, which opens to reveal a large library]
TROY: Holy crap! Look at THIS ... a whole frickin' library! There must be SOME reason this is HIDDEN!
VICKY: These are ANCIENT books ... must be to do with the AMULET!
TROY: Right! We need to search for any information! Lara, over there ... Mom, over THERE.
[they begin to look around the various bookshelves]
TROY: Mom's right ... these all are OLD, and mostly on MAGIC! But where on earth should we look? It's not as if we've got all the time in the world!
LARA: Hot damn! So ... so ... MANY ... books!
TROY: Will it be under "A" for "Amulet"? Or maybe "M" for "Magic Amulet"? Or "Avesta" after its name? Or, maybe ... "Spanish Magic, Ancient"?
[stops at one shelf]
TROY: Let's see ... "Pre-Christian Spanish Magic" ... aha! "Rituals" ... "Sacrifices" ... "Sacred Sites" ...
[pulls out a book]
TROY: Got it! This is from the University Library! It must be the book they stole! Reversion can be stopped by a Virgin sacrifice, at the nearest full moon to the end of the 28 days.
[turns to Lara]
TROY: Lara ... Virgin means someone who hasn't ever used Magic! So EITHER of us could be used by Mrs. Davis!
LARA: ... So we better not let her catch us!
TROY: Mom ... Lara and I are targets for sacrifice! But there's a chance we can save Ben and Steve. When we revert, even DEAD people are re-embodied!

All events and characters in this movie are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
www.themoviesgame.com

---

From uidaho.edu:

For example, the mixing of the sexy librarian and the Old Maid librarian provides an especially powerful critique of traditional librarian stereotypes as well as the notion that intelligence and attractiveness cannot be found in one person. The video "Librarians Dangereuse" (created using the PC video game "The Movies") depicts an attractive grey bun-headed librarian helping high school cheerleaders with their boy problems; it combines a traditional Old Maid image with that of a librarian acutely aware of sexual issues that teenagers face.

Case Study No. 0023: Courtesy Node 710/aqua

Doctor Who:- Silence In The Library - Next Time - BBC One
0:38
All Rights To The BBC
Tags: doctor who silence in the library next time trailer
Added: 3 years ago
From: PineapplePinyata
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From bbcentertainment.com:

Doctor Who
"Silence in the Library"

One hundred years ago, the Universe's greatest library was sealed off with only a cryptic warning as explanation: "Count the shadows." However, it now appears that the shadows are on the move again.

Can The Doctor (David Tennant) and Donna (Catherine Tate) find the terrible truth behind the Nodes and the horrifying Data Ghost to uncover the Library's secret, before the terrifying Vashta Nerada, the piranhas of the air, claim more victims? And who is the mysterious Professor River Song, the archaeologist, who seems to know the Doctor's secrets?

---

From wikia.com:

Silence in the Library was the eighth episode of the fourth series of Doctor Who. It marked the first appearance of River Song, a mysterious person with an important role in the Doctor's personal future.

Synopsis:
A little girl seems to be going through a therapeutic session with psychologist named Doctor Moon. She reveals that she has a Library, a whole world, which she sees whenever she closes her eyes. It is a peaceful place; entirely empty of human life... but suddenly the girl's imaginary world is interrupted by the arrival of two mysterious strangers.

The Doctor and Donna arrive, in the 51st century, on a planet-sized book repository simply called "The Library". The Library is a world, home to every book ever written, powered by the most powerful computer ever. Though the Doctor has received a message for help on his psychic paper, and though the Library's computers claim over "a million million lifeforms" are present, they find the Library deserted. A Node, a statue with a strangely realistic human face, warns them to beware the shadows... just as the lights begin to go out around them. The travellers race through the Library stacks, eventually finding a central room that is well lit. As they try to figure out more about the Node's enigmatic warning, they encounter a team of explorers led by archeologist River Song. Professor Song explains that she and her team are there with Mr. Strackman Lux (whose family had built the Library) to learn why the Library has been sealed for the last one hundred years.

