Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Case Study No. 0872: 3 and 4

9 Movie Clip - The Library - Tim Burton, Shane Acker, Elijah Wood - High Quality - HQ
2:23
http://www.pearlanddean.com/ ?node_id=1.2.1& id=9397
Academy Award-nominated director Shane Acker teams up with two of the worlds most visionary filmmakers, Tim Burton (The Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) and Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted, Night Watch), to bring a totally unique and visually stunning animated fantasy epic to screen.




When the small rag doll 9 (The Lord of the Rings Elijah Wood) first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the landscape intent on doing them harm. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good. They must take the offensive if they are ever to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. What follows is a sublime, heartwarming adventure where this most unlikely of heroes leads his troops into battle and, along the way, discovers that a band of miniature warriors may be the last hope for humanity.
Tags: Movie Clip Trailer Tim Burton Shane Acker HQ John C Reilly Jennifer Connelly Christopher Plummer Crispin Glover Pearl and Dean Pearl & Dean Nine
Added: 3 years ago
From: PearlandDean
Views: 47,772

[scene opens as the three stitchpunks enter the ruins of an old library (filled with giant stacks of decaying books), as 7 runs ahead of the others while 9 stops and uses his lightstaff to look at a landscape painting]
NINE: Is this ... what it was like?
SEVEN: [from off camera] Keep up!
[the camera zooms out to show the desolation of the empty library, with its shelves knocked over and books strewn across the floor, as 5 and 9 crawl through the debris and enter a large room]
[cut to 7 inside the room waiting for them, as he stands in front of a large book (filled with newspaper clippings) in the middle of the room, when two new stitchpunks peek out from behind a glass jar containing the mummified remains of a snake]
FIVE: [surprised] They've been here, the whole time?
[he goes over to hug them]
NINE: Twins ...
[at the sound of his voice, the twins try to hide behind 5 and 7]
SEVEN: They've been hiding here, lost in the past. Looking for answers.
[the twins suddenly run over and begin "studying" 9, their eyes flashing as if recording him on film ... although he reacts unfavorably when they poke him in the stomach]
NINE: Oh!
[5 and 7 laugh]
SEVEN: They're cataloging ...
[one of them undoes the zipper on the front of 9's body, as he quickly tries to "cover up"]
NINE: Whoa!
[they suddenly notice his lightstaff, and 9 lets them unscrew the lightbulb, which they immediately begin fighting over to see which one gets to catalog it]
[cut to a closeup of 7 as she addresses the twins]
SEVEN: We need your help. We ... awakened something.
[9 steps forward and stops her]
NINE: No. I awakened something ... Something terrible.
[startled, 3 and 4 "converse" with each other (not with sounds but by flashing light into each other's eyes) before rushing off to the book and turning the pages until they stop at one titled "The Machine"]
NINE: That's it!
[3 and 4 pull a rope attached to the page, activating a system of pulleys which lifts all of them to the corresponding shelf high above ... once the "elevator" stops, the twins jump off and grab a newspaper with the headline "Amazing New Invention - Glorious Leader Promises Progress Through Technology"]

---

From byui.edu:

9 (2009). After all human life disappears from earth, a group of rag dolls comes alive and fights for survival against machines intent on their destruction. The mute twin dolls 3 and 4 live in an old library. They devise an ingenious system for finding information: they fill a book with pictures and scraps of articles, then connect the page with a string that leads to the information on the shelf. They also conveniently have projectors as eyes so they can replay information.

---

From wikipedia.org:

3 and 4 are curious but shy twin brother stitchpunks. They are unable to speak, instead using flickering lights in their eyes to communicate with each other, but when they need to explain things to someone else; 4's eyes turn into film projectors. They instinctively run and hide at the sight of danger. Both wear hoods, for they are made of garden gloves, and have a cape-like empty thumb hanging from their backs. They are both very scholarly, voraciously cataloging everything they can see and find, recording and building a massive database of the world that surrounds them and the history that led up to their creation. They are very playful, and intelligent. After the Scientist created them, they playfully romped around his workshop and read all of his books. They treat 7 as a sort of elder sister. They are both somewhat smaller than the others, and can be told apart by their numbers; 3 is slightly taller than 4, and 4 has a small blue dot on his left thigh. They, along with 9 and 7, are the surviving stitchpunks.

Case Study No. 0871: "Naughty Librarians Convention 2008"

Naugty Librarian Convention 2008 -- Readings
0:16
San Francisco, CA
Tags: naughty librarians convention reading san francisco california library
Added: 5 years ago
From: cheesebikini
Views: 336

[two female "librarians" are sitting on stage, as a man stands over them and reads from a book]
READER: "She opened her legs, and regarded me, as she had in high school. I felt a wave of deja vu, but it passed. She lowered her head into my straining pelvis, and spread my labia ... "
[the audience laughs]

---

From laughingsquid.com:

Cheesebikini just tipped us off about the upcoming Naughty Librarian Convention planned for this Saturday, March 8th at the world famous Ha-Ra Cub in San Francisco. Get ready for some sexy literary action.

Here are the details:

Naughty Librarians' Convention 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
2:00 PM

Ha-Ra Cub
875 Geary Street
san francisco, California 94109
Category
Education
Description

Librarians are the new nurses and it's time to break out your bookish booties for the sake of something hot: reading!

Dress as a sexy schoolmarm, a libidinous librarian or a prurient professor and meet up at 2 p.m. Saturday for prim and proper cocktails at the Ha Ra club in the Tenderloin.

From there we'll head to the San Francisco Main Public Library to put our libidinous librarian mojo to work. Hosted by Princess Honeybee.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Case Study No. 0870: "March of the Librarians"

March of the Librarians
4:59
Didn't you wonder where your librarians disappeared to last January? Ten thousand of them were in Seattle for an American Library Association convention, and I was there to capture the bizarre congregation on video.
Tags: march librarians ala convention midwinter 2007 seattle
Added: 6 years ago
From: nnnicck
Views: 192,351

March of the Librarians
Seattle, 2007

[various shots of librarians mulling about the Washington State Convention and Trade Center are shown]
NARRATOR: Twice a year, tens of thousands of librarians make a trek across the United States to a meeting of the American Library Association. How they know to congregate in the same spot, no one knows. They come to learn, to network, to collect free stuff, and possibly to mate.
[cut to a shot outside the Seattle Public Library, then to various librarians inside the building]
NARRATOR: They came to Seattle this year, drawn by the shiny new Seattle Public Library.
[cut to a LexisNexis sign hanging inside the convention center]
NARRATOR: They are also drawn to the library vendors, who occupy the exhibit halls of the Seattle convention center.
[cut to more vendor booths (such as WorldCat and ProQuest) inside the convention center]
NARRATOR: The vendors have several tactics for luring unwitting librarians into their clutches ...
[cut to a table filled with coffee mugs]
NARRATOR: They may use coffee ...
[cut to two people dressed in giant cat outfits at the Baker & Taylor booth]
NARRATOR: Mascots ...
[cut to Oscar (a talking robot at the Emery-Pratt booth) shaking a librarian's hand]
NARRATOR: Gimmicks ...
[cut to a woman dressed as a Jedi, followed by a man (?) dressed as an Imperial Stormtrooper]
NARRATOR: And even costumes ...
[cut to a man at one of the booths as a female librarian walks by]
NARRATOR: Here is a hungry vendor looking for a meal ... And here comes a likely-looking librarian.
[the man doesn't seem to notice her, and she walks right past him]
NARRATOR: But his attention is elsewhere. Looks like he goes hungry today.
[cut to more footage of librarians walking around the convention center]
NARRATOR: After observing these noble creatures for some time, certain patterns become apparent.
[cut to several shots of male librarians with beards]
NARRATOR: There are the male librarians, often sporting fabulous facial plumage, perhaps in an attempt to attract a mate.
[cut to several shots of librarians pulling rolling bags behind them]
NARRATOR: There are the tote-rollers, who use bags on wheels to collect their vendor goodies.
[cut to another shot of the crowd of librarians gathering around a booth]
NARRATOR: And, if you look closely, you might even spot a hipster librarian or two in the crowd.
[cut to more footage of librarians walking around the convention center]
NARRATOR: The convention is not all hustle and bustle. The librarians spend hours waiting in line for the necessities of life ...
[cut to a line forming outside of an espresso bar]
NARRATOR: Such as coffee ...
[cut to a line forming outside of a sub shop]
NARRATOR: Food ...
[cut to a line forming outside of an internet cafe]
NARRATOR: And email ...
[cut to more footage of librarians walking around the convention center]
NARRATOR: After four days of networking, dodging vendors, collecting goodies, and possibly mating, the librarians are tired and ready to return home. In six months, they will descend on a new city, and the strange ritual will unfold again.

