Case Study No. 1933: Kevin from the African American Research Library

Adam Carolla versus the African-American Research Library!
5:37
Kevin the Librarian wants to become Adam's official Black Correspondent (tm) ...

From the November 18th (2014) episode of the Adam Carolla Podcast. Used without permission.
Tags: adam carolla podcast african american research library fort lauderdale florida FiyahMuZik
Added: 5 months ago
From: BoondyAlBoondy
Views: 199

ADAM CAROLLA: Hey, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes, sir!
ADAM CAROLLA: You're twenty nine from Florida?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes I am.
ADAM CAROLLA: Have you ... You wanna know--
KEVIN: [over the phone] I'm at work.
ADAM CAROLLA: Do I need a black correspondent?
BALD BRYAN: Ooh, you're at work?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yeah.
BALD BRYAN: That's not good for a black correspondent.
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah.
[everyone laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: We're lookin' to go a little more ethnic.
BALD BRYAN: Sorry, Kevin.
ADAM CAROLLA: Um ...
KEVIN: [over the phone] But I--
BALD BRYAN: I'm sure you're a good guy.
KEVIN: [over the phone] I left my post, so I might be fired in a minute.
BALD BRYAN: Ooh!
KEVIN: [over the phone] So hey, I may be unemployed.
BALD BRYAN: He's back in the running!
JO KOY: There you go! Yeah, now you got it!
ADAM CAROLLA: Waddaya do, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Hey, y'know?
ADAM CAROLLA: Waddaya do, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Oh, I work at a library, I'm a library specialist--
ADAM CAROLLA: Awww!
JO KOY: What the heck?
KEVIN: [over the phone] I know ...
BALD BRYAN: That took a hit!
ADAM CAROLLA: Whooo ... Hold on! Is the library in a prison?
KEVIN: [over the phone] I do a little--
[Jo Koy laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: No, I think I can save this! I think I can save this!
BALD BRYAN: There's a glimmer of hope!
ADAM CAROLLA: I've seen a lotta movies where they have to restock the books!
BALD BRYAN: That's right ... He comes by the cell, "You want a book?"
ADAM CAROLLA: Tryin' to get you a gig here, Kevin, listen carefully! Alright ...
KEVIN: [over the phone] Okay.
ADAM CAROLLA: Have you been tweeting me, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes I have.
ADAM CAROLLA: And you've been wanting to know if you can be the show's black correspondent?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes, yes sir.
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm, what do you do at the library?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Uh, I work--
[Jo Koy interrupts with his "angry black man" impersonation]
JO KOY: Not read, mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: Oh, now listen--
[Kevin laughs]
JO KOY: I'll tell ya that much right now!
ADAM CAROLLA: Listen, Brown Sugar ...
KEVIN: [over the phone] You're damn right I don't read!
JO KOY: These books, they're just takin' up space!
[Adam laughs]
JO KOY: Mutha fucka, replace these books ...
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah?
JO KOY: With videos a-and fuckin' TVs!
ADAM CAROLLA: Uh--
JO KOY: What the fuck we need books for, mutha fucka?
ADAM CAROLLA: It's called a library, they have--
JO KOY: Lie-brerry?
ADAM CAROLLA: Library.
JO KOY: Lie-brerry?
[Kevin laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Library.
JO KOY: Well, what we gonna do with all these books?
ADAM CAROLLA: Read 'em?
JO KOY: Say there a fire happen!
ADAM CAROLLA: Fire happens?
JO KOY: Wh-What catch on fire first?
ADAM CAROLLA: Uh, I guess the books--
JO KOY: Books, mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: It's true ...
JO KOY: Books!
ADAM CAROLLA: They do burn, because they're made of paper.
JO KOY: This is not a safe environment! To study!
[Adam laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Well, I don't think a lotta--
JO KOY: Replace the books with mutha fuckin' ... uh, iPads, mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: Well, we tried that at LA Unified. It didn't work out that well ...
JO KOY: Mutha fucka, this a fire hazard, mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: Hey, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes, sir!
ADAM CAROLLA: Here's the problem ... Jo Koy here is--
JO KOY: You're not black, mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: He's Asian, and he's blacker than you are.
BALD BRYAN: That's true.
ADAM CAROLLA: We've got a serious problem with--
JO KOY: I don't read!
KEVIN: [over the phone] Hey, y'know--
ADAM CAROLLA: We got a serious problem with you makin' a run.
[Kevin laughs]
KEVIN: [over the phone] If he could see where I work, and the people that I work with, he wouldn't--
JO KOY: Hey, Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm, alright ...
JO KOY: Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes?
JO KOY: Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes?
JO KOY: Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes, Brown Sugar?
JO KOY: Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes?
[Adam laughs]
JO KOY: [pause] Adam!
[everyone laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes?
JO KOY: Whatchoo working at a library for?
ADAM CAROLLA: I'm not working at a library.
JO KOY: Mutha fucka!
ADAM CAROLLA: No, it's not me.
JO KOY: Which one am I talkin' to?
ADAM CAROLLA: You're talkin' to Kevin.
JO KOY: [pause] I thought mutha fucka's name was Adam!
ADAM CAROLLA: No, I'm Adam. That's Kevin ... Kevin?
JO KOY: Kevin!
[Alison laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Are a lotta people sleeping in your library?
JO KOY: Kevin!
ADAM CAROLLA: Maybe we can salvage this.
JO KOY: Kevin!
KEVIN: [over the phone] Oh, constantly! People sleepin' in the library, fillin' out food stamp applications ...
BALD BRYAN: Oooh.
KEVIN: [over the phone] Fillin' out unemployment ...
ADAM CAROLLA: Mmm.
JO KOY: Ah good, now that sounds familiar!
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm. Hey Kevin--
KEVIN: [over the phone] People askin' me how to, people askin' me things like how to copy and paste. It's--
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm.
KEVIN: [over the phone] This is, I work at the African American Research Library!
ADAM CAROLLA: Mmm!
BALD BRYAN: Ohhhh! Okay!
JO KOY: That's my mutha fucka right there! Alright now!
KEVIN: [over the phone] You feel me?
JO KOY: That's a library, mutha fucka, right there!
KEVIN: [over the phone] Thank you, I work at the African American--
JO KOY: What kinda, what kinda books you got? What kinda books you got? Ebony Magazine?
[Adam laughs]
KEVIN: [over the phone] Hey, here's the thing. I have no idea ... That's how black I am! I have no idea!
BALD BRYAN: Wow. Wow.
JO KOY: That's the kinda books you need to have there! African American! Jet Magazine!
BALD BRYAN: What are your other qualifications for being our black correspondent?
JO KOY: Vibe!
KEVIN: [over the phone] Uh, I know what all--
JO KOY: Hoops! Slam!
KEVIN: [over the phone] I know what every single one of them means.
ADAM CAROLLA: You know what everything ... every single what means?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Every single one of these words that Chick-fil-A banned.
BALD BRYAN: Oh!
ALISON ROSEN: Ohhhh ...
ADAM CAROLLA: You know all those words?
ALISON ROSEN: Wait, I have a question for you, then. Can you do the weird "Barely" voice?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Oh yeah, sure!
ALISON ROSEN: What is it?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Uh, it's from a viral video. There was this girl named Donna Goudeau, she got arrested three years ago, and the video came out recently and it went viral. Uh, she was tryin' to be hard, like she started crackin' up and was cryin' and she has a country drawl. She's from Texas, um, and she would say ... they asked her was she legally blind, and she said "Barely!"
ALISON ROSEN: Oh.
ADAM CAROLLA: Oh, right! Yeah!
BALD BRYAN: Y'know what, though? Big strike against Kevin, he said "They asked" and not "axed", so--
ADAM CAROLLA: No, he said "axed!"
ALISON ROSEN: He said "axed"--
BALD BRYAN: Oh, he did!
KEVIN: [over the phone] I said "axed!"
BALD BRYAN: Oh, I'm--
KEVIN: [over the phone] Hey, that was a clear "X!"
BALD BRYAN: Sorry, Kevin.
KEVIN: [over the phone] That was clearly an "X" ...
BALD BRYAN: Didn't mean to--
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, he definitely ... definitely did the "axe."
KEVIN: [over the phone] That's was clearly an "X!"
BALD BRYAN: Okay, okay.
ADAM CAROLLA: So he's got that going for him ... So Kevin, what do you propose that you do as our black correspondent from Florida?
[Bryan plays a clip of Doctor Drew saying "What I do now?"]
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, what you do now?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Oh ... What I, what I do now is--
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm.
KEVIN: [over the phone] Anytime Alison has something black ... black-ish comin' up in her news--
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm.
BALD BRYAN: Like a fantasy?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Gimmee a call.
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm.
[Alison laughs]
KEVIN: [over the phone] I show up, ten-twenty minutes late--
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm, right.
KEVIN: [over the phone] I show up a few minutes late, and I just came and answer any questions that you have on black culture.
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm ... Alright!
KEVIN: [over the phone] I've been listening to the podcast--
JO KOY: So, are you gonna answer them with a black voice, mutha fucka?
ADAM CAROLLA: Mm hmm.
JO KOY: You sound whiter than Alison!
ADAM CAROLLA: So we can--
KEVIN: [over the phone] Come on, my nigga.
JO KOY: Ah, there's my mutha fucka!
BALD BRYAN: Don't know if we can air that ...
ADAM CAROLLA: We can ... So Kevin, we can count on you when we go to these topics?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Instantly! Anytime, anytime you ... Well, not always, but y'know, most of the time. Most of the time.
ALISON ROSEN: Kevin, I have a question for you then, since you're here.
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes?
ALISON ROSEN: "Bae" ...
KEVIN: [over the phone] Uh huh.
ALISON ROSEN: Does it, we read that it stood for "Before Anyone Else," but then I heard that that's not true and it's just short for "babe." What is it?
KEVIN: [over the phone] It is, yeah. It's just short for "babe," somebody just decided to make it an acronym. I don't know what "acronym" means, by the way.
[everyone laughs]
BALD BRYAN: Wow! Wait--
ADAM CAROLLA: Ohhhh ...
BALD BRYAN: Good answer! Good, if you had a cousin named "Acronym," that would be even better!
[Adam laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Alright, Kevin?
KEVIN: [over the phone] Yes, sir!
ADAM CAROLLA: I'm sure there's people you need to wake up and tell to go to the bathroom, so I'm gonna let you get back to your job.
BALD BRYAN: Mm hmm.
[Kevin laughs]
KEVIN: [over the phone] Thank you.
ADAM CAROLLA: Alright, but we'll keep Kevin in mind ... Let's keep Kevin's number.
BALD BRYAN: Yeah.