The Doctor quickly organises the team to make sure the area is well lit as he explains that the shadows are occupied by the Vashta Nerada, microscopic carnivorous creatures that use shadows to hunt and latch onto their prey. The team works to find a way out of the library. However, Mr. Lux's assistant, Ms. Evangelista, wanders off and falls prey to the Vashta Nerada, her body eaten away in seconds. The Doctor and Donna learn that the exploration team each wears a communication device which has a glitch called "Data Ghosting" where a copy of a person's consciousness is temporarily held within it for a short time after death, allowing them to communicate briefly with the living.

Professor Song's behaviour throughout is markedly curious. First, she appears to know the Doctor quite well, though from some point in his own personal future. She carries a diary that seems to be about the Doctor's life with a cover that looks like his TARDIS, and she possesses a more rugged version of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver, which she claims was a gift from the Doctor himself. Also, when the Doctor mentions Donna's name, she knows her surname and seems shocked that it's her. Donna asks where she is in this future where River knows the Doctor. River goes silent.

The young girl who dreams of the Library, meanwhile, sees the team through the eyes of a security camera when they first break into central room. Later, they appear on her television as the Doctor attempts to hack the Library computers. When she fiddles with the television's remote, she causes events to occur in the Library. The girl is under observation from Dr. Moon, a child psychologist, at the request of her dad. Dr. Moon, however, appears to have significant knowledge of the situation of the Doctor, Donna, and the exploration team. He reveals that her reality is an illusion, that her nightmares are reality, and that only she can save all the people trapped in the Library. The final mystery appears to be the word "CAL" that appears at times on the Library screens, the Doctor wondering who or what that means.

The team's investigation is interrupted when the pilot "proper Dave" acquires an extra shadow. The Vashta Nerada have attached themselves to him. The Doctor attempts to teleport Donna back to the TARDIS while he leads the rest of the team to safety, but something goes wrong in the teleport and Donna fails to materialize properly. The Doctor attempts to save proper Dave, but Dave is quickly eaten away. As proper Dave's data ghost echoes his last thoughts, the organisms take control of his suit and approach the rest of the group. River uses a sonic blaster to make a hole in the wall, and they race away from the possessed suit. They run down a dead-end hallway as the suit approaches. The Doctor is horrified to find a Node with Donna's face on it... which claims that Donna has left the Library and has been "saved" ...

Continuity:
As shown on the BBC Doctor Who website, there are a number of books in the library that reference previous episodes. Those seen are the operating manual for the TARDIS, Origins of the Universe (DW: Destiny of the Daleks), The French Revolution (DW: An Unearthly Child), the Journal of Impossible Things (DW: Human Nature/The Family of Blood), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (written by Douglas Adams, former Doctor Who writer and script editor), Everest in Easy Stages (DW: The Creature from the Pit) and Black Orchid (a book first seen in the Fifth Doctor serial DW: of the same name).

---

From wikia.com:

The Library was a planet-sized library that was built during the 50th century. It contained every book ever written. Within its core was the largest hard drive ever, serving as an index computer, as well as containing backup copies of every book ever written. The planet had one moon, which was actually an antiviral subroutine having the physical appearance of a moon. Due to its caretaking role, it was known as a Doctor Moon.

The Library was commissioned by Felman Lux and was managed by a head Librarian. Visitors to the Library used courtesy nodes, sculpted computer terminals containing real faces made from donated flesh. The security cameras were levitating wooden spheres. Visitors were advised to switch off their mobile comm units.

Paper editions of every book ever written were made specially for the Library. Unfortunately, the forests cut down to make the books were home to Vashta Nerada (microscopic carnivorous beings that lived in swarms), which then hatched from the books and infested the Library. The computer managed to "save" all 4022 visitors to its hard drive, where they could dream an imperfect virtual existence. The computer sealed off the planet, and it would be 100 years before the Lux family could arrange an archaeological expedition led by Professor River Song. (DW: Silence in the Library)

The Doctor and Donna Noble arrived after being asked to come by River Song, via his psychic paper. The Doctor helped to return the visitors and agreed with the Vashta Nerada to make sure no one arrived in the Library again. (DW: Forest of the Dead)

---

From twiztv.com:

DOCTOR
Books! People never really stop loving books.

