Case Study No. 0751: Jasper

Secret Lives of Librarians promo (2/3)
1:06
Video sketch from the 2012 sketch show Morning News Zealand. Written by Sara Kidd and starring Thom Adams. Filmed and edited by Matt Taine.
Tags: sketch comedy Morning News Zealand
Added: 1 month ago
From: drsambojones
Views: 11

[scene opens with a young male librarian (long brown hair, black overcoat, orange tie) taking off his glasses and smiling at the camera, as "Meet Jasper" appears on screen]
[cut to Jasper reading a book, when he turns to the camera and smiles, as "He has a secret to share ... " appears on screen]
[cut to Jasper with a blank expression on his face, as "Job?" appears on screen]
[cut to Jasper smiling and speaking directly to the camera]
JASPER: Librarian!
["Secret?" appears on screen, then cut to Jasper holding up a hardcover edition of "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire]
JASPER: I like big books and I cannot lie!
["What do you think New Zealanders would like to know about librarians?" appears on screen]
JASPER: Well, this one time, this guy tweeted on my Facebook page ... he said "Librarianship is for losers."
[cut to Jasper reading from "Wicked" while taking a bite out of a carrot, then cut back to Jasper speaking directly to the camera]
JASPER: Well, I showed him, by tweeting my disagreement from my dimly lit cubicle in the library basement!
[cut to Jasper dancing, then "Craziest thing you have ever done in a library?" appears on screen]
JASPER: Uh ...
[cut to Jasper coyly speaking directly to the camera (as if he's embarrassed to reveal a huge secret)]
JASPER: One time ... I wore my gardening crocs to work instead of my usual day-wear crocs!
[he shakes his head, then "Secret Lives of Librarians" appears on screen]
[cut to Jasper chewing his carrot before walking off camera, as "Tuesdays at 7pm" appears on screen]

---

From stuff.co.nz:

Hutt City Musical Theatre ventures into the world of stand-up comedy with its latest production, Morning News Zealand.

"This is an exciting departure from our usual shows," said theatre president Tony Lucie-Smith.

"We want to see whether there is interest in this medium as part of our desire to grow the society."

The production centres on a television breakfast show, Morning News Zealand, under threat from a flashy newcomer - Revelation.

Can presenters Wayne Downdeboat, Anne Kerr and their team of journalists improve their ratings and save their jobs?

For the majority of the young cast, the show is a reunion. Seven of the 10 met as students at Otago University taking part in a Capping Show. They went on to perform together for more than five years.

Finding themselves in Wellington with jobs, partners and mortgages, the group discovered that they still had a passion for being silly and writing sketches.

Teaming up with improvisers Wiremu Tuhiwai, Jennifer O'Sullivan and Steven Youngblood, a new show began to form.

Incorporating a variety of music, the cast worked on the script for two months, picking out their favourite sketches and stitching them into a storyline, Mr Lucie-Smith said.

"It's great to see younger people producing good theatre."

Featuring interviews, dancing, robots, cats, politics and music Morning News Zealand promises an entertaining evening.

Case Study No. 0750: Unnamed Female Librarian (Pretty in Pink)

Andie's mystery man is revealed in Pretty In Pink
1:28
Andie's in this chat room. Andie thinks it's Duckie trying to talk to her. Turns out, Andie and her mystery man are in the same chat and in the same area. After he shows Andie a pic of him and a pic of her, Andie gets up to see who this guy is. The guy stands up too. They lock eyes and grin. What a CUTE way to meet!
Tags: part of movie
Added: 1 year ago
From: swayzefan01
Views: 1,599

