Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Case Study No. 0665: Staff of Unnamed Library (Trigger Happy TV)

Trigger Happy TV - Phone + Library
0:22
Classic clip from Series One. Please check out my other clips, and message me if there is one you would like. I have series 1, 2 & 3 DVD's and World shut your mouth DVD
Tags: trigger happy tv phone library dom joly series one quiet
Added: 5 years ago
From: mattd28
Views: 150,842

[scene opens inside of a British library, when a cell phone starts ringing]
DOM JOLY: [yelling] Hello?!
[the camera catches the nearby patrons and librarians jumping at the sound of his voice, as he stands up from his seat with a comically oversized cell phone next to his ear]
JOLY: [yelling] Yeah ... Yeah, I'm in the library, yeah!!!
[he starts walking around, continuing to scream into the phone while oblivious to the people around him]
JOLY: [yelling] You're cracking up ... no, yeah! No, I can't talk, I'm in the library for Christ's sake!!! Yeah!!!
[he walks off camera into the stacks]
JOLY: [from off camera] Sure!!!

---

From wikipedia.org:

Trigger Happy TV is a hidden camera/practical joke reality television series. The original British edition of the show, produced by Absolutely Productions, starred Dom Joly and ran for two series on the British television channel Channel 4 from 2000 to 2003. Although Channel 4 is owned and operated by the Channel Four Television Corporation, he made a name for himself as the sole star of the show, which he produced and directed with cameraman Sam Cadman.

The show consists of Joly deliberately entering into ludicrous or embarrassing situations in public places, which were filmed surreptitiously by Cadman. Sketches took place in a variety of locations, though most appeared to be filmed on the streets of Central London and Cheltenham.

The humour in the show is derived mainly through observation of the public's reactions to Joly's shenanigans. This signaled a departure from the usual hidden camera format, where members of the public are themselves pranked or "stitched-up" by show producers.

Unlike most hidden camera shows, many of the scenes in Trigger Happy TV do not revolve around trapping normal people into embarrassing and impossible situations. Instead, he often makes fun of himself rather than others, and many scenes made people stop and either laugh or simply wonder what was going on; the passers-by are never made aware of the fact that they are on television, presumably until they sign a release form allowing the use of the footage shot. Such scenes include Joly answering a gigantic novelty mobile phone and shouting at the top of his voice into it (normally in quiet locations like golf courses, cinemas, libraries and parks), a chef chasing an actor in a large rat costume out of a restaurant, and two actors dressed as masked Mexican wrestlers getting into spontaneous fights in grocery stores.

Case Study No. 0664: Becca Krznarich

September 29: A Librarian Punishment and a Long Journey
5:29
PLEASE NOTE:
This is just a caricature of the stereotypical librarian that is sadly ingrained into everyone's mind. We all know that librarians rock a variety of styles, spanning from conservative power suits to stuffy sweater vests, to piercings, tattoos, mohawks, and even, god forbid... cosplay.

In which Becca completes her punishment from Lizz and also drives from Austin, TX to Boston, MA.


People don't get how touchy librarians can be on this subject.

Music challenge and Things that Remind Me of You challenge will come next week! Dead camera!
Tags: Librarians Austin Boston Mriday Tonday Lizz and Camie Rock
Added: 4 years ago
From: wizrockateers
Views: 672

[scene opens with Becca Krznarich dressed as a stereotypical librarian (glasses, shawl, hair in a bun) sorting books]
NARRATOR: And here we have a librarian in her natural habitat. This is a very interesting creature, a sort of bibliophile, if you will, focused on books and mainly staring at them. A couple of key features ...
[the "Wizrockateers" logo appears on screen, then cut to the narrator pointing at her shoes]
NARRATOR: Here we note some of the particular items, accoutrements if you will, that make the common librarian ... Librarius Commonalis, so unique and individual! From the bottom, we first notice her sensible shoes. They're very comfortable. It's important, because she's on her feet long hours of the day, protesting book burnings and also fighting for intellectual freedom for other people. She spends a long time checking in and out books for her happy patrons, who leave with a sense of intellectual satisfaction and enhancement.
[he points to her legs]
NARRATOR: Moving upwards, we notice the next item ... stockings! They're not fishnets! This is because she doesn't need to be look-smart, she's book-smart! She doesn't have to be a leggy broad to feel comfortable about herself, and we say "More power to ya, Miss Librarius!"
[he points to a scarf sitting on her lap]
NARRATOR: A little higher, we notice the librarian's one and only pastime ... knitting! It's what she does! When she's tired of checking in books, she knits some, then she checks in some more books. Sometimes she eats an apple!
[he points to her chest]
NARRATOR: Moving on up, we notice two very important items right here, which really complete the librarian's charm ... They are, of course, the sweater-vest and cartigan. Not only do they keep her warm and create a very interesting effect, but they have the magic ability to scare away scary and horny attractive men, who might otherwise interrupt her very important time serving the populace.
[she laughs, then holds up a book entitled "He's Just Not in the Stars"]
NARRATOR: He's not just in the stars, he's on my boot when I kicked his ass in my very comfortable loafers!
[he points to her face]
NARRATOR: Moving a little higher, we notice one of the crowning achievements of the face ... the glasses, which manage to square everything off, McGona-glasses if you will. They're part of what makes her such a delicate creature.
[she looks down, as he points to the bun in her hair]
NARRATOR: And finally, the crowning achievement, if you will ... Uh ha, uh ha, uh ha ha!
[she laughs]
NARRATOR: The bun! It's tight, because so is she!
[she laughs]

