Case Study No. 1272: Staff of the Library of Congress (The Conduit)

The Conduit Walkthrough Level 4 "Trust" {Library of Congress} [Part 1]
9:43
The Conduit Walkthrough Level 4 "Trust" {Library of Congress} [Part 1]
Tags: The Conduit Walkthrough Level Trust {Library of Congress} [Part 1]
Added: 4 years ago
From: MachinimatingGamer17
Views: 11,929

[scene opens with Michael Ford communicating with the supposed terrorist Prometheus via computer]
FORD: All right, Prometheus, what's going on here? First you try to kill me, and now you're helping me? Who's side are you on, really?
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I'm on your side, Michael. I know it's hard to believe, but hear me out. Adams has been using you since the beginning. Now that you've served your purpose, he wants you out of the picture.
FORD: Why should I believe you?
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Right now, you don't need to. You just need to listen.
[a blueprint of the Library of Congress appears on the monitor]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] There's a Drudge nest underneath the Library of Congress. It has to be destroyed before they infest the city, and you're the only one who can do it.
[the schematics for a suit of body armor appears on the monitor]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I've given you a suit of Trust armor that we confiscated from one of Adams' weapon caches. I haven't been able to completely activate all its functions yet, but it will protect you from some damage and slowly regenerate your health. I just hope it's enough.
FORD: Hold on a minute, you still haven't explained what's going on here.
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] There's no time, Michael. That nest is a ticking bomb, and this city is doomed if it should go off. You've got to hurry!
FORD: I'll go along with you for now, but if you're lying to me, I'll take you down ... hard. Do you understand me?
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I would expect nothing less.
[cut to a shot inside the Library of Congress, as armed guards are stationed everywhere]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Be careful, Michael ... Adams has puppets stationed throughout this building, with orders to kill anyone they see.
[Ford takes out his weapon and begins killing the guards]
ADAMS: [via intercom] Mister Ford! What an unexpected surprise!
FORD: Adams, what sort of game are you playing?
ADAMS: [via intercom] Oh, this is no game, Mister Ford. It is deadly serious ... The Trust has guided this nation for over two hundred years. We shaped it into the pre-eminent superpower on the planet, and we will continue to improve it by any means necessary.
[Ford continues fighting off the guards, weaving his way around several display cases and climbing up the stairs in order to avoid gunfire]
ADAMS: [via intercom] I understand that our methods may appear ... extreme, but I assure you, the country will emerge from this crisis stronger than ever! If you truly want to serve your country, join us! The Trust could use people like you!
FORD: Go to hell.
ADAMS: [via intercom] Pity ... I'll keep the offer open, but I'm going to need that ASE back, one way or another.
["Objective Added" appears on screen, as Ford makes his way down a corridor]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Michael, come in! Michael? Are you there?
FORD: Prometheus? Where were you?
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Sorry, Adams has some sort of jamming technology. I had to work around it ... To reach the Drudge nest, we'll have to hack into the Trust mainframe. There should be a data port in the Library's main reading room.
[Ford makes his way further into the library (passing several study tables and bookshelves), until he reaches a corridor where the walls are covered in extraterrestrial egg sacs]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Be careful around those. They are incredibly dangerous.
[he moves forward, when they suddenly "hatch" to reveal small alien creatures called "Tear-Mites"]
FORD: What the hell are they?
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I suggest you prepare yourself. The incubation site will be crawling with them.
[the kills the Tear-Mites, then makes his way further into the library]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Keep moving, don't let them close in on you!
[he continues making his way towards the library's main reading room]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Don't stop, the reading room is just ahead!
[he kills some more Tear-Mites, then moves forward until he finds himself in the main reading room, as "Objective Completed" appears on screen]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I'm picking up signals from a Trust data port. Secure the room while I try to locate it.
[he kills the Tear-Mites and guards protecting the reading room, then "Objective Completed" appears on screen]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Found it. It's behind a secure door. You'll have to hack the door lock to open it.
[he uses the All Seeing Eye to open the door and activate the computer terminal inside the room, as "Objective Completed" appears on screen, then a timer appears and counts down from "1:30"]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] You triggered the fail-safe. I'll need some time to keep it from wiping its memory core.
[waves of Tear-Mites suddenly fill the reading room, as Ford continues blasting away until the timer reaches the thirty-second mark]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Not much longer ...
[he kills more enemies, as the timer reaches the ten-second mark]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Few more seconds ...
[he kills more enemies, as the timer reaches zero]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] I managed to salvage the access codes before the system shut down. Now clear the area of any remaining Drudge before you proceed.
[he kills the last of the Tear-Mites]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Enterin access codes ...
[cut to the middle of the reading room, as a secret passage in the floor opens and several flying aliens (called "Para-Mites") emerge]
[Ford kills the Para-Mites and enters the secret passage, leading to the sewer system beneath the library]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] This is part of the DC sewer system. The nest is located deep within it.
["Objective Added" appears on screen, as Ford kills more enemies before reaching a set of steel bars blocking his entry]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] The floodgate is as sturdy as any security door. You'll need to find the valve that controls it.
[he finds the valve and turns it]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Good. All the doors down here should operate the same way.
[he continues his way through the sewer system]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] The ASE is detected Drudge DNA in the water. You must be getting close.
[he eventually reaches a room filled with egg sacs, as "Objective Completed" appears on screen]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] These Drudge are nothing but monsters, Michael ... Abominations! Do whatever you have to do to bring down this entire nest!
[he destroys all thirty egg sacs in the room (as well as the various enemies that appear to try and stop him), as "Objective Completed" appears on screen]
PROMETHEUS: [via intercom] Good work, Michael! That should put a serious dent in the Drudge forces, but our work is just starting ... Get outta there, and we'll plan our next move.

---

From wikia.com:

"Trust" is the fourth mission in Nintendo Wii game "The Conduit". It takes place in the Library of Congress, where Prometheus sends you to search for any alien activity and deal with it accordingly.

When Michael Ford was a Secret Service agent, John Adams contacts him, and tells him that he is a part of a secret government organization known as The Trust, and that the President has given him permission to recruit Ford for a special assignment. A terrorist known as Prometheus stole a valuable Trust prototype. He and his men are on their way to Reagan National Airport, and Ford, along with Adams' men and U.S. military forces will be waiting for him. At the airport, The Trust agents turn against Ford, and Adams assumes they are working for Prometheus. Ford makes his way through the airport, encountering canisters of a strange orange gas along the way. This is how Prometheus has turned the Trust agents against him. Ford boards the train that Prometheus is supposed to be using, and fights his way to the front car. One of Prometheus's men, a scientist, detonates several bombs that destroys the train. Ford survives and recovers the prototype, codenamed the All-Seeing Eye (ASE).

Mr. Adams reveals that Prometheus was never on board the train, but he has located Prometheus' base under the city in a government bunker. He sends Ford in solo for his own safety. In the bunker, Ford discovers prototype weapons, advanced technology, a neuro-toxin, and a race of aliens known as the Drudge. The first Drudge he sees is identified by Adams' as a Drone. Ford manages to hack into the computer mainframe with the ASE and steals secret files detailing an alien invasion. Then he finds out that Prometheus' men are planning on releasing the toxin into the water supply. He manages to destroy all traces of the neuro-toxin. When he emerges from the bunker near the Jefferson Memorial, Adams praises him for his prowess, but then turns on him and leaves to die as a whole Drudge militia converge on the Memorial.

Ford is contacted by the "terrorist" Prometheus through the ASE who says he wants to help him. Ford decides to go along with him for now and purges the Memorial of the Drudge attack force. Prometheus then sends a helicopter to pick Ford up. He informs Michael of a Drudge nest under the Library of Congress. Ford arrives at the Library to find it overrun by Puppet Humans and Drudge forces. He slowly makes his way to the main Reading Room where Prometheus hacks into the Trust mainframe. This opens a path to the sewers, but also releases a swarm of flying Para-Mites. Ford manages to take them out and jumps down into the sewers below the Library. After navigating the twisting passageways and tunnels he finds himself in a huge room filled with egg sacs of every type. Ford manages to clear out the nest and escape back to higher ground.

---

From ign.com:

Radio Locations and Transcripts
Trust (04)

Radio 4-1:

* Location: On a table in a small room right before the pillar hallway infested with Hatchers.

* Number of channels: 7

* Channel 1:

Gordon Wells: Where are all the bodies from the cemeteries being taken? Are they creating puppets to integrate into our society? Are we surrounded by agents of this conspiracy? What did we learn from Operation Ember Cliff? Were there great secrets kept buried somewhere? Did our government stumble upon some secret the Atlanteans deemed too dangerous to allow us to have? I think the 1984 Rajneeshee attacks were a prototype of the Bug. I think they are preparing us for conversion. Maybe we've been too thorough in uncovering mysteries. Before, we had Allen Dulles, J. Edgar Hoover, Earl Warren, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Ben Franklin, and so many others, ALL Freemasons! Now who do we have? Have we rooted out the control of our government too much? Is this why we are being attacked? Experts say that humans can live to one thousand. ONE THOUSAND!! This sounds unworldly, does it not!? Restricting embryonic research, hmm? Maybe because it would uncover governmental manipulation of our very DNA? Maybe we are being forced to die! Some researcher seems to think so.

* Channel 2:

John Wayne Guy: This situation shows us that we have to be prepared for attacks at any time. We have scattered reports of huge unrest throughout the D.C. metro area. We have callers referring to some possible mutation of the Bug, or a new wave of terror attacks possibly aimed at our government. They speak of people becoming erratic or psychotic in their behavior. All people still inside the D.C. metro area should barricade themselves in their homes and do not answer their doors. Rescue personnel will find you once the city has calmed down and the National Guard have established control in your area. I repeat, all listeners still inside the D.C. metro area, barricade yourself inside your homes. Do not answer your door. Do not check on your neighbors. I have consulted with a former Homeland Security agent who's advised that all civilians get to the lowest level of their homes with a flashlight, canned food, and water for three days, and a first aid kit. Portable radios are advised, and inhabited buildings should place a large "X" using duct tape or other materials over their doors to indicate to rescue workers where you are. Do not answer your door for anyone. Remain inside during this crisis. Those requiring medical attention are advised to tie a strip of red fabric to their door handles in addition to the "X". The National Guard is ill-prepared to meet this onslaught of violence. Mark my words, this type of attack could lead to a lengthy clearing process by which we establish a cordoned area around the D.C. metro area. With requirements for CDC testing, as well as security of the area in general, we could be looking at more than a year before we are even able to return to our homes.