Filmed on location in
Seattle, WA at the
American Library
Association
MidWinter Conference
2007

Created and Narrated by Nick Baker

Inspired by March of the Penguins

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library" - Jorge Luis Borges

---

From davidrothman.net:

Short documentary film parody of March of the Penguins about the natural behavior of Librarians as they instinctually gather together twice annually.

Shot at ALA MidWinter 2007 in Seattle and put together with obvious care and good humor by Nick Baker.

Case Study No. 0869: Brian the Shouty Librarian

Shouty Librarian
2:02
This is one of RPL's submissions for Cengage Learning's "Out-of-the-Box" marketing contest. Wouldn't you love to compete in the Shouty Librarian Game Show? Wish us luck!
Tags: library librarian game show books reading book marketing out-of-the-box contest
Added: 5 months ago
From: RochPubLibrary
Views: 448

["The Shouty Librarian Game Show" appears on screen, then cut to a male librarian exiting his car in the Rochester Public Library's parking lot and shouting directly at the camera]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: I am Shouty Librarian, let's do this thing!
[he pumps his fist, then cut to the entrance to the library, as he stands outside (still shouting at the camera)]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: I am the Shouty Librarian, I will solve your problem in thirty seconds or the cash is yours!
[cut to a female patron walking up to the patron]
PATRON 1: I don't know what type of digital camera to buy.
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: Consumer Reports' here, available online! Libraries are rated top one in consumer unbiased information confidence! Get in the library!
[he points at the door, as the patron walks in, then another female patron walks up to the librarian]
PATRON 2: I wanna be creative with my kids.
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: We have an art room right here! Your kids can be the next Van Gogh! You're Van Gone, get in the library!
[he points at the door, as the patron walks in, then a male patron walks up to the librarian while holding his cellphone]
PATRON 3: I need to learn Spanish on the plane, tonight!
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: We have downloadable language apps! You can put 'em on your phone and learn the language on the plane! Get your apps in the library!
[he points at the door, as the patron runs into the library]
PATRON 3: Yes!
[another male patron walks up to the librarian]
PATRON 4: My kids gave me a Kindle or a Nook or something ... I don't know how to get a book on it.
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: We can download books right onto it, and if you don't like that, you can get a real book and lie to your kids and tell 'em you downloaded it! Get in the library!
[cut to inside a parking garage, as a woman exits her car while speaking into her phone]
WOMAN: It's no big deal, I mean--
[the librarian suddenly appears (holding a wad of cash in his hand) and jumps in front of her, startling her]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: It's Shouty Librarian, invading your personal space! Meet the challenge, get the cash! Head to the library after your challenge!
[he points off camera, as the woman nervously returns to her phone conversation]
WOMAN: I have to go, there's some librarian guy here ...
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: Go to the library challenge!
[cut to the woman inside the library, climbing up and down a metal step stool]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: Only a hundred more steps and the cash is yours!
WOMAN: I don't think I can do this!
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: You can do it! You can do it!
[cut to two other women outside of the library, racing against each other while pushing bookcarts down the sidewalk]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: Go! Go! Go! Cash is on the line!
[cut to the librarian in his car]
SHOUTY LIBRARIAN: Let's get some people into the library!
[he drives off, as the scene fades to black]

Rochester Public Library
Giving you something to shout about!

Credits
Director ... Heather
Shouty Librarian ... Brian
Contestants ... Ally, Andy, Chris, Emily, Heather, Keri, Kim

Camera, Sound ... Jon
Original Music ... Paul
Editing ... The Bookworm

Lighting by the Sun
Sound effects by the traffic
The End

Case Study No. 0868: Phil Shapiro

Oh Metadata!
3:00
I shot this music video in the public library where I work in Takoma Park, Maryland. The melody is the old spiritual, "Oh, Happy Day." Thanks are owed to the Benson Family of Bethesda, Maryland, who joined me on the vocals and Scott Stead who did a great job on the video edit. http://www.scottstead.com

This video was shot using the iSight video camera on my MacBook.

http://www.twitter.com/ philshapiro

For more playful videos on YouTube, see

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=l4QsZfN44iE

For some of my thoughts on metadata, see

http://tinyurl.com/ 3x2kf2

For some of my thoughts about public libraries, see
http://tinyurl.com/ 92buqz

For some of my other thoughts about public libraries, see
http://www.his.com/ pshapiro/ communitycontent.html

http://www.twitter.com/ philshapiro
Tags: metadata public library music video takoma park oh happy day spiritual bensons scott stead livetype
Added: 3 years ago
From: pshapiro
Views: 10,828

Oh, Metadata!
by Phil Shapiro
and The Bensons Family
(of Bethesda, Maryland)

Musical Director (and bongos)
John Benson

Vocal Director
Paula Benson

Vocal Backup
Bernie, Maria, and Lisa

Video Production
www dot scottstead dot com

Contact Info
pshapiro [at] his dot com
www dot twitter dot com slash philshapiro

---

From pubcom.com:

My friend Phil Shapiro's latest video is a hoot and a half.

Phil just released his latest YouTube video, "Oh Metadata!" with music by the Benson Family.

Phil is a good colleague of mine and a well-known digital media guru who currently works at my town's local library in Takoma Park, MD, a suburb of metropolitan Washington, DC.

Phil himself is a hoot and a half, but you'll figure that out when you see his video.

After an intern at my studio saw the video he commented, "That's fantastic. But what IS metadata?"

Here's the answer, as well as my guidelines on how to use metadata to improve your chances of finding your documents...and of having search engines find them, too.

What IS metadata?

Metadata is data about data.

I know that sounds like a smartass answer, but it's really true. It's data that is embedded into a file that describes the rest of the data in that file.

Usually the person who is viewing the file doesn't see the metadata, unless the document's properties are shown.

But search engines like Yahoo, Google, and Bing read metadata and use it to help catalog your file in their databases and retrieve the file when someone searches for a topic listed in your metadata and file.

So having metadata in your file is a good tactic for search engine optimization (SEO).

Metadata is also used by the search utility on your computer. If you searched for "blue widgets," the search utility will check the metadata of your files to see if "blue widgets" was included as a keyword, in the subject, or in the title of a document.

So metadata can help you find your long-lost files on your computer and also on your organization's file server, too.