Thanks to Tonks for recording that.
Thanks to Isaac for narrating.
Thanks to Ie for having lots of librarian attire on hand.
Thanks to Gonzo for being my special little helper buddy.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Case Study No. 0663: ACES Librarian

Library Dominoes
0:23
An impromptu and unconventional domino line at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's ACES Library. As a conceptual art project, it pokes fun at and criticizes the monotony and strictness of institutions and libraries.

It's all real - no tricks here! The textbooks were set up in one domino line, but filmed in four takes. After I finished the last take, 4 hours into the project, the librarian finally came up to investigate the ruckus. She waved her finger and gave me the boot, not even letting me help pick up the books. Lucky for her I had kept all the books in their shelved order - easy cleanup!
Tags: library dominoes books humor university college conceptual art
Added: 6 years ago
From: apaulso2
Views: 270,417

[scene opens on a row of books lined up on the floor of the library, as female student Amanda Paulson reaches in and pokes the first book to start a chain reaction]
[cut to another angle, showing the row of books curving around as they continue to fall dominos-style]
[cut to another bookshelf, as the row of books snakes its way around and they continue falling]
[cut to another camera that follows the books as they continue falling]
[cut to another angle, as the row of books makes its way out of the shelves section and zig-zags around the hallway, then the scene fades to black]

---

From atyourlibrary.org:

We all know there are books at the library and that many people enjoy reading them. However, this one patron has found a different use for them: dominoes! Let's hope he remembers to put them all back on the shelf. This was filmed at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's ACES Library.

---

From blogspot.com:

Created as a conceptual art piece by an art student at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, the work "pokes fun at and criticizes the monotony and strictness of institutions and libraries." The artist made her point when she was booted out of the library for the noise of the toppling books. She must have an inner librarian, however, because she left the "dominoes" in call number order.

Case Study No. 0662: Eun-soo

Heartbreak Library (????? 198?) - Trailer
1:35
Korean Movie (2008): Alternative title : "Page 198 in His Book", "198th Page of That Man's Book".

Eun-soo, a librarian watches for book vandalism that currently happens in the library. One day, she catches Jun-oh tearing off certain page of books. Eun-soo accuses him of vandalism but soon discovers the complex story behind his actions. Jun-ohs girlfriend suddenly leaves him with only a mysterious note. Look up page 198. Jun-ohs girlfriend was a bibliophile and she checked out books regularly at the library. Jun-oh goes to the library and tears out page 198 from every book he comes in touch. As Eun-soo has just broken up, she gives him an advice saying that he has to let her go if she really meant it. However, looking at Jun-oh torn apart by his love, Eun-soo starts to help him decipher the messages on page 198 of all the books.

Cast:
Lee Dong-wook
Yoo Jin
JO Ah-ra
Tags: ? ??? ? 198? heartbreak library trailer korean movie lee dong wook yoo jin jo ah ra 2008
Added: 3 years ago
From: EsraU
Views: 25,976

From koreatimes.co.uk:

"Heartbreak Library" brings the story of two young people tracing their past, only to discover the sad, yet true reality of love and life.

Both holding on to a painful memory, the couple meet unexpectedly, and their trip to the past drives them to the point where they finally realize that it was not the memory that was torturing them, but their obsession with it.

Eun-soo, played by singer/actress Eugene (Yoo Jin), is a librarian who takes her work very seriously. So when she discovers a tall young man dressed in a black suit ripping the pages out of books stacked next to him, she calls him a criminal.

Jun-oh, played by Lee Dong-wook, is a sad-eyed man who tears out page 198 from library books, which explains the Korean title of the film " Page 198 of His Book".