---

From adamcarolla.com:

Jo Koy and Michael DiTolla
Posted on: 11-17-2014 by: Chris Laxamana

Adam opens the show making fun of Dr. Drew, and he introduces a new segment, 'Tweet and a Miss'. Jo Koy is also in studio, and Adam asks his character Bung Lu Su to sign along to some classic kid show theme songs. Adam then jumps to the phones and talks with a caller who wants to be the podcast's black correspondent. He also chats with fans about businesses that exist to help other businesses, whether you should put money aside for college, and Steve-O's drunken appearance on 'Too Late with Adam Carolla'.

---

From twitter.com:

Fiyah (@FiyahMuZik)
Dear @adamcarolla, PLEASE allow me the honor of being the first official Black Correspondent for the @AdamCarollaShow.
1:38 PM - 14 Nov 2014

Case Study No. 1871: Unnamed Male Librarian (Crime Club)

1 Crime Club Radio Show Death Blew Out the Match (Opening/Closing)
2:16
No description available.
Tags: Crime Club Raido Show Death Blew Out the Match Crime Club old time radio radio shows
Added: 1 year ago
From: CinemaB
Views: 12

["Episode 1, Death Blew Out The Match, 2nd December 1946" appears on screen, then the sound of a door opening can be heard]
LIBRARIAN: Ah, you're here ... Good! Uh, take the easy chair by the window?
[he chuckles]
LIBRARIAN: Comfortable? Good ... The book is, uh, on this shelf.
[dramatic organ music plays]
LIBRARIAN: Yes, here it is. "Death Blew Out the Match," a very absorbing story of death and mystery on a small island. Let's look at it under the reading lamp ... "It was an evening early in May, and the waters around the cape just off the coast of Massachusetts where buried under a fog as thick and as massive as any you'd want to see. Moving cautiously, a small boat makes its way slowly toward one of the islands off the cape. In the boat there are Elijah McCumber and Anne Walgreen."
["Conclusion" appears on screen]
LIBRARIAN: And so closes tonight's Crime Club book, "Death Blew Out the Match," based on the story by Kathleen Moore Knight.
[the phone rings]
LIBRARIAN: Stedman Coles did the radio adaptation, Roger Bower produced and directed ... Oh. Oh, I beg your pardon.
[the sound of the receiver being picked up can be heard]
LIBRARIAN: Hello, I hope I haven't kept you waiting ... Yes, this is the Crime Club. Why, I'm the librarian. Yes, yes. Ah, come over a week from tonight. Good, we have a very unusual story about a murderer who was revealed by postage stamps. It's called "For the Hangman."
[dramatic organ music plays]
LIBRARIAN: In the meantime?
[he chuckles]
LIBRARIAN: Well, in the meantime, there's a new Crime Club book available this week and every week at bookstores everywhere ... Mm hmm, it's available now. Quite alright, and we'll look for you next week.

---

From archive.org:

BROADCAST: December 1946 - October 1947.

HOST: Barry Thomson as the host/librarian and Raymond Edward Johnson.

PRODUCER/DIRECTOR: Roger Bower.

30-minute murder mystery stories adapted for radio by Stedman Coles or Wyllis Cooper from based on and featuring some of the stories from the Doubleday Crime Club books.

Crime Club was broadcast by Mutual and produced and directed by Roger Bower. The post war stories were by various different authors and adapted for radio by among others Stedman Coles and Wyllis Cooper (writer of Lights Out and Quiet Please). The narrator played by Barry Thomson is the supposed curator of the Crime Club library. He speaks to the listener as if they have just arrived or phoned and requested one of the Club's books.

The telephone rings, "Hello I hope I haven't kept you waiting. This is the librarian, Silent Witnesses; yes we have that Crime Club book for you, come right over." The organ plays suspenseful music, the door opens and the librarian says, "Ah you're here, good take the easy chair by the window. Comfortable? The book is on this shelf..."

He would take the book from the shelf and begin to tell the tale. The story would end with the Librarian informing you that there was a new Crime Club book available this week and every week in bookstores everywhere.

---

From google.com:

CRIME CLUB, murder-mystery anthology, based on and featuring some of the stories in the Doubleday Crime Club novel imprint.

Broadcast history: Dec. 2, 1946 - Oct. 16, 1947, Mutual. 30m, Mondays at 8 through Dec., then Thursdays at 10; also heard Wednesdays and Sundays.

Cast: Barry Thomson as the "librarian" of the Crime Club, host of the series.

Producer-Director: Roger Bower.

Sample opening: "Yes, this is the Crime Club ... I'm the librarian. Silent Witness? Yes, we have that Crime Club story for you. Come right over." Then the "reader" (listener) would arrive, and the "librarian" would put him in "the easy chair by the window." The book was opened, and the story began.

An earlier series, the Eno Crime Club, was also composed in part from Crime Club novels.

---

From rusc.com:

Crime Club was broadcast by Mutual and produced and directed by Roger Bower. The post war stories were by various different authors and adapted for radio by among others Stedman Coles and Wyllis Cooper (writer of Lights Out and Quiet Please). The narrator played by Barry Thomson is the supposed curator of the Crime Club library. He speaks to the listener as if they have just arrived or phoned and requested one of the Club's books.

The telephone rings, "Hello I hope I haven't kept you waiting. This is the librarian, Silent Witnesses; yes we have that Crime Club book for you, come right over." The organ plays suspenseful music, the door opens and the librarian says, "Ah you're here, good take the easy chair by the window. Comfortable? The book is on this shelf..."

He would take the book from the shelf and begin to tell the tale. The story would end with the Librarian informing you that there was a new Crime Club book available this week and every week in bookstores everywhere.

---

From otrcat.com:

This Mutual series featured murder and mystery books that were actual Doubleday Crime Club imprints. There was a new Crime Club book "every week, at bookstores everywhere." Or so they said. It was certainly a natural to do an old time radio show to tantalize potential purchasers with half hour radio adaptations of the books.

The telephone rings"Hello, I hope I haven't kept you waiting. Yes, this is the Crime Club. I'm the Librarian. Murder Rents A Room? Yes, we have that Crime Club story for you.Come right over. (The organist in the shadowed corner of the Crime Club library shivers the ivories) The doorbell tones sullenly"And you are here. Good. Take the easy chair by the window. Comfortable? The book is on this shelf." (The organist hits the scary chord) "Let's look at it under the reading lamp." The Librarian begins reading our tale, and we begin another Crime Club offering let's hope it's not a burnt offering.

Raymond E. Johnson played the mild-mannered, albeit ominous, Librarian. Roger Bower produced and directed. Veteran Willis Cooper (Lights Out, Quiet Please) did some of the scripts from the Crime Club books.

---

From blogspot.com:

In 1931, The Crime Club came to radio for the first time, when some of the titles from Doubleday's The Crime Club library were dramatized on The Eno Crime Club, sponsored by Eno Effervescent Salts. The CBS Radio detective series ran from February 9, 1931 until December 21, 1932. It should be noted that Eno later sponsored Blue Network's Eno Crime Clues, but that did not have anything to do with The Crime Club -- that series ran from January 3, 1933 to June 30, 1936.

Then, in 1946, The Crime Club returned to radio as half-hour adaptations from the series in the Mutual Broadcasting System's program, Crime Club. The premiere of the show was Death Blew Out the Match, which aired on Monday, December 2, 1946, filling the time-slot previously occupied by Bulldog Drummond. This new show was a completely new start for The Crime Club on radio, and not associated in any way with the prevoius Eno Crime Club or Eno Crime Clues. The 1940s series were all broadcast on the Mutual Broadcasting System (MBS), and introduced by a mysterious host known as The Librarian.

The role of The Librarian was actually portrayed by either Barry Thomson or Raymond Edward Johnson (who is famous for his role in the Inner Sanctum Mysteries). This new radio series ran from December 2, 1946 to October 16, 1947, and is available via many old-time radio channels. About half of the episodes were authored by Stedman Coles, as only half were adaptations of Doubleday's Crime Club selections.

Case Study No. 1712: David Thompson

Tattooed Librarian
3:56
If you listen to the Mark Cummings breakfast show on BBC radio Gloucestershire then you might have heard of the 'Phone without a home' segment. At about 8:45 every morning, Mark calls a mobile phone that is passed from friend to friend around the county - giving him the opportunity to talk to someone new every day, and to catch a glimpse of life around Gloucestershire.

On Friday 12th of September 2014, it was my turn to answer...
Tags: Tattoo (Visual Art Form) BBC Radio Gloucestershire Mark Cummings Radio interview Tattooed Librarian
Added: 2 months ago
From: snakesentwined
Views: 82