If you use Adobe's Bridge software to view and manage your photos and other digital media, metadata helps Bridge organize your files.

And that's what Phil Shapiro's video is all about. Phil works at our local library so he's always looking for something! Metadata is his friend. *grin*

As the video says, "Metadata, you help me find what I need to know."

---

From mail-archive.com:

i was visiting a family i know this afternoon and asked, "hey, do you want to help me record a new song?" they said, "sure, let's go for it."

the youth in this family wrote the lyrics of the song with me. then we all recorded this in apple's garageband software -- bundled for free with new macs. the bongo drums were later added by a middle school student in this family.

it was a fun constructivist learning project. i had no idea where this song was going when we started, but it seemed to be heading in a fun direction.

i've posted the song temporarily on the web at

http://www. writersforliteracy.org/ ohmetadata.mp3

this song is being distributed under a creative commons license - Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0.
(i.e. use it for any nonprofit purposes you like.)

i'll be uploading it to the internet archive (archive.org) for its more permanent home. (and maybe submitting it to the itunes music store via cdbaby.com)

- phil

lyrics and chords appended below for those who might be interested.

i can't wait until one of the youth in the family gets asked by a teacher, "does anyone know what metadata is?"

they could honestly answer: "well, i'm one of the persons who composed and sang the song 'oh metadata.'"

Oh, Metadata

Oh metadata, oh metadata,
Oh metadata, oh metadata,
You help me find, you help me find,
You help find, you help me find,
What I need to know.

When I had lost,
My precious files,
You gave then back to me.

Oh metadata, oh metadata,
Oh metadata, oh metadata,
You help me find, you help me find,
You help me find, you help me find,
What I need to know.

My files were lost,
Oh they were lost,
But now they're found,
Now they're found.

Oh metadata, oh metadata,
Oh metadata, oh metadata,
You help me find, you help me find,
You help me find, you help me find,
What I need to know.

I don't know what,
What I'd do,
If I did not,
Did not have you.

Oh metadata, oh metadata,
Oh metadata, oh metadata,
You help me find, you help me find,
You help me find, you help me find,
What I need to know.

Oh metadata, oh metadata,
You help find,
You help find,
You help me find,
You help me find,
You help find,
You help find,
What I need to know.

By Phil Shapiro and The Front Porch Singers

Friday, March 22, 2013

Case Study No. 0867: Samuel

Let's Play - Fable III [HD] Part 7: Brightwall
14:43
Happy Halloween, and we are back, in Brightwall, to collect some treasure, shake some hands, and then go the Academy, where we meet the Librarian. And then begin our journey into the Reliquary.
Tags: GameAnyone.com Game Anyone Fable III Fable III Three Albion Fantasy Third Person Action Lionhead Studios Microsoft Game Studios Xbox360 Xbox 360 Video Walkthrough Playthough PC Peter Molyneux Sandbox Sword Hammer Rifle Pistol Gun Magic Gauntlet World Adventure Dog Treasure Fight Combat Death Rated Role Playing game RPG HD Commentary
Added: 2 years ago
From: FrederichSchulz
Views: 2,534

["A New Hero: Find the librarian in Brightwall." appears on screen, as the hero enters the library in Brightwall Academy]
SAMUEL: [from off camera] The library is closed by order of the King. We don't serve drinks. We don't sell chicken feed. Please leave before the soldiers suspect you of gaining any real knowledge.
[the hero walks up to the front desk (where the male librarian has his head buried in a book and doesn't notice his entrance), so he clears his throat, as Samuel looks up in surprise]
SAMUEL: Sweet papyrus! A real visitor!
[he composes himself]
SAMUEL: I'm afraid I was speaking the truth. King Logan has closed the Academy. I'm little more than a custodian these days.
[the player selects "Show the Guild Seal."]
SAMUEL: By the holy bookmark! The Guild Seal. I haven't seen it since the old Hero King last came here. Then you are ... ?
HERO: The prince, yes.
SAMUEL: Oh my ... Uh, please, come this way.
["A New Hero: Follow the librarian." appears on screen, as Samuel leads the hero down the stairwell]
SAMUEL: Your father told me that one day a challenger bearing the Seal would come seeking entrance to the Reliquary, but I never imagined it would happein in my lifetime.
[they enter a room which features a large locked doorway]
SAMUEL: It was he who founded the Academy, of course ... I have often wondered how he would react to see it in its present state.
["A New Hero: Open the door to the Reliquary." appears on screen, as Samuel stops in front of the door]
SAMUEL: Here we are. I can't tell you how many of our researchers and professors have studied this door, hoping to unlock its mechanism. But I knew there was only one thing that would ever open it.
[the player selects "Open the door?", and the hero places the Guild Seal into the door, unlocking it]
[cut to the hero descending the staircase into the Reliquary, as "A New Hero: Find your father's treasure for Sabine." appears on screen]
[the hero checks one of the bookcases in the first room]
NARRATOR: This bookcase is crumbling under the weight of unread tomes.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: A compendium of what look to be magical tomes, written in some long-lost language.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: Nothing interesting to read here.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: A series of books detailing the horrid, prophetic nightmares of the mad monk Silvestre Magus. The final one is simply called "Darkness Descends on Albion."
[the hero opens a treasure chest on the ground]
NARRATOR: You have a dog training book! Interact with your dog, and then press up on the [control stick] to use it.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: This bookcase contains several tomes on the subject of physical violence, from stabbing someone with a fork to gouging their spine out with a lettuce.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: Just an old bookcase.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: These books have grand, long names, but don't appear to have been read. Well, would you read something called "The Superannuated Properties of Perpendicular Toenails"?
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: A large collection of necromantic books. A dark aura surrounds them. Or is it a cloud of spores from a musty fungus?
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: This bookcase contains a complete set of "Cooking for Hobbes." The pictures are not pleasant.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: The complete works of bestselling author Meredith Sock. Once incredibly popular, now considered rubbish.
[the hero checks another bookcase]
NARRATOR: A set of arcane books full of dangerous and forbidden knowledge. Unfortunately, it also appears to be useless knowledge.
[the hero stops and picks up a book on a table]
NARRATOR: "How to be a Master Swordsman." An exceptionally rare book. It probably belongs in a library.
[the player leaves the room and explores further within the Reliquary, eventually finding the treasure ... a music box]
[the player selects "Pick up the music box?", causing a portal to open up in front of the hero]
THERESA: [from off camera] You have done well. Now, step into the light. There is much you need to know]
["A New Hero: Enter the portal." appears on screen, as the hero enters the portal and is transported to the Road to Rule]
THERESA: Congratulations, Hero. Touching the Guild Seal was an indication of what you could become. Reaching the music box has proven what you already are. No one but a Hero could have done it. You have begun to learn what powers you possess, and there is still greater potential within you. But you have only taken the first step in your journey. Albion is crying out for a revolution, and for someone to lead it. Winning supporters to your cause will be hard. Leading them against Logan will be an even greater challenge. But it's one you must accomplish.
HERO: I'll make him pay for what he did.
THERESA: This is not a matter of personal vengeance ... As long as your brother sits on the throne, Albion is in great danger. Open the music box. It will show you the truth.
[the player selects "Open the music box", which starts a cutscene where Logan is pacing around a map of Albion]
LOGAN: This is my Albion. Its cities will bow to my law, or they will burn. Its mountains will bend to my will, or they will fall.
[he runs his hand over the map]
LOGAN: [whispers] This is my Albion. Its people will do as I say, or they will die. Its future will be as I decree, or it will end.
[cut to a closeup of Logan's face]
LOGAN: I've seen what must be done, and nothing will stand in my way. We will be greater and we will be stronger, no matter what sacrfices we must make.
[he turns and lowers his head]
LOGAN: This is my Albion ... and I will see it destroyed before I surrender it.
[cut back to the hero standing on the Road to Rule]
THERESA: If any part of you still doubted the necessity of a revolution, you have your answer. The kingdom will face its own annihilation under your brother's rule ... Now, do whatever you must to gain your first ally, for you cannot lead a rebellion without followers. Sabine is a good man, and his people are strong.
[Theresa disappears, and the player opens several treasure chests before selecting "Leave Road to Rule", causing the Hero to materialize in front of Samuel at the front desk (badly startling him)]
SAMUEL: Blessed index cards, you made it! This is cause for great rejoicing. Albion has a Hero again ... If ever I can be of assistance, I will be honoured to serve you.