He explains to the curious, and furious, Eun-soo that his former girlfriend left him a note saying to check page 198 without mentioning the title of the book. Eun-soo, who has a personal crisis regarding an ex-boyfriend herself, sympathizes with the strange man in black, a chef, and determines to help him find the book.

The story continues as Eun-soo traces the address of the former girlfriend through the library database and later discovers why Jun-oh is so ardent in finding her, leaving her at a crossroads of her feelings and sympathy toward Jun-oh.

Cast:

Lee Dong-wook (???)
Yoo Jin (??)
Jo Ah-ra (???)
Ki Joo-bong (???)
Yoo Tae-gyoon (???)

Release date in South Korea : 2008/10/23

Case Study No. 0661: Unnamed Male Librarian (Cascada)

Cascada - Everytime We Touch
3:34
Official video for the UK #2 Hit Single!
Tags: cascada everytime every time we touch aatw clubland tv
Added: 5 years ago
From: SteveAATW
Views: 25,658,039

I still hear your voice
When you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch
In my dreams
Forgive me my weakness
But I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

Cause everytime we touch
I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss
I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast
I want this to last
Need you by my side

Cause everytime we touch
I feel the static
And everytime we kiss
I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so
I can't let you go
Want you in my life

Your arms are my castle
Your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times
We've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

Cause everytime we touch
I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss
I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast
I want this to last
Need you by my side

Cause everytime we touch
I feel the static
And everytime we kiss
I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so
I can't let you go
Want you in my life

Cause everytime we touch
I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss
I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast
I want this to last
Need you by my side

---

From wikipedia.org:

The music video for "Everytime We Touch" features Natalie Horler. Horler is seen outside a library looking at a picture of a man. She then walks into the library where the same man is the librarian. She starts to dance on a table, which makes the man angry. Horler then takes off the man's glasses and spikes his hair up and then proceeds to pull out library catalog drawers and throw and mix up library papers. This makes the man even more angry. The scene switches to Horler and the man where Horler seems to be apologizing. The man forgives her, and the scene switches to the front of the library where everyone in the library is dancing along with Horler (including the man). Afterwards Horler and the man leave the library via a side door and then the video ends.

---

From librarian-image.net:

The next music video I want to talk about is for Cascada's "Every Time we Touch". While the song is one of the usual pop-y love songs, the setting is a library and the object of the singer's affection is a librarian. Complete with the glasses, bow tie (which I guess is the male stereotypical equivalent of the bun?) and shushing action, while she dances through the library singing of her longing for him, he's hustling about fixing the card catalog and looking dismayed at all the noise. The library patrons also start out looking a bit put off when the singer jumps up on the reading table and goes to town, but then they all start dancing as well. Then the singer pulls off the librarian's glasses and loosens his tie, and whammo, he's now a dancin' maniac too! (Of course; we all know what happens when you take off a librarian's glasses!) The song ends with a great scene with all the library patrons dancing with the singer and librarian around the library. It's too bad it plays into both the male librarian stereotype and that of the poor, repressed librarian!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Case Study No. 0660: "Reel Life Librarians"

Reel Life Librarians
0:37
Me, a librarian?
Tags: library
Added: 5 years ago
From: plumag
Views: 833

[scene opens with an older female librarian "throwing" her voice (even though her lips still move) to have the puppet on her left hand ask her a question]
PUPPET: Say, what is it that you do?
[cut to another female librarian wearing a "finger puppet" glove on her right hand]
LIBRARIAN 1: I inspire creativity.
[cut to another female librarian standing outside of a library]
LIBRARIAN 2: I protect democracy ... and I read comic books!
[cut to a male librarian standing outside of Delray Beach City Hall]
LIBRARIAN 3: I defend the freedom to read.
[cut to another male librarian speaking directly to the camera]
LIBRARIAN 4: I'm a librarian because I love books and I love sharing them with other people.
[cut to another female librarian standing in front of a bookshelf]
LIBRARIAN 5: I'm a librarian because I love information, in all its forms and formats.
[cut to another female librarian holding some balloons]
LIBRARIAN 6: I'm a librarian because it's ... fun!
[cut to another male librarian holding an LP]
LIBRARIAN 7: From Gregorian chant to the Grateful Dead ... for me, it's all about the music.
[cut to several quick shots of different librarians speaking directly to the camera]
LIBRARIAN 8: I'm a librarian.
LIBRARIAN 9: I'm a librarian.
LIBRARIAN 10: I am a librarian ...
[cut to a black screen, as "For more information visit www dot LibraryCareers dot org" appears on screen]

---

From ala.org:

Four members of the ALA Emerging Leader team, including Regina Cortez, Alexia Hudson, Robin Rousu, and Carolyn Wood presented a marketing plan for LibraryCareers.org.