MARK CUMMINGS: Uh, we'll talk Onion Fayre, it's a biggie. Gets bigger and better every single year, in a moment. First of all, it's the "Phone with No Home" ... We were with an author yesterday. We had a schoolteacher from Dean Close, then it went over to Culford, then it's come back to Gloucester. Yesterday it was Joe Brown, an author from Cheltenham, so I don't know who Joe has sent it to but I will ring the Phone with No Home and with any luck ... someone fascinating will answer. Let's see what they're up to this weekend, see where they are. I wonder if we're still in--
[the sound of a phone ringing can be heard]
MARK CUMMINGS: I wonder if we're still in Cheltenham, as well. So here we go.
[the phone rings again]
DAVID THOMPSON: Hello?
MARK CUMMINGS: Oh, hello! You've just answered the Phone with No Home! My name's Mark, you're live on the radio, what's your name?
DAVID THOMPSON: Hello, Mark! Hi, uh, my name is David ... Uh, David Thompson.
MARK CUMMINGS: Not David Thompson. N-Not--
DAVID THOMPSON: David Thompson, indeed.
MARK CUMMINGS: Not "the" David Thompson?
DAVID THOMPSON: No! I know there are an awful lot of David Thompsons, and there are entire websites based on David Thompson, but no. This is "a" David Thompson.
[he laughs]
MARK CUMMINGS: But a ... "a" could be the real David Thompson.
DAVID THOMPSON: It could. Well actually, I am "the" real David Thompson, just "this" David Thompson. Not necessarily the famous one.
MARK CUMMINGS: Now, are you in Cheltenham this morning?
DAVID THOMPSON: Um, actually, I'm just outside. I'm at home in Crestbury.
MARK CUMMINGS: Okay, so we've just leaked it out of Cheltenham.
DAVID THOMPSON: Mm hmm.
MARK CUMMINGS: So we're going slightly north at the moment, ever so slightly north.
DAVID THOMPSON: Yes, ever so slightly.
MARK CUMMINGS: David Thompson--
DAVID THOMPSON: Just underneath the hills.
MARK CUMMINGS: I'm just trying to work out your age, actually. I'm trying to work out how old is David Thompson? How old is he? Well, let's ... Andy's with us, who's gonna talk about the Onion Fayre. How old do you think this fella is, Andy? Just listen, what you--
ANDY OFFORD: Ooh, I was just puttin my phones on, so uh--
MARK CUMMINGS: Mm.
ANDY OFFORD: Hmmm ... I haven't a clue.
MARK CUMMINGS: David, David Thompson ... Just David Thompson, just tell me what you do for a living and then we're gonna work out how old you are.
DAVID THOMPSON: I'm a subject librarian. I look after media, arts, and photography at the University of Gloucestershire.
MARK CUMMINGS: What'cha reckon? I think forty-something, early forties.
ANDY OFFORD: Ooh. Well, he's--
MARK CUMMINGS: Don't be flattering.
[they laugh]
ANDY OFFORD: If we said ... Well, if I said thirty-something, he's gonna be very flattered.
MARK CUMMINGS: Yeah, he's gonna be incredibly--
DAVID THOMPSON: Ooh, yes.
ANDY OFFORD: So, I would say ... I-I would say, what? Mm, mid to late fifties?
MARK CUMMINGS: Everyone have a go at home, just shout it out!
DAVID THOMPSON: Ooh! Mid to late fifties? Oh, thank you!
[they laugh]
MARK CUMMINGS: His voice goes up there, doesn't it?
ANDY OFFORD: It does!
[he laughs]
MARK CUMMINGS: Forty ... Forty seven. How old are ya?
DAVID THOMPSON: Oh good lord, that's very close, yes! Uh, forty seven!
MARK CUMMINGS: Oh, brilliant! Okay ... Your job again is what?
DAVID THOMPSON: I'm a subject librarian. Academic subject librarian. I look after all of the media, the arts and actions courses.
MARK CUMMINGS: Take this as a compliment ... You sound like it as well.
DAVID THOMPSON: Oh great, thank you.
MARK CUMMINGS: No no, your voice--
DAVID THOMPSON: Well actually, what you probably can't hear from ... the phone is the fact that I'm also the most tattooed librarian in Gloucestershire, very possibly in England, and vying for the title of most tattooed librarian in the world.
MARK CUMMINGS: Most what-ted?
DAVID THOMPSON: I hope I don't sound too much like a librarian ...
MARK CUMMINGS: So, most what-ted librarian?
DAVID THOMPSON: Tattooed.
MARK CUMMINGS: Oh, tattooed! Oh gosh!
DAVID THOMPSON: Yes, yes.
MARK CUMMINGS: I wasn't expecting--
DAVID THOMPSON: Although I suppose that kind of fits, being an arts librarian, I have turned myself into a work of art. So, it's kind of--
MARK CUMMINGS: How many tattoos have you got?
DAVID THOMPSON: Oh, just the one. It's just that it actually stretches ... well, at the moment, it stretches from my neck and covers my entire torso and my arms, and actually the work is going to continue all the way down to my feet, as well. So, it will be head to toe, when we're finished.
MARK CUMMINGS: Y'know, when this conversation started--
DAVID THOMPSON: Yeah, so far, so ...
MARK CUMMINGS: Can you send us a photo?
DAVID THOMPSON: Of course I can, yes.
MARK CUMMINGS: Thank you.
DAVID THOMPSON: Um, actually, I've got some lovely photos taken by my various photography students. I tend to be very popular--
MARK CUMMINGS: Okay.
DAVID THOMPSON: Uh, whenever they're having to do portraiture and assignments on portraiture, and they all end up coming and asking me if I would pose for them, because it's interesting to try and take photos. So I've got some very nice ones I can send you.
MARK CUMMINGS: Brilliant.
DAVID THOMPSON: I think, if you'd like.
MARK CUMMINGS: Will you do that? Cummings at--
DAVID THOMPSON: I will indeed.
MARK CUMMINGS: Hang on the line, we need your phone number, because you--
DAVID THOMPSON: Okay.
MARK CUMMINGS: This conversation didn't go where I'd think it was gonna go. It went into a delightful area!
DAVID THOMPSON: Oh!
[he laughs]
MARK CUMMINGS: David Thompson, thank you so much! Have a great weekend, pass the phone onto someone without a tattoo for Monday, that would be fantastic.
DAVID THOMPSON: I will indeed!
MARK CUMMINGS: Thank you! Bye bye, take care.
DAVID THOMPSON: Good times, okay!

---

From glos.ac.uk:

David Thompson is Subject Librarian to the school, with responsibility for Fine art, Photography and Illustration; he also supports the Communications and Production courses at Park. David studied Philosophy and Theology at Heythrop College (University of London), but started working in libraries whilst still at school. He joined the University in 1992, completed an MA in Library and Information Science in 1995 and gained Professional Chartership in 1999. He has been Subject Librarian for Fine Art since 2000. David loosely describes himself as: "a vegetarian, tattooed pagan, author, geek and sometime artist". He lives in Prestbury with His partner Geoff, a talkative Amazon parrot, two siamese cats, and a pair of snakes...

Case Study No. 1227: Erik Boekesteijn and Jaap van de Geer

Trailer-TWIL.mov
0:26
Intro animatie voor een Internet TV programma "This Week In Libraries".
In opdracht Robin Slierendregt van 3Komma14.
Tags: This week in libraries
Added: 1 year ago
From: Jorgen Langedijk
Views: 24

This Week In Libraries
First Global Library Internet Show

Presented by
Erik Boekesteijn
Jaap van de Geer

Check In
Deeply Local

Check Out
Global Touch

TWIL
This Week In Libraries

---

From wikipedia.org:

This Week in Libraries, casually referred to as TWIL, is an English language video podcast series created and produced by Jaap van de Geer and Erik Boekesteijn in the Netherlands. Featuring Erik Boekesteijn as host, and Jaap van de Geer as co-host and cameraman the library themed talk show is filmed in the studio of the Openbare Bibliotheek Amsterdam (OBA) and also on location. Episodes feature interviews with guests working in libraries, cultural institutions and associated industries and highlight innovative service trends including event programming, digitization, library building design, collection development, ebooks, technology applications, online services and library marketing.

The first episode aired on March 13, 2010 followed by series two (2011) and series three (2012) with season four re-launching on March 19, 2013 in a fortnightly format. During the first season, in episode 5, Dutch journalist Wendy de Graaf from Bibliotheekblad turned the tables on the show's creators and interviewed them about the motivation for a global program about libraries and their plans for future episodes. Although not syndicated, the program is endorsed and promoted widely by library bloggers, and some library associations around the world.

The show has featured many high profile guests and organizations including David Weinberger (episode #83), Father Roderick Vonhögen (episode #3), Stuart Hamilton from International Federation of Library Associations and Institutions (episode #15), Aubéry Escande from The European Library (episode #79), Justo Hidalgo (episode #77), Johan Oomen from the Netherlands Institute for Sound and Vision (episode #71), Peter Gorgels (episode #94) from the Rijksmuseum and Dan Cohen (episode #98) Executive Director of the Digital Public Library of America(DPLA).

Distribution
Episodes can be viewed via the This Week in Libraries website. Commencing with episode 77 some episodes are also available as an audio download from Apple's iTunes Store. In June 2013 Library Journal announced a partnership with Erik Boekesteijn and Jaap van de Geer to publish monthly highlights from This Week in Libraries episodes.

Funding
Each series of This Week in Libraries has featured sponsors. In the hiatus between series two and three, TWIL fans campaigned to raise awareness and crowdfunding for series three via a HelpTWIL campaign.

---

From libraryjournal.com:

Erik Boekesteijn and Jaap van de Geer are library innovators with a worldwide following. In 2007, they began a video project called Shanachie Tour, where they travel the globe to learn about and share library best practices. In 2008, they published a ShanachieTour book (tiny url.com/shanachie). In 2009, they were the first Europeans to be named Movers and Shakers by Library Journal. In 2010, they co-founded Shanachie Media and were the first to start an online video talk show, called This Week in Libraries (www.This Week In Libraries.com). In 2012, they co-founded Doklab, a private innovation consultancy that focuses on storytelling to connect people to collections (www.dok lab.nl/en).

Previously, Erik and Jaap worked for DOK, the library concept center in Delft, the Netherlands (www.do k.info). DOK's unique community space and open-minded attitude toward innovation has won many awards, making it a well-known example of a 21st-century library. Erik, a communications specialist, first worked in the marketing and communication department, then in the innovation department. Jaap, a librarian by degree, built an ILS from scratch (called Clientrix), then was head of the science and innovation department. You can email them at thisweekinlibraries [at] gmail.com.

Case Study No. 1183: Staff of the Night Vale Public Library

Night Vale - The Public Library 9/15/2012
1:39
From episode 7, "History Week". For more information on "Welcome to Night Vale", an excellent (and free) horror/comedy podcast, visit commonplacebooks.com or @NightValeRadio on Twitter.
Tags: Welcome to Night Vale History Week Commonplace Books Joseph Fink Jeffrey Cranor Cecil Baldwin Earwicker Disparition Night Vale Community Radio Night Vale Something Awful public library municipal library haunted library Helen Hunt bear baiting Library (Building Function)
Added: 6 months ago
From: THOUSANDSofAPOLOGIES
Views: 6,215

From wikipedia.org:

"Welcome to Night Vale" is a podcast presented as a radio show for the fictional town of Night Vale. It was created by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor, is voiced by Cecil Baldwin, and is published by Commonplace Books. The podcast airs twice a month, and consists of "news, announcements and advertisements" from the desert town, located "somewhere in the Southwestern United States". In an interview with NPR, Joseph Fink commented on the creation of the series, stating that he "came up with this idea of a town in that desert where all conspiracy theories were real, and we would just go from there with that understood."

Every episode of the podcast includes a piece of music as its "weather report,", each by a different independently-published artist. The theme and background instrumental music to the series was created by the band Disparition. In July 2013, Welcome to Night Vale became the most downloaded podcast on iTunes.