[scene opens at the computer terminals in a high school library, as an elderly female librarian with her back to the camera (white hair, glasses, red flower dress) is helping one of the students]
[cut to a closeup of Andie Walsh sitting at one of the computers, as she is trying to type the sentence "More than 8,500,000 men and women were employed in building and improvement jobs, and--"]
STUDENT: [from off camera] Okay. Now, do I have to press this "Enter"--
LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] That, that's right.
STUDENT: [from off camera] In order for that to work?
LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Yes.
[her screen suddenly goes blank, and she gets a confused look on her face]
[cut to a closeup of the screen, as the words "Do you want to talk?" appear]
[cut back to Andie, who sighs and types "Duckie, I'm working."]
[cut back to the screen, as the words "Who's Duckie?" appear]
[cut back to Andie, who looks around with a confused look on her face]
[cut back to the screen, as the words "I'm waiting." appear]
[cut back to Andie, who types "Do you know who I am?"]
[cut back to the screen, as a digital picture of Andie (with rather impressive resolution for a 1980s computer terminal) appears]
[cut back to Andie, who smiles, then types "Do you know who you are?"]
[cut back to the screen, as an digital picture of Blane appears]
[cut back to Andie, who gets up to look around the library for him ... then he stands up from the table immediately across from her]

---

From byui.edu:

PRETTY IN PINK (1986). A boy flirts with a girl he likes by sending messages to the computer she's working on in the school library.

---

From wikipedia.org:

High school senior Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald) is a working class girl who has a crush on one of the rich, preppie boys in her school, Blane McDonough (Andrew McCarthy). When Andie and Blane try to get together, they encounter resistance from their respective social circles.

Andie lives on "the wrong side of the tracks" with her unemployed father (Harry Dean Stanton) who is still devastated by the breakup of his marriage to Andie's mother some years before. Andie's best friend, Phil "Duckie" Dale (Jon Cryer), is in love with her, but plays it off as a joke in front of her. In school, he and Andie are harassed by Blane's friends, the arrogant so-called "richie" kids Benny (Kate Vernon) and Steff (James Spader).

Andie works at TRAX, a New Wave music store in the Chinatown neighborhood, managed by her older friend and mentor Iona (Annie Potts). Iona advises Andie to go to her senior prom despite not having a date.

Soon, Blane makes his move via chatting in the computer lab, and Andie is smitten. Blane ventures out to the area at school where the punks, metalheads, and New Wavers hang out and asks Andie on a date. Steff - whose crude advances Andie had earlier rebuffed - begins questioning why his best friend "was conversing with a mutant," but Blane brushes him off.

---

From jhu.edu:

This film claims that the surest path toward economic well-being and empowerment for a woman is only temporarily connected with work. This underlying theme is supported by one small, albeit important, detail in the film. When Andie is doing her homework (on the New Deal) on a primitive personal computer at the school library, the monitor reads, in part, "More than 8,500,000 men and women were employed in building." However, this sentence (and Andie's work) is erased and interrupted by some fancy computer tricks that Blane does on the school's network: he talks to her electronically and then displays side-by-side electronic photos of the two of them. This seems to be the film's message: employment for women becomes null and void, erased by the workings of the upper classes, when these women have boyfriends from higher classes than their own. The film, then, tantalizes its young female viewers with the promise of a road to rich(i)es, but not solely through their own work.

Case Study No. 0749: Staff of the Balamb Garden Library

FF8 *No Levelling* - #17 - Diablos Preparation
10:38
We further the subplot with the Librarian, and finish off a couple more abilities before we attempt to 'persuade' GF-Diablos to join us.
Tags: ff8 ffviii final fantasy viii pc version video walkthru lets let's play no leveling levelling
Added: 4 years ago
From: Cyric1983
Views: 2,869

From wikia.com:

The Library Girl with a Pigtail ("Piguteeru Tsuki Raiburari Gaaru" in the original Japanese) also known as the Girl with Pigtail or simply the Pigtail Girl, is a non-playable character in Final Fantasy VIII. She harbors a deep infatuation with Zell Dincht and is featured primarily in a side-quest to obtain the Combat King 003 magazine. All the scenes are optional, triggered at different times when the player visits the library with Zell in the party.

In the game, Zell and the Pigtail Girl meet for the first time in the Balamb Garden Library when Zell asks if the book Good-bye Pupurun has been returned yet. The Pigtail Girl, as one of the three girls working as the Library Committee, stammers as she enters the search.