The EL team has a project wiki at http://wikis.ala.org/ emergingleaders/ index.php/ Project_DD. Members of the Assembly are asked to read the marketing plan in detail, provide feedback, and identify top priorities for implementation.

The Assembly agreed to the following immediate actions:

1. Julie will work with Connie to propose project opportunities for the next class of Emerging Leaders;

2. Larry Neal and members of the current EL team agreed to work with Lorelle Swader to pursue a website usability test;

3. Lorelle and Bea will immediately link the Reel Life Librarians video on YouTube.com to LibraryCareers.org;

4a. Lorelle will continue to work on improving the representation of LibraryCareers.org on the new ilovelibraries.org;

4b. Assembly members also are encouraged to review the ilovelibraries.org website and provide direct feedback;

5a. Julie will work with Lorelle and Bea to email LibraryCareers.org brand logo and button to ALDirect;

5b. Julie will work with Lorelle and Bea to email LibraryCareers.org brand logo and button to state chapters.

Case Study No. 0659: The Librarian (Library of Babel)

The Library of Babel
6:45
My creative interpretation of Jorge Luis Borges' short story, The Library of Babel. What happens when one of the librarians actually finds the ultimate book? And what lies inside?...
With TJ Tulloch
Tags: library of babel short film books spaghetti western dead letters tj tulloch
Added: 2 years ago
From: Krystenism
Views: 1,116

["The Library of Babel" appears on screen, as several exterior shots of a library are shown, then cut to inside the building as a male librarian is standing at the end of a corridor holding an old book]
[cut to a slow motion shot of the man dropping the book, then the camera zooms in on the book as it sits on the floor and the pages slowly turn one by one]
[cut to more shots inside the library, then the camera stops at one bookshelf in particular, as a female hand from off camera reaches in and grabs an old copy of "Road to Survival" by William Vogt]
[cut to the unseen person placing the book down and opening it, then to another shot of the person frantically flipping through the pages until finally reaching a section of the book where a large square chunk of the pages have been cut out]
[the camera zooms in on the missing portion of the book, then the film is superimposed with a cartoon drawing of a circular line]
[the scene then changes to an animated chalk drawing on a black background, showing a large tower as the sun passes overhead, then the tower falls over in a cloud of dust]
[cut to a chalk drawing of a stick figure emerging from the ruins of the tower]
[cut to a chalk drawing of a door opening and a curtain being raised, with the words "welcome to life behind the curtain ... " written in cursive]
[the animation shows the eraser markings as the drawing disappears, leaving only the words "beyond the curtain ... " (and the "u" changes to an "e" to spell out "beyond the certain ... ")]
[cut to a chalk drawing of a stack of books, with the words "This is the book you've been seeking" (with "This is the book" all in uppercase, and "you've been seeking" written in cursive)]
[each part of the drawing slowly disappears, leaving only "the book", then the word "one" appears, and "book" is erased to leave only "the one" (with a circle drawn around it)]
[thought bubbles appear around the words "the one", each containing a single word (spelling out "that holds the secret")]
[the words are erased, replaced by the silhouette of a woman putting a finger to her lips, along with the word "Shhhhhhhhh" (with each "h" growing smaller and smaller until they appear as mere dots)]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "the secret that history repeats itself", then a "t" is added in front of "history", then the "s" is emphasized and splits in two (spelling out "this story")]
[cut to a chalk drawing of several squiggly lines which eventually form a type of maze, with "your here" written on one side and "X marks the spot" written on the other]
[dotted lines eventually appear to link the two points, then the middle of the maze is erased as the words "you wander this labyrinth" appear]
[the words "you wander" are erased, then "labyrinth" is replaced with "library"]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the globe spinning in orbit amongst the stars, with the words "of everything" written in uppercase letters]
[the globe suddenly changes to a hexagonal shape, then it is surrounded by other hexagons (filled with random images of stars and planets) to form a honeycomb pattern, with the words "everyone on the same fruitless journey"]
[part of the honeycomb pattern is erased, with the words "as every man before him" added in its place]
[three of the hexagons have their contents erased, each replaced with a single word to form the phrase "in the hive"]
[the entire image is erased, save for the phrase "in the hive", then a chalk drawing of bees are added next to the hexagons]
[the animation shows the eraser markings as the drawing disappears, then the words "there is no God" appears]
[the word "no" changes to "a" (to create the new phrase "there is a God"), then a "w" is added to "there" and "a" is erased (to create the new phrase "where is God")]
[a question mark is added to the end of the sentence, then the "a" returns and the words "where is" morph into "are you" (to create the new phrase "are you a God?"]
["God is in" replaces "are" and "a God?" disappears (to create the new phrase "God is in you"), then "no more" is added to the end (to create the new phrase "God is in you no more")]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "all true to someone" (with "all true" written in cursive and "to someone" all in uppercase), then all the words except "true" are erased and the "e" morphs into a "th"]
[the words "is cyclical" are added (to create the new phrase "truth is cyclical", as drawings of the sun and clouds are shown moving across the screen]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "what goes up" in uppercase letters, as the word "up" repeats and continually moves up the screen]
[cut to an exterior shot of a porch with picket railings, then back to the chalk drawing as the words change to "must come down" in uppercase letters (as the word "down" repeats and continually moves down the screen)]
[cut to a stylized shot of the librarian breaking the picket railings surrounding the porch, then to a closeup of the pieces lying on the floor]
[cut back to the chalkboard, as a drawing of the Eiffel Tower is shown falling over, then a stick figure appears with a word balloon that reads "Merde"]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the Leaning Tower of Pisa falling over, then a stick figure appears with a word balloon that reads "Merda"]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the Space Needle falling over, then a stick figure appears with a word balloon that reads "Shit"]
[cut to a chalk drawing of a pagoda falling over, then a stick figure appears with a word balloon that features Chinese characters]
[cut back to another stylized shot of the railing pieces lying on the floor, then back to the chalkboard, as the words "like you ... " appear]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "you got your wish", then cut to the words "the library has been justified" in uppercase letters]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "in one being", then the words "being" and "one" disappear and are replaced by "you" (to create the new phrase "in you")]
[cut to a chalk drawing of the words "as it is for every man just before he reaches death"]
[the scene fades to black, then is replaced by a chalk drawing of the word "curtains"]
[cut back to the chalk drawing of the door and curtain (only played in reverse), then back to the copy of "Road to Survival" as the camera slowly zooms out from the missing portion of the pages to reveal that the librarian is holding the book while lying unconcsious on the floor (his head propped up against the bookshelf)]
[cut to a closeup of the book, as the pages slowly turn and the book slams shut]