* Channel 3:

Jared X. Fulton: It has been reported that the fire has been heavy in the northwest pavilion of the Library of Congress. No word yet on any casualties. Suspicions have quickly surfaced that the fires were deliberately set by terrorists in the recent series of attacks that have swept Washington, D.C. National Guardsman have been notified and are ready for any kind of response. Multiple gunshots have been heard at the Library of Congress. This, compounded with the fire, makes this a likely terrorist attack.

* Channel 4:

[Random messages]

* Channel 5:

Fang Jorgensen: I've got more news on Mitch Angst of local metal band Crash Murder. He was infected recently with the Bug and now it looks like he's gone missing from the Bradley General Hospital. Surely he has gone to do the bidding of the Dark One ... Strange, the Library of Congress is under attack by the demonic horde. They seem to be burning into the ground with their blessed hellfire. But why? Who knows what rare books may be housed in that building. Perhaps the demons were sent there to find a rare, arcane tome for their master, and to lay waste to all that stands in their way.

* Channel 6:

Autumn Wanderer: Hello, my children! This is Autumn's Earthly Delights, and I am Autumn Wanderer. Today I'm excited to say we have entered a glorious new era as we have finally made contact with extra-terrestrial visitors. Communication, though, was initially flawed, due to the visitors being attacked by government agencies. The visitors arrived here from across the cosmos, choosing the Jefferson Memorial as a location to land upon Mother Earth and make peaceful contact with the world. But the patriarch sent his bloodthirsty dogs to attack our visitors. All they were trying to do was defend themselves. Don't believe their lies! Well, I wouldn't doubt that the memorial's destruction was, in fact, the government's fault. I believe this is a horrible conspiracy perpetuated by the government in order to control the masses. The visitors are not our enemies. The people in power want to enslave us so they can live their over-indulgent lifestyles. These beings are not trying to kill us, they are our friends.

* Channel 7:

Timothy Browning: If you're just joining us, folks, there has been breaking news of a fire at the Library of Congress. Reports are sketchy, at best. But word is that this could be another terrorist attack. If so, this will be a costly blow to the American taxpayer. The costs of these attacks, in their own right, is staggering. Of course, these costs go straight to the taxpayer, which will make life even harder in these tough times. I believe that we should explore sponsorships from private industries to make sure that our national landmarks are repaired and maintained. Reports have come in that, in addition to a fire at the Library of Congress, now we have gunshots. There definitely is some sort of conflict happening there. Hopefully we can get more information on the terrorists.

Radio 4-2:

* Location: After descending a granite stairwell, right before the Organic lock that blocks the main reading room.

* Number of channels: 3

* Channel 1:

Alpha 1: Delta 6 is rogue, Delta 6 is rogue! Overwatch, he's shooting us! Request permission to return fire. Oh my God, oh my God! Overwatch, Delta 6 is down. Delta 6, KIA. Please advise.

Overwatch: Alpha 1, Sector 7 clear. Reporting no Tangos. Repeat, Sector 7 clear.

Alpha 1: Proceeding to Sector 8.

* Channel 2:

Unit 20: Dispatch, Unit 20 and I are at the Library of Congress. We think we've found a stash of strange-looking weapons? I don't recognize it, but, it's in this tunnel behind a false wall. Please advise.

Unit 6: Unit 6 here, 3rd floor is secure. I've got a suspicious man wandering around in the north courtyard. Awaiting orders.

Unit 20: Dispatch, this is Unit 20. I've got some guys here acting like Feds but refusing to show identification. They're obviously armed and...whuh, wha? THEY'RE SHOOTING US! REPEAT, SHOTS FIRED! SHOTS FIRED!

* Channel 3:

Emergency Alert System: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* This is a bulletin from the Emergency Alert System. The following agencies of the Federal Government are not in operation due to lack of attendance: U.S. House of Representatives, U.S. Senate, Department of Agriculture, Department of Commerce, Department of Education, Department of Health and Human Services, Department of Housing and Urban Development, Department of Labor, Department of State, Department of the Treasury, Department of Veterans' Affairs.

Emergency Alert System: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* This is a bulletin from the Emergency Alert System. Washington Metro bus service to the Adams, Morgan, and Dupont Circle neighborhoods is canceled due to flooding.

Emergency Alert System: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* This is a bulletin from the Emergency Alert System. All residents infected or suspected of being infected with the Bug must be added to the new National Registry of Infected Persons before receiving treatment. Failure to comply may result in fines up to ten thousand dollars and eighteen months in prison for the infected persons and the medical professionals who treat them without permission.

Emergency Alert System: *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* This is a bulletin from the Emergency Alert System. A terror suspect, known as the "Jade Emperor", has escaped from a United States detention center. He is also known to have used the alias "Qin Shi Huang". This suspect is considered armed and dangerous.

Radio 4-3:

* Location: After entering the D.C. sewer system, on an orange shelf in a barred area, before descending the rusty double staircase to the Hatcher infested sewers.

* Number of channels: 7

* Channel 1:

Gordon Wells: We are being cut off from the outside world. My broadcasts are not reaching the rest of my listening nation. Is it because we have some huge cover-up? The storm so CONVENIENTLY blanketing us restricts air travel and the broadcasts are limited in range. We need to get word to the outside world. I have reports that there is some sort of disturbance in the waters off the coast of Puerto Rico. We need more information. Any listener with information on this matter, PLEASE contact the station. I suspect the clouds of the storm to be seeded with the Bug. If it begins to rain, seek shelter immediately. The National Archives need to be protected. We KNOW that many secrets are held there in the secret wing held by the Masons. Anyone who has information, please relay such updates to me directly via my website. My signal seems to be experiencing some interference. I'll be off the air shortly while I try to track down the nature of the disturbance. The revolution continues.

* Channel 2:

Jared X. Fulton: Several sources, and confirmed video, show that individuals inside the Library of Congress, dressed in creature costumes, are setting fires and attacking police. What the hell is going on? The fires have been said to be under control for the moment, but gunshots are still being heard coming from the national landmark. More to come, after this.

* Channel 3:

Timothy Browning: We have just received information that the terrorists are apparently ... (*silence*). Sorry for the interruption, folks. We'll have more information as it comes in. The D.C. Fire Department is on the scene and it seems that the fires are under control. No word yet of any further gunplay. Perhaps when the damage has been assessed and the costs of repair are tallied we can obtain a corporate sponsor for the Library's repair.

* Channel 4:

John Wayne Guy: Baffling reports of inhuman attackers are reaching us. Personally, this indicates to me that a hallucinogenic agent or some manner of mass hysteria seems to be gripping our survivors. Those owning gas masks and water filtration methods should be employing them. We can not be too careful. But if you do begin to see these alien images, lock yourself in a bathroom or basement and remain calm. Try to regulate your breathing, review what you've consumed in the last twenty-four hours. If this is indeed some new chemical attack on our people all possible information as to the root of the matter will be necessary. I have reports that submarine forces are supporting the National Guard refugee efforts. Citizens are being quarantined for the time being. Those fears of chemical or biological agents infecting the populace at large have been noted. Please co-operate with these officials. We are experiencing some bleed through on our signal at this hour. Concerns that subversion or interference due to this attack is being performed caused us to investigate this matter. Our technicians are checking the signal tower and we should have the matter resolved soon. Anyone knowing information can...their... ...anyone has been scanning other channels and noticed similar interference, please record the exact frequency of the interruption or rogue signal.

* Channel 5:

Fang Jorgensen: We've received reports that the police and military are trying to combat the demons. Brave, but pointless. They cannot be stopped. There is no way to fight the inevitable. The darkness is approaching, and we are charged to join with it. The Fourth Gate has revealed our fate. The Fifth Gate has placed us on its path. Will you go through the Sixth Gate? We've got Said Velocity, Demenics, and Kilgore comin' up in a second. You are listening to the Fang Bang Metal Show with Fang Jorgensen. Stay tuned.

* Channel 6:

Autumn Wanderer: Listen to the silence and hear the truth from the Earth spirits. The other-worldly beings are here to help us see the error of our ways, and to bring us the greater truth of our existence. Allow Gaia to help you understand! It seems that the military has needlessly attacked our visitors yet again. This time, the Government troops have chased the visitors into the Library of Congress. Eyewitnesses believe that the troops are trying to choke the extra-terrestrials out with tear gas. Let us PRAY to the mother for our visitors' safety. In order to prevent the cruel treatment of other-worldly beings, I believe we should stage a protest on the steps of the Library of Congress. We have to let the Government KNOW that the people will not tolerate their lies any more. People from another planet have rights, too! Let's stop shooting them and start loving them.

* Channel 7:

[Random messages]

---

From gamefaqs.com:

Hidden Messages Within the Library of Congress

10. "MDCCLXXVI"

Location: After the second organic lock, you enter a second, rectangular library area with five staircases on both sides of the room. Look to your right and you'll see two American flags. Scan the wall between the two American flags.

Explanation:
MDCCLXXVI is the Roman numeralization of the number 1776, the year that the Declaration of Independence for the United States was signed.

11. "Under the terms of the treaty the Shugurra was returned!"

Location: In the third rectangular library area with all the red pulse boxes, there is a Therm-Mite hatcher on the far wall between two American flags. Face the hatcher and turn 90 degrees to the right. Scan the wall between the last right-hand set of stairs and the door that you can't go through.