Later, Pigtail Girl's fellow committee members offer their support in helping her with her infatuation and interrogate Zell to find out what his likes and dislikes are. Another SeeD member is seen asking where the Pigtailed girl is, although her friends recognize that the guy may be interested in her, they know the girl is only interested in Zell, and ignore him.

During the Garden's stay in Fishermans Horizon, Irvine can go and talk to the Pigtail Girl in the library and she will inquire about Zell. Still later, Squall overhears the girls in the back of the library reading a fortune book to predict the Pigtail Girl's compatibility with Zell. The results are positive and the Pigtail Girl opts to find Zell and tell him her feelings.

At any point in Disc 3, the Pigtail Girl and Zell can meet in the Balamb Hotel where she reveals her feelings for him and gives him the Combat King 003 magazine. The dialogue is more complete the more scenes in the sidequest the player has witnessed.

The two are seen for the last time after Ultimecia's defeat, eating together during the celebration ball.

Trivia

* At the very start of the game, in the "Suggestion Box" at Squall's study terminal, on the last page, a student whose initials are "Z.D." (presumably Zell Dincht) mentions he'll have his SeeD exam, and that the "library personnel" (presumably the pigtailed girl) wishes him good luck.

* During the Balamb Garden evacuation and NORG's uprising, the girl will give Squall a Mega-Phoenix if Zell is in the party (she will only give a Remedy otherwise).

Combat King 003 Sidequest

The player can witness numerous optional scenes between Zell and the Pigtail Girl, who works in the Library Committee in Balamb Garden. None of the scenes are required in order to get the magazine, but the more scenes the player witnesses, the more complete the dialogue will be at the end.

1. After hearing the briefing for the Timber mission, the party can return to Balamb Garden and enter the library, where Zell will ask the Pigtail Girl about a book he is looking for.
2. If the player takes Zell back to Garden to warn Headmaster Cid of the missiles, and visits the library, the Pigtail Girl will give Zell a Mega-Phoenix. If Zell's not in the party, she gives a Remedy.
3. When Irvine has to choose instruments for the characters to play during the concert, he can leave the scene and visit the library, where the Pigtail Girl asks questions about Zell.
4. After liberating Balamb from Galbadia, the player can enter the library with Zell in the party and the Pigtail Girl's friends hold a questionnaire for him.
5. After visiting Trabia Garden the player can take Zell to the library to the screen with the Esuna draw point and overhear the girls talking about Zell.
6. On Disc 3 the girls on the Library Committee will tell Zell the Pigtail Girl is looking for him.

The magazine can be obtained at any time after having liberated Balamb from Galbadian soldiers. After talking to one of the girls of the Library Committee, the player can head to Balamb and a girl in a red skirt will tell Zell that a girl with a pig-tail stopped by his house.

At Zell's house he will ask about the girl. The player must have Zell in the party and sleep in the Balamb Hotel. Upon waking the party notices Zell is gone, and find him downstairs where he's having a conversation with the Pigtail Girl, who hands over the Combat King 003.

---

From icybrian.com:

[Library]
-Open Hours
9:00 a.m.-lights out.
-Library Usage
All materials are open to the public. You may check out materials at the
desk.
-Remain quiet at all times.

[Library Committee Announcements]
*The following materials are overdue. Please return them to the library
immediately.
**************
"Insect Guidebook (Colour Edition)"
Raijin
"Goodbye Pupurun"
Raijin

The following requested materials have arrived.
**************
"Edible Flowers"
"Turbine Engines (Revised Edition)"
"We Meet Again, Pupurun"
"The Sorceress' Knight (Scenario Edition)"

[Balamb Garden-Centre-Library Hallway]

*Walking Instructor
"Studying in the library!? I'm impressed!"

[Balamb Garden-Library]

*Library Girl with a Pigtail
"The following acts are prohibited within the library:
1. Talking loudly.
2. Eating and drinking.
3. Running around."
"And also...
4. Avoid late returns.
5. No fighting over seats."
"I have to go over the library rules with the children, next period."
"I'm very nervous. I hope they understand..."