---

From wikia.com:

Samuel is a character in Fable III. He is the librarian in charge of the Brightwall Academy, and is one of the people the Hero must convince to join the revolution during the quest "Leaders and Followers".

Before the days of King Logan, Samuel worked as the librarian of the newly opened Brightwall Academy, which was opened by Hero of Bowerstone, the reigning Monarch. Sometime before their death, the Old Hero requested that Samuel help whoever carries the Guild Seal realise their destiny as a hero by giving them access to the Reliquary, a secret part of the Academy.

Samuel followed this duty faithfully for many years, until the Old Hero passed away and King Logan came to power. As one of his many acts during his reign, Logan closed down the Academy and shut it from the public. Samuel was left alone, caring for the books as he always had and despairing over the fact that he may not fulfil his duty.

However sometime in the future, the youngest child of the Old Hero, soon to be known as the Hero of Brightwall, had arrived in Brightwall. Thoroughly suprised, Samuel quickly led the Hero to the entrance to the Reliquary.

During the Hero's adventures, Samuel asked for the Hero's help in recovering 30 rare books for the Brightwall Academy.

Samuel later pleads to the King/Queen of Albion to re-open Brightwall Academy.

---

From fablewiki.net:

"The Pen is Mightier..." is a quest in Fable III that is given by Samuel the librarian, who asks the Hero to go around the world of Albion and collect rare books for Brightwall Academy.

There are 30 rare books in total to find. Once a book has been found the Hero will come to the book room in the library and place it on it's pedestal.

Completing this quest unlocks the achievement "Brightwall Book Club."

After finding 10 of the rare books, the librarian requests the Hero to find an even rarer book entitled "The Book of Mystery". After finding the book and exiting the dungeon in Mistpeak Valley there is a Gold Key for the Hero to obtain.

It is speculated there are 5 rare books the librarian will request for the Hero to find considering there is a small room off of the book room where there are 5 pedestals. There is also a golden door at the bottom of the Brightwall Academy dungeon. This door can be accessed by hitting a flit switch in the room where the first escort quest ends, revealing a new set of stairs that lead down to the door. The gold door grants access to The Prism.

Quotes
"From the moment we first met, I knew you were someone who understood the value of knowledge and learning! It's one of the things that sets you apart from your brother. As you know, King Logan closed the Academy and cut off our funding. Don't know whether he considered education a waste of time, or a threat to his power." - Samuel at the beginning of the quest

"We have many books here, but many more languish in obscurity. If they're not found, the wisdom could be lost forever!" - Samuel

Rare Books
* "AdventureQuest: A Select Your Own Endeavour Book"

This book (written by Montgomery Array) is located in Millfields, but the easiest way to find it is to visit Mourningwood and accept the Bored to Death quest, which will direct you to the exact location of the book. Shortly after you acquire the Normanomicon, you will encounter a group of Hollow Men. The "leader" of this attack will emerge from a small nearby crypt. The book is located within this crypt.

Contents: "Spending all they years of your young life on a small farm in a backwater county has made you restless. Who knows what flight of fancy or idle daydream first sparked your desire for adventure. But once ignited, the flames of wanderlust could not be extinguished - not even by the water of looking at things in more realistic terms and perhaps considering a career in excavation. Your parents tried to reason with you, but the protest of the old ring hollow in the ears of a strong-willed young farm boy or girl like you. And so now you stand at a crossroads. It's a nice one, with newly painted signs and a bench. If you want to head east, toward the ominous ruins, turn to page 2. To go west, towards the ancient forest, turn to page 4. To head north, toward the snow-covered mountains, turn to page 156. If you want to go south, which is back home, read this page again."

* "Alchemy and Immortality"

Inside of Bowerstone Castle, head upstairs and turn left until you reach the master bedroom. In the small adjoining room to the right, the book (written by Vivian Quicksand) can be found on one of the childrens' beds.

Contents: "Many have sought the Elixir of Immortality, the Secret Wisdom of the Ages, the Hidden Lore that the Emerald Tablet speaks of. Few have found it. And by few, I mean none, and by none, I mean one. And by one, I mean me. And by mean, I mean imply. Anyway-- I have found the elixir, and now everlasting youth is mine! At last, the ultimate dream I realised: to live for all eternity. In that time I will ponder the greatest questions... such as, do I stay my current age from now on, or could I actually be younger forever? And if so, how would that age be chosen? And will my body still change according to diet and exercise, or is there a sort of implied perfect health that goes along with the longevity? And what happens if I'm shot or I fall off a cliff, can that kill me? Am I only safe from a death by natural causes? And what about fertility? Will I be able to have children 10,000 years from now? Hmmm... I might actually need longer than eternity for some of these."

* "The Amazing Exploits of Baron Barnaby Beadle"

Climb the large stone stairs to the temple in Aurora and approach the altar inside. The book is on the right-hand side of the altar, near some candles.

Contents: "Balverines: I've killed fifty of them. With nothing but a rusty cutlass. The Moon: I've been there, in a great balloon. It's amazing and almost never rains. Spells and that: I know them all. Cuisine: Every dish ever prepared, I've eaten it. Inventions: That was me. I invented them. Oh and I wrote this book. Not impressed? You would be if you knew I was illiterate. And paralyzed. And blind."

* "Attack of the Killer Puffins"

This book (written by Dans Mourir) is found behind the Brightwall Furniture store on the window sill.

Contents: "None knew from whence they came, nor to whence they would go upon completing their terrible orgy of bloodshed. All that was known was that they came, and armageddon came with them. They killed everyone, and in unimaginably horrible ways. Ways that, even if they were imaginable, you wouldn't want to imagine them, believe me. Their rampage left the village decimated, and for generations the few survivors and their offspring could barely bring themselves to speak the name of that most terrifying of evils: 'Puffin.'"

* "Dangerous Things: Gunpowder"

This book (written by Dr Horatio Slacks) is located in the "Cesspools" subregion of Bowerstone Industrial. Fast travel to the Wobble-Fuddlebuck-Glimborg Mansion (located opposite the orphanage) and enter the Cesspools via the trap door on the first floor. (Note, prior to the Revolution, the trap door is locked/inaccessible unless you have already accepted the key as part of the Kidnapped side quest.) Walk through the hallway into the main area; the book is located atop a wooden table on the left-hand side, near the back end of the room.

Contents: "Gunpowder is the most destructive tool ever devised by Man. It has forever changed the face of warfare, allowing an untrained peasant to kill a highly disciplined, professional soldier with virtually no effort. Scholars have begun to speculate: could this formidable development destroy the concept of chivalry, perhaps even that of mercy? Only time will tell, and this troubling debate has only just begun. Also, gunpowder is used in fireworks to celebrate various occasions, and if you light off even a quite small one in your hand, it will hurt very, very badly. I cannot overstate how unthinkably horrible the pain is."

* "Dangerous Things: Industrial Machinery"

You will find this book at the base of the statue in the park in Bowerstone Old Quarter where the road curves up the hill.

Contents: "The rapidity with which industry has developed in Albion is nothing short of extraordinary. One need only visit one of Bowerstone Industrial's great factories to witness the majesty of modern technology in action. However, while visiting a factory one must be aware of one's surroundings. Stand too close to exposed machinery, and one could lose a finger or even an arm. Or a spouse. In what was ultimately ruled to be a regretable accident, wherein no party was at fault."

* "Dangerous Things: Ladders"

In Sandfall Palace, Shifting Sands, cross the bridge over the first section of water and take the small flight of stairs (heading down towards the sand) on your immediate right. The book is located on the left hand side railing, near some trees on the small beach.

Contents: "Ladders have myriad uses, being of great value if one needs to assault a castle or clean the gutters. However, whatever the task at hand, the climber should take care to ensure the ladder is properly balanced and safely angled, and that a third party is present to 'spot' the climber. Further, this 'spotter' should be carefull to stand on the outside of the ladder, not underneath, and should ideally move quickly out of the way in the event the climber accidentally drops a very large joiner's mallet. In retrospect, a more apt name for this treatise should have been 'Dangerous Things: Joiner's Mallets'."

* "Dangerous Things: Lightning"

When you enter Reaver's Manor in Millfields, go to the room to the left of the stairs and the book will be on the table near the windows. You will likely run across it during Reaver's Unmentionables or en route to the The Wheel of Misfortune quest.

Contents: "Getting struck by lightning is a very Bad Thing. Usually it'll kill you outright. You have a one in two million chance of being struck by lightning. The best defence is never to walk outside during a storm. Even safer-- don't go outside at all. Ever. Find a nice big building like an observatory and just hide in there."

* "Dangerous Things: Stargazing In Remote Areas"

In the game map, zoom to Driftwood and locate Giftwood, a turquoise caravan on the small island to the far left. Directly below Giftwood (near the beach) is the entrance to a mine, which is where you will find the book. Head inside and look for the book, which is sitting on a crate on the left-hand side of the mine. (Note: All of this assumes you have already unlocked Driftwood, completed Gift Wood for Driftwood, etc.)

Contents: "Remote Locations are ideal for contemplating the night sky, as there is generally little in the way of ambient light. However, these ideal viewing conditions may come at a price. Witness the occasion upon which I went stargazing in a particularly remote and forgotten graveyard. So absorbed was I with the magnificent spectacle of the heavens that when a figure approached, I assumed it was another admirer of the cosmos. I attributed his shambling gait to amazement at the majesty of the stars: his low moans to wonder. I began to pontificate on the constellation Quite Large Spoon Majoris, and when the newcomer did not respond, I lowered my eyes, only to have him attempt to put them out with a rusty pike clenched in his skeletal hand. He was largely unsuccesful in this endeavor, I am happy to report. Still, the episode was a bit unsettling."

* "The Extraordinary Homunculus of Baron von Orfen"

Locate the gazebo in the wooded area between the Demon Door and Sunset House. The book (written by Helen Flannel) is sitting on a park bench directly behind the gazebo.

Contents: "Baron von Orfen was a dabbler in the black arts, particularly alchemy. As a young nobleman, he applied a sample of his own blood, mixed with various alchemical substances, to a mandrake root and created a small, diminutive version of himself -- a homunculus. It was his dark aim that this creation would become a vessel for any ailment or malady which would otherwise plague the Baron himself. From that day forward, Baron von Orfen suffered no disease, no wound, no wart, nary any affliction at all. Thus it was that the Baron lived well past the age of eighty, until one day he accidentally knocked the homunculus into an alembic of powerful acid. There it promptly dissolved, and the horrified Baron, seeing this, steeled himself for the worst...but was fine. Turns out he just had a really amazing constitution."

* "Famous Killers: Carl Tendency"

This book (written by Mortimer Pain) can be found in the Reliquary inside Brightwall Village. Complete the quest An Ancient Key to reach a locked library within the Reliquary. It's on a stand in the corner.

Contents: "Carl Tendency was hunting with a friend when tragedy struck. Attempting to climb over a mossy log, Carl slipped and his rifle fired, the bullet striking his friend squarely in the chest. It was almost certainly an accident, but still he did kill him, so I'm well within my rights including it here. I guess, given the banality of the circumstances he wasn't really famous, but when this book comes out, he bloody well will be then."

* "Famous Killers: Terence Posture"

This book can be found Bowerstone Industrial inside The Riveter's Rest near the piano on a table.

Contents: "Terence Posture returned from work on an otherwise uneventful day to find his wife in bed with another man.Unable to control his rage, Posture leapt upon the couple with the firm intention of killing them both; however his hands found only one throat.When all was said and done, his wife lay dead, and the unknown adulterer had fled.I think I left one of my good shoes there, too."

* "Famous Killers: Xavier Smedley"

The book can be found in Chillbreath Cavern.

Contents: "Xavier Smedley is a unique entry in our rogues' gallery of famous killers, in that he is neither famous nor a killer. However, I have always disliked him, and it is my sincere hope that his very inclusion on this list will be seen by prospective romantic partners, their parents, or future employers and make his life diffcult. If he didn't want that trouble, he shouldn't have sat in my chair."

* "Famous Kings of History: King Cedric"

Locate the Wimpet's Sniffle caravan on the Dweller Camp portion of the map. (Upper right-hand side, on top of a hill at the end of a long trail/path.) The book (written by Phil the Historian) is located on a table inside.

Contents: "King Cedric the Just but Fair was a lover of the arts. He commissioned elaborate spectacles at his Palace, often with himself as the main performer. He particularly enjoyed shadow puppetry. When not on stage, Cedric introduced sever harsh and unorthodox legal reforms. During his reign, over seventy members of the aristocracy were executed -- three for treason, one for comspiracy, and sixty-eight for misidentifying the animal or thing he was depicting."

* "Famous Kings of History: Markus Ivy"

Travel to Brightwall's Ye Quill and Quandry pub by the front gate and demon door. The book is located on a bedside table of a small room on the second floor.

Contents: "Markus Ivy was the fourth ruler to be named Markus: however he believed this fact diminished his importance, so he insisted that the letters after his name were merely an oddly spelled surname. No member of his court ever took issue with this, partly out of fear of reprisal and partly because... well, how could you have that conversation and not have it be unbelievably awkward?"

* "Famous Kings of History: Old King Oswald"

It is located in Ossuary between the Golden Door and the bridge. It is on the railings of the last balcony before the bridge and after the Golden Door.

Contents: "Old King Osmond had a long and peaceful reign, but as he grew older, he became obsessed with his own mortality. Actually, first he was obsessed with someone else's mortality, but then he switched to his own. He had heard the legend of the fabled Elixer of Immortality, and the fables of the legendary Secret of the Ages, so he summoned many knights of the realm, and commanded them to go forth and search for the key to eternal life. So desperate was he that he decreed, 'Any knight to return without the Elixer shall be executed.' So none of them came back, and he died in due course. It was not one of Oswald's better decrees."

* "The Grasping Avarice of Kings and their Lackeys"

This book (written by George Clamp) is found in Bowerstone Market In side a House call "Dollhouse" on the second floor, on the bed. The house is located near the Millfield Enterance in Bowerstone Market.

Contents: "King Logan's greed knows no bounds! How cruelly does he fleece our citizens of their hard-won coin through his onerous and unjust taxes! And how cruelly does his lickspittle lackey, that rapacious dog,Reaver, harshly exploit his poor, unfortunate workers! The time has come for change, real change -- what we need is a democracy! I know, I know, I'm always on about republics, but I did some further reading and I really think democracy offers a pretty compelling package.Shake off the yoke of monarchy,good people, and join me in the glorious struggle to create a new democracy! Or a republic is fine if you really have your heart set on that,but I do think we'd be missing out on a few things. As usual, my offer to oversee all aspects of government during the transition is still on the table."

* "How to be a Crack Shot"

This book was written by Captain Arkwright, and forms a pair with How to be a Master Swordsman. It can be found in a ticket booth just outside of the Mistpeak Monorail Station (on the counter inside, near the cash register).

Contents: "When you are shooting things just don't miss. It's as simple as that."

* "How to be a Master Swordsman"

This book can be found in the first hall of the Reliquary. Turn right into the the first archway, its in between the 6th and 7th bookcase on a book shelf.

Contents: "When you find yourself in a sword fight, just make sure you gut the other fellow first. Easy, what. [laughs]"

* "Liver of Darkness"

This book (written by Dans Mourir) is found on a desk in Dankwater Cavern, only after completing Hobnobbing with Hobbes.

Contents: "Quentin stood over the sleeping form and clenched the knife tightly in his hand. Here was the woman he loved, the first person who'd shown him true affection, the wonderful creature whose very laugh made him want to sing. Could he really go through with this? One transgression, which she had tearfully labeled a terrible mistake. For that, did she deserve death? He wrestled with the question for what seemed an eternity. But while his logical mind desperately tried to stay his hand, in his liver he knew what he must do. He raised the blade. It glinted with deadly promise in the moonlight, then vanished as he plunged it into his darling."

* "The Mibbs-Spagmo Theory of Gluttony"

A book written by a woman named Mibbs. Fast travel to Organic Ink (tattooist) shop, a large(r) white building on the southern edge of the Eco Warrior camp in Mourningwood, just left of the Happy Hippies' Hut. Head left (around the shop) and find the book atop a small group of crates. (The crates are stacked between the shop and a nearby large wooden platform.)

Contents: "The first core principle of our economic theory can be summarized thusly: greed is good for you. Now, let us clarify who we mean by 'you': not you. At least, not directly. Greed is directly good for the government, because the more you spend to acquire material possessions, feed your family, etc, the stronger the economy becomes, and the more the goverment earns in taxes. A strong economy coupled with a strong government creates an environment in which progress is limitless and virtually anything is possible, and therein lies the 'indirect' benefit of your greed. Of course, given your greediness, you will likely not survive long enough to benefit from society's affluence, being grossly overweight yourself, but think of your children. Yes, they will be predisposed to obesity and an early death just as you were, but their short lives will be far more luxurious than yours. Which brings us to the second core principle: quality is more important than quantity."

* "Tyranny of Tyrants"

This book (written by George Clamp) is found in Bowerstone Market inside The Cock in the Crown tavern on the second floor near a window with a table and chairs.

Contents: "King Logan is an evil tyrant! Monarchy-- what is it good for? Never should the lives of the many be controlled by one man! Or woman -- seen that, it doesn't work either. Anyway; what we need is a republic! In the past, I've called for democracy, but I was speaking to some people and they really opened my eyes to this republic thing. Rise up to overthrow the monstrous autocrat! In the meantime, appoint me as Supreme Ruler! I will faithfully oversee the transition from monarchy to republic, strictly on a temporary basis! Really. No, really. I mean it! You can trust me!"

* "The Very Unsafe Book for Boys, Vol 1: Hang Gliders"

This book (written by Konan Wiggledung) is in the City of Aurora, sitting on the edge of the shrine near an arch, on the looping path leading away from the temple.

Contents: "Get about one hundred handerchiefs (stealing them is an economical alternative to buying them).Stitch,glue or tape them together.Tie a string to each corner.Go to the highest place you can find.Put two strings in each hand and then jump off! Note, this activity does pose significant risks, and should not be attempted except under favourable wind conditions.Even then, you'd have to be completely insane."

* "The Very Unsafe Book for Boys, Vol. 2: Ovens"

The book is located atop the second floor railing inside Two-Knock House, which can be found near Brightwall Academy. It is notable that the name is a possible reference to "The Dangerous Book For Boys"

Contents: "Grease one large round cake pan. Combine flour, eggs, butter, sugar, and salt in a large mixing bowl, bake thoroughly, then pour mixture into cake pans. Bake for thirty minutes and allow to cool. Note, this activity is in fact perfectly safe and most appropriate for right before your mum discovers you've done any of the other things described in my book."

* "The Very Unsafe Book for Boys, Vol. 3: Boxing"

Fast travel to Finkelhouse Farm, the the first cabin in the small circle of homes found near the centre of the Silverpines forest. Walk to your right, around the cabin, and find the book on top of the nearby crates.

Contents: "Boxing is a wonderful activity for boys. The first thing you'll need, besides a mate willing to let you hit him, is a pair of boxing gloves. These can be purchased from a leather craftsman or stolen out of the locker of a boy you don't like. The idea behind boxing gloves is twofold: to protect the boxer's hands, and to minimise injury to the opponent. At least, that's what you should tell your mum when you ask her to buy them for you -- she'll think you sound very mature. Be sure to use that word 'twofold', as well; that will really impress her. Anyway, the real point of boxing gloves is they allow you to hide large, heavy metal weights which will really knock your opponent's lights out. That'll teach him."

Special Books
* "The Invocation of the Watchers"

Written by an unknown writer named Lemegeton, this book can be found after returning 10 books to Samuel. After returning any 10 books to the Brightwall Academy, in addition to the Book of Mysteries, Samuel will give you a quest to find this book in a trapdoor by a house in Bowerstone Old Quarter, and give you a key.

Your gold trail should lead you to a house in Bowerstone Old Quarter, with a trapdoor outside right outside it. Once you've entered to trapdoor you should see many belongings and antique, museum like things. Enter the second and only other room with three hobbe statues. In the far right corner there is a Flit Switch you must shoot. Follow it to the left corner and shoot it again, which will result in a short fight with the three hobbe statues. After finishing the fight follow the switch 2 more times. It should finish just behind the book-cases where the book sits on a pedestal.

Contents: "I Conjure thee, O thou Mighty and Potent Prince of Darkness, Almadiel, who wanders in the Aethyr. I conjure thee forthwith to appear here with thy attendants, in this the witching hour of night! Stand before me in this Circle, herein inscribed. Come forth, in a fair and comely shape, to do my will in all things that I shall desire of you! Do not appear as the Shadow, I abjure thee! Here be the Seal of Almadiel, by which I command you!"

* "Book of Mysteries"

To reach the Book of Mysteries (written by Ignatius Boatload) you have to go into Chillbreath Caverns using the entrance nearest the Monorail Station. Follow the glowing trail, and you will come across mercenaries, who are relatively easy to kill (depending on skill level and weapons). After you are done with the mercenaries you will have to go up stairs to your right and you will come to a table with the Book of Mysteries on it.

Contents: "Extracts from the diary of a hermit. Day one: I have taken leave of the world. All my life I have spoken with my fellow man about truth and meaning, and I have found neither, from this day forth, no more talk. Enlightenment must be earnestly sought, not idly discussed. Anything else is a meaningless distraction. Day 52: Long have I sat in this cave, eating only leaves of the golden flower, and meditating upon the divine. Soon I will become one with the universe! I can feel it! Day 182: Solitude is the great purifier. Perhaps solitude itself is divine? Through its purity, I let go of my earthly self and with doing so become one with all. Day 313: I was meditating in divine silence, really close to becoming one with all, Myra from the village came to check on me. I told her I was fine, and she left. And now I'm mainly thinking about becoming one with her. Mmm Hmm."

* "The Pangs of Sunset"

This book was written by Ilona Pureheart and seems to be a 'dirty' novel based on the Heroes who accompanied the Hero of Bowerstone on their quest for revenge against Lucien. However, the novel goes in a more fictional and sexual direction.

After returning seventeen rare books to the Academy, Samuel will ask the Hero to retrieve this book, which is buried in the author's grave in Mourningwood, in the large open cemetery near the statue of the soldier. The dog will lead you to a dig spot among the headstones.

Contents: "Theresa had said 'take my hand.' Hammer had done as she was told, and at the touch of the warm flesh she felt a surge within her. A feeling at first that she couldn't identify- it was scary, but it was arousing too. She'd had thoughts of women before but never acted on them. Now it was all she could think about- it made her excited; as excited she had been the night she secretly spied on Garth and Reaver. They were so forceful with each other, and yet so tenderly yielding. The memory of that night brought a sickeningly delicious pit to her stomach. Her pulse quickened, and she let her robe slip from her shoulders and stepped into the warm bath, thinking of the two men. She began to recreate that night in her mind ... Next Chapter: Dark Wizard, Passionate Rogue."

* "Reaver on Reaver"

Reaver's autobiography. It is one of the five exceptionally rare books for the Brightwall Academy. The quest to obtain it is available once you've collected 23 books. It bears the Reaver Industries logo on its cover.

When it was released all books were sold in the first day, because Reaver bought every single book himself. The publisher then released a second edition. When Reaver joined forces with Logan and became a "respectable" business man, he tried to destroy everything that reminded him of his pirate existence, including this book. However the first edition was already buried somewhere.

Samuel tells you it is buried in Shifting Sands. Travel there, destroy the enemies, and dig the book up.

Contents: "Reaver on Reaver. An autobiography. Prologue. Dear devotees, you hold in your hands a slice of history. An unadulterated and adult-rated account on one of the longest, fullest and most scandalous lives ever lived. Mine. For the intellectually-challenged amongst you-- and I can say with some certitude that such a definition includes most of you, my dear, dear readers-- I present here a brief, abridged extract of one my least demanding chapters. I do hope you can keep up. Who knows? Perhaps your dim little minds will be encouraged to consume the entire volume. Not that I care a jot. I have your money already. And should you have shoplifted a copy, or far worse borrowed one from those appalling institutions known as libraries, be warned that I will find you and perform many of the acts described in chapter twelve upon your person. Now read on, my loves ... Chapter 17. The senile old hag was as good as her word, and I found myself magically transported to the land of Samarkand, thousands of miles from the bloody Spire. There my good fortune ended however, as I soon found that insufferable bore Garth materialising beside me. This so-called Scholar turned out to have little to teach me about his homeland. Little of interest at least. I had come seeking hot nights, exotic substances and uninhibited people, and found an excess of the first, a miserly amount of the second, and a definite shortage of the third. Still, my stay was not without its highlights. One particular evening springs to mind. My last one. I'd followed my humourless, pedantic companion into what I can only describe as the worst tavern ever to deserve such a moniker. It's pitiful cordials and feeble spirits did nothing to improve my mood, and the air was so thick with stodgy conversation, one grew constipated merely by listening. It was then I had the brilliant notion, that would simultaneously catapult me out of that humdrum country and put an end to Garth's miserable existence, as well as diverting me for several minutes. I stood up in front the sober crowd and.... And... well, my darlings, there the extract ends. You will have to read the rest of the book to find out what happened. Cliffhangers are such a cheap authorial trick, I know, but one that is not beyond me (as you shall see when you reach the end of Chapters 2, 6, 7 and 22 ). Now run ahead, you little scamps. plunge your clammy, thirsty fingers into the pages before you. I hope you enjoy reading their contents as much as I've enjoyed living them."

* "The Book of Doom"

This is the last book in the quest "The Pen is Mightier..." The author is unknown. When it is placed in the Academy, it floats in the air and a black field surrounds it.

The final book in "The Pen is Mightier..." is located in the (previously inaccessible) Reliquary Catacombs. You will need to find and donate all other books before Samuel gives you the Catacomb Key. Once you accept the quest, enter the first locked door on the right and then go down the stairs to the hallway on the lowermost floor. Go past the rubble of the collapsed area; the book is located on a pedestal on the right side.

Contents: "If you read this book you are doomed. Don't read another line. Not another word, all right? You're still reading, aren't you? What part of 'Don't read another line' do you not understand? Well, it's too late now, you've read it. You're doomed! You never should have read this. And I probably shouldn't have written it, actually."

Case Study No. 0866: Mike and Carlos (student library workers)

Conversation in the Library
6:43
On a boring day in the library two employees get in a heated debate about Denny's and how it's responsible for the decline of the American dream.
Tags: Library Comedy Conversation Short Film Independent
Added: 4 years ago
From: filmwiz23
Views: 538

Conversation in the Library
A Vignette by Paul Roland Bois

[scene opens behind the front desk of a college library, as a male student library worker walks in to find another male student library worker sitting at his work area and studying]
MIKE: Hello, Carlos.
CARLOS: Hey Mike, what's up?
MIKE: Eh, my rent's due, my girlfriend's a cheating whore, and I missed Seinfeld last night, you do the math.
CARLOS: Always negative, never cheerful. My advice, move to Paris and never look back.
MIKE: Hey Carlos, I'm just suffering from the typical effects of economic immobility.
CARLOS: You're in college. No economic immobility in that.
MIKE: My case in point, Carlos. Since when did college become the symbol of the anti-social stratification?
CARLOS: Whatever the hell that means ...
[Mike sighs, then looks up to see that "The Lion King" is playing on the television behind Carlos]
MIKE: Lion King, huh?
CARLOS: Yeah, sorry. It's the only thing we've got back there, other than documentaries on midwestern apple orchards.
MIKE: I see, I see ... Y'know something, Carlos? I think that this movie evokes a certain philosophical thought I never quite was able to grasp until now.
CARLOS: What're you talking about? The whole movie's philosophical.
MIKE: I'm not talking about the movie itself, I'm talking about what it makes me feel.
CARLOS: Okay, what does it make you feel?
MIKE: That in Africa, you're probably more fortunate if you get to be an animal than if you get to be a human.
CARLOS: [pause] A cartoon animal, maybe, but I wouldn't extend the generalization to the whole human race.
MIKE: No, I'm serious! If you get to be an animal, you don't have to suffer all the pointless economic turmoil and government genocide.
CARLOS: Well, in that case, you're probably better off being an animal, period.
MIKE: In most cases, yes. In the case of Donald Trump, no.
CARLOS: Why does he get off?
MIKE: Born lucky in a capitalist society.
CARLOS: So what's that say?
MIKE: That nowadays, success and comfort reach only to the fortunate few whose parents grant them their prizes and gifts. Ever heard of the Hollywood industry? I think so.
CARLOS: I sense some hostility.
MIKE: It's not like I'm speaking some foreign prophecy, Carlos! Just look at all the crap you hear about on the radio or, god forbid, the TV.
CARLOS: I don't watch TV, and radio's the fuckin' Antichrist ...
MIKE: Y'know, I sense even more hostility in that statement.
CARLOS: Long story. Keep going.
MIKE: The examples are everywhere, Carlos. It's fucking dog eat dog! Nepotism at its high, corruption's at its high, and all we can do is sit around and suck on it!
CARLOS: Words of the realists ...
MIKE: [pause] Aw goddammit Carlos, we gotta shelve those books.
[he gets up, but Carlos remains seated and points at his notebook]
CARLOS: How 'bout you shelve the books and I study?
MIKE: Oh, what? Come on, man! This is a good discussion here, why don't you humor me for a bit? Besides, I always do the shelving while you sit down in your stupid little books and you study!
CARLOS: [pause] Alright ...
MIKE: Alright, alright!
[he starts applauding Carlos as he gets up]
MIKE: Come on, way to show some enthusiasm!
CARLOS: But to interject my opinion, I think your argument's flawed ...
[they walk over and grab some books from the bookcart]
MIKE: Come on, man. All I'm saying is the American dream's a fading symbol of hard work amounting to something grander than our everyday lives.
[cut to the stacks area, as the two students are each carrying a pile of books]
CARLOS: How did we get on this topic?
MIKE: Something about jackrabbits in Africa ...
CARLOS: Well, you can't be serious. The American dream isn't fading. There's examples of it everywhere. I mean, just the other day, a restaurant opened down the street from my house.
MIKE: And then in another month, a new Denny's will open right across the street from it, only for the pathetic kick of shutting the poor bastard down!
[cut to two female students watching the conversation in amusement, then back to the student workers]
MIKE: Now Carlos, it's possible like most businesses, they might get a sympathy vibe in their veins and decide to buy the guy out ... and then another month goes by, you get two Denny's right across the street from each other! And then that, Carlos, is when the competition gets really tough, because it's dog eat dog after all the mutts get picked, and when that happens, the dogs start fucking themselves.
[he rolls his eyes, as the two begin shelving their books]
CARLOS: Yeah, but it's not like Denny's planned to shut him down. They just wanted to expand their location to ... a wider domestic audience. I mean, come on, every town needs a Denny's. It's like McDonald's. It makes children happy, hence the name "Happy Meal."
[the two end up on opposite ends of the same bookshelf, as Mike angrily puts down his stack of books and turns the corner to confront his co-worker]
MIKE: Hold on a second! You'd seriously go to a half-assed Denny's over a good old-fashioned hole in the wall?
[cut to a female student entering the library, then back to the student workers]
CARLOS: Gotta have my Grand Slams ...
MIKE: "Gotta have my Grand Slams?!" Gotta have my Grand Slams, Carlos?! Y'see, that's the problem that I'm talkin' about!
CARLOS: What? The fact that I prefer Gland Slam over some hole in the wall shlock made by some East Coast greaseball?
[cut to the female student looking at a sign on the wall ("Please ask for assistance, 30 cents per yard. Please do not tear off paper. Please ask TCC staff to cut paper for you. Thank you!"), then back to the student workers]
MIKE: No Carlos, no. The fact that your whole statement of purpose is a complete rip-off of the Corn Pops slogan!
CARLOS: So now we're bringing Corn Pops into this ...
MIKE: You're damn right I'm bringing Corn Pops into this! It's like you have no other creative way to prove me wrong, than to reference a cereal commercial slogan of all things! A fucking cereal commercial slogan, Carlos!
CARLOS: [sighs] Michael Rollins, you continue to astound me ...
MIKE: No no no, Carlos! This is no longer a simple-minded debate about personal preference. You've touched something here, you've opened the fucking wardrobe to Narnia--
[the female student enters the scene]
FEMALE STUDENT: Excuse me?
[they both turn and yell "What?!" to her]
FEMALE STUDENT: Think you guys could shut up for a second and come over and cut this for me?
MIKE: Aw fffffuck!
[he walks over to the front desk and grabs a pair of scissors, then turns to her with a condescending smile]
MIKE: Here, cut it yourself!
[he slams the scissors down in front of her, then walks back towards Carlos]
MIKE: No charge!
FEMALE STUDENT: Asshole!
MIKE: Only in the afternoon!
[he turns his attention back to Carlos]
CARLOS: Now how the hell does me quoting Corn Pops and claiming I like Grand Slams have anything remotely to do with you blowing your top? No no, I really wanna fucking here this, lay it on me! I'm all ears and my lips are sealed!
MIKE: It's not the intent, Carlos, it's what it represents! That there are no opinions, that there is no variety. Just brand names and conglomerates.
[cut to a male student reading a book in the stacks, as he looks up to hear the conversation growing increasingly louder]
MIKE: [from off camera] It's the personification of the fucking oligarchy, it's complete and total ignorance!
[cut back to the student workers]
CARLOS: Oh, complete and total ignorance? Well now, Mister Fucking Anti-Social Stratification, here's Johnny! You come in here with your piss-poor attitude, your liberalism bullshit, and you expect me to bend over while you make me look like a heartless prick and you the patron saint of lost causes? Well, let me clue you in on a newsflash, bub!
[cut back to the male student peeking through the books on the shelf, trying to find the source of the argument]
CARLOS: [from off camera] My family's a victim of this so-called oligarchy you claim I represent!
[cut back to the student workers]
CARLOS: Just two months ago, my dad calls me and tells me that he can't pay my tuition anymore because a Wal-Mart is coming into town and replacing his movie store!
[cut to the female student using the scissors to cut some paper (while also listening to the conversation with a sad look on her face)]
CARLOS: [from off camera] So because of that, I now have to work twenty hours a week in this shit heap ...
[cut back to the student workers]
CARLOS: Six of which I have to listen to your pretentious ass complain about why you think it's wrong that I prefer Denny's over some Mom and Pop hole in the wall!
[the camera zooms in on the stunned expression on Mike's face]
CARLOS: As if there's some unwritten rule that states that those who eat at Denny's are the simpleminded, and those who eat at local shops are the intellectually superior! If I eat at Denny's, I eat at Denny's!
[cut back to the male student spying on them]
CARLOS: [from off camera] If I quote Corn Pops, I quote Corn Pops!
[cut back to the student workers]
CARLOS: I'll quote the whole fucking Kellogg company if it means shutting your whiny ass up! So here's a new one for you ...
[cut back to the male student, standing on a step stool to see over the bookshelf]
MALE STUDENT: [whispers] The fuck?
CARLOS: [from off camera] Why don't you follow your nose out of my business, and into your own miserable life you can't seem to shut up about?
[cut back to the female student, who suddenly laughs]
FEMALE STUDENT: That's Froot Loops!
[he turns and looks at her]
CARLOS: See? She knows what I'm talking about!
[quick cut back to the male student (who ends up falling backwards and pulling the books on the shelf down on top of him), then back to Mike and Carlos as they walk towards the female student]
CARLOS: Lemmee ask you something ... Where would you rather go, Denny's or a hole in the wall?
FEMALE STUDENT: Um, I'm a vegan, so neither.
CARLOS: See, Mike? An opposing opinion. Ain't this country great?
[he opens a door]
MIKE: Well, where the hell are you going?
CARLOS: I'm going on my break. Finish off on the books.
[he exits, as Mike (after pausing with a defeated look on his face) walks off camera]