---

From wikia.com:

The Night Vale Public Library is a notable landmark in Night Vale, although there is widespread dissatisfaction with the library among the town's citizens. Its available public computers are outdated and slow, they provide a lending period of only fourteen days, and the Biography section contains nothing but 33 copies of the official biography of Helen Hunt. There have been reports of a faceless spectre who roams through the Biography section, bringing visitors to an untimely end. Cecil expresses his desire for the City Council to make some serious changes to the library, "or I may find myself hoping that the faceless spectre puts the library to the same mysterious, violent end as its many victims."

Unidentifiable black metallic trees suddenly appeared by the library back in June, causing all airborne objects above 30 feet to catch fire. They were cleared away to make room for a new strip mall and parking lot.

Paul Birmingham, a vagrant, lives in a lean-to behind the library.

As of episode 29, the public library "was burned down last night", and it was "only a matter of days before we'll need to burn it down again".

Management
The library is run by a group of malevolent librarians which the Night Vale citizens are encouraged to be cautious of. In 1993, "an unchecked librarian population resulted in the loss of many innocent and screaming book lovers." To this day they are not trusted, and it can be assumed that they are the main cause of the establishment's fatality rate resting "well above the national average for libraries." As of The Phone Call, librarian repellent dispensers have been placed throughout the building for the safety of the visitors. Visitors are warned that should they be approached by a librarian, they should remain still and try to make themselves bigger than the librarian.

In First Date, Cecil also advises, "Remember: if confronted by a librarian while looking for a book to check out, do not attempt to escape by climbing a tree. There are no trees in the library, and the precious moments it will take you to look around and realize this will allow the librarian to strike."

The public library also boasts a Board of Directors. This group was involved in the opening of the new branch, stating that the private library will "serve the community by showing how rich Marcus is, and what a great guy that obviously makes him."

Branches
The Night Vale Public Library has chosen to open a second branch, the Night Vale Private Library. Announced in First Date, it will be located next door to the current library, and will be open only to Night Vale's local billionaire Marcus Vansten. The private library's selection will be expansive, with thousands of books on any given subject, and a Biography section featuring biographies of both Helen Hunt and Sean Penn. The library will also include such extravagances as a childrens' area shaped like a pirate ship and floor-to-ceiling windows which will face the public library.

Additionally, this new branch will have no librarians, ensuring Vansten's safety from the numerous librarian maulings which occur in the public library each year.

---

From tumblr.com:

Episode 28 - Summer Reading Program

Does it even matter how many living things you touched today, or where they all are now? Welcome to Night Vale.

The Summer Reading Program for children and teens has begun at the Night Vale Public Library. This comes as an alarming surprise, given that the program was abolished by The City Council thirty years ago.

Though parents and teachers have asked on several occasions to reinstate the program, The City Council has maintained its position, citing lack of taxpayer funds, the extreme danger posed by books, the peril of exposing children to librarians, and of course, the incident that precipitated the ban (which the town's older residents will refer to only as "The Time of Knives").

Nevertheless, in a show of civic dedication (or mindless bloodlust, and they really are so similar) Night Vale's librarians have banded together in defiance of authority to reinstate Summer Reading.

Colorful posters with appealing statements like, "Get into a good book this summer!" and, "We are going to force you into a good book this summer!" and, "You are going to get inside this book and we are going to close it on you and there is nothing you can do about it!" have appeared overnight around the library entrance and in local shops and business, all sporting the clever tagline, "Catch the flesh-eating reading bacterium!"

The Sheriff's Secret Police have responded by interrogating the proprietors of businesses where the posters have appeared, and by removing and confiscating the posters themselves...although, to be honest, listeners, the graphic design work is really cute. I mean, have you seen them? The little flesh-eating germ, with his sun hat and library book, using a screaming, semi-skeletal human victim as a beach chair?

Ugh, adorable.

* * * * *

After fierce debate today, The City Council has officially declared murder illegal; a crime that has, until this point, been handled using informal vigilante squads. The head of one such squad - Vincent LeFarge, of "Grab ‘Em and Sack ‘Em" - argued that Night Vale has gotten along just fine for years without the government meddling in murder investigation or punishment.

"Do we sometimes catch the wrong guy?" said Vincent. "Sure. Most of the time. We're not sure we've ever caught a guilty one. Usually, we just grab the first person we see. One time, we tried to arrest the dead body, but it got away."

Proponents of the bill argued that most things in Night Vale are already illegal anyway, so citizens would hardly even notice the change. The law goes into effect in two weeks, and citizens are advised to get any necessary murders done before then - although, there will be a three-day grace period after the deadline, for those who are forgetful, or whose victims are hard to catch.

* * * * *

Some summer tips to beat the heat.

First off, have you tried to reason with the heat? Humans, temperatures, angels, and chairs are all equally real and sentient - which is to say that we're all not real, nor are any of us actually sentient. But give reason a shot. It has never, not once in history worked, but it might just work this time.

If the heat won't listen to reason, try denying that it's hot. "Doesn't seem hot today," you might say to your profusely sweating neighbor. "A little chilly, even!" you could continue, slipping on a sweater and making an exaggerated brr! noise as the glaring sun plants the idea of cancer in your skin.

And, if denial does not work, then your best bet (as with all problems in life) is exhausted resignation.

This has been "Summer Tips to Beat the Heat".

* * * * *

And now, a public service announcement.

Here is a brief list of everything that is helpful:

* The Sheriff's Secret Police
* clouds
* anger
* The City Council
* affection falling just short of love
* ceiling fans
* lungs
* other sundry organs
* laws
* government
* helicopters
* the 2005 Honda Accord
* secrets
* whispers
* ultimately, nothing

Anything not specifically named in this list should be considered not helpful and potentially dangerous. It's not just good sense - it's the law.

* * * * *

An update on the summer reading situation.

Fourteen young people between the ages of five and seventeen have already been reported missing, and are feared to be in the public library, and possibly learning.

Attempts by The Sheriff's Secret Police to enter the library, rescue the missing children, and put an end to all summer reading activities have failed, as all doors and windows have mysteriously disappeared from the library exterior - just like it was before the renovations. Our tax dollars paid for those doors and windows, and we shouldn't be expected to stand for library administrators just deciding to disappear them on a whim, even for a valid reason (like jealously guarding their possession of our stolen children) without at least putting the issue to a popular vote.

Anyway, in light of this development, The City Council has declared a level orange Fear Alert. They advise that all Night Vale citizens avoid the public library, and provide The Council with any information they may have on the whereabouts of the missing children, on librarians' secret weaknesses, or on good books they've read lately.

Any citizens who admit to having read good books, The Council added in an impromptu press conference televised from a book-proof bunker, will be immediately scheduled for re-education and subsequent de-education.

The Sheriff's Secret Police, meanwhile, have instituted a curfew for the entire town, effective immediately. After 7PM, all minors should be at home and under adult supervision, and absolutely no reading, researching, online information seeking, educational games, documentary television, or having a lifelong love of learning will be permitted.

As their catchy new slogan puts it, "Once it gets dark, forget everything you ever knew and be silent. Words belong to our enemies, and our enemies are words. So be as mute and pure as a bone bleached clean by our desert sun...by our desert sun."

The Police have also stated that any Night Vale citizen encountering a librarian, an entity suspected of being a librarian, or any excessively organized and helpful individual with a working comprehension of information systems is encouraged to shoot on sight. They also added that this goes for teachers as well, since, "what the hell, as long as we're at it."

We'll have further updates on this story as it develops.

* * * * *

And now, a word from our sponsors.

Congratulations! You are eligible for a free thirty day trial!

This free thirty day trial comes with everything you need, including a free arrest, free charges, free arraignment, and free conviction - guaranteed! Shipping and handling not included. Defense lawyer also not included. We have you surrounded. The more you struggle, the worse it will be for you. Put that down. Put it down. Put that down!

This message brought to you whether you like it or not.

* * * * *

The Freemasons have announced some changes to their hierarchy. These changes are the following.

Whereas before the Freemasons were under the authority of Stonemasons Worldwide, they will now be an independent subsidiary of the Hallowed Mason Council, which itself will be split into four branches, corresponding with the four directions we glance when nervous.

The Hallowed Mason Council will also provide guidance and financial support to the Retail Masons, the Wholesale Masons, and the Discount Masons, except in cases involving inter-Masonry disputes, which will, as before, be subject to the Small Brotherhood of the Large Chamber, the Large Brotherhood of the Small Chamber, or the Properly Fitted Brotherhood, depending on the patterns discerned in bones cast by a fully-licensed member of the Masonic Drone Legion or one of their proxies.

Now, of course, The Masons will continue their proud fraternal associations with The Illuminati; however, The Illuminati will itself be splitting into ten distinct factions, as follows:

* Red
* Green
* Eagle
* Faction Four
* The Real Illuminati
* The Other Real Illuminati
* Red Again
* Alpha
* Windhind, and
* Hungry Man Brand Frozen Foods Officially Sponsored Illuminati

This split will be overseen by The Council of Three, which will be supported by The Council of Five, and monitored by The Council of Zero. Elections for The Council of Zero will be held never, and will result in nothing. Discretionary funds for the Illuminati and Freemason Alliance Committee will be funneled through a number of secret bank accounts, their numbers known to no one, and their secrets kept forever.

All of this is in accordance with The General Secret Agreement of The General Secret Alliance of The General Secret Community, representing all brotherhoods and organizations obscure and hidden, including The Harpoon League, The Flying Cape, The Six Ancient Truths, and The Dental Underground.

The Freemasons would also like to remind you that none of this may be known to you, and that they are only telling you this to demonstrate your fragile mind, which barely parsed the words as they were spoken and have already forgotten the secrets contained, just moments later. You will never know anything, and you will not even know that.

* * * * *

Breaking news!

Despite the best efforts of The Sheriff's Secret Police and citizenry, we have received confirmation that over a hundred children and adolescents have disappeared from their homes, beds, part-time jobs or summer forced labor camps, and are now presumed to be inside the Night Vale Public Library and subject to the Summer Reading Program.

Unfortunately, it is my sad duty to announce that this includes Intern Paolo, a high school junior who's been helping to organize the radio station archives over the summer months.

To the parents and family of Paolo: our hearts go out to you in this time of fear and uncertainty...as in all other times of fear and uncertainty, which is all of them, really. May you find comfort in the knowledge that, though your son may have been lost in a library, at least he (unlike many of his peers) actually went inside one of those at least once. The situation has -

Wait. Hold on just one moment.