While he speaks, he picks up his coat and exits the TARDIS, followed by Donna. They arrive to a huge but empty reception area.

DOCTOR
51st century. By now you've got holovids, direct to brain downloads, fiction mist, but you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath.

They cross the room and go through a door. They walk down the staircase and get to see the surface: a huge city all filled with book shelves.

DOCTOR
The Library. So big it doesn't need a name. Just a great big "the."

DONNA
It's like a city.

DOCTOR
It's a world. Literally a world. The whole core of the planet is the index computer, biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Whole continents of Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python's Big Red Book. Brand new editions, specially printed. We're near the equator, so... (he licks his finger then lifts it up to feel the wind) this must be Biographies! I love biographies!

DONNA
Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.

DOCTOR
You need a good death. Without death, there'd only be comedies. Dying gives us size.

Donna picks up a book but the Doctor snatches it off her.

DOCTOR
Oi! Spoilers!

DONNA
What?

DOCTOR
These books are from your future. You don't wanna read ahead, spoil all the surprises. Like peeking at the end.

DONNA
Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?

DOCTOR
I... try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be very bad at, cos you know what? This is the biggest Library in the universe. So where is everyone? It's silent.

He goes to an information terminal and starts to fiddle on it with the sonic.

DONNA
The Library?

DOCTOR
The planet. The whole planet.

DONNA
Maybe it's a Sunday.

DOCTOR
No, I never land on Sundays. Sundays are boring.

DONNA
Well... Maybe everyone's really, really quiet.

DOCTOR
Yeah, maybe. But they'd still show up on the system.

DONNA
Doctor, why are we here? Really, why?

DOCTOR
Oh, you know, just passing.

DONNA
No, seriously. It was all, "let's hit the beach" then suddenly we're in a Library. Why?

DOCTOR
Now, that's interesting.

DONNA
What?

DOCTOR
Scanning for life forms. If I do a scan looking for your basic humanoids - you know, your book readers, few limbs and a face (we see the terminal's screen: "filtered humanoid lifeform scan; 2; complete") - apart from us, I get nothing. Zippo, nada, see? Nobody home. But if I widen the parameters to any kind of life...

He pushes some keys, numbers run on the screen until it stops and writes "error; 1.000.000.000.000; lifeform number capped at maximum record."

DOCTOR
A million million. Gives up after that. A million million.

DONNA
But there's nothing here. There's no-one.

DOCTOR
And not a sound. A million million life forms, and silence in the Library.

DONNA
But there's no-one here. There's just books. I mean, it's not the books, is it? I mean, it can't be the books, can it? I mean, books can't be alive?

They look at each other then cautiously reach towards a book. Just before they would touch it they hear a voice, making them both jump.

NODE
Welcome!

DONNA
That came from in there.

DOCTOR
Yeah!

They head back to the reception. They see a Node there - it looks like a modern statue with a living face mounted into it's head.

NODE
I am Courtesy Node 710/aqua. Please enjoy the Library and respect the personal access codes of all your fellow readers regardless of species or hygiene taboo.

DONNA
That face, it looks real.

DOCTOR
Yeah, don't worry about it.

DONNA
But a statue with a real face, though! It's a hologram or something, isn't it?

DOCTOR
No, but really, it's... fine.

NODE
Additional. There follows a brief message from the head librarian for your urgent attention. It has been edited for tone and content by Felman Lux Automated Decency Filter. Message follows. "Run. For God's sake, run. No way is safe. The Library has sealed itself, we can't... Oh, they're here. Arg. Slarg. Snick." Message ends. Please switch off your mobile comm units for the comfort of other readers.

DOCTOR
So that's why we're here... Any other messages, same date stamp?

NODE
One additional message. This message carries a Felman Lux coherency warning of 5, 0, 11...