Explanation:
In Sumerian myth, the 'Shugurra' was a crown; the term means 'that which makes go far into the universe'. The character in the myths who wore the crown was Mari, who is comparable to Christianity's Mary, mother of Jesus; however, Mari predates the Virgin Mary by about 3000 years. The treaty, potentially, refers to every 2000-3000 years there is a different 'age' of mankind, and how Mari ascended to the heavens upon the conclusion of that age.

12. "The Condon Committee was ours!"

Location: After the ghost mines, you enter an area where you have to go down a set of granite steps with a statue of a lady holding a torch/lamp in her hand. As you head down the steps, make sure the statue of the lady is on your right hand side, and scan the granite wall straight ahead.

Explanation:
The Condon Committee was an informal title given to the UFO project at the University of Colorado, established to study claims made about UFOs as well as potential sightings.

13. "Fight and die for the NWO!"

Location: At the end of the first sewer system tunnel there is a large circular opening on the left that you enter. Before entering the circular sewer, scan the wall to the right of the circular sewer opening.

Explanation:
NWO stands for 'New World Order'. There exists a conspiracy theory that uses the term 'New World Order' for the advent of a one-world government slowly being created.

14. "Humans should fear the world they call Eris"

Location: At you exit the circular sewer section, you see an alcove on the left, next to a rusty staircase that leads down. In the alcove, scan the wall to the left of the rusty staircase.

Explanation:
Eris is the largest (known) dwarf planet in the Solar System, approximately 27 percent larger than Pluto. The idea that humans should fear it implies that Eris harbors hostile alien life. It is interesting to note that Eris was almost named 'Xena,' after the famous TV series warrior princess; Xena: The Warrior Princess is a spin-off of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which starred Kevin Sorbo as the titular character- Sorbo voiced 'Prometheus' for the game.

15. "The Ducaz came before the Drudge"

Location: After you exit the circular sewer area with the tentacles, turn to your left and you'll see a Drudge turret. Take out the turrent, and scan the concrete section of the left hand wall. This scan is in the area before you get locked in the Drudge Hatchery fight.

Explanation:
The Reptilians or Ducaz were sent by their "masters", the Nephilim or Elohim to fight in wars with other alien races and to serve as their spies, bodyguards, and police force.

Case Study No. 1271: Unnamed Female Librarian (The Mary Whitehouse Experience)

The Mary Whitehouse Experience - The Library Experience
2:05
Sketches from the 1992 series of the fantastic British comedy show "The Mary Whitehouse Experience". The clip starts off with a parody of Edward Scissorhands ("Edward Colinderhands") and then David describes what happens to him in libraries. Incredibly funny.
WARNING: Contains exploding Barry Whites.
Tags: Rob Robert Newman David Baddiel Steve Punt Hugh Dennis Mary Whitehouse Experience british comedy
Added: 7 years ago
From: zoot91
Views: 46,866

["The Library Experience" appears on screen, as David gets up on stage and speaks with the audience]
DAVID BADDIEL: I don't go into libraries, because I've discovered that it is impossible for me to be sat in a library for more than 45 seconds without developing a non-negotiable hard-on. I think it's not just me. I reckon that when he goes into a library, even Bernard Levin must feel his preen withered-on-the-vine, austerity-years genitals stirring across and up the left hand side of his grey worsted pants. Alternatively, Barry White must explode ...
[cut to the inside of a library, where an elderly female librarian is sorting books when "Barry White" walks in and subsequently explodes (which the librarian barely reacts to as she continues sorting her books), then cut back to David on stage]
DAVID BADDIEL: I thought so ... The libido is like a character in "The Beano"; whenever it's most supposed to stay clean, tidy and quiet, you know, that's when it's going to get dirty. It's the silence and those "quiet please" signs. They just make it worse.
[cut back to the library, as a group of patrons are sitting at a table with the signs hanging above them which read "Tense Sexual Atmosphere Please," "Furrowed Guilt in the Air at All Times," and "No Standing on the Desk and Shouting 'Hey Everybody Let's F**k!'", then cut back to David on stage]
DAVID BADDIEL: There is another train of thought as to why you get the horn in the library and it's based on how anti-sexual a library is obviously meant to be. It maintains that the libido sets up deliberate antagonism in response to this bold attempt of the super-ego to put it on ice for a while. It senses conscious attempt to banish it from the action and, like a spoilt child in the hands of an unauthoritive parent, responds by showing off even louder than usual.

---

From wikipedia.org:

The Mary Whitehouse Experience was a British topical sketch comedy show produced by the BBC in association with Spitting Image Productions. It starred two comedy double acts - David Baddiel and Rob Newman, and also Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis, all of whom had graduated from Cambridge University. It was broadcast on both radio and television in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

A television pilot aired on BBC2 shortly before the fourth and final radio series, on 3 October 1990. The series proper started on 3 January 1991 and ran for six episodes, with a second set of six episodes in 1992.

The television series was a mix of surreal sketches and monologues, in a format similar to shows such as Mr. Show and The Kids in the Hall. The show featured a lot of satirical takes on famous people, films and TV shows of the day along with original character material.

Each show was made up of sections usually headed by a caption related to the topic about to be discussed. The caption took the form of 'The [topic] Experience'. One of the performers would begin talking about the topic in monologue form, sometimes with input from another performer who appeared in character. The monologue would make reference to a humorous scenario which would be played out in sketch form, returning either to the same topic or moving on to a different or loosely related one. Lines or characters from sketches might recur throughout the show either as a continuation of the original sketch or an invasion of another one.

Case Study No. 1270: Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly

Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly on Jimmy Kimmel Live // 11/11/2009
7:01
http://tiny.cc/JIMMyK

Jimmy Kimmel Live With Dominic Monaghan, Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly PART 1 || 11-11-2009

Actor Dominic Monaghan (Flash Forward), librarians Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly (Awful Library Books), musical guest Los Lonely Boys
Tags: Jimmy Kimmel Live ESPY Jamie-Lynn Sigler Entourage Sean Patrick McGraw video late show perform watch online interview talk night funny studio part2 part3 part4 part1 hq
Added: 4 years ago
From: WoodenSpace
Views: 7,764

[the show returns to commercial, as host Jimmy addresses the camera directly]
JIMMY KIMMEL: Our next guests are librarians from Michigan, they've turned their affection for bad writing into a very amusing website called "Awful Library Books." Here tonight to share some of the awful library books from the site, we have Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly.
[the audience applauds as the two female librarian come out and take their seats]
JIMMY KIMMEL: Hello, Holly and Mary, thank you for being here. Now, you guys are real librarians, like you work at the library?
HOLLY HIBNER: Yeah, the real library!
MARY KELLY: A real library ...
JIMMY KIMMEL: It still existed, I thought the internet had brought the library down.
HOLLY HIBNER: No no no ...
MARY KELLY: No, that's just a fad!
JIMMY KIMMEL: It's just a fad, okay ...
[everyone laughs]
JIMMY KIMMEL: So, can people come in, and do you tell them to be quiet?
HOLLY HIBNER: No, our libraries are kind of--
MARY KELLY: They tell us to be quiet!
HOLLY HIBNER: Yeah, we're loud librarians.
JIMMY KIMMEL: You have loud libraries? Really?
HOLLY HIBNER: Yeah.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Do you have homeless people checking their email?
HOLLY HIBNER: Occasionally.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Occasionally?
MARY KELLY: Yeah.
JIMMY KIMMEL: That's fun too, right?
HOLLY HIBNER: Sure! [laughs]
JIMMY KIMMEL: Now, you guys have started collecting ... Where do you get these books that you've been collecting?
HOLLY HIBNER: They come from all over, we get submissions from all over the country. All over the world even!
JIMMY KIMMEL: People see books and they go, "Oh, they would love this!" and they send them to you.
HOLLY HIBNER: Yes!
MARY KELLY: Yep.

---

From mlive.com:

The Plymouth librarians behind the blog Awful Library Books were on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night to talk about some of their favorite useful and ridiculous books found on the shelves of libraries.

The blog, which they started this summer, highlights out-of-date books and has been steadily building traffic and was even written about in Time magazine in July.

With a witty and sometimes snarky tone, Mary Kelly and Holly Hibner post photos of books such as 1984's "Computer Tech Talk" and the 1973 title "To Smoke or Not to Smoke."

The submissions come from all over the country and around the world. They started the blog hoping to highlight the importance of weeding out dated books in order to make libraries as useful and relevant as possible.

On "Kimmel," they looked at, and poked fun at "What's Wrong with My Snake," whose cover features a gloved hand sticking a tongue depressor down a snake's throat, and "Jewish Chess Masters on Stamps."

***Books the librarians showed during the segment***

"What's wrong with my snake?: a user friendly home medical reference manual" by John Rossi (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/07/24/ whats-wrong-with-my-snake/)

"Jewish chess masters on stamps" by Felix Berkovich (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/09/11/ a-philatelists-dream/)

"Do-it-yourself coffins for pets and people: a Shiffer book for woodworkers who want to be buried in their work" by Dale Power (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/07/22/ a-grave-matter/)

"Dee Snider's teenage survival guide: or how to be a legend in your own lunchtime" by Dee Snider with Philip Bashe (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/06/19/ house-of-hair/)

"Knitting with dog hair: a woof-to-warp guide to making hats, sweaters, mittens, and much more" by Kendall Crolius (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/10/14/ sweaters-from-rover/)

"Gary Coleman, medical miracle" by the Coleman family with Bill Davidson (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/10/30/ diffrent-strokes/)

"A passion for donkeys" by Elisabeth D. Svendsen (http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/ 2009/07/17/ passion-for-donkeys/)

---

From blogspot.com:

We had an absolute blast on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show this week. Behind the scenes of the show is really interesting. Here's the scoop!

First, we met with the segement producer, Josh, several times throughout the day. We also met with one of the show's researchers, Gianni. Each time we met, the bit was refined a little more. We started out with 20 or so books, and "weeded" (ha!) them down to the final 7 or 8 choices. The producer was great about asking us how we were feeling, if we had any concerns, and letting us weigh in on how it was all going to happen. They made us feel so comfortable and even pep-talked us a bit.