I beg your pardon, listeners, but I've just received alarming news. An alert citizen has called in to report inhuman shrieking, thick, meaty sounds, and a coppery, rotten smell of gore and viscera coming from the now-sealed and impenetrable Night Vale Public Library - which are, of course, all fairly standard elements of the Summer Reading Program, as described in the library director's original proposal.

Painful though it may be, it seems that all we can do now - as so often in our dull, blinkered lives below a microcosm of horror and beauty - is wait. Wait, and hope, and know that our hopes are immaterial and powerless, and our wishes will go unheard by the indifferent multitude of stars, if indeed they (the stars) are even real.

But there are still some comforts that remain to us while we wait; small, shining baubles to distract us from the endless march of time towars events we have no control over, and outcomes we never imagined.

* * * * *

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the weather.

"You & I Belong" by Simone Felice

* * * * *

This just in, listeners! We've received reports that the entrances to the Night Vale Public Library have reappeared, and the missing children have begun to emerge from inside the building.

The children have been described as wild-eyed, feral, some staggering upright and some running on all fours like animals, caked in effluvia and far more emaciated than the time of their absence would seem to account for...but otherwise, well - healthy and unharmed.

At the head of the dazed and shambling pack was their apparent chosen leader, twelve year old Tamika Flynn, her mouth clenched in a blood-crusted snarl, and carrying the severed head of a librarian in one hand, and a gore-streaked sticker chart in the other.

Eyewitnesses who dared to get close enough to read the chart reported that Tamika had even finished "Cry the Beloved Country", which is very impressive for her reading level. Well done, Tamika!

Indeed, congratulations are in order for all the young people of Night Vale who participated in the Summer Reading Program, for proving that neither abduction nor captivity, neither horrors beyond imagining nor unfamiliar vocabulary, can prevent you from embracing the pleasures of belles-letres. Here's to you, boys and girls. And remember: even while we congratulate Tamika for winning your loyalty, with her sophisticated comprehension and extremes of berserker violence, that the real victory won today has been for literacy.

Stay tuned next for our countdown of last words, from, "stop telling me how to drive!" all the way to, "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay."

Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.

---

From wordpress.com:

The results of a recent survey of Night Vale residents came to light this week. The study found widespread dissatisfaction with our town's Public Library, and, when considering the facts, it's easy to see why. The public computers for internet use are outdated and slow. The lending period of 14 days is not nearly long enough to read lengthier books, given the busy schedules of all our lives. The fatality rate is also well above the national average for public libraries.

The library bloodstone circle does not appear to have seen any maintenance or cleaning in some time. There are reports of a faceless specter moving about the biography section, picking off lone browsers one by one. And that biography section, by the way, is far too small and has been oddly curated, containing 33 copies of the official biography of Helen Hunt, and no other books.

From top to bottom, the Public Library is a disgrace to our fair city, and I can only hope our City Council does something about that soon, or I may find myself hoping that the faceless specter puts the library to the same mysterious, violent end as its many victims.

Case Study No. 1091: Monica Chattaway and Michael Betmanis

Tales From The Vinyl Vault: The Library Edition
1:11
Join CKUA Librarian Monica Chattaway and CKUA Library Technician Michael Betmanis as they showcase a wee cross section of some of the LPs they serendipitously came across whilst working in the CKUA LP Library.

Come find out what LPs intrigue the CKUA Library staff on Tales From The Vinyl Vault: The Library Edition, Friday, January 8 at 8pm. www.ckua.com
Tags: CKUA Radio Network music vinyl
Added: 3 years ago
From: CKUARadio
Views: 833

[scene opens with a young man and a young woman sitting in the CKUA Library, each holding a stack of vinyl records]
MONICA: Hi there, my name is Monica Chattaway. I'm the librarian at CKUA Radio.
MICHAEL: Hi, I'm Michael Betmanis, the library technician.
MONICA: And we have just concocted a show for "Tales from the Vinyl Vault" ... um, that is pretty, y'know, pretty various. Pretty diverse, isn't it?
MICHAEL: It's a random show.
MONICA: Really random.
MICHAEL: There's no theme here.
MONICA: No. I mean, how did you go about choosing your LPs
MICHAEL: Album covers.
[he holds up the first record in his pile, showing four men standing in front of a Western theme]
MONICA: Yeah?
MICHAEL: Nice guys ... woman with rifle.
MONICA: Yup.
[he holds up his next album]
MICHAEL: Robert Crumb holding a banjo.
[he holds up his next album]
MICHAEL: Sam the Sham and his tight pants.
MONICA: Oooh!
MICHAEL: That's how I picked mine.
[she laughs]
MONICA: That's how ... We sort of also picked them, because we were finding LPs as we were cleaning up the library. So it was kinda random that way, too.
[she holds up the first record in his pile]
MONICA: But I picked mine based on nostalgia ... Um, "The Electric Company" was my favorite favorite show as a child, so I picked that one.
[she hods up her next album]
MONICA: And y'know, Monty Python. I grew up with that, and who didn't, really?
[she holds up her next album]
MONICA: And ... oh, soundtracks! I picked a lotta soundtracks, like this one. So that's sort of a random sampling of what you're gonna hear when you listen to "Tales from the Vinyl Vault."
MICHAEL: Friday, eight pm, mountain standard time.
MONICA: Be there.
["CKUA Presents Tales from the Vinyl Vault, Friday January 8, 2010, 8:00pm MST" appears on screen]

---

From facebook.com:

Join CKUA Librarian Monica Chattaway and CKUA Library Technician Michael Betmanis as they showcase a wee cross section of some of the LPs they serendipitously came across whilst working in the CKUA LP Library. Is there a musical theme to Tales From the Vinyl Vault: The Library Edition? Perhaps. There's a little bit of soundtrack nostalgia, a little bit of groove, a little bit of odd ... and a whole lot of surprise!

---

From ckua.com:

The CKUA library consists of more than 250,000 CDs and LPs, and over 1 million songs that span more than 8 decades and every genre imaginable!

Case Study No. 1003: Courtney Bates

Is There A Librarian In The House??
1:52
Cortny Bates helps me return a long-overdue book.
Tags: Joseph Bridwell biography
Added: 1 year ago
From: leeb831
Views: 61

[scene opens with the host of the "Happy Hour in Texas" podcast speaking into a microphone, in front of a studio audience]
LEE B. WEAVER: I have a quick question ... Is there a librarian in the house?
[the audience murmurs]
LEE B. WEAVER: Is there a librarian in the--
[he nearly knocks his microphone over]
LEE B. WEAVER: Whoa! In the house?
[someone from the audience yells "Why yes there is!"]
LEE B. WEAVER: Librarian, come up here, please!
[the audience applauds]
LEE B. WEAVER: Y'know, we have ... we have, we have firsts all the time on this show, and that was one right there.
[the audience laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: No one's ever said, "Is there a librarian in the house?"
[a woman (brown hair, glasses, orange dress) walks up on stage and sits down next to him]
LEE B. WEAVER: We have a Dewey Decimal System emergency!
[the audience laughs, as she holds a finger up to her lips and "shushes" him]
LEE B. WEAVER: Oh, that's right! That's right ...
[he laughs, then looks out into the audience]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, could you shush those people?
[she turns towards the audience and repeats the move, as they laugh]
LEE B. WEAVER: Oh, well ...
[someone in the audience yells "Play the game!"]
LEE B. WEAVER: I may be.
[he turns to the librarian]
LEE B. WEAVER: You wanna play the question--
[she shakes her head]
COURTNEY BATES: No thank you.
[he laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, here's the deal. I wrote a book, um, last year. The year before ... both of those years, and along the way I borrowed a book from the MSU library.
[the audience laughs]
LEE B. WEAVER: And, um, it was sort of ... co-stolen by an employee and myself. Like, she smuggled it out past the little--
[he starts gesturing with his hands, as the librarian looks at him accusingly]
LEE B. WEAVER: She didn't know if it would trip the alarms, but she didn't wanna find out.
[he holds up a book]
LEE B. WEAVER: So, it's the ... it's the, uh, it's a doctoral thesis on Joseph Bridwell, written by one of the premiere early historians of Wichita Falls when she was still a graduate at MSU.
[the librarian shakes her head]
LEE B. WEAVER: Uh, published in Nineteen Sixty Seven ... I've had it for a year and a half, and I can't go back there. So--
[he hands the book to the librarian]
LEE B. WEAVER: And, of course, my fingerprints aren't on it. No one knows I have that book. Uh, but if you want to sneak that back in someday--
COURTNEY BATES: I'm gonna tell on you!
LEE B. WEAVER: I don't care, but ...
[he laughs, as the librarian starts leafing through the book]
COURTNEY BATES: Okay.
LEE B. WEAVER: Can you do that for me? Thank you so much, Courtney!
[he points at her]
LEE B. WEAVER: Courtney Bates, MSU librarian!
[she gets up and walks off camera as the audience applauds, then "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction begins to play]
LEE B. WEAVER: Been caught stealin' ...

---

From facebook.com:

Happy Hour In Texas with Lee B Weaver

My (sort of) weekly talk/variety show!