*Student
"I have a question for ya! Esthar was the country that was governed by this
evil sorceress way back when, right?"
"So what happened to this sorceress? Did someone overthrow the sorceress?
Did we learn about this in class?"
"I think I cut class that day, so, like, I have no idea what this sorceress
is about."

*Walking Student
"I hope there's a seat left..."
"There's always a lot of people in the reading room."
"And not everyone's there to read books, either!"

*Student at bookshelf
"Darn...I can't remember the name of the book the instructor was talking
about."
"It's too much of a hassle to ask him again. I'll just check out whatever."

*Student at bookshelf (second time)
"Hmm...I can't find anything that's relevant!"

[Balamb Garden-Library-Reading Room]

*Garden Faculty
"The desks aren't squeaky clean! Those 3 from the library committee...I bet
they're slacking off somewhere!"

*Garden Faculty (second time and onward)
"All they do is yippity-yap, yippity-yap...Even when they're alone,
yippity-yap..."
"So annoyingly loud, I tell ya!"

*Female Student
"So, like, did you read it?"

Male Student
"Oh, you mean that bloody murder mystery?"

Female Student
"Did you find out who the killer was?"

Male Student
"Y'know...You should read somethin' more enlightening."

Female Student
"So, like...You found it boring?"

Male Student
"It was good...But what I'm tryin' to say is..."

Female Student
"So you liked it! Then you'll like this one, too!"

Male Student
"...Oh, ok..."

*Female Student (Second time)
"So, like, this book is written in a new style. The narrator is actually the
kil..."

Male Student
"Hey! Geez, don't give it away!"

[...]

[Balamb Garden-Library]

*Cadet
"There's so much competition for books before a test."
"That's why I'm scoping out a book now."

[Balamb Garden-Library-Reading Room]

*Girl Cadet
"I saved a seat, but where's my study partner?"
"I'll get in trouble if she doesn't come back soon."

*Cadet
"HfwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAHHHH."
"I have a test comin' up. It's actually a make-up test."
"It's the worst, man...I'm the only one takin' it."

[...]

[Balamb Garden-Library]

*Library Girl with a Pigtail
"If there's a book you're looking for, please let one of the library
committee know. We'll be happy to help you."

Zell
"I've been waitin' FOREVER for 'Good-bye Pururun'. Has anyone returned it
yet?"

Library Girl with a Pigtail
"Oh...Z-Zell..."
"I...I'll put a search on that...P-Please hold on a second..."

*Library Girl with a Pigtail (second time and onward)
"I...I'll put a search on that...P-Please hold on a second..."

*Conceited SeeD
"So the new issue isn't in yet. I was looking forward to it."

Library Committee Member
"I...I'm sorry. I was so busy with the budget meeting and all..."

Conceited SeeD
"Oh, I'm in no rush. Besides, I don't have that much time to read."

Library Committee Member
"Yes, I'm sure. SeeDs must be very busy."
"P-Please stop by again!"

Conceited SeeD
"Yeah sure, thanks."

*Conceited SeeD (second time and onward)
"You a SeeD, like me? Well, good luck to ya."

*Library Committee Member
"OH-MY-GOSH...!!! He spoke to me!!!"

*Library Committee Member (second time and onward)
"That SeeD comes to the library often. He's been our topic of conversation
lately."

Case Study No. 0748: David Kay and The Woody Guth3

WoodyGuth3 "I'm an Archivist [for Jon Stewart]".mov
3:12
A funny and humorous ReadAloud&Sing-Along music video of explanation and defiance for underappreciated and misunderstood librarians, archivists, electronic records and information managers everywhere. Based on Monty Python's Flying Circus's "Lumberjack Song", this was inspired by The Daily Show's Jon Stewart's dis of the MLS degree in November 2009. IThe WoodyGuth3 are a "Shockwaves NME Video Award" winning Brooklyn-based folk ensemble. They got their first big break singing "Howdi Do" on Brooklyn Blowback TV. If you can't take a joke, sing along. This song is for everyone including the blind, dyslexic and print-disabled. Remember, "Good Archiving Starts with You."
Tags: archivists storytellers
Added: 2 years ago
From: brooklynblowback
Views: 1,225