The afternoon rehearsal was the first time we were out on the actual stage. They wired us up with microphones, and Josh played the part of Jimmy Kimmel for the purpose of rehearsal. They explained everything to us, from how we would come out on stage, which chair was for each of us, and that Dominic Monaghan would be staying on the stage too. There was some speculation that he was bringing a real snake, so I'm sure that was a big reason why they chose to keep the book "What's Wrong With My Snake" in the pile. Of course, Dominic didn't need a rehearsal, so it was just us and Josh and the crew for that.

A few interesting things that I realized during the rehearsal: First of all, the stage and set are actually much bigger than they look like they would be when you are just watching the show on TV. However, it actually seemed kind of small to me. The desk Jimmy sits behind is pretty small, and the stage really isn't that big either. My husband got to watch the rehearsal from the audience seats, and he thought it all looked pretty big, but from my spot on stage it didn't. Of course, when lights are shining in your eyes and you are focused on not tripping on your way out, you really don't notice the true scale of things.

What I did notice, though, was that the seats we were to sit in on stage were nice and firm. Even though they were cushioned, we didn't sink into them at all. The problem with that was that if I sat in the chair like a normal person, my feet did not reach the ground. Seriously. That's why, if you watch the video back, you will notice I'm kind of perched on the edge of my seat. It's the only way I could sit and have both feet on the floor. I was then conscious of my posture, so I sat up pretty straight, since I was kind of on the edge of the seat. Not so comfy, but at least I didn't look like a doll with my legs sticking straight out!

After rehearsal, Josh and Jimmy watched back the video (of the rehearsal). We were led back to our dressing room, where Gianni ordered California Pizza Kitchen for us. We were pretty hungry by then, so that was nice. When Josh came back, he said that Jimmy was laughing through the whole video. He had made the final decision about which books to use (a few more were cut) and which order to put them in. For some reason, when we were doing the rehearsal, I explained that the snake book teaches one how to relieve their snake's constipation. It was funny at the time, but I never expected them to ask me specifically to tell that story on the air that night. Again, if you watch back the video of the actual show, you can hear Jimmy ask me if I have read that book, and I (sheepishly) tell the constipation story again. Josh, the producer, said I didn't have to if it made me uncomfortable, but hey - we were there to be on a comedy show. Apparently constipation is funny. Sorry, Mom (who hasn't seen the video yet, and who will probably cringe a bit when we get to that part!)

So, while this all sounds very scripted, the show was actually very spontaneous. The producer encouraged us over and over again throughout the day to say whatever came to mind, to give anecdotes about the books, and to be as natural and conversational as possible. We did not know what Jimmy was going to ask us when we were doing the show for the live audience. That was all very off-the-cuff. Jimmy Kimmel is so easy to talk to, though! He seemed genuinely interested in our web site and amused by the books. He laughed easily, talked easily, and it all felt very natural. Mary and I have heard from so many people that we seemed very relaxed and natural on stage, but it was just very easy to be that way.

An hour or so before the show (which tapes at 7:00pm Pacific time), we were led up to the hair and makeup department. Mary went first, and since the other chair was occupied by Aunt Chippy (Uncle Frank's wife...watch the whole episode if you don't know who they are!), Gianni took me on a little tour of that part of the building. There are monitors outside of the rooms they tape various pre-taped segments in, and we could see Giarmo taping something that involved having white paint rolled onto his face (again...watch the whole episode for clarification). They do a lot of green screen taping, which is interesting. I met the co-head-writers for the show, and saw where catering is laid out for the staff. It was Uncle Frank's birthday, so a lot of people were in the hallway waiting for cake to be delivered. Then it was my turn for hair & makeup.

Let me explain something. I HATE having my hair done, and I don't wear makeup. This was absolute torture for me. The women who did us up were awesome - I just don't enjoy that kind of thing. But, they did their thing in about fifteen minutes' time. Stage makeup is really heavy and looks horrible up close. While I was in the hair & makeup chairs, several more of the cast came in and out. Giarmo came in to wash off the white paint, the band leader came in for makeup, and some other people I never identified.

We went back to our dressing room and got dressed for the show. When we left for hair & makeup, the Green Room was fairly empty. When we came back, it was very full of all kinds of people! I asked Gianni who all those people were, and he said that they were staff of the show, friends of the band, friends of Jimmy, but he really didn't know who most of them were at all. Apparently Jimmy Kimmel has an infamous Green Room that everyone wants to hang out in. Our dressing room was just off of the Green Room, so after we got dressed, we went out to the Green Room for drinks.

We watched the show on the TVs in the Green Room, and then Josh came for us and led us back stage. He explained that they were running a little short on time for the segment, so we were going to be seated on stage during the commercial break rather than walk out after our introduction. When they came back from break we would already be sitting there. They also cut out a bit of the chit-chat before the books were presented.

When it was time, they led us out on stage. We shook hands with Dominic Monaghan and I asked if I could pet his snake. He let Mary and I both pet it quickly, and said we were much braver than Jimmy (who wanted nothing to do with the snake!). Then we shook hands with Jimmy Kimmel and sat down. When the commercial break was over, the introduction to the segment began and the interview started.

I really did not feel nervous at all. It's pretty strange, really. I mean, I have spoken to some fairly large audiences, and performed on stage in piano recitals and band concerts most of my life. I've never really experience true stage fright. (Just lucky, I guess!) Jimmy was so easy to talk to that it felt like having a conversation with anyone. We were warned to not look at the audience or the cameras when we had our rehearsal (something I struggled with during the rehearsal, actually!). During the show, it was a lot easier to focus on Jimmy. Having Dominic on stage piping in now and then was great too. It just seemed like friends talking about funny books.

The segment ended and they went to commercial again. We had a quick photo taken on stage with Jimmy (which I will post as soon as they send us a copy), and then we were led out to where the musical guest plays. The band for the night was Los Lonely Boys. They play on a separate stage, so the whole audience has to move from the chairs to a stand-up concert-type arrangement on the floor in front of the stage. We were warned that this particular band was going to be pretty loud and that we could use the ear plugs they offered us if we wanted to. (I really didn't think they were that loud, but then again I've seen Kiss, Disturbed, and a bunch of other pretty loud bands many times. Side note: the loudest concert I have ever been to is Fleetwood Mac. True story!)

While the band was playing, Mary leaned over and asked me if that was Huey Lewis standing next to her. It was! After the song was over, we were introduced to Huey during the commercial break. They moved Dominic (who was standing next to me, playing with his snake), Mary, and I to the other side of the bar we were standing behind. Jimmy stood next to us and the camera/lights turned back on. He said all his thank-you's to that night's guests, and then Los Lonely Boys played another song.

That's it! Back to the Green Room to hang out for a while! This was an amazing experience, and so fun. The whole day was fun, but the actual show was the best part.

Case Study No. 1269: Tun Hussein Onn Librarian

OPAC
2:02
Terminator Vision Effect storyline
Tags: Opac1
Added: 4 years ago
From: s3ngjai
Views: 108

Widecut Productions
Presents
Online Public Access Catalog
OPAC

[scene opens with a young man wearing a suit and standing outside, as he lifts his cellphone up to his ear]
VOICE: [over the phone] I want that book.
[cut to inside the Tun Hussein Onn Library, as the man slowly walks past the reference desk (where a male librarian is helping a group of patrons) and puts on a pair of sunglasses]
[cut to the man's POV (as the screen takes on a red hue, similiar to the T-1000's optic processor from the "Terminator" films) as he surveys the patrons sitting at a nearby table while "Criteria: 123 XFC GHQ 498 680 RGT" flashes across the screen]
[he zooms in on one male patron looking at a computer, as "Visual Dell Monitor 19-Inch" flashes across the screen]
[he continues scanning the table, as "Visual Library Chair Color-Blue" and "Visual Computer Table Size-Medium" flash across the screen]
[he scans another patron ("Visual Human SCT-BMSY"), then "Accessing - Object Not Found" flashes across the screen]
[cut to the man walking down the stairs (still from his POV), as "Scanning 123 987 AKZ 735 451 CKJ 289 103 BAE 498 201 CCK 251 289 THS" flashes across the screen]
[cut to the man standing in the stacks, then back to his POV as he scans the shelves ("Accessing XFC 1234 786 TED 1324 712 YCQ 1347 813 YUL 2547 244 DUK 2147 894")]
[he continues scanning the stacks, as "Visual Book Shelf Lower Ground" and "Visual Books-3D Modeling" flash across the screen]
[he continues scanning the stacks, then "Accessing - Object Not Found" flashes across the screen]
[cut to the man standing in front of one of the bookshelves, when a young boy runs up behind him and grabs a book]
[cut back to the man's POV, as "Visual Little Boy Standard 6" flashes across the screen]
[cut back to the man, as the young boy runs off camera]
[cut back to the man's POV, as he continues scanning the books on the shelf ("Visual Child Psychology, Author - Brickman")]
[cut back to the man, as the little boy comes back and grabs another book off the shelf, before running off camera again]
[cut to the little boy returning once again and grabbing another book off the shelf, except this time the man holds up his hand to stop him from running away]
TERMINATOR: [whispering] How do you find books so easily in here?
LITTLE BOY: [whispering] That's easy, I use OPAC.
[cut to the boy sitting at a computer terminal, as the man stands behind him and watches]
LITTLE BOY: All you have to do is click here ...
[cut to a closeup of the screen, as a search box appears under "Quick Search"]
LITTLE BOY: [from off camera] And search for the book you want.
[he types in "Project Management" and then clicks the "Words" button]
LITTLE BOY: [from off camera] And then click here.
[the search results screen appears, and he clicks the "Details" button for "Information technology project management" by Kathy Schwalbe]
[cut back to the man looking over the little boy's shoulder]
TERMINATOR: [whispering] I see. Thank you very much.
[he gives a thumbs up (which the boy returns in kind), then cut to the man sitting alone at the computer terminal, as he slowly removes his sunglasses and begins typing]
[he clicks on the mouse, then smiles, as "OPAC Simple and Easy" appears on screen]

Case Study No. 1268: Unnamed Female Librarian (SNLstar)

Jack Nicholson IMPRESSION Prank Calls the Library, BEST EVER!
2:15
Funny - Funniest video ever of Jack Nicholson prank calling the Library. Who needs a soundboard when you can do the best impression ever!