The Library of Babel
Created by Krysten Maier

The Librarian
TJ Tulloch

Demolition Man
Don Maier

Soundtrack
The Dead Letters

WL 203
Summer 2010

---

From wikipedia.org:

"The Library of Babel" (Spanish: La biblioteca de Babel) is a short story by Argentine author and librarian Jorge Luis Borges (1899–1986), conceiving of a universe in the form of a vast library containing all possible 410-page books of a certain format.

The story was originally published in Spanish in Borges's 1941 collection of stories El Jardín de senderos que se bifurcan (The Garden of Forking Paths). That entire book was, in turn, included within his much-reprinted Ficciones (1944). Two English-language translations appeared approximately simultaneously in 1962, one by James E. Irby in a diverse collection of Borges's works titled Labyrinths and the other by Anthony Kerrigan as part of a collaborative translation of the entirety of Ficciones.

Borges's narrator describes how his universe consists of an enormous expanse of interlocking hexagonal rooms, each of which contains the bare necessities for human survival-and four walls of bookshelves. Though the order and content of the books is random and apparently completely meaningless, the inhabitants believe that the books contain every possible ordering of just a few basic characters (letters, spaces and punctuation marks). Though the majority of the books in this universe are pure gibberish, the library also must contain, somewhere, every coherent book ever written, or that might ever be written, and every possible permutation or slightly erroneous version of every one of those books. The narrator notes that the library must contain all useful information, including predictions of the future, biographies of any person, and translations of every book in all languages. Conversely, for many of the texts some language could be devised that would make it readable with any of a vast number of different contents.

Despite - indeed, because of - this glut of information, all books are totally useless to the reader, leaving the librarians in a state of suicidal despair. This leads some librarians to superstitions and cult-like behaviour, such as the "Purifiers", who arbitrarily destroy books they deem nonsense as they scour through the library seeking the "Crimson Hexagon" and its illustrated, magical books. Another is the belief that since all books exist in the library, somewhere one of the books must be a perfect index of the library's contents; some even believe that a messianic figure known as the "Man of the Book" has read it, and they travel through the library seeking him.

---

From everythingandnothingproject.com:

Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentinian writer, essayist, poet and translator. He was tremendously influential, writing intricate poems, short stories, and essays that instantiated concepts of dizzying power. His work embraced the "character of unreality in all literature."