"I'm an Archivist (For Jon Stewart)"
By David Kay, MLS and The Woody Guth3

O, I'm an Archivist
And I'm alright
I work all day and I write at night

He's an Archivist
And he's alright
He works all day and he writes at night

I organize collections
Put things in their proper place
I also manage backups
To make sure they aren't erased

He organizes collections
Puts them in their proper place
He manages the backups
And makes sure things aren't erased

I catalog and classify
And create good metadata
If I make a mistake
I correct my own errata
Describe all the assets
In their content and their form
And I can even tell you
If it is "digital born"

He describes all the assets
In their content and their form
And he can even tell you
If it is "digital born"

I create controlled vocabularies
And I usually remind
"Good archiving starts with you"
So let me help you find
If you trust your Archivist
You'll get what you deserve
For when you check in 10 years
Everything will be preserved

If you trust your Archivist
You'll get what you deserve
For when you check in 10 years
Everything will be preserved

I work closely with others
To determine best tactics
I'm always searching for ways
To do "best practices"
It might seem very funny
That we're a professional trade
(Ha-Ha!)
We monetize collections
But we're still underpaid

It might seem very funny
That they're a professional trade
They monetize collections
But they're still underpaid

With imminent obsolescence
It's a race against time
If you do not strategize
It could be a serious crime

There are things you need right now
And things you don't need yet
With a good Archivist
You won't be filled with regret

There are things you need right now
And things you don't need yet
With a good Archivist
You won't be filled with regret

I manage all the knowledge
I update the database
On Friday afternoons
I free up server space
At the end of every project
I plan for our escape
I digitize the assets
And archive them all to tape

At the end of every project
He plans for our escape
He digitizes assets
And archives them all to tape

O, I'm an Archivist
And I'm alright
I work all day and I write at night

He's an Archivist
And he's alright
He works all day and he writes at night

Performed by The Woody Guth3
Courtesy of Brooklyn Blowback TV. Copyright 2010

---

From blogspot.com:

It's really rare that archival job postings get much attention outside of the archival community, but the University of California-Santa Cruz's recent announcement that it was seeking an archivist to manage its Grateful Dead Archive has gotten more media coverage than the recent confirmation of David Ferriero as the 10th Archivist of the United States. The New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and lots of other media outlets are all over the story.

Last night, Jon Stewart (who needs some help with the pronunciation of "archivist") got into the act. As evidenced by the reactions posted to the Daily Show site itself and the Archives and Archivists listserv, reaction is mixed: some archivists think it's hilarious, while others are insulted by the offhand manner in which Stewart dismisses our profession. FWIW, I'm in the former camp. Yeah, the "alphanumerically?" bit is kind of snotty, but this is a man who, upon receiving an honorary doctorate from his alma mater, said: "As a person, I am honored to get it; as an alumnus, I have to say I believe we can do better."

Here's a transcript of Stewart's outburst:

"Right now, the University of California at Santa Cruz is offering over 68,000 dollars a year for you to move to Santa Cruz and be their brand new Grateful Dead Archivist. Here's what they're saying. They're looking for someone who loves the Grateful Dead, yet somehow also has exceptional organizational skills. Uh, I don't know how they're gonna make this, y'know, basically UC Santa Cruz is saying ... I need a miracle.

"By the way, if you love the Grateful Dead and you have a bachelor's degree in Archives Management, and you think that going out there and getting this job would be a slam dunk, think again! The university requires that you have a MASTERS DEGREE in archives management! They're not even gonna look at your [shit] if you have a bachelor's degree! That might fly at the Spin Doctors archive at UC Suck-My-[Balls], but this is the Grateful Dead!

"By the way, a masters degree in Archives Management? What does that even mean? 'Oh, I've got a masters degree, I can archive things alphabetically or numerically. What?! Alphanumerically? Slow down, I don't have a doctorate!' There you have it, 4 years of undergrad, 2 years of graduate school and now you can spend your days picking blotter acid out of Phil Lesh's underwear from the Blues for Allah tour."