Subscribe for all of the FUNNIEST VIDEOS on YouTube!

Watch in HD for best picture.

Also follow me at

http://www.my space.com/ 553136835

http://www.face book.com/pages/SNLstar/ 134895996546776

http://twit ter.com/snlstar

Thanks for all of the support, it means so much to me.

Sincerely,
SNLstar
Tags: Jack Nicholson Anger management Jack Nicholson adam sandler funniest videos fail SNL comedy prank lights phone call hidden camera star hilarious best impression impersonation look like look-a-like funny ever real life awesome Saturday night live top rate great greatest alfa calls commercial romeo juliet satire Awards: Academy Award for Actor The Shining One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest As Good as It Departed funniest videos funny video funy video public prank prank calls Streep
Added: 3 years ago
From: SNLstar
Views: 3,640

["Hot Librarian" appears on screen, as the scene opens with a man calling his local public library while doing a very suspect "Jack Nicholson" impersonation]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Hello, can I help you?
JACK: Uh, yes ma'am. How are you?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay.
JACK: Uh, could I ask who it is that I'm speaking to, please?
[the librarian's name is edited out]
JACK: Uh, hello. Uh, just so happens you're the one I was wanting to speak to. I was hopin' I could get a hold of you ... Uh, got a question for ya, and I was wondering if you could just be so kind as to answer it for me.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay?
JACK: Uh, I had been checkin' out something there at the library, and I wanted to check on availability, and I was hopin' you could let me know if it's available or not.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] A book?
JACK: Actually, I was ... talkin' about you.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Oh ...
[she laughs]
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] No, sorry.
JACK: I betcha never heard that one before, have ya?
[she laughs]
JACK: Uh, I felt kinda clever makin' that up. I'd been plannin' on askin' ya, but I get a little shy in person, and I thought askin' you on the phone would be a little bit more appropriate. That way, I wouldn't completely lose it, ya know?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Well, it's awfully sweet, but I'm not available.
JACK: Uh, you're married, then ...
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Yes, sir.
JACK: Alright. Well, uh, just honestly I'm a cold old man and I honestly ... bluntly put, I thought you were a rather hot librarian, and y'know.
[she laughs]
JACK: Just, uh--
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Well, thank you, and you have a nice day, okay?
JACK: Alright. We can't leave the other at home with the babysitter, now can we?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] No, not at all.
JACK: You sure? Nothing ... We can't go out to dinner? Catch a movie if one were happen to be runnin' away from us?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] No, not at all.
JACK: Okay ... No walk under the stars, or candlelit dinners, or late-night chats, I assume? All that's outta the question?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Uh, completely.
JACK: Okay. Well, you can't blame a guy for tryin', now can ya?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, you have a good day.
JACK: Alright. Thank you, and I'll be in from time to time. I just hope it's not awkward now.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Okay, it won't be. Don't worry.
JACK: Alright. Well, thank you.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [over the phone] Bye bye.
JACK: Okay, I love you.
[she hangs up]
JACK: Goosfraba ...
["Sub for the latest pranks, parodies, impersonations" appears on screen]

Case Study No. 1267: Pam Margolis, the Unconventional Librarian

About moi.
0:59
my intro video about me unconventional librarian
Tags: PammyPam Unconventional
Added: 1 year ago
From: pb15205
Views: 25

[scene opens with a young female librarian (brown hair, glasses) speaking directly to the camera (which displays a "Paris" overlay)]
PAM MARGOLIS: Bonjour, everyone! My name is Pam ... Now wait! Before you turn off the video, and say "Who is that white lady on there?"
[she points to herself]
PAM MARGOLIS: It's me, PammyPam, AKA the Unconventional Librarian! Here I am, in my room. I'd show it to you, but ... I don't want to. Here I am, in my room, in my special place. My bed, with my favorite bathrobe! Nobody's here.
[she points off camera]
PAM MARGOLIS: I kicked them all the heck out ... No, wait! Actually, I'm in France, because you see that Eiffel Tower? Yeah. I'm in France here, minding my own business, in my bed, wishin' I was drinkin' some vodka and orange juice. So, here you have it.
[she moves her hands next to her face]
PAM MARGOLIS: Hey, that looks kinda nice, doesn't it? Here you have it, my "About Me" video ... Check it out!

---

From unconventionallibrarian.com:

I love books; especially children and YA books. I have a BS in English Writing, a post baccalaureate certificate in Elementary Education, and a Master's degree in Library and Information Science. I am a certified elementary teacher and a certified library media specialist.

What makes me an unconventional librarian? Well, I look at books from a multicultural perspective. Books need to represent our society: African American, Asian American, Hispanic American, etc. I feel that many popular books still ignore these populations.

An Unconventional Librarian is not only a curator of multicultural resources but I blog, I party, I write, I model, and do basically anything that your traditional librarian doesn't do; including work at a library. I currently work in an independent book store! Being a librarian focuses on helping people find information. We provide a service to our community. My community happens to be the internet and the world.

Three things you will always find me with are: a cuppa coffee, a book, and my iPhone for using Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. I love social media and I love to share and stay connected. I am an information specialist, maven, connector. Locally I connect with other smart social media minded women through Philly Social Media Moms and Girls Lunch Out.

I am building a Harry Potter collection to enter the record books and I think being a little silly never hurts.

Building pluralism one book at a time.

As of January 2013, my focus will be YA and children's books.

Case Study No. 1266: "Saving the Shy Librarian"

MisfitChris - Saving the Shy Librarian
2:33
-MisfitChris: http://www.my space.com/ misfitchrismuzik
-Artwork by Gabrielle Shea and Tristan Corrales
-Download: http://www.ii music.net/ catalog/2011/03/ misfitchris-famicom-sessions
-License: http://creative commons.org/ licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/
Tags: MisfitChris Saving the Shy Librarian Famicom Sessions II Pause II56 chiptune CreativeCommons
Added: 2 years ago
From: Corporatocracy
Views: 2,054

From bandcamp.com:

Saving The Shy Librarian
from Famicom Sessions Special Edition by MisfitChris

The origin of "Famicom Sessions" dates back to September 2009. On a chilly autumn evening, MisfitChris was introduced to Famitracker by fellow musician Tristendo Corrales. It was on this evening that Chris began writing what is now known as Famicom Sessions. A collection of experimental NES jams that document Chris's first year of composing Chipmusic.

Case Study No. 1265: Hichigo Shirosaki

Kira's Corner: HichiIchi Reading
14:41
Fanfic: Sexy Librarian by Tiana Misoro
Image does not belong to me
Tags: hichiichi
Added: 1 year ago
From: haruxkyo888
Views: 466

From wikia.com:

Hichigo Shirosaki is the fanmade name for the "Bleach" manga/anime character Hollow Ichigo, a powerful entity that was created when Ichigo Kurosaki (a Shinigami) developed a Hollow inside his soul (during his near Hollowfication as a Plus).

Hollow Ichigo (more properly called "The Hollow within Ichigo's conscience," "White Ichigo," or "Dark Ichigo") was created by Tite Kubo and made his first appearance in the "Bleach" manga Volume 13, Chapter 110.

The character of Hichigo Shirosaki shares all of the same basic characteristics of Hollow Ichigo (a fairly tall and lean-built being with white skin and hair, black pupils and white irises), except that his personality often changes to fit the parameters necessary for each individual fanmade story.

The character of Hichigo Shirosaki has appeared in fan fiction stories on the internet, as well as fan-published doujinshi stories and manga. In yaoi inspired works, Hichigo Shirosaki is often paired with Ichigo Kurosaki in homoerotic role-playing fantasies (often written by female authors); these pairings are sometimes abbreviated as "Hichi/Ichi."

---

From fanfiction.net:

Sexy Librarian Author: Tiana Misoro
Ichigo can't stay away from the library due to a certain, pale skinned librarian that's caught his eye. What he doesn't know is that he's not the only one with a crush! Random, smutty one-shot for CrystalMoon23
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Dark Ichigo & Ichigo K. - Words: 6,113 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 11 - Published: 05-13-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6989044

Honey brown eyes stared out the dirtied window of the bus as an orange haired teen pressed his forehead against the cool glass. Toying with the strap to his black and teal messenger bag, Ichigo bit down on his bottom lip as the bus began to slow down, preparing to stop. Excited butterflies danced in the pit of his stomach when a large, white brick dome-roofed building came into view. The large gold letters, set above the red painted doors, glimmered in the warm sun. Taking his eyes off of the building when the bus came to a full stop, the air brakes letting out a slight hiss, Ichigo quickly flung the strap for his bag over his shoulder. Next to him a teal haired male, who had been sleeping, cracked open a hazy cyan eye to glare at him for the sudden movement.

"Sereitei Library." The bus driver's monotonous voice crackled over the intercom, just as Ichigo moved to stand up. The teal haired stranger let out a groan, tugging a pair of headphones out of his ears as he hugged the briefcase in his lap close, moving out of the orange head's way. Ichigo gave the man a sheepish smile before heading up the narrow aisle. As he reached the front of the bus, the driver's emerald green eyes locked with his through the mirror, and the man gave him a small nod of recognition. Giving the other a sharp tilt of his head, he hurried down the steps and onto the waiting sidewalk outside.

Ichigo watched the sliding doors close before the bus was moving again, and he stared at the building across the street from him. It had become an almost daily ritual for him to ride the same exact bus at the same exact time to get here, well besides Sundays that is. Fixing the strap of his bag, he glanced both ways before crossing the street. The butterflies in his stomach twisted into screeching hawks the closer he got to the building, and he could feel his face already heating up.