THE LIBRARY OF BABEL

By this art you may contemplate the variations of the 23 letters...
The Anatomy of Melancholy, part 2, sect. II, mem. IV

The universe (which others call the Library) is composed of an indefinite and perhaps infinite number of hexagonal galleries, with vast air shafts between, surrounded by very low railings. From any of the hexagons one can see, interminably, the upper and lower floors. The distribution of the galleries is invariable. Twenty shelves, five long shelves per side, cover all the sides except two; their height, which is the distance from floor to ceiling, scarcely exceeds that of a normal bookcase. One of the free sides leads to a narrow hallway which opens onto another gallery, identical to the first and to all the rest. To the left and right of the hallway there are two very small closets. In the first, one may sleep standing up; in the other, satisfy one's faecal necessities. Also through here passes a spiral stairway, which sinks abysmally and soars upwards to remote distances. In the hallway there is a mirror which faithfully duplicates all appearances. Men usually infer from this mirror that the Library is not infinite (if it were, why this illusory duplication?); I prefer to dream that its polished surfaces represent and promise the infinite ... Light is provided by some spherical fruit which bear the name of lamps. There are two, transversally placed, in each hexagon. The light they emit is insufficient, incessant.

Like all men of the Library, I have traveled in my youth; I have wandered in search of a book, perhaps the catalogue of catalogues; now that my eyes can hardly decipher what I write, I am preparing to die just a few leagues from the hexagon in which I was born. Once I am dead, there will be no lack of pious hands to throw me over the railing; my grave will be the fathomless air; my body will sink endlessly and decay and dissolve in the wind generated by the fall, which is infinite. I say that the Library is unending. The idealists argue that the hexagonal rooms are a necessary form of absolute space or, at least, of our intuition of space. They reason that a triangular or pentagonal room is inconceivable. (The mystics claim that their ecstasy reveals to them a circular chamber containing a great circular book, whose spine is continuous and which follows the complete circle of the walls; but their testimony is suspect; their words, obscure. This cyclical book is God.) Let it suffice now for me to repeat the classic dictum: The Library is a sphere whose exact center is any one of its hexagons and whose circumference is inaccessible.

There are five shelves for each of the hexagon's walls; each shelf contains thirty-five books of uniform format; each book is of four hundred and ten pages; each page, of forty lines, each line, of some eighty letters which are black in color. There are also letters on the spine of each book; these letters do not indicate or prefigure what the pages will say. I know that this incoherence at one time seemed mysterious. Before summarizing the solution (whose discovery, in spite of its tragic projections, is perhaps the capital fact in history) I wish to recall a few axioms.

First: The Library exists ab aeterno. This truth, whose immediate corollary is the future eternity of the world, cannot be placed in doubt by any reasonable mind. Man, the imperfect librarian, may be the product of chance or of malevolent demiurgi; the universe, with its elegant endowment of shelves, of enigmatical volumes, of inexhaustible stairways for the traveler and latrines for the seated librarian, can only be the work of a god. To perceive the distance between the divine and the human, it is enough to compare these crude wavering symbols which my fallible hand scrawls on the cover of a book, with the organic letters inside: punctual, delicate, perfectly black, inimitably symmetrical.
Second: The orthographical symbols are twenty-five in number. (1) This finding made it possible, three hundred years ago, to formulate a general theory of the Library and solve satisfactorily the problem which no conjecture had deciphered: the formless and chaotic nature of almost all the books. One which my father saw in a hexagon on circuit fifteen ninety-four was made up of the letters MCV, perversely repeated from the first line to the last. Another (very much consulted in this area) is a mere labyrinth of letters, but the next-to-last page says Oh time thy pyramids. This much is already known: for every sensible line of straightforward statement, there are leagues of senseless cacophonies, verbal jumbles and incoherences. (I know of an uncouth region whose librarians repudiate the vain and superstitious custom of finding a meaning in books and equate it with that of finding a meaning in dreams or in the chaotic lines of one's palm ... They admit that the inventors of this writing imitated the twenty-five natural symbols, but maintain that this application is accidental and that the books signify nothing in themselves. This dictum, we shall see, is not entirely fallacious.)

For a long time it was believed that these impenetrable books corresponded to past or remote languages. It is true that the most ancient men, the first librarians, used a language quite different from the one we now speak; it is true that a few miles to the right the tongue is dialectical and that ninety floors farther up, it is incomprehensible. All this, I repeat, is true, but four hundred and ten pages of inalterable MCV's cannot correspond to any language, no matter how dialectical or rudimentary it may be. Some insinuated that each letter could influence the following one and that the value of MCV in the third line of page 71 was not the one the same series may have in another position on another page, but this vague thesis did not prevail. Others thought of cryptographs; generally, this conjecture has been accepted, though not in the sense in which it was formulated by its originators.

