The Librarian from the Black Lagoon
5:56
by Mike Thaler, illustrated b y Jared Lee, read by Jennifer Morrow
Tags: Screencast-O-Matic.com
Added: 5 months ago
From: Jennifer Morrow
Views: 3,953
Today our class is going to the library.
We've been hearing some really scary things about the place.
The library is somewhere behind the boiler room.
It's called "Media Center of the Earth!"
Mrs. Beamster is the librarian.
The kids call her "The Laminator."
They say she laminates you if you talk in the library.
She also has a library assistant named Igor.
You know you're getting close to the library by the signs on the wall.
No Talking Beyond This Point!
No Whispering Beyond This Point!
No Breathing Beyond This Point!
They say you're allowed to stay in the library as long as you can hold your breath.
Some kids last as long as a minute.
That doesn't include the time in the Decontamination Room.
There you put on hair nets and rubber gloves.
Next, you have to go through the Gum Detector!
You're laminated!
They say she puts glue on all the chairs so you won't wriggle.
Once you're finally in the library, you can't actually check out books.
In fact, you can't take them off the shelves.
To keep the books in alphabetical order, Mrs. Beamster bolts them together.
Also, they say the shelves are electrified.
If you twist your neck and squint, you can read the spines.
Everyone says the best part of a library visit is Storytime.
All the kids stand at attention, while Mrs. Beamster reads one of the cards from the card catalog.
"Percy Woodrow Benter. Basket Weaving. 96 pages, illustrated."
Or, if you catch her in a good mood, she'll recite the Dewey decimal system by heart.
"Botany, 580. Budgets, 332. Business, 338."
They say Mrs. Beamster has a crush on Mr. Dewey and that she carries his picture in a lead locket around her neck.
She also has rubber stamps on the soles of her shoes.
And, wherever she steps ... it says Overdue!
She seems to have ears on the back of her head.
If she catches you whispering ...
Then she shows you slides of all her vacations since 1902.
She goes to the same place every year - the Library of Congress.
Mrs. Beamster also subscribes to three magazines:
The Morticians Monthly, The Complete Pamphlet of Zip Codes, and Spots Illustrated: The Magazine for Cleaner Laundry.
These you do get to read.
But stay away from her plants. They are Venus Fly Traps!
And don't pet the animals in her petting zoo, which contains a piranha and a porcupine.
Don't go near her computer either, it uses a real mouse!
Well, it's time to go.
As we get near the library there are lots of signs.
Books Are Fun!
Books Are Joy!
Read!
We Spray For Book Worms
Books Can Take You Everywhere!
We march right in and sit down in little chairs.
These must be the ones without glue.
Mrs. Beamster comes over with an armful of books and puts them on our table.
Then she smiles and hands me one.
It's a book of knock-knock jokes!
Knock knock ...
Who's there?
Dishes ...
Dishes who?
Dishes a nice place to be.
Ha ha ha ...
I'm going to love the library!
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From amazon.com:
The Librarian from the Black Lagoon
by Thaler, Mike(Author) ; Lee, Jared (Illustrator); Korman, Gordon(Author)
Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks (August 31, 1997)
ASIN: B002E9VA18
A school class is going to the library and they heard some scary things. Does the librarian REALLY laminate kids who talk in the library?
This is a wacky story from the author and illustrator of THE TEACHER FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, THE PRINCIPAL FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, THE GYM TEACHER FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, and THE SCHOOL NURSE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Read them all!
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From scholastic.com:
The Librarian from the Black Lagoon
(Black Lagoon Adventures)
By Mike Thaler, illustrated by Jared D. Lee
The newest book in the Black Lagoon series. Mrs. Beamster may be the school librarian, but to the kids at school, she's the "Laminator." If she catches you whispering, you're laminated! Full color.
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