Taking a deep breath, Ichigo's hands paused over the brass handles on the doors before pushing them open. The cool blast of air conditioning felt good against his skin, but it couldn't quell the blush that was slowly creeping up to his ears and down the back of his neck. His footsteps clicked against the polished marble floor as he walked up to the large, mahogany desk set in the middle of the library. Nut brown eyes were rooted on the man behind the desk, and his breath hitched when shimmering gold on black eyes glanced up over the top of a pair of black, thin rimmed glasses. A neatly trimmed white brow cocked in amusement as the librarian leaned back in his chair, offering the orange head a small smirk, and Ichigo couldn't help but stare at the single black hoop resting at the corner of the albino's lower lip.

"Back again, I see."

A shiver trailed up and down Ichigo's spine as the librarian's silky baritone played against his ears, making his face burn even more. Coughing slightly, he diverted his gaze to the floor as he scuffed the toe of his shoe against the marble. A slight chuckle came from the librarian as he lifted a pale, black nailed hand, pointing towards a small circular table a few yards away.

"Figured you'd be back, so I kept your usual table open for ya." Liquid gold eyes sparkled with mirth as the orange head nodded, fumbling with the strap to his bag.

"T-Thanks..." Ichigo murmured before turning his back on the librarian, making his way towards the table. He refused to look behind him, missing the heated gold on black eyes trained on the subtle sway of his hips.

Dropping his bag onto the top of the table, Ichigo ran a hand through the tangled mess of orange spikes on top of his head as he wandered towards one of the bookshelves close by. He had to find something to keep himself entertained.

Most people went to the library to study, or to catch up on their reading, but for Ichigo it was different. Ever since he'd stepped into the library a few months ago, intent on finishing a term paper, only to find that the strawberry blonde named Rangiku had transferred to another library, his world had been turned upside down. And the cause for that change sat comfortably in the black leather chair behind his desk, pale fingers flitting over the keyboard to his computer.

Picking up a random book, Ichigo pretended to read the summary on the back, instead glancing at the pale librarian out of the corner of his eye. At first he hadn't been sure of what drew him into the albino, but as time went on, it became quite apparent that he had a crush on the man who went by the name of Shirosaki Ogichi. It was that crush that had him coming back a few days a week, but that soon turned into an every day thing. He just couldn't stay away.

Ichigo jolted when the pale librarian suddenly slammed his hands down onto the top of his desk before pushing his chair back and standing up. He couldn't help but to trail his gaze over the other's form as the man stepped around the desk, snatching up a stack of books off of the smooth surface. It had to be a sin really, for someone to look that damn good. Brown eyes slid up from the polished black dress shoes, up long legs covered in black dress slacks that hugged that lethal rear end deliciously. A charcoal gray dress shirt clung to the albino's upper body, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, revealing the intricate tribal tattoo that wound up his left arm. A crimson silk tie had been tucked under the collar of the shirt, the only bit of shocking color to the whole ensemble. Snowy white hair sat in a disarray of spikes that Ichigo would give anything to be able to run his hands through.

Diverting his gaze when the librarian began to make his way over, pausing here and there to place the books back onto their rightful shelves, Ichigo slowly made his way back to the table. Slouching down into one of the chairs, he opened the book. The letters on the page were nothing but black scribbles that he was unable to read due to his mind swarming with images of a certain librarian. It was maddening really, having a crush on a man that he'd never really talked to other than the common pleasantries, but he couldn't seem to stop. Sundays were hell for him, having to go a whole day without seeing Shirosaki.

Groaning softly, Ichigo blinked his eyes a few times, trying to focus. He didn't really care what he was reading, but he had to make it look believable. He didn't want the albino knowing that he showed up everyday just to oogle at his ass as it swerved between the shelves. Hanging his head, Ichigo bit down on his lower lip out of agitation. How could one man make him act like this? It was utterly insane!

A deep chuckle had his head snapping up, turning to glance over his shoulder. Hazelnut eyes widened to find the pale librarian standing just behind him, a devious little smirk on his lips as his teeth tugged at his lip piercing.

"Didn't take ya for one ta read somethin' like tha'." The pale librarian stated, pointing a finger towards the book gripped extremely tight in Ichigo's hands. Furrowing his brows, the orange head shut the book, turning it over to glance at the title. A black and white photo of a woman holding a smiling baby with the words 'The Joys of Motherhood' printed in bright yellow letters shown make at him, making his face flame in embarrassment. How had he not realized that he had picked up such a thing? Oh that's right, he was too busy staring at the sexy demon now standing entirely too close as he leaned over to snatch the book out of Ichigo's hands.

Inhaling sharply, the orange head's eyes fluttered briefly at the heady scent that assaulted him. The musky scent of the librarian's cologne did nothing to mask the natural dark, almost spicy scent that the man exuded. Shivering slightly, Ichigo glanced up through his bangs to meet the almost glowing gold that was fixed on him. Shirosaki crooked a finger, smirking devilishly.

"C'mon, lets find ya somethin' else ta read." The albino stated, his smirk widening to show off a set of pearly white teeth. If at all possible, the blush that sat on the apple's of Ichigo's cheeks deepened as he nodded shyly, pushing his chair away from the table as he stood up. The librarian said nothing as he led the orange head through the shelves of books, giving the other ample time to stare at his ass.

Swallowing thickly so as not to drool all over himself as his mind began to conjure up images of what lay beneath those tight slacks, Ichigo didn't notice that Shirosaki had stopped moving until he slammed face first into the albino's back. Gasping slightly, he stumbled back, face aflame as he took in the sly grin that morphed onto the pale man's face.

"Uhhh...I-I...s-sorry." He muttered, lowering his gaze to stare at the floor. Fuck, he really had to get a hold of himself before he started acting like a blushing high-school girl. A gasp flew from his mouth as a smooth, black nailed finger hooked under his chin, forcing him to lift his head. He could only gape at the librarian who offered him a coy smile as he tilted his head.

"Don't worry abou' it. No harm done." The albino practically purred, making shivers dance along Ichigo's spine as the other stepped closer to link an arm around his shoulders. He couldn't believe his luck. First he makes a fool out of himself, and now the center of all of his desires was touching him. Karma worked in some fucked up ways. "I think you'll find these books more to your likin'." The librarian stated after a moment of silence, making Ichigo's brow scrunch in confusion before he remembered what was actually going on.

Nodding, he slowly and reluctantly stepped out of the albino's warm embrace to glance over the large shelf of books. His eyes lit up when he realized that Shirosaki had brought him to the Mystery section, one of his favorite things to read. Stepping closer to the shelf, he let his fingers trail lightly over the binding of the novels, before stilling completely as warmth erupted against his back.

"Here, this is one of my favorites." Shirosaki's voice murmured into his ear, and Ichigo trembled at the warm breath that washed over the side of his face. The pale man was standing entirely too close, that broad chest brushing against his back as they albino reached over him to pluck a book off of one of the shelves near the top. Ichigo shakily took the book when it appeared in front of his face, holding it close to his chest as he turned to face the albino.

Burning gold locked with honey brown briefly before Ichigo's gaze lowered to watch the librarian's tongue peak out to run across a snowy bottom lip. He didn't notice the other shifting closer, too entranced watching the other's mouth. His own tongue felt like a wad of cotton, sticking to the roof of his mouth, making it entirely too difficult to speak. He jolted when the tips of silvery white locks brushed against his forehead, and he swore he'd been engulfed in an inferno. The warmth in his cheeks was practically burning his skin as he stared at the albino's mouth as it twisted into a seductive grin. Oh shit!

"Umm, Shirosaki-san?"

Whatever trance had taken over the two snapped like a brittle twig at the timid, girlish voice. Turning, both eyed the petite, mousy haired brunette stand near the end of the bookshelf, her gaze lowered and a light pink dusting the bridge of her nose. Complete mortification took hold of Ichigo like an icy winter wind. He could only image how they must look in the young girls eyes.

"Tsk, yes Hinamori?" The pale librarian growled, making Ichigo's eyes widen. Why did he sound so agitated? Turning to face Shirosaki, he found the man's lips thinned out into an annoyed scowl as he cocked an eyebrow towards the small girl.

"I...f-finished categorizing the new s-shipment, and you said to f-find you when I was d-done." The girl practically squeaked out, her face turning crimson as Shirosaki moved away from Ichigo. The pale librarian shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks before giving a nonchalant shrug. Turning to head down the aisle, he glanced over his shoulder, eyes flashing over to the shell-shocked orange head before turning towards the woman.

"Che, well then let's get this over with." He grumbled, turning to give Ichigo a wink. "Hope ya enjoy tha' book as much as I did." He added, before heading towards the front of the library, Hinamori following closely at his heels after giving Ichigo a sideways glance.

Leaning back against the bookshelf, Ichigo tried to get his breathing back under control. His heart was practically doing the tango against his ribs, pumping way too much blood to certain regions of his body. Groaning, he ran a shaky hand through his hair as he made his way back towards his table. Peaking at the front desk as he took his seat, he watched Shirosaki glancing through a large stack of papers while the petite girl stood off to the side. His heart fluttered when he caught golden eyes turn to glance in his direction, a small smirk touching pale lips, making him blush madly before turning to open the book in his hands.

Damn, he really had it bad.

Shirosaki let out a tired sigh as he finished locking the front doors to the library. The sky was dark outside, the only light coming from the dim sconces that lined the walls of the building, along with the table lamp that rested at the corner of his desk. Running a hand through his hair, he tucked the gold plated key back into his pocket before turning to survey the room. He made sure everything was in the right place before his gaze fell to the figure sprawled out over the top of one of the small tables fast asleep. Burnt orange locks seem to come alive with color as the lights flickered around the silky strands. Smirking coyly to himself, Shirosaki loosened his tie as he made his way over towards the slumbering figure.