The job itself sounds like a great opportunity for a really high-energy archivist, who will work with approximately 600 linear feet of archival records, news clippings, artifacts, photographs, posters, audio and video recordings, and publications by and about the band and correspondence and art contributed over the years by their fans.

---

From nyarchivists.org:

David Kay is a digital archivist and Director of Archives at Little Airplane Productions, an animation studio in New York City. He is also founder of New York Digital Archivists Working Group (NYDAWG) He writes limericks and songs, and performs music live and on YouTube as The Woody Guth3.

Case Study No. 0747: Staff of Dinand Library

Information Faire and Festival
1:28
Holy Cross Libraries held its first annual Information Faire and Festival October 5, 2010. It was a great evening!
Tags: Holy Cross Dinand library
Added: 2 years ago
From: HolyCrossLibraries
Views: 119

["Scenes from IF2" appears on screen, then cut to a shot of students walking around the tables set up in Dinand Library at the College of the Holy Cross (Worcester MA)]
[cut to a shot of one of the female librarians standing next to her table]
JANIS DESMARAIS: Oh, am I being videotaped?
SLAVIC ZUKIC: [from off camera] Yeah!
JANIS DEMASARIS: Ahhh!
[cut to another shot of one of the students shooting baskets at the Archives table (set up next to a picture of alum Bob Cousy]
MARK SAVOLIS: Alright!
[cut to more shots of students exploring the various tables ("Science Library", "ITS", "Writer's Workshop", "Music Library", etc.)]
["See you at the library!" appears on screen]

---

From facebook.com:

Did you know that the library can borrow books for you from other libraries all over the world?

And did you know that the Worcester Art Museum Library is another Holy Cross Library?

Students were able to learn about all kinds of resources and services like these at the library's Information Faire and Festival on Oct. 5. While enjoying popcorn and other treats, students visited different informational tables set up in the Main Reading Room at Dinand Library. Tables included the Visual Resources Library and the Worcester Art Museum Library; the Music Library; the Science Library; the Archives; Interlibrary Loan and Circulation Services; Research and Electronic Resources; Educational Technology and Information Technology; and the Writers Workshop. As they stopped at each table, students spoke with staff members about different resources and services.

Several tables had an interactive component, such as Visual Literacy Skills Test and a Bob Cousy basketball contest at Archives. For those interested in even more gaming, video game stations were also set up in the Reading Room. Students who visited every table were entered in a raffle to win gift certificates to local restaurants and stores and a $100 iTunes gift card. Even students who did not win raffle prizes left the library with bags of goodies - earbuds from the Music Department, insect bookmarks and rock candy from the Science Library, create your own Jackson Pollock cookies, and more!

The event was a great success! The library is especially grateful for the generosity of: Boynton Family Restaurant, 86 Winter American Bistro, Flats Organic Pizza, George's Coney Island, Flying Rhino Cafe, Wings Over Worcester, Best Buy, and Springshare!

Case Study No. 0746: Wanda Higgins and Mrs. Dappleburger

the sexy effects of the cozy corner library.
8:50
What happens when a librarian refuses to hire a crazed woman? FIND OUT! this video could give you squirrel aids.
Tags: crazy muffin man library shooting murderer books stalker working slap random happiness
Added: 3 years ago
From: itsmevannah
Views: 917