DOCTOR
Yeah, yeah, fine, fine, fine, just play it.

NODE
Message follows. "Count the shadows. For God's sake, remember... if you want to live, count the shadows." Message ends.

DOCTOR
Donna...

DONNA
Yeah?

DOCTOR
Stay out of the shadows.

DONNA
Why, what's in the shadows?

They go through another door and arrive to an aisle between bookshelves, several floor high, reaching as far as they can see.

DONNA
So... We weren't just in the neighbourhood.

DOCTOR
Yeah, I kind of, sort of lied a bit. I got a message on the psychic paper.

He shows it to Donna - the message is "The Library. Come as soon as you can. x"

DOCTOR
What do you think? Cry for help?

DONNA
Cry for help - with a kiss?

DOCTOR
Oh, we've all done that.

DONNA
Who's it from?

DOCTOR
No idea.

DONNA
So why did we come here, why did you...

DOCTOR
Donna!

The lights on the far end of the corridor go out and the darkness seems to move towards them.

DONNA
What's happening?

DOCTOR
Run!

They run until they reach a door. The Doctor tries to open it but he can't.

DOCTOR
Come on!

DONNA
What, is it locked?

DOCTOR
Jammed! The wood's warped!

DONNA
Sonic it, use the thingy!

DOCTOR
I can't, it's wood!

DONNA
What, it doesn't do wood?!

DOCTOR
Hang on, hang on, if I can vibrate the molecules, fry the bindings, I can shatterline the interface...

DONNA
Oh, get out of the way!

She kicks the door open, they burst into the room, shut the door and use a book to bolt it - same scene we've seen in the pre-credits sequence.

DOCTOR (to the Girl)
Oh! Hello! Sorry to burst on you like this. OK if we stop here for a bit?

As the Girl opens her eyes and returns to her world, in the Library a sphere falls to the ground where she used to be.

DONNA
What is it?

DOCTOR
Security camera. Switched itself off.

He picks it up and starts to examine it.

***
THE GIRL
They were in my Library. How can they be in my Library?

DOCTOR MOON
Who were they?

We hear the sound of the sonic screwdriver and the Girl puts her hands on her ears in pain.

THE GIRL
What's that? What's that noise?

DAD
What noise?

***
In the Library, the Doctor sonics the security camera.

DOCTOR
Nice door skills, Donna.

DONNA
Yeah, well, you know, boyfriends... sometimes you need the element of surprise. What was that, what was after us? I mean, did we just run away from a power cut?

DOCTOR
Possibly.

DONNA
Are we safe here?

DOCTOR
Course we're safe. There's a little shop.

We see the sign on the wall pointing towards the shop.

DOCTOR
Gotcha!

The cover on the security camera's lens opens.

***
In her home, the Girl is on the ground crying in agony. Under her, there's a symbol on the floor identical to the one on the lens cover of the security camera.

THE GIRL
No, stop it, no, no!

***
The Girl's words appear on a display of the camera.

DOCTOR
Ooh, I'm sorry. I really am, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. (he puts down the sphere) It's alive.

DONNA
You said it was a security camera.

DOCTOR
It is. It's an alive one.

***
The Girl is still on the floor, now quiet. Her dad and Dr Moon are comforting her.

DR MOON
Can you hear me? Are you all right?

THE GIRL
Others are coming.

DR MOON
Who's coming? Who are the others?

THE GIRL
The Library is breached. Others are coming.

DR MOON
What others?

***
Again, the Girl's words are appear on the display.

DONNA
Others? What's it mean, "others"?

The Doctor is just as puzzled as her, so she turns to a Node in the room. This one has a different face.

DONNA
Excuse me, what does it mean, "others"?

DOCTOR
That's barely more than a speak your weight machine, it can't help you.

DONNA
So why's it got a face?

NODE
This flesh aspect was donated by Mark Chambers on the occasion of his death.

DONNA
It's a real face?!

NODE
It has been actualised individually for you from the many facial aspects saved to our extensive flesh banks. Please enjoy.