Pale, black nailed fingers slid through the mass of orange spikes, tracing the smooth skin at the other's temple as his gaze flitted over the enticing creature. Pouty pink lips were parted slightly as he breathed, looking all too moist and inviting. Thin orange brows twitched as a whispered moan flitted past the orange head's lips, making Shirosaki's grin widen. Oh, he knew about the orange head's little crush on him. Had known from the very beginning. No one went to the library that much unless they were either a pasty little nerd with horrible acne and thick glasses or a homeless bum looking for a place to sleep, and this man was neither. He had to give the orange head props for at least trying to make it look like he was reading, but he could feel that sex hungry gaze burning against his skin, and it took every last bit of control he had to stop from tackling the damn tease onto the nearest flat surface. His control had slipped momentarily when he was helping Ichigo look for a new book. The feel of that lithe body so close had his desire spiking out of control.

Shirosaki's hand gripped tighter around orange locks as his thoughts began to make heat swirl in his groin. Leaning over the sprawled out form, he pressed his lips against a lightly tanned ear, enjoying the way the boy's breath hitched in his sleep. Flicking his tongue out, he swirled it around the shell of the orange head's ear before whispering heatedly, "C'mon berry, time ta wake up."

Standing upright again, with a large grin on his face, he watched hazy ochre eyes blink open. The orange head yawned slightly as he shifted in his seat, stretching slowly, and Shirosaki took the chance to hungrily devour that gorgeous body. The boy's clothing was tight against his skin, leaving barely anything to the imagination, but he'd enjoy peeling every layer off to get at the warm skin beneath.

"Nngh...w-what?" Ichigo's smooth baritone mumbled as he lowered his arms, confusion marring his face as he glanced around. Resisting the urge to laugh, the albino instead cleared his throat. A large, devious grin split onto his face when surprised eyes turned towards him, and he relished in the deep blush that began to seep into tan cheeks.

"Closin' time." He managed to mutter out after a few moments, shaking his head slightly. He had to keep his cool together or else he was going to scare the orange head, and he'd scamper off like a frightened little rabbit. The blush on Ichigo's face darkened as he began to fumble with his things before standing up.

"O-Oh, sorry...L-Let me just put this book a-away..." He stuttered, flushing madly as he snatched up the book and began to make his way towards the shelf it belonged on, missing the heated gold on black eyes watching him as the pale librarian licked his lips.

As he wandered through the aisles of books, Ichigo tried his best to quell the heat eating at his face. Fuck, he hadn't meant to fall asleep. He wasn't sure how it had happened. He remembered being engrossed in the book that Shirosaki had pointed out to him called NightStalkers; a love story about a human and a vampire and the hardships that challenged their relationship. But, after that, he couldn't remember a thing until he had been woken up by his crush.

Shaking his head, Ichigo rose onto his tip-toes, trying to slide the book back onto the shelf, only to find that he couldn't quite reach. "Here, let me help." A silky voice whispered into his ear, black nailed fingers trailing up the bare skin of his arm before reaching the book and giving it a slight push until it slid into the open slot. Ichigo remained rooted in his spot, eyes wide and unseeing as the albino's heat washed over him. Why had Shirosaki followed him?

"I've seen you, ya know." The librarian's voice murmured into his ear, causing the hairs at the nape of his neck to stand on end at the feel of those petal soft lips moving against his skin. Ichigo shivered when the other's hands trailed over his arms as he stepped closer until their bodies were practically pressed together. "Watchin' me...you're not very discreet abou' it."

Ichigo froze as Shirosaki's words processed in his mind. He knew? How was that possible? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Blushing deeply, Ichigo was putty in the albino's hands as he was turned to face the other. Shirosaki was way too close for his comfort, making it impossible to find his voice or to keep his cool.

Shirosaki smirked, snaking an arm around the startled orange head's waist, pulling him closer. Ichigo's hands immediately pressed against his chest, not pushing him away or pulling him closer. It didn't matter to him one bit, he'd have the orange head against this very bookshelf if need be.

"I-I...d-damn..." Ichigo managed to get out after swallowing the large lump in his throat, only to have it come back when the albino leaned forward to brush their noses together.

"Don't try ta deny it, Berry. It would ruin my fun." The albino purred, watching honey brown eyes widen in confusion as the orange head gnawed on his bottom lip. Lifting his hands to grip the shelf on either side of Ichigo's head, he grinned wolfishly when pink lips parted in a gasp. Taking the invitation, he leaned forward, sealing his mouth over the orange head's in a heated kiss.

Case Study No. 1264: Staff of Unnamed Library (Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay)

Kumar Meets Vanessa At The Library Scene From H&KEFGB
3:42
This is the scene where Kumar meets Vanessa at the Library and they smoke in the Library and kiss at the end.
Tags: harold and kumar movie funny go to white castle escape from guantamo bay square root of
Added: 3 years ago
From: nokturnalmortom666
Views: 139,269

[the camera quickly pans across a college library, catching glimpses of students and library staff walking amongst the stacks, when it stops on a young Kumar sitting at a table trying to do his homework]
[the camera pans back to reveal a group of his peers sitting at the table behind him, listening to loud music on their radio ... frustrated by the noise, Kumar starts to yell]
KUMAR: Excuse me, please!
[he turns to the other students (one of whom is reading a copy of "High Times" magazine]
KUMAR: Will you turn that off? This is a library!
[the students just laugh at him, so he angrily grabs his things and heads for a study carrel]
STUDENT 1: [from off camera] What a fucking chode!
STUDENT 2: [from off camera] Thank you, come again!
[he sits down and tries to concentrate, but hears a female voice yelling from the opposite carrel]
VANESSA: What the fuck!
KUMAR: Oh my god!
[he stands up to confront her]
KUMAR: You know, the whole reason people come to the stacks is for some peace and ...
[he calms down when he actually gets a look at the source of the yelling]
KUMAR: Quiet.
[the attractive female student looks down at her notes apologetically]
VANESSA: I know, I'm sorry. I hate it when people disturb me here, too. It's just this fucking calculus final is killing me!
[he goes over to her side and looks over her shoulder]
KUMAR: Do you mind if I take a look?
VANESSA: No ...
[he looks at her notebook]
KUMAR: You're actually very close ... May I?
VANESSA: Yeah.
[he tries to move her hand to take her pen, and accidentally brushes up against her shirt]
KUMAR: [pause] I touched your breast.
[she laughs]
VANESSA: It's okay.
KUMAR: Sorry ...
[he starts writing out an equation]
VANESSA: Wow. You're good at this.
KUMAR: Thanks.
VANESSA: What did you, like, take calculus in high school or something?
KUMAR: Actually, my dad taught it to me in sixth grade.
[she laughs]
VANESSA: What are you, like Doogie Howser?
KUMAR: No. Although that would be incredible. He's my hero ... I love that show.
[she looks at the paper in his hand]
VANESSA: What are you working on there?
KUMAR: This is just a poem for my creative writing class. It's like, um--
[she grabs it out of his hand]
KUMAR: Oh, um ...
[she starts reading, then laughs]
VANESSA: "The Square Root Of Three"?
KUMAR: No, no, I'm sorry ...
VANESSA: "A poem of love by Kumar Patel" ...
[he grabs it away from her]
KUMAR: I need this!
VANESSA: Hey, let me read it.
KUMAR: No, no.
VANESSA: Why?
KUMAR: Because it's lame.
VANESSA: Then read it to me.
KUMAR: There's no way I'm letting you see me in that light. Good luck with your calculus.
[he goes back to his seat, but she follows]
VANESSA: Come on, don't be embarrassed. You know, a lot of girls find intelligence sexy.
KUMAR: Look, I'm not ... I'm not even gonna be showing this to my professor, all right? That's why I'm so stressed out right now.
VANESSA: Stressed out, huh? Come with me.
[she grabs his arm and takes him behind the stacks]
KUMAR: [whispering] Where are we going? What?
[she takes a cigarette lighter and a joint out of her pocket]
KUMAR: [whispering] You're smoking drugs in the library? What if somebody catches us?
VANESSA: [whispering] Don't worry. It'll help you relax.
KUMAR: Oh, boy ... It's illegal!
[she lights up and blows smoke in his face, as he uses his paper to try and fan it away from him]
VANESSA: Here.
[he takes it and slowly inhales, then starts violently coughing]
KUMAR: This is poison!
VANESSA: Here, lemmee help ya ...
[she takes another puff, then pulls him in and starts kissing him ... when she's done, Kumar exhales the smoke and smiles]
KUMAR: I'm Kumar.
VANESSA: Vanessa.
KUMAR: You're still not reading that poem ...
[he leans in and kisses her again]

---

From themoviespoiler.com:

"Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" (2008)

Kumar and Neil Patrick Harris talk about Vanessa when we flash back to how it all started. Kumar was a total nerd and Vanessa was a punk. They met up in the library where Kumar helped her with calculus. Kumar was trying to write a poem which he writes about the square root of three. He refuses to let her see it. They then go off to an aisle where she gives him his first joint. Kumar doesn't like it so she inhales, then kisses Kumar. This is probably why Kumar likes weed so much. It reminds him of Vanessa. They start making out in the library and a younger (punkier) Harold walks past them. NPH talks about his love that got away and decides they should head to a whore house.