Case Study No. 0972: Heather Tomar

The Challenges of Young Librarians Finding Employment a commentary by Heather Tomar
4:06
The audio from this video is from http://archive.org/

The video was encoded and uploaded by http://talkingwithjon.com/
Tags:
Added: 2 months ago
From: Valerie Desjardins
Views: 5

HEATHER TOMAR: I would like to thank the Library Radio Network for allowing me to speak on their show. My name is Heather Tomar, and I have a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and an MLIS from Drexel. I spent three years working as a records specialist for Deloitte and Touche, a job that was comparable to being a reference librarian. For the next eight months, I was the librarian for a popular trade school in Philadelphia.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Unfortunately, trade schools are taking a financial hit, and I and several of my colleagues were downsized. This was back in December, and I had been looking for a job since, but it has been very difficult.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: I see three issues in the library job market ... It's hard to break into the field, there is a decrease in available positions, and the applicant pool is too large for the jobs available.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Like so many other industries, the library world sets applicants up for a bit of a Catch-22. Employers are all looking for three to five years of experience, but it's very hard to get hired to accumulate the appropriate experience. I think they need to be more open to at least interviewing recent graduates. Every professor I've ever had made it clear to me that you learn more in the first few weeks of a new job than you will learn from years of schooling. Their point was that no matter what experience you have, be it educational or professional, you will still have to learn the ropes at every new job. Employers need to take a look at inexperienced applicants who have the intelligence and business acumen to learn the new job quickly and accurately.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Another problem is that the job market is getting smaller. As technology takes over, it eliminates the need for humans in certain positions, but students are still choosing to major in the field. I have been told by professionals that technology will eventually create positions, as more and more companies move toward electronic filing and archiving. But, based on what I have seen in the want ads, those will likely be contract jobs and temporary positions.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Finally, there are just too many applicants for each job. Thirty five years ago, when my parents finished school, there wasn't as much competition. More people go to college now, and more of those college graduates are continuing on to graduate school. We are graduating with much higher student loan debts, and are not able to make a living and pay those debts on entry level salaries. So, while a handful of financially supported graduates are vying for entry level jobs, dozens more are fighting over the few higher paying ones. Baby Boomers are also working later in life, to support aging parents and boomerang-generation children. So that means competitors in the job market who have much more experience.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: The truth is that all I need is to get my foot in the door with an interview. Most interviewers are impressed by my demeanor, and my ability to think on my feet ... So how come no one is calling? The answer is that digital applications and emailed resumes are not cutting it. It can be difficult for recent graduates to stand out in a pile of resumes. To combat this, I'm trying to bring back the personal touch.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Before the internet, how did people get jobs? They made phone calls, they showed up in person, and they handed off their resumes. They made actual human contact with employers, and became much more than just faceless qualifications.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: I know it's a bit ironic, but I've started a blog to chronicle my attempts. You can check it out at "www dot hirelibrarian dot blogspot dot com." I just felt that I needed to do something creative to really put myself out there.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: I also hope to help others with my blog. One of the most recent blog entries was about a company that never contacted me, because they misread my resume and thought I didn't have the degree they were looking for. I want others to see that making phone calls can help.
[she pauses]
HEATHER TOMAR: Finally, if I could use this forum to tell prospective employers listening right now one thing about myself, it would be that I am determined and I learn quickly. Five years ago, when I heard that I would be working with a blind student, I ran to the library and borrowed every book on Braille. Within two months, I was able to transcribe all of my student's homework, as well as a few childrens' books. Thank you.

---

From podbean.com:

The Challenges of Young Librarians Finding Employment - a commentary by Heather Tomar

Heather Tomar is a young librarian seeking a new position. In this candid commentary, Heather focuses on some of the challenges facing librarians trying to find their first or second career position. Heather offers the library community some important points to consider, and this commentary is certainly worth a listen for both current job seekers as well as for those in management positions seeking new talent.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 11th, 2011 at 11:55 am and is filed under Uncategorized.

---

From blogspot.com:

Sorry, I didn't mean to leave for so long, but not much has been happening. I think, when I last posted, I had just called a large law firm about my application. They did call me back, and were very pleasant, but I never actually heard back about the job. C'est la vie. Following that, I applied to work for a small, start-up web company. They contacted me before I could even call them, and I went for an interview. I had a lot of concerns about taking the position (killer commute, no group insurance, possibility of company failing), so I wasn't too heartbroken when they went with someone who had more project management experience. Other than that, I haven't really seen too many new jobs on the job boards; except at universities, and I think we all know how I fare calling them. I applied, but the lack of phone calls gave me nothing to blog. The reason I'm posting today is to let everyone know that I've done something to try and further my cause. A while back, I applied to work for a new radio station for librarians. Try as I might, I could not find a phone number with which to contact the media outlet running the station. I did, however, come across an email address for a gentleman associated with it. I contacted him to see what he would be willing to do for me. After all, one of my favorite high school teachers taught me a long time ago that you don't get anything if you're too scared to ask. He wrote back and told me that he would love to feature my story on one of his shows. After a few edits and one major format change, I recorded a 5 minute commentary on the challenges of finding a job. FYI, it took me almost 2 hours to get it recorded due to some very loud neighbors and a dog-friendly neighborhood. Every time I'd get the words out smoothly, my camera would pick up a dog barking or my upstairs neighbor falling. I am proud of my final effort, but next time I'll go to a recording studio! Now, everyone go and listen to my podcast!

I'd also like to send a special thank you to Bob Kieserman for encouraging my efforts and being willing to put my piece on his network for the whole country to hear!

Case Study No. 0906: "Some post menopausal chick, giving you the stink eye"

Adam Carolla versus quiet cars!
4:02
Adam and the gang discuss the noise level on commuter trains ... Riveting!

From the June 14th (2012) edition of "The Adam Carolla Podcast."

http://www.adamcarolla.com/todd-barry-live-from-carolines-nyc/

Used without permission.
Tags: adam carolla podcast alison rosen todd barry quiet car long island railroad penn station atlantic terminal trains amtrak conductors librarians shush shushing
Added: 1 year ago
From: BoondyAlBoondy
Views: 542

[Adam and his crew are on stage speaking with comedian Todd Barry]
ALISON ROSEN: The Long Island Railroad is ramping up the number of quiet cars they have on their trains.
ADAM CAROLLA: Mmm.
ALISON ROSEN: On Monday, they'll add a quiet car to all single level electric trains to Penn Station and Atlantic Terminal during morning peak hours.
ADAM CAROLLA: Now do you ... The trains are quiet, or like no farting in the trains?
[the audience laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: What--
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah, they have odor-free cars.
ADAM CAROLLA: You have to be quiet?
ALISON ROSEN: You have to be quiet. They discourage loud talkers, phone calls, and electronic devices.
TODD BARRY: Yeah, but people aren't ... On Amtrak, I've ridden a quiet car, and they just, they don't--
ALISON ROSEN: They aren't?
TODD BARRY: They're not quiet, is what I'm trying to say.
ALISON ROSEN: Aww.
ADAM CAROLLA: They're not?
TODD BARRY: No, and everyone will kinda just sit around looking, 'cause there'll be someone on their cellphone, and they're just going "Lookit that guy talking ... "
[the audience laughs]
ALISON ROSEN: So it's a bunch of really passive people and one loud person.
TODD BARRY: Yeah yeah, it's like watching a crime in progress.
[the audience laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Wow!
ALISON ROSEN: That sounds awful!
TODD BARRY: Then you find out, "Oh, no one ever called the cops."
ADAM CAROLLA: The quiet car!
ALISON ROSEN: It's bystander apathy ... Uh, I heard--
ADAM CAROLLA: The quiet car sounds like a euphemism if you have, like, a special-needs kid.
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah.
ADAM CAROLLA: "Take Jeremy, use the quiet car."
[the audience laughs]
ALISON ROSEN: Right, or something--
ADAM CAROLLA: One of, the one with all the foam rubber padding.
ALISON ROSEN: It takes you to rehab.
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, take 'em to rehab in the quiet car.
TODD BARRY: I took a train from Portland to Seattle, and people would go in between cars, to make phone calls. Just on their own.
ADAM CAROLLA: Oh, really?
ALISON ROSEN: There's nowhere--
TODD BARRY: Yeah, they walk between the cars to make a phone call. Like, I almost fainted.
ALISON ROSEN: Would you agree with me, there's nowhere more frightening than between cars of a moving train?
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, well, they do have that little whisp of chain that's supposed to stop you, but ...
[the audience laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: It's really just gonna get tangled up in your jeans and you'll be dragged--
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah!
ADAM CAROLLA: To death, really!
ALISON ROSEN: Right!
ADAM CAROLLA: You'd be better off just going in one clean shot!
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah!
TODD BARRY: I'd rather hear him ... Yeah, I'd rather hear the guy falling between cars than, imagine him having a conference call with his web designer or something.
ALISON ROSEN: That's true ...
ADAM CAROLLA: Well, you know what they need--
ALISON ROSEN: Sacrifice that guy!
ADAM CAROLLA: Y'know, I think libraries are going the way of the dodo. Like, y'know, it's just a buncha homeless people reading the USA Today for free on one'a those giant wicker canes, right?
ALISON ROSEN: Right.
ADAM CAROLLA: No kids need the fuckin' library anymore. That's a, that's a waste of space ...
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah.
ADAM CAROLLA: But--
ALISON ROSEN: Goodbye, microfiche.
ADAM CAROLLA: Librarians need jobs! How about we put the librarians on the quiet cars ...
[the audience laughs]
TODD BARRY: Ushers!
ADAM CAROLLA: And get some post-menopausal chick, giving you the stink-eye!
TODD BARRY: Hushing people, yeah ...
ADAM CAROLLA: With the glasses with the chain on it, coming by ...
ALISON ROSEN: No, Adam! When she lets her bun down, she's actually hot!
ADAM CAROLLA: Oh, yeah! Porn librarians!
ALISON ROSEN: That's how all librarians are, didn't you know?
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, yeah.
ALISON ROSEN: Um, well, according to Newsday, the conductors on the quiet cars ... Instead of shushing someone, 'cause that would be noisy. 'Cause, y'know, there's nothing louder than people trying to tell you to shush. Uh, they hand you a card. I don't know if this is true, but I like the idea of it.
ADAM CAROLLA: Really?
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah.
ADAM CAROLLA: Like a soccer ref!
ALISON ROSEN: That's right.
[the audience laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: They hold up like a yellow card, and they're like--
TODD BARRY: "Long Island Railroad would like you to shut the fuck up."
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah!
ALISON ROSEN: Yeah!
[the audience laughs]
ADAM CAROLLA: Well first off ... "Here's my home number on the back, in case you wanna talk more about this in a more appropriate setting."
ALISON ROSEN: Right!
[the audience laughs]
ALISON ROSEN: I'll meet you between the cars ...
ADAM CAROLLA: What's going on in this car? Like, is Tiger Woods setting up a putt, or what's going on? Wh-why can't people fuckin' talk on a fucking train?
TODD BARRY: It's awful, though.
ALISON ROSEN: Well, they can talk on every--
ADAM CAROLLA: It's loud enough!
ALISON ROSEN: I know, but ... and I'm gonna yell about this. I never realized, and I lived in New York for eight years, I never realized how fucking loud it is everywhere here until I sat in a restaurant yester--Time is destroyed. Yesterday.
ADAM CAROLLA: Yes.
ALISON ROSEN: And I don't know, I don't think it was especially loud. I just think that I'm now used to LA, where I'm in a car or I'm in a quiet place. I forgot ... It's so great and so stimulating here, but man is it loud!
ADAM CAROLLA: But, are ... Is somebody performing oral surgery on this fuckin' train? Like, what's going on that you need this--
ALISON ROSEN: Not if they're gonna use a drill!
TODD BARRY: No, but you're hearing like ten different conversations ... One-sided conversations going on.
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, but I like that!
TODD BARRY: It's like, "Bernie, what, should we have Italian food tonight?"
ALISON ROSEN: See, Adam--
TODD BARRY: That's a perfect impression, by the way.
ALISON ROSEN: I would think you'd like the quiet car, because you're so hyper-aware of sounds.
ADAM CAROLLA: I do, but then it would bother me, because somebody would talk and then I would ... I'd rather just go on, is there like a fiesta car? Or--
[the audience laughs]
ALISON ROSEN: God, there should be!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah! A bullhorn car!
ALISON ROSEN: Right!
ADAM CAROLLA: Something ...
ALISON ROSEN: Everyday is Saint Patty's Day car!
ADAM CAROLLA: Yeah, people swingin' pinatas, y'know ...