DONNA (shocked)
It chose me a dead face it thought I'd like? That statue's got a real dead person's face on it...

DOCTOR
It's the 51st century, that's... basically like donating a park bench.

DONNA
It's donating a face!

In horror, she backs away from the Node.

DOCTOR
No, wait, no!

He grabs Donna at the waist to prevent her from entering into a dark shadow behind her. She slaps on his hands.

DONNA
Oi! Hands!

DOCTOR
The shadow, look.

DONNA
What about it?

DOCTOR
"Count the shadows."

DONNA
One. There, I counted it, one shadow.

DOCTOR
Yeah... But what's casting it?

They look around but can't see anything that could cast it.

Case Study No. 0022: Karen

The Go-Betweens -Karen
4:06
The first single,released in 1978, both for the band and the band's own Able Label. 500 copies pressed. The master tapes for this and the second single were lost, forcing all reissues of these songs to be made from the vinyl,and not until 1999 when their ''lost album" was issued.Karen was the B-Side to Lee Remick.

I just want some affection
I just want some affection
I don't want no hoochie-coochie mama
No back door woman
No Queen Street sex thing
I want a tiger on bended knees
With all the kindness of the Japanese
I just want some affection
I wish I heard voices
Wish I was a telephone

Karen yeah-yeah, Karen yeah-yeah
Karen yeah-yeah, Karen yeah-yeah yeah
I said yeah, oh Karen!

I know this girl
This very special girl
And she works in a library, yeah
Standing there behind the counter
Willing to help
With all the problems that I encounter

Helps me find Hemingway
Helps me find Genet
Helps me find Brecht
Helps me find Chandler
Helps me find James Joyce
She always makes the right choice

She's no queen
She's no angel
Just a peasant from the village
She's my god, she's my god
She's my g-o-d, she's my god, yeah, yeah
She's my g-o-o-d, yeah

Oh, she's my god now Yeah!
Karen yeah-yeah, Karen yeah-yeah
Karen yeah-yeah, Karen yeah-yeah yeah
I said yeah, oh Karen!

And she stands there in the library
Like a nun in a church does
Like a nun in a church does
She stands there all alone
'Cos she gets me something that I
Just can't get now anywhere else
Cause the girls that I see
Walking around, yeah the ones I see
Walking on the street
Are so damn-da-da-da-damned cold
'Cos they must have eskimo blood in their veins
And the one that I want
I just can't see
I can't see her there
I can't see her anywhere

Alright!
Oh Karen yeah-yeah...
Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen!
Tags: Music
Added: 2 years ago
From: hanktsinanski
Views: 16,370

From google.com:

But although Robert Forster had an abiding interest in the 1960s, and though "(I'm) Stranded" struck him solidly when he first heard it on the radio, his own breakthrough song about Brisbane and isolation was no rapid dirge. It was the plaintive, esoteric "Karen."

The music to "Karen" was simple, and obviously influenced by Jonathan Richman, who had become something of an important figure in the 1970s with his trademark naivete. Like "Lee Remick," the later song which it would be paired with on the first Go-Betweens single, the central figure of "Karen" is not the woman of its title, but Forster himself, lonely in Brisbane and pining for a connection to other worlds and exotic cultures. The exotic might be found in faraway cultural centers like New York or Paris, or in the female world, which was probably more alien still to the eighteen-year-old Forster. There is a strong thread of asceticism in "Karen"; though its narrator returns to the theme of wanting affection, he also denies that his desire is sexual. It is the desire for knowledge: Karen, a composite character derived from a number of female librarians at the university library, helps him find the "right" authors: Hemingway, Genet, Joyce. Forster was asked to explain the song in 1979:

FORSTER: Once I lost my wallet in the library, and the amount of anguish that they went through to try and find it ... They were standing at the counter willing to help people and that struck me as some sort of social- worker, nun-type role that I could see coming out of being a librarian, so I wrote that song about them. I knew one of them personally and I was doing an assignment and I worked with another one that I knew.