[scene opens with a young female librarian handing a book to a patron off camera]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Well, enjoy your books, Misses Robertson! Alright, bye! Oh, tell Patti I said hello!
[she laughs, then starts writing something down while talking to herself]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I love my job at Cozy Corner Library!
[she suddenly jumps back, as another young woman emerges from underneath the desk]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Oh my god!
WANDA HIGGINS: Hello!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Hello ... Um, can I help you?
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes, I am Wanda!
[she takes her hand and shakes it]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Wanda, Misses Dappleburger ... Uh, I need you to go back to the other side--
WANDA HIGGINS: Oh, I have a really important question, though!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: How can I help you, besides your wardrobe?
[she chuckles to herself]
WANDA HIGGINS: Are y'all hirin'?
[she takes a manilla folder out]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Um, well ...
[she takes the papers inside and throws them behind her]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: We don't actually have any applications, so no, I'm sorry! We-we're not hiring! Mm-mmm!
WANDA HIGGINS: Oh, don't worry about those ... I have some back home! I'll just fill one out after a bath, since it's been twelve days and all, I probably should take one]
[Dappleburger covers her nose]
WANDA HIGGINS: You can expect me back here at the Cozy Library tomorrow morning!
[she gags a little]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Uh, ma'am, we have a policy ...
WANDA HIGGINS: A policy?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: A policy ...
WANDA HIGGINS: What kind of policy?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: It's about muffins!
WANDA HIGGINS: Muffins?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: [whispers] Muffins ...
WANDA HIGGINS: Do you even know the Muffin Man?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: The one that lives on Drury Lane?
WANDA HIGGINS: Yeah, that's the one!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Yes ... I know him. I loved him. I'd do him.
[they both stop and stare at each other, as the background music stops playing]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I'm just kidding, I don't do the Muffin Man, and I turned the music off because it was annoying ... but yes, a policy!
WANDA HIGGINS: Hmm, what is this policy? Fire away!
[she takes out a lighter and begins flicking it on and off, before putting it away again]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Alright, I will ... Only humans can work here!
WANDA HIGGINS: I am human!
[she starts hissing like Hannibal Lecter]
WANDA HIGGINS: See?
["The Next Day" appears on screen, then cut to Dappleburger (wearing dark glasses and a trenchcoat) talking to a "man" in a different room]
MR. HAGGARD: Why did you relocate your library to this place?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I told you, Mister Haggard, I had to go in hiding after that one woman Wanda came and tried to work with me! And then, I saw her watching me take a shower! She changed my toothpaste into fish smears, and I don't even know what that is!
MR. HAGGARD: Oh, I know what that is, ma'am, but I'm afraid you don't wanna know!
[she hugs him]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: You're my best friend, Mister Haggard!
MR. HAGGARD: I know.
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: You should know before anyone else knows why I had to relocate my library!
MR. HAGGARD: There's no need to go into a ton of spasms, I can help you.
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Sometimes I just don't know what to do if I can't spasm myself!
MR. HAGGARD: Stop, relax. Relax, we can get through this together.
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: [whispers] We can ...
["1 Hour Later" appears on screen, then cut to Dappleburger speaking into her cellphone]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Haggard? It's me ... No, no! No, Wanda's not here, I'm fine. I just, I just wanted to call and thank you for coming by today and telling me that everything was going to be alright. I mean, I really appreciate that you're going to protect me from that stinky, smelly, raunchy, ugly-ass creature!
[Wanda suddenly peeks in from behind her, before receding back off camera]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I just, I don't even know what I would do without you, just thank you ... Okay, alright, I will. Yeah. Yeah, I will, I will. Alright, thanks. Bye.
[she hangs up, then Wanda (hiding her face with a cowboy hat) walks up to her]
WANDA HIGGINS: Can I get a book?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Um, yes. Anyone can check out a book ...
[she throws off her hat]
WANDA HIGGINS: Good!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Oh my god, Wanda!
WANDA HIGGINS: That's right, twinkletoes! Raunchy Wanda's here!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Oh, uh ... I wasn't talking about you! There's other Wandas in the world, and I--
WANDA HIGGINS: Really?!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I swear to god, I swear to god, I swear to god, I swear to god, I swear to god ...
WANDA HIGGINS: Shut up! You know what I want!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Wanda, how did you find me?
WANDA HIGGINS: I can smell you from a mile away!
[she inhales deeply]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Oh, that's disturbing ... Can you really?
WANDA HIGGINS: Oh yeah ...
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: W-waddaya want?
WANDA HIGGINS: You know what I want!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: What do you want from me?!
WANDA HIGGINS: I want a job!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: You can't work here ...
WANDA HIGGINS: Why not?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: You just can't!
WANDA HIGGINS: Why not?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: You will never work here!
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes I will!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: No you won't!
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes I will!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: No Wanda, you won't!
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes I will!
[Dappleburger slaps her in the face, then immediately regrets it]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I'm really really sorry, Wanda ...
WANDA HIGGINS: Oooh! It's too late for that! You can kiss your job ... goodbye!
[she pulls down her pants and slaps her behind, then leaves]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez! What am I gonna do without my job?
["The Next Day" appears on screen, then cut to Dappleburger crying and packing up her things, as Wanda (wearing a white bathrobe and a drawn-in unibrow) enters]
WANDA HIGGINS: Well, I certainly hope you've learned not to mess with the best!
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I lost my job, Misses Higgins!
[she blows her nose]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Lost it!
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes, and I ... have gained it.
["Later That Day" appears on screen, then cut to Wanda speaking with a "man" in a cowboy hat]
MR. SIPPY: Misses Higgins, I'm Mister Sippy, what's up? How are you?
WANDA HIGGINS: I'm fine, how are you?
MR. SIPPY: Good, good, good! I am the mayor of this beautiful beautiful town. Um, this library used to belong to Misses Dappleburger. She's no longer managing this library, not after what she did to you!
WANDA HIGGINS: I know, it was quite horrific ...
[Mr. Sippy leans in close, as Wanda backs away]
WANDA HIGGINS: Sorry?
MR. SIPPY: Sorry ... Um, lemmee catch my breath, you're a beautiful woman.
WANDA HIGGINS: Oh, thank you.
MR. SIPPY: I want you to be the manager of this library! Is that gonna be a possibility with you, ma'am?
WANDA HIGGINS: I would love to!
["Even Later That Day" appears on screen, then cut to Wanda writing in a notepad when Dappleburger (hiding her face with a parasol) walks up behind her]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Um, hello.
WANDA HIGGINS: Yes, just a minute ... What'cha need, darling?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: I need a book
WANDA HIGGINS: What're you lookin' for?
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: A mischievious book!
[Wanda turns to check her computer, as Dappleburger drops the parasol and pulls out a "gun"]
WANDA HIGGINS: Alright, I think we have one in the system, but I'm not real sure--
[she shoots Wanda in the back, then wheels her out of the library, before turning and speaking directly to the camera]
MRS. DAPPLEBURGER: Got that beeyotch!
["The End!" appears on screen]