---

From adamcarolla.com:

Adam opens the show discussing his busy day of book press, and a reporter who didn't know the Richard Gere gerbil rumor. He then answers audience questions about wedding rings, cleanliness vs. talcum powder, and why car gas gauges are so awful. Next up, Alison opens the news with clips of Wendy Williams saying that Adam was the worst guest she ever had. The guys also chat about Skunk Day, rattlesnakes, and peeing in the sink.

Later in the news, Alison discusses the banning of sugary drinks in New York, and the death of Henry Hill. Another news story is about the addition of more quiet subway cars, and Adam recalls a bizarre subway experience that happened earlier in the day. After stories about pizza vending machines and a guy who attacked his girlfriend with wasabi, the show wraps up with What Can't Adam Complain About.

Case Study No. 0845: Philippa and Vera

Dewey Eyed (Afternoon Play) Book Review
0:49
http://www.qb ba.com/book/51509/dewey-eyed-afternoon-play/
Philippa is a librarian from a long line of librarians....
Tags: book review audiobook audio book sarah naomi audiogo olivia colman
Added: 1 month ago
From: Ken Learet
Views: 1

From telegraph.co.uk:

Radio Highlights: Monday 30 March
Gillian Reynolds previews the day's radio programmes: Dewey Eyed (Radio 4) and The Essay (Radio 3)
By Gillian Reynolds
12:31PM BST 30 Mar 2009

Dewey Eyed

Radio 4, 2.15pm

Vera (Sheila Reid) wakes up her daughter Philippa (Olivia Colman). Vera wants to watch Fifteen to One. But it's 5.00am. Sarah Naomi Lee's play is about living with someone who's losing her wits, leaving toilet rolls in the freezer, forgetting things. Philippa is a librarian. Vera used to be. Is Vera just confused after her husband's death, years of continuous care for him? Ordinary words don't seem to make sense to her any more. Then Philippa remembers another language her mother knows, that of Dewey cataloguing. And it still speaks to her.

---

From amazon.com:

Dewey Eyed (Afternoon Play)

Philippa is a librarian from a long line of librarians. When her father dies and her mother loses her wits, Philippa tries the only language Vera understands, that of the Dewey cataloguing system, to guide her back to sanity. Starring Olivia Colman as Philippa, Sheila Reid as Vera, Caroline Guthrie as Sheila and Paul Rider as Alistair. Written by Sarah Naomi Lee. Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.

Case Study No. 0557: Coelin the Librarian

Jamie Preston and Coelin the Librarian on Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio
4:47
Jamie Preston interviews Coelin the librarian live on Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio.


www.arrowesound.co.uk
Tags: Coelin the librarian Jamie Preston
Added: 3 years ago
From: arrowesound2009
Views: 266

["An interview with Ceolin the librarian a prospective Arrowe Sound presenter. Jamie Preston the interviewer" appears on screen, then cut to Jamie in studio as Keith Robertshaw mans the camera]
JAMIE: That was Bruce Springsteen, with "Born to Run." Thank you very much for listening to Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio, we really appreciate your choice today. Now, next up we've got an interview, Coelin the librarian. He's gonna be here very very shortly, so don't go anywhere folks. This next track is one by the--
[the sound of a door opening can be heard outside the studio]
KEITH: [from off camera] Alright--
COELIN: [from off camera] Hello?
KEITH: [from off camera] I think here's here, Jamie. Watch him.
[a young man (blue sweater, blue jeans, sideways baseball cap, sunglasses) walks by the studio]
COELIN: Hello!
KEITH: [from off camera] This way!
JAMIE: Hold on! This way, please!
[they wave him into the studio]
COELIN: Oh, hello!
[he trips and stumbles into the studio]
JAMIE: What're ya like?
COELIN: Sorry! Sorry 'bout that ... Oh, a camera!
[he stares into the camera and waves]
COELIN: Hello!
KEITH: [from off camera] Uh, don't look in the camera. Don't look in the camera.
JAMIE: Please sit down, Coelin ...
KEITH: [from off camera] Oh, we're gonna have a no-win, no-fee here ...
COELIN: Ya what?
KEITH: [from off camera] Oh, just sit down ...
COELIN: You're a bit cheeky ...
KEITH: [from off camera] Just, just--
[he sits down next to Jamie]
JAMIE: Just sit down Coelin, right? We're gonna go on air in about two minutes.
COELIN: Hey, that's an interesting desk. What's that button do there?
[he reaches over towards the control board, but Jamie slaps his hand away]
COELIN: Ow!
JAMIE: Don't press that, don't press anything.
COELIN: Sorry ... Gotta be careful, some'a the buttons go "bang!", y'know?
JAMIE: [pause] Yeah. With you around, I'm sure.
COELIN: Y'know, they wouldn't let me join the radio, y'know? Hospital radio ...
JAMIE: I wonder why ...
COELIN: Yeah, I wondered as well! Y'know ...
JAMIE: Right, so we're goin' on air any second now, so get ready.
[he puts his headphones on, as Coelin just stares at the giant microphone in front of him]
COELIN: Some buttons ...
JAMIE: Be quiet, we're on the air.
COELIN: Oh, sorry!
JAMIE: Okay--
COELIN: I talk into that?
JAMIE: Yeah, yeah ... Welcome back to Arrow Sounde, thank you very much for joining us today. Now, in the studio right now with me, is Coelin the librarian. He wants to join our--
COELIN: Hello! Oh, sorry ...
JAMIE: Thank you very much, and he is gonna ... we're gonna do a little bit of an interview with him right now. So Coelin, how ya doin'?
COELIN: Fine, very good! A bit cold ...
JAMIE: It is a bit, isn't it?
COELIN: Bit cold! Nice and warm in here, though ...
JAMIE: It is, it's like a sauna in here today.
COELIN: It's lovely.
JAMIE: Right Coelin, you want to join us.
COELIN: Oh, yes!
JAMIE: Why do you want to join us?
COELIN: Well, because I'm very good on radio! I've got the face for radio, y'know, people have said.
JAMIE: I can, yeah, I can see that. He has got the face for radio, listeners. Um, so Coelin, what's your favorite type of music?
COELIN: Oh, lots of things. I like quality music, y'know, like uh ... like Bob the Builder! I think that's really good, y'know.
JAMIE: Oh yeah.
COELIN: I love that!
JAMIE: Very good ...
COELIN: He can't stop singin' it, y'know!
JAMIE: No ... And, uh, you dress quite sharply.
COELIN: Oh yeah, very trendy!
JAMIE: You're quite unique with your fashion sense.
COELIN: Yeah!
JAMIE: Who would you say you look up to in the fashion world?
COELIN: Well, Chris Moyles, I think!
JAMIE: Chris Moyles ...
COELIN: I'd like to be like him, y'know! I think I'd be better than him, actually ...
JAMIE: So you just want to be like Chris Moyles ...
COELIN: Oh ay, yes! Be a DJ, cuttin' edge!
JAMIE: Well, Chris Moyles, watch out! Now, we're gonna have more from Coelin in a little while. Let's hear this one now from Kings of Leon, and "Revelry" ...
COELIN: What happened to Bob the Builder?
[Jamie takes off his headphones in exasperation]
JAMIE: Now Coelin, we're gonna be back in a minute, so don't go anywhere, okay?
[Coelin gets up and wanders out of the studio]
COELIN: Hang on a minute ...
JAMIE: Coelin, where ya goin'? We'll be back on in two minutes!
KEITH: [from off camera] He's gone in the back!
[a loud crash is heard outside]
COELIN: [from off camera] Ow!
JAMIE: Coelin, what ya playin' at?
[he stumbles back into the studio]
COELIN: Oh, sorry!
[Jamie gets up and walks towards him]
JAMIE: Coelin, what ya playin' at?
[Coelin bumps into the door, which hits Jamie and knocks him to the ground]
COELIN: Where's he gone? Hello? Where's he gone to? Hello?
[he looks down and see Jamie unconscious on the ground]
COELIN: Oh, what're ya doin' down there? What're ya doin' down there, then?
KEITH: [from off camera] I think he's out ...
COELIN: Hey, this is my chance! To become a DJ!
[he sits down at the control board]
COELIN: I'll take over!
KEITH: [from off camera] No no, don't touch anything!
[Coelin leans down and pats Jamie on the leg]
COELIN: You have a little rest now, you'll be okay!
KEITH: [from off camera] Don't touch anything!
COELIN: I'll take over, eh?
KEITH: [from off camera] No! Don't touch anything!
COELIN: No, this is me chance! Don't spoil me chance!
KEITH: [from off camera] Don't touch!
COELIN: I could be a star!
[he leans in and yells into the microphone]
COELIN: Okay, you're listening to ... What, what's the hospital again?
[he turns to the cameraman]
COELIN: What's the radio?
KEITH: [from off camera] It's Arrowe Sound ...
COELIN: Hello, you're listening to Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio! And it's Coelin the librarian here! Much better than the other fellah! Uh, we've got some music, we're gonna try and find Bob the Builder!
KEITH: [from off camera] Don't touch anything!
COELIN: I think we all like Bob the Builder ... It's a really lovely song!
[Jamie (holding his head) gets up]
COELIN: Uh, maybe I could sing Bob the Builder?
JAMIE: Coelin, what're you doing?! Get off! Get outta my seat now!
COELIN: Oh, sorry!
[he gets up]
COELIN: Sorry buddy, are you okay?
JAMIE: I've lost my patience with ya! Get out! I'm fed up with ya!
COELIN: That's not very nice, is it?
[he pushes him out of the studio]
JAMIE: Get out now, get out! I'm fed up with ya!
[Coelin peeks his head back in]
COELIN: I'm sorry, could I ... could I come back in again?
JAMIE: Get lost! Get out of here right now!
COELIN: Sorry, I'll pay for the damage ...
[Jamie slams the door shut]
JAMIE: Just get out ...
KEITH: [from off camera] This is supposed to be--
[Coelin knocks on the door]
COELIN: Can I come in?
JAMIE: Get out!
KEITH: [from off camera] This is supposed to be a promo, isn't it?
[Coelin opens the door a crack]
COELIN: Sorry, I won't do it again.
JAMIE: Too late, you've had your chance. Now get ... get out.
COELIN: Come on now ... Just give me another chance.
KEITH: [from off camera] Can, can you just go? We're tryin'--
COELIN: It was an accident!
KEITH: [from off camera] We're tryin' to do a promo video here for Arrowe Sound ... Can you just go?
[he turns and leaves]
KEITH: [from off camera] Thank you ... and don't come back! And if you end up in hospital, we'll play some Bob the Builder for ya!
[the sound of another door closing outside is heard, as Jamie gives the thumbs up]
KEITH: [from off camera] Thank goodness for that ... What a character!
[Jamie laughs]
KEITH: [from off camera] Right? I'll let ya carry on with your program, Jamie.
[he sits back down in his chair]
KEITH: [from off camera] Thanks a lot. You've got a lotta patience.
["Coelin has now decided to try broadcasting from a rowing boat on the Irish sea. Maybe Pirate radio will be his only hope." appears on screen]