Five hundred years ago, the chief of an upper hexagon (2) came upon a book as confusing as the others, but which had nearly two pages of homogeneous lines. He showed his find to a wandering decoder who told him the lines were written in Portuguese; others said they were Yiddish. Within a century, the language was established: a Samoyedic Lithuanian dialect of Guarani, with classical Arabian inflections. The content was also deciphered: some notions of combinative analysis, illustrated with examples of variations with unlimited repetition. These examples made it possible for a librarian of genius to discover the fundamental law of the Library. This thinker observed that all the books, no matter how diverse they might be, are made up of the same elements: the space, the period, the comma, the twenty-two letters of the alphabet. He also alleged a fact which travelers have confirmed: In the vast Library there are no two identical books. From these two incontrovertible premises he deduced that the Library is total and that its shelves register all the possible combinations of the twenty-odd orthographical symbols (a number which, though extremely vast, is not infinite): Everything: the minutely detailed history of the future, the archangels' autobiographies, the faithful catalogues of the Library, thousands and thousands of false catalogues, the demonstration of the fallacy of those catalogues, the demonstration of the fallacy of the true catalogue, the Gnostic gospel of Basilides, the commentary on that gospel, the commentary on the commentary on that gospel, the true story of your death, the translation of every book in all languages, the interpolations of every book in all books.

When it was proclaimed that the Library contained all books, the first impression was one of extravagant happiness. All men felt themselves to be the masters of an intact and secret treasure. There was no personal or world problem whose eloquent solution did not exist in some hexagon. The universe was justified, the universe suddenly usurped the unlimited dimensions of hope. At that time a great deal was said about the Vindications: books of apology and prophecy which vindicated for all time the acts of every man in the universe and retained prodigious arcana for his future. Thousands of the greedy abandoned their sweet native hexagons and rushed up the stairways, urged on by the vain intention of finding their Vindication. These pilgrims disputed in the narrow corridors, proferred dark curses, strangled each other on the divine stairways, flung the deceptive books into the air shafts, met their death cast down in a similar fashion by the inhabitants of remote regions. Others went mad ... The Vindications exist (I have seen two which refer to persons of the future, to persons who are perhaps not imaginary) but the searchers did not remember that the possibility of a man's finding his Vindication, or some treacherous variation thereof, can be computed as zero.
At that time it was also hoped that a clarification of humanity's basic mysteries -- the origin of the Library and of time -- might be found. It is verisimilar that these grave mysteries could be explained in words: if the language of philosophers is not sufficient, the multiform Library will have produced the unprecedented language required, with its vocabularies and grammars. For four centuries now men have exhausted the hexagons ... There are official searchers, inquisitors. I have seen them in the performance of their function: they always arrive extremely tired from their journeys; they speak of a broken stairway which almost killed them; they talk with the librarian of galleries and stairs; sometimes they pick up the nearest volume and leaf through it, looking for infamous words. Obviously, no one expects to discover anything.
As was natural, this inordinate hope was followed by an excessive depression. The certitude that some shelf in some hexagon held precious books and that these precious books were inaccessible, seemed almost intolerable. A blasphemous sect suggested that the searches should cease and that all men should juggle letters and symbols until they constructed, by an improbable gift of chance, these canonical books. The authorities were obliged to issue severe orders. The sect disappeared, but in my childhood I have seen old men who, for long periods of time, would hide in the latrines with some metal disks in a forbidden dice cup and feebly mimic the divine disorder.

Others, inversely, believed that it was fundamental to eliminate useless works. They invaded the hexagons, showed credentials which were not always false, leafed through a volume with displeasure and condemned whole shelves: their hygienic, ascetic furor caused the senseless perdition of millions of books. Their name is execrated, but those who deplore the "treasures" destroyed by this frenzy neglect two notable facts. One: the Library is so enormous that any reduction of human origin is infinitesimal. The other: every copy is unique, irreplaceable, but (since the Library is total) there are always several hundred thousand imperfect facsimiles: works which differ only in a letter or a comma. Counter to general opinion, I venture to suppose that the consequences of the Purifiers' depredations have been exaggerated by the horror these fanatics produced. They were urged on by the delirium of trying to reach the books in the Crimson Hexagon: books whose format is smaller than usual, all-powerful, illustrated and magical.