Case Study No. 1263: Unnamed Female Librarian (Treasure Box)

Adventure Movie : TREASURE BOX (2011)
15:05
A short silent movie using facial and bodily movement to express more in movies.
This movie is about two special agents (John Smith & Matt Kirby) catching a bad genie (Matt Webster) who has hypnotise a librarian (Susie Akehurst) and kidnapped a woman (Gill Gurman).
Filmed by Peter Morrissey
Tags: Treasure Box Short silent deaf film Sign Movie Sign Language Drama Action Adventure Comedy Quest
Added: 2 years ago
From: PeterMorrisseyFilms3
Views: 844

[scene opens in the Upper Bell Inn (apparently long abandoned), where two cowboys holding flashlights are looking around ... when one spots a "genie" (i.e. a man in a suit and bowtie) calmly sitting in the corner watching them]
[the older cowboy taps the younger one on the shoulder, causing him to spin wildly around and shine his flashlight right in the older cowboy's face]
[annoyed, the older cowboy smacks him on the hat, then looks down at the younger cowboy's white sneakers (causing him to sigh and shake his head in exasperation)]
[cut to a closeup of the younger cowboy's face, as he looks at the genie and bites his finger in fear]
[cut to the genie, who uses "mind control" to cause the two cowboys to "fight" each other (i.e. make weird faces and try to slap each other)]
[the older cowboy steps on the younger cowboy's foot (breaking the genie's concentration?) then karate-chops him in the throat, knocking him off camera]
[the genie jumps to his feet, then he and the older cowboy begin "fighting" ... as the younger cowboy sneaks up behind the genie and karate-chops him in the back of the neck]
[cut to the genie falling to the floor, then to a closeup of his face as he slowly raises his head and his eyes "glow" bright white]
[cut back to the cowboys, as the older cowboy throws open his duster coat and reaches for his belt (as if to pull out a gun) ... the younger cowboy does the same, and (after comically struggling with his belt) pulls out a wooden box from behind his coat]
[the older cowboy holds up his "weapon" (which turns out to be a small horn) and blows into it, as the younger cowboy opens the box and white lighning jumps out towards the genie]
[cut to the genie, who tries to hold onto his chair as the lightning hits him and "sucks" him towards the box (like the ghost trap in "Ghostbusters") ... but the force is too much and he eventually lets go]
[cut to a closeup of the genie's hand, as it "disappears" into the box]
[cut back to the two cowboys (with both of their hats blown off), as the younger cowboy slams the box shut while the older cowboy stops playing his horn]
[ominous music plays, as the camera zooms in on the box in the younger cowboy's hands]

Treasure Box
with
John Smith
Matt Kirby
Susie Akehurst
Matt Webster
Gillian Gurman
Paighton Gibson
Morgan Helene

Directed by
Peter Morrissey

[cut to a closeup of a gloved hand holding a golden pocketwatch, opening it to check the time, and then closing it]
[cut to the unknown person (the camera cuts off his head) standing on a sidewalk at nighttime, as he uses a cane to begin walking towards the camera]
[cut to a closeup of a mailbox, as the gloved hand stuffs a large envelope inside]
[cut to a shot of the person's back, as he slowly walks away]
[cut to the daytime, as a mailman carries a stack of envelopes (including the one from the unknown person) to a house and rings the doorbell]
[cut to an older female librarian (short brown hair, glasses, green sweater, checkered skirt) signing for the envelope]
[cut to the woman alone, sitting on her couch, as she opens the envelope and pulls out a book (with "Devon and Cornwall - J.L. Blair" written on the spine)]
[she briefly glances at the book, then looks in the envelope again and pulls out a tattered map of St. George's Channel in Cornwall]
[cut to the librarian (now wearing a hat and trench coat) standing on a beach in Cornwall, as she looks at the map before placing it in her pocket]
[cut to the librarian using a metal detector along the beach, when she stops over a large rock]
[she removes a collapsible shovel from her pocket (almost as if in a trance), then begins digging]
[cut to the librarian lifting the treasure box out of the sand, as she opens it and removes the old cowboy's horn]
[cut back to the librarian's home, as she holds up the horn and stares at it]
[the lights suddenly start to flicker, so she takes the horn (and the box) and places them on a nearby windowsill]
[cut to the librarian sitting down with another woman (long red hair, black dress) when she gets up to leave]
[cut to a closeup of the woman (with a look of concern on her face), as she leans forward in her chair]
[cut to the woman walking down the hallway (concerned that the librarian has been gone so long?), when she enters a room and looks around]
[she stops and stares at something off camera, then cut to a closeup of the box and horn still sitting on the windowsill]
[cut to the woman walking up to the two items and picking them up, placing them on a nearby chair]
[cut to a closeup of the woman's face, as she picks up the horn and blows into it]
[cut to a closeup of the box, as the woman slowly runs her hands over it before opening it up]
[the box glows bright white, then cut back to the woman's face, as a green hand reaches up from off camera and grabs her by the throat]
[the screen quickly cuts to black, then changes to an outdoor scene as two young boys do an elaborate handshake before walking off into the woods]
[cut to the two boys stopping in front of a signpost, where they rip off a piece of paper and stare at it in confusion]
[cut to the two boys sitting on a pair of tree trunks, as the camera zooms in on the piece of paper lying on the ground, which features a picture of the red-headed woman ("Missing! Have you seen this woman? Please contact police - 01784738290")]
[cut to the librarian's front door, as an unseen person bangs on the door]
[cut to inside the librarian's home, as the genie (calmly sitting in the chair reading a copy of "Porsche Post") looks up towards the source of the noise]
[he sighs, then the librarian walks in and he stares at her (as his pupils "glow" with electricity)]
[she nods, then slowly walks towards the door]
[cut to the front door opening, where the unknown person has his back towards the camera, as he turns around (revealing himself to be the older cowboy)]
[cut to the librarian (with a blank expression on her face) holding the door open, as the cowboy tries shaking her by the shoulders and waving his hands in front of her face ... to no effect]
[he enters the house (as the librarian slowly follows behind him), then stops in the room and looks at the chair (now empty)]
[he sighs, then turns his head and stares out the window]
[cut to the genie standing alone outside in the front yard, staring back at him]
[cut to a closeup of the cowboy's face]
[cut to a closeup of the genie's face]
[cut back to inside the house, where the young cowboy is now suddenly standing next to his compatriot]
[cut back to the front yard, as the genie lifts his right hand and makes the "come bring it" motion towards them]
[cut to the two cowboys marching side by side out into the librarian's front yard]
[the camera pans around behind him, showing the genie standing his ground (waiting for them)]
[cut to a shot of the genie (hands in his pockets), as the cowboys walk up and get mere inches from his face]
[cut to the three of them "fighting", as the genie is able to knock the older cowboy off balance, then focuses his "attack" on the younger cowboy]
[the younger cowboy eventually steps on the genie's foot (giving him the opportunity to run away), then the older cowboy rushes back in and continues his "duel" with the genie (i.e. countering forearm strikes over and over)]
[the older cowboy eventually steps on the genie's foot, then gives him a karate chop to the neck, knocking him down]
[cut to a closeup of the genie's face, as he grits his teeth and snarls at the camera]
[cut to the two cowboys standing above their fallen foe, as the older cowboy pulls back his duster coat and pulls out a cricket bat ... the younger cowboy checks his coat in frustration, so his partner reaches into his pocket and pulls out a (much smaller) cricket bat for him]
[the younger cowboy nods in appreciation, then the older cowboy lifts his bat and brings it down towards the ground ... but there is a flash of white light, and the genie is suddenly standing behind them]
[he grabs them by the shoulders, so the older cowboy gives a nod to his young partner ... who responds by tapping the genie lightly on the forehead with his miniature bat (sending out a spark of white light and knocking the genie out instantly)]
[cut to a closeup of the two cowboys, as the younger one smiles over his victory ... until he notices that the handle on his bat broke off, so he starts fidgeting in embarrasment (which also causes him to not see the genie get up and sneak away off camera)]
[the older cowboy does see the genie escaping, so (after giving the younger cowboy a dirty look) he hands him a baseball]
[the younger cowboy nods, then steps back and pitches the ball (now suddenly glowing white) to the older cowboy, who hits it with his cricket bat]
[cut to the genie walking away, as the ball hits him in the back of the head, covering him in white lightning as he falls to the ground]
[the younger cowboy jumps for joy and holds his hands up in the air (as if signalling a touchdown), while the older cowboy pumps his fist]
[cut to the two cowboys pulling out their original weapons of choice (the box and horn), as they again perform their "capturing" ritual (and the force of the box's power again blows their hats off)]
[cut to the genie trying to get away, but he is continually pulled back towards the box]
[cut to a closeup of the genie's hand, as it again disappears "into" the box]
[cut to the two cowboys, breathing heavily, as the younger one slams the box shut while the older one stops playing his horn]
[they look at each other and nod, as the older cowboy places the horn into his pocket ... then he reaches into another pocket and pulls out a flask]
[he takes a big swig, then hands it to the younger cowboy (who takes a drink himself), before taking the flask and placing it back into his pocket]
[the younger cowboy then hands the box to the older cowboy, who nods and places it under his arm]
[cut to a closeup of the two cowboy hats sitting on the ground, as they both pick them up and place them back on their heads]
[they dramatically whip back their duster coats, then walk off camera]
[cut to the librarian (back in her hat and trenchcoat) walking around outside her home, when the younger cowboy stops her and "slaps" her across the face]
[cut to a closeup of the librarian, as (having been snapped out of her trance) she begins to cry and buries her face in the cowboy's shoulder]
[cut to the younger cowboy (stone-faced) as he pats the librarian on the back, then the older cowboy enters the scene and he nods]
[as the younger cowboy continues to comfort the librarian, the older cowboy walks off (with the box still under his arm)]
[cut to the older cowboy walking through the woods, when the two boys see him approaching and (balling up their fists) walk menacingly towards him]
[cut to the two boys sneaking up behind the cowboy, who turns (but they are able to hide before he notices them)]
[cut to a closeup of the "missing woman" poster, still lying on the ground]
[cut to the missing woman in a darkened room, holding a candle and nervously looking around]
[she suddenly screams, then the same sound effect that played when the genie was being captured can be heard, as the candle blows out (signifying that the woman is still trapped in the box that the cowboy is carrying?)]

Written and directed by
Peter Morrissey

Catcher
John Smith

Cowboy
Matt Kirby

Librarian
Susie Akehurst

Genie
Matt Webster

Lost Woman
Gillian Gurman

Boy 1
Paighton Gibson

Boy 2
Morgan Helene

Delivery Man
Peter Morrissey

Camera/Editor
Peter Morrissey

Casting/Make-up
Susie Akehurst

With thanks to
Medway Deaf Club
for their contribution

A special thanks to
David Akehurst
for the location

Morrissey & Akehurst Films
2011

---

From bbc.co.uk:

Treasure Box (2011)
John Smith, Matt Kirby, Susie Akehurst, Matt Webster, Gill Gurman, Paighton Gibson, Morgan Helene and Peter Morrissey.
Another film about futile attempts to stop evil powers beyond their capability.