---

From blogspot.com:

Jamie Preston has another encounter with Coelin the librarian!

This is the official blog of Arrowe Sound's Sunday Sports Special Presenter Jamie Preston, he has been with the station since October 2004, after completing stints on Soul Fm UK and Liver Fm 105.8. Arrowe Sound is the only hospital radio station in the North West of england that broadcasts around the world through Live 365.

---

From hbauk.com:

Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio was established in 1971 and broadcasts to Arrowe Park Hospital, 24 hours a day.

Approximately 17 people are involved in the day-to-day running of the station. Volunteers are always needed; you should contact the station directly if you are interested.

Contact Details

Arrowe Sound Hospital Radio
Arrowe Park Hospital
Arrowe Park Road
Upton, Wirral
Merseyside
L49 5PE

Telephone: 0151 678 5111 x2628

Case Study No. 0480: Unnamed Female Librarian (Red Bar Radio Show)

THE RED BAR RADIO SHOW: MIKE CALLS A LIBRARY
7:34
A listener suggests that Mike calls a library that he is currently studying in, so that's what Mike does! This one didn't go as expected! (Mike likes to make "complaint" calls to see how people handle things!)
Tags: library red bar radio rbr
Added: 8 months ago
From: redbarradio
Views: 3,171

[Mike David is in studio, and a female librarian answers the phone]
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Douglas Library, circulation. Hello, who is this?
MIKE DAVID: Hi, I'm a library customer. I want, I have a few complaints here.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay.
MIKE DAVID: Uh, first of all, I checked out a book the other day, and I'm flippin' through it, and on page six, there's a giant swastika.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my ...
MIKE DAVID: Somebody drew.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my goodness.
MIKE DAVID: So, and I am a Jew, so I'm freakin' out. I think it's a death threat towards me and my family. And then I turn to the other page, guess what? There's a giant dick, shooting cum out, all over.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my gosh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that.
MIKE DAVID: Yeah ... Y'know, with the cum shooting out of the dickhole?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my gosh ...
MIKE DAVID: So, I'm appalled. I'm trying to read my book, "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein ... Have you heard'a that?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Yes, I've heard of that book.
MIKE DAVID: I love that book. Uh, I was reading it to my kids, actually. Sitting on their Jewish beds, and I'm flipping through the book, and they go "Daddy, what's this picture?"
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my gosh.
MIKE DAVID: And I go, "Oh my god, it's a dick with cum," and then I had to show them my actual dick to show them what the kid was drawing in the book ... Now, my kids are frightened. They don't wanna come around me. My wife called DCFS saying that I'm a molester. So how are we gonna work this out, 'cause I gotta prove to them that I didn't draw these dicks. And the swastika. And the devil.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, um, may I have your name and number, if that's okay with you?
MIKE DAVID: Yeah, my name is Jeremy Jewishstein.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Could you spell your last name for me, please?
MIKE DAVID: Yes. Uh, "J-E-W-I-S-H-S-T-E-I-N."
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] "S-H" ... Uh, "S-H-I-S-T-O-N."
MIKE DAVID: Yeah.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, and may I have your phone number?
MIKE DAVID: Yes, it's area code "6-0-2."
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay.
MIKE DAVID: "4-0-2-0-0-1-4."
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] And you said the book is "Where the Sidewalk Ends" ...
MIKE DAVID: Yes, "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein. And then, if you go on the back, there's a picture of Shel Silverstein in there?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay.
MIKE DAVID: And they drew black circles around his eyes, and there's a speech bubble that comes out that says "You're all gonna fuckin' die, and the library is gonna fuckin' kill all of you." And then it said "ni[beep]er."
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh my gosh.
MIKE DAVID: So--
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Um ...
MIKE DAVID: And I had to read it.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Would you happen to know which library you checked it out from?
MIKE DAVID: I don't, y'know ... As a Jewish man, it's--
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Did it say on the label which library?
MIKE DAVID: I don't know. I burned the book, by the way, so you're not gonna be getting it back.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Right, understandably.
MIKE DAVID: Yeah. I had a big book burning. And I'm a very business, a very busy Jewish businessman, and I don't have time for this stuff. Y'know?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Um, lemmee see. I just wanna bring up the record ...
MIKE DAVID: Oh, uh, Douglas Library is where I got it. Do you know Douglas Library?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Yes, this is Douglas Library.
MIKE DAVID: Okay, yeah, that's where I got it from.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Um sir, we don't, I'm looking at the ... Uh, we don't have a book from Douglas Library by that title.
MIKE DAVID: Uh, I have actually a little thing to confess.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] You have what?
MIKE DAVID: I have something to confess.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Yes?
MIKE DAVID: The day I checked out the book, well, I didn't actually check it out. I had forgotten my library card at home, so I put the book under my shirt. And took it.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay.
MIKE DAVID: So, and I apologize for that.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Um, okay sir, but um ... We don't have a Douglas, Douglas Library does not own a copy of that book.
MIKE DAVID: Well, it was there. Maybe somebody left it behind. I also took a BB King cassette tape.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, um, I'm gonna contact my supervisor--
MIKE DAVID: Yes, please ... Can you put him on the line with me?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Uh, actually, I have to get off the line and then call him.
MIKE DAVID: No no no no no no, I need something to explain to my son here, 'cause he's traumatized. He saw my penis.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Um, well, I'm gonna need to get off the phone. I have your name and number, and uh--
MIKE DAVID: Miss, I ... As a Jewish man, I'm not able to get off the phone, because I'm only allowed to have one phone call a day.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, um--
MIKE DAVID: Um, it's just part of our wacky religion. And I'm sure, you living in a library, you've read enough books about the Nazis to know how crazy some'a the stuff we do is.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Right. Your call may be disconnected, though, while you're kept on hold while I call my supervisor--
MIKE DAVID: Yeah, I really can't be disconnected.
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] I'm just, I'm just warning you that the call, because I have to put you on hold--
MIKE DAVID: Can I tell you something about the Jewish religion? On Fridays, if we're disconnected, we don't make it into heaven when we die. So on Fridays, we have to stay on the phone. It's part of the Jewish thing, I can't explain it right now, but ... y'know, if you don't wanna respect that, you're as good as Hitler. So--
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, I-I need to get off the phone, sir.
MIKE DAVID: Why?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] I-I'm sorry, uh--
MIKE DAVID: Have I said something to offend you?
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] I-I'm sorry--
MIKE DAVID: Have I misspoke? Was I too bold?
[the librarian starts to break down]
LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] I-I'm sorry, I need to get off the phone.
[she hangs up]
MIKE DAVID: Oh my god. Jesus Christ!
[he starts laughing]
MIKE DAVID: Holy shit! Um ... What the fuck? Oh my god, I don't even know how to respond to that! I've never had somebody get off trembling.
[he imitates her voice quivering]
MIKE DAVID: "Oh my god, I need to get off the phone!"
[he laughs]
MIKE DAVID: Wow ... I think she, like, bottled up all that and didn't know what to do with it. She's hearing Hitler and dicks and all this. And that's a librarian, y'know, they're already nutso!
[he points to someone off camera]
MIKE DAVID: Wow. Now, the dude who gave me that number ... Uh, you're in that library! Can you, can you find that woman and see if she's crying? Can you see if there's any librarians who look like they're in trouble?
[cut to Mike speaking on the phone with the male library patron who gave him the library's number to call]
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] Yeah, I'm the guy who just sent you the library number!
MIKE DAVID: Oh my god, are you in that library right now?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] I-I walked past, I saw her!
MIKE DAVID: You did see her?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] She was definitely crying!
MIKE DAVID: No no no, you swear to god?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] Swear to god, she was talking to the supervisor.
MIKE DAVID: And she was crying?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] She was, like, wiping her eyes.
MIKE DAVID: So this isn't a big library, you'd know that that's the person who would answer the phone?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] Yeah.
MIKE DAVID: She was wiping her eyes, you swear to god?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] Swear to god, she was there wiping her eyes!
MIKE DAVID: Oh, well that's not good. I didn't wanna make her cry and ruin her day. Why was she crying, I didn't do anything that--
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] I dunno, you didn't do anything.
MIKE DAVID: So you're sitting in the library, listening to me do this?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] Yeah, I was right there. I could see her while you were talking to her.
[he laughs]
MIKE DAVID: Oh my god! Are you kidding me?
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] I'm serious!
MIKE DAVID: Oh, I don't know if that's, like, great radio or sad radio ...
LIBRARY PATRON: [over the phone] That was great radio ...

---

From facebook.com:

RED BAR RADIO (11-18-11)
Mike is tired, and in a bad mood! He is very sorry. Solo show today! Mostly Mike complaining about how the show "needs a guy!" However, a few good "complaint" calls are made that the listeners seemed to love! Mike calls UPS, a library, and a sun glass company. One woman cries, and another thinks she's fired!