We also know of another superstition of that time: that of the Man of the Book. On some shelf in some hexagon (men reasoned) there must exist a book which is the formula and perfect compendium of all the rest: some librarian has gone through it and he is analogous to a god. In the language of this zone vestiges of this remote functionary's cult still persist. Many wandered in search of Him. For a century they have exhausted in vain the most varied areas. How could one locate the venerated and secret hexagon which housed Him? Someone proposed a regressive method: To locate book A, consult first book B which indicates A's position; to locate book B, consult first a book C, and so on to infinity ... In adventures such as these, I have squandered and wasted my years. It does not seem unlikely to me that there is a total book on some shelf of the universe; (3) I pray to the unknown gods that a man -- just one, even though it were thousands of years ago! -- may have examined and read it. If honor and wisdom and happiness are not for me, let them be for others. Let heaven exist, though my place be in hell. Let me be outraged and annihilated, but for one instant, in one being, let Your enormous Library be justified. The impious maintain that nonsense is normal in the Library and that the reasonable (and even humble and pure coherence) is an almost miraculous exception. They speak (I know) of the "feverish Library whose chance volumes are constantly in danger of changing into others and affirm, negate and confuse everything like a delirious divinity." These words, which not only denounce the disorder but exemplify it as well, notoriously prove their authors' abominable taste and desperate ignorance. In truth, the Library includes all verbal structures, all variations permitted by the twenty-five orthographical symbols, but not a single example of absolute nonsense. It is useless to observe that the best volume of the many hexagons under my administration is entitled The Combed Thunderclap and another The Plaster Cramp and another Axaxaxas mlö. These phrases, at first glance incoherent, can no doubt be justified in a cryptographical or allegorical manner; such a justification is verbal and, ex hypothesi, already figures in the Library. I cannot combine some characters

dhcmrlchtdj

which the divine Library has not foreseen and which in one of its secret tongues do not contain a terrible meaning. No one can articulate a syllable which is not filled with tenderness and fear, which is not, in one of these languages, the powerful name of a god. To speak is to fall into tautology. This wordy and useless epistle already exists in one of the thirty volumes of the five shelves of one of the innumerable hexagons -- and its refutation as well. (An n number of possible languages use the same vocabulary; in some of them, the symbol library allows the correct definition a ubiquitous and lasting system of hexagonal galleries, but library is bread or pyramidor anything else, and these seven words which define it have another value. You who read me, are You sure of understanding my language?)

The methodical task of writing distracts me from the present state of men. The certitude that everything has been written negates us or turns us into phantoms. I know of districts in which the young men prostrate themselves before books and kiss their pages in a barbarous manner, but they do not know how to decipher a single letter. Epidemics, heretical conflicts, peregrinations which inevitably degenerate into banditry, have decimated the population. I believe I have mentioned suicides, more and more frequent with the years. Perhaps my old age and fearfulness deceive me, but I suspect that the human species -- the unique species -- is about to be extinguished, but the Library will endure: illuminated, solitary, infinite, perfectly motionless, equipped with precious volumes, useless, incorruptible, secret.

I have just written the word "infinite." I have not interpolated this adjective out of rhetorical habit; I say that it is not illogical to think that the world is infinite. Those who judge it to be limited postulate that in remote places the corridors and stairways and hexagons can conceivably come to an end -- which is absurd. Those who imagine it to be without limit forget that the possible number of books does have such a limit. I venture to suggest this solution to the ancient problem: The Library is unlimited and cyclical. If an eternal traveler were to cross it in any direction, after centuries he would see that the same volumes were repeated in the same disorder (which, thus repeated, would be an order: the Order). My solitude is gladdened by this elegant hope.

Translated by J. E. I.

Notes

1 The original manuscript does not contain digits or capital letters. The punctuation has been limited to the comma and the period. These two signs, the space and the twenty-two letters of the alphabet are the twenty-five symbols considered sufficient by this unknown author. (Editor's note.)
2 Before, there was a man for every three hexagons. Suicide and pulmonary diseases have destroyed that proportion. A memory of unspeakable melancholy: at times I have traveled for many nights through corridors and along polished stairways without finding a single librarian.
3 I repeat: it suffices that a book be possible for it to exist. Only the impossible is excluded. For example: no book can be a ladder, although no doubt there are books which discuss and negate and demonstrate this possibility and others whose structure corresponds to that of a ladder.
4 Letizia Alvarez de Toledo has observed that this vast Library is useless: rigorously speaking, a single volume would be sufficient, a volume of ordinary format, printed in nine or ten point type, containing an infinite number if infinitely thin leaves. (In the early seventeenth century, Cavalieri said that all solid bodies are the superimposition of an infinite number of planes.) The handling of this silky vade mecum would not be convenient: each apparent page would unfold into other analogous ones; the inconceivable middle page would have no reverse.