Mrs. Dappleburger - Savannah
Ms. Wanda Higgins - Shae
Mr. Sippy - Savannah

Director - Savannah
Film Editor - Savannah
Ideas - Savannah
Anything you laughed at - Savannah
And everything else - Savannah
Just kidding. We love Shae!

Case Study No. 0745: Enda Doyle

Red Roses and Petrol - Enda Doyle Has Something to Share
0:27
Enda Doyle has something to share...

See what it is on DVD, October 13, 2009.

http://www.redrosesandpetrol.com
Tags: red roses and petrol malcolm mcdowell irish ireland independent film teaser heather juergensen max beesley clockwork orange hotel babylon
Added: 3 years ago
From: wwmpc
Views: 337

[Enda Doyle is fixing his hair and smiling for the camera, when he suddenly gets a concerned look on his face]
ENDA: Dat blasted ting on ...
[he gets up and begins adjusting the camera, when it goes dark]
ENDA: Oh shite ...
["Enda Doyle has something to share"]
ENDA: Blasted thing ...
[the camera turns back on, with Enda staring into it]
ENDA: A lifetime is far too short ...
["Find out October 13th, 2009 redrosesandpetrol.com"]

---

From wikipedia.org:

"Red Roses and Petrol" is a 2003 drama film based on the stage play of the same name by Joseph O'Connor. The film was directed by Tamar Simon Hoffs, and stars Malcolm McDowell and Max Beesley.

Amid a haze of cigarette smoke and uneaten food, the family of Enda Doyle (Malcolm McDowell) gathers in Dublin for his wake. A university librarian, poet, and complicated man, he has left behind a trail of unresolved issues, a dysfunctional family, and a disturbing mystery. Red Roses and Petrol, a darkly comic feature film by director Tamar Simon Hoffs, explores the emotional twists and turns of